3 Ways Men Test Women (How to win him over!)


The beginning parts of a
relationship, both men and women test each other. Sometimes it’s conscious. Other times it’s subconscious. They don’t even know that they’re
doing it. But one thing is for sure. How you respond to these tests will set the entire tone of the relationship. So it’s very important to understand
what’s going on when you’re being tested and what you can do to respond appropriately in a way that will
build attraction and help you to be fully respected in the way that you deserve to be. Hi I’m Jason Silver. I am the dating coach for ambitious women and this is my channel attract great guys where every single week we go through strategies and principles that help you to attract a lifelong committed
relationship with a high quality man. Now I would love it if you would
become a subscriber just hit the red subscribe button
beneath this video and the little
notification bell next to it. So you are notified of all of my videos. I also stick around and I respond to all questions in the comments section so I’d love
for you to get engaged down there and just ask me a question or share your experience and we’d love to kind of carry the
conversation down there. So let’s jump into these tests and how to identify them. Now there’s three tests that I want
to talk about. There’s the attraction test. There’s the sarcasm test and the consideration test each one of these are different and they’re testing for
different things. So it’s important for you to have a baseline understanding so when these situations come up you are aware of it and you can make the right decision. Now I’m going to run through three
different tests and these tests very often are almost designed in a way to break down your value and to allow a guy to get whatever he wants in a selfish way. And I’ll I’ll explain that shortly. But it’s important for you to be
aware of these things so you don’t ever cross your standards. You don’t go below your threshold of what you need and who you are. You remain a high value woman. Now the first test is probably the most common which is the sexual test. There’s a couple of different
ways that this can manifest but basically a man is testing you to see how quickly he can sleep with you and potentially he may even be testing you to see what percentage of the relationship can be spent just fulfilling his sexual needs versus actually building an intimate
relationship so go into both of those. The first is just him escalating physically. I mean that is how he’s testing you. He’s constantly escalating
physically or he’s escalating verbally. So if he’s touching you if he’s moving closer to you if he tries to kiss you it might even be more subtle where he’s just in your personal space. He maybe puts his arm around you and does things that you might not
be overtly sexual but he’s escalating and also verbally. If he says things that are
flirtatious and sexual really early on maybe even before you met like over an online dating site or over the phone. These are pretty much red flags. If a guy is trying to be that
polarizing before you even meet if you’re
looking for a lifelong committed
relationship I would encourage you to just be very
very cautious. So how do you pass the sexual test. It’s very very simple. Basically you hold yourself to your own standards and you don’t allow his escalation to go past any point where you don’t feel comfortable. And this is a huge issue. I speak with so many women who feel
pressured and they don’t want to seem like a
prude or they don’t want to kill the mood. And so they you know allow the the escalation even though they didn’t really want it or felt like it was too soon. And this is very important a high quality man someone that
you’re going to want to spend the rest of your life with. He is going to have to respect you and care about you and desire for you to feel comfortable. That’s key. You only want to be with someone who considers your comfort not someone who’s going to try to make you feel uncomfortable or who doesn’t care about you feeling uncomfortable just so
they can fulfill their own sexual needs. That is someone that you want to run
away from. So if a guy is pushing you or making you feel bad because
you’re waiting too long for him or he’s trying to make you feel like you’re slow and that’s not how dating is. That’s a guy who’s basically using
shame or guilt or manipulation to get you to do something that
makes you feel uncomfortable for his own sexual
gratification. And that is not someone that should not be attractive to you
period. So the way that you win that Test is by not listening to him not escalating and pretty much running away or setting the boundary and being very clear that this is
not happening at your speed. This is happening when we both want
it to happen and the other side of the
coin is not just speed at which at which he escalates. If you’re already
intimate with one another it’s just kissing or whether you’re sleeping
together. Then the question becomes what is our relationship. Do I only see him maybe late at night when he comes over and we say hi for a minute and then all of a sudden you know
we’re getting physically intimate. Do we spend time outside with friends or social circle doing things that
are that are not physically intimate. What percentage of time are we spending together intimate versus in other activities. And is that OK with me is that what
I’m looking for. And is he only reaching out and every time I see him. Is it all about the physical
intimacy. Because if that’s the case more than likely you’re being used and it’s important that you are getting what you want out of it. If that’s just what you want out of
it great as long as you’re fulfilled. But it’s important to be aware of
what your needs are and making sure that you require that and that you don’t just give
someone and give and give and give without your own needs
being met. It’s just like taking the oxygen mask we have to make sure that we are filled in a relationship because if we’re not filled we have
nothing left to give to the other person in the
relationship or to our friends and family or social circle. So that’s the other side of the
coin. And that’s how you pass the test. It’s basically standards you hold your own standards you
don’t allow yourself to be manipulated or to lower your own standards just to please someone
else that’s people pleasing. And it’s not helpful to you and ultimately it’s not helpful to
anyone else. And if you want to dive a little bit
deeper into this click the link in the description of this video and you can get free access to a training pretty in-depth training that I think you will find extremely valuable. So just check that out and you just put in your email and you’ll get instant access. The next test is the sarcasm test. Now this is interesting but the root of the word sarcasm is stark and that literally means tearing into the flesh of tearing into the flesh. I mean that is not nice. Now I realize that sarcasm can be very funny. I struggle with being overly sarcastic at times and I can tell you that. If a guy says something to you that. Is not really nice. In other words just outwardly if he just said it and he wasn’t joking you’d say
that’s not a nice thing to say. Like if he’s teasing
you or if he’s kind of doing little
criticisms about you but he’s masking it in a joke it’s like I’m just kidding
I’m just kidding lighten up. I can tell you that that is a red flag and he’s testing you at this point
whether you realize it or not and if you just laugh along that’s basically training him that he can treat you in that
way. You’re training him and he can say things that are not nice as long as he masks it as a joke. And that’s not OK. And I encourage you to stop it and to let him know and to not laugh and say hey that’s that’s not nice. I don’t I don’t think that’s funny. I like it when you say nice things
to me. I like it when you joke in a nice
way where you’re being nice to me. If you can maintain that and be aware of those sarcastic statements and make sure that the sarcasm isn’t biting into you if you don’t respond if you laugh
along those sarcastic statements can turn into disrespect. So that’s definitely a test to watch
out for. And it’s one of the most common ones
in our society. And when a relationship starts
getting a little bit rocky many times it can begin with sarcasm just getting more and more sarcastic with one another because it’s kind
of a passive aggressive way to communicate with a partner. So keep an eye out for that test and the final test is what I call the consideration test. This is a very simple. This is just how he treats you. Is he treating you with care with consideration. Is he thinking about your needs. Is he being empathetic or are most of his actions based around his own self-centered needs his own self-centered desires. And this is really important at the
end of the day. You deserve a man who’s going to be
kind and considerate thoughtful chivalrous someone who’s going to be nice and sweet and maybe he talks a big game. But the bottom line how is he treating you. Like I said earlier we train people how to treat us. And if he’s not acting in a way that’s consistent with how you would imagine the woman that you value most in this world would expect to be treated you deserve to be treated in the same
way that the woman you respect most in
this world deserves to be treated. Why should you be any different. So if he’s not treating you to that standard then look at the relationship and ask Is this
really what’s best for for me. No no it’s not. You deserve to be treated with care and consideration. And that’s the time you draw a
boundary and say this isn’t working. And if you can follow these three tests which at the end of the
day are about increasing your standards and not allowing people to treat you in a way that you don’t deserve to
be treated as long as you can keep standards
up. You will pass all the tests. This should be your authentic
reaction anyway because you are a high value
woman and you do deserve to be treated
kindly so I have no doubt that this video should help you to be
more aware and make sure that you’re nipping anything in the butt. The moment that it happens and I appreciate you for checking this video out if you like this
video hit the thumbs up button and also let’s jump down in the
comments. Let me know if you’re aware of any if any of these tests and if there’s any other tests that
you have been aware of in a relationship that might be helpful for us to
discuss. I’ll be there in the comments
section. I’m here every week. I’d love to have you as a subscriber and if you want to go deeper into
being a high value woman and attracting high value men just click the link beneath this
description and you will get instant free access to my training. I think it’ll be very very helpful
for you. So thank you so much for watching and I look forward to seeing you
soon. Take good care.

100 thoughts on “3 Ways Men Test Women (How to win him over!)

  • The sexual test is unfortunately veyy Sad living in our day and age where women should be able to exude their sexuality just like a man. This is what is equality is all about. It can be a form for woman to find out if they can perpetuate an emotional connection through sex as it's not just an act. So everything in hindsight is based on energy and they way both parties click. If a guy tests you on how fast you will sleep with him, he is obviously not feeling it. Self love and value comes prior, during and AFTER sex which will allow a man to assess a woman's dignity. Ie: consistency. Peace, light and love

  • Yes just had this happen and 3rd was when I needed him to help me thru storm and his answer so 3 things your history…he did all 3 things but I told him one more it will be it…I can be just as cold hearted and hope he has a great day..he was history

  • I've heard people say if a man always come over late at night for sex he has a girlfriend that he respects.

  • What’s the message if he was the one who initiated the relationship made a few dates and never showed up or never mentioned not showing up actually saying? He is going through a very difficult situation with legal stuff against him. But I don’t know the complete story and he’s never totally mentioned it saying he’ll call and tell me but never goes? I’m ready to say bye bye!

  • I dated this one guy who was a total nightmare. First day we actually met and started talking he was too touchy. Second day we spoke on the phone , he started to call me babe and I knew that I was going to have to cut the relationship short. I hated it after a week. 😁 He started forcing me to kiss, forced me to eat and was extremely childish. Idk if he thought that it was cute. But I remember cussing at him via text and broke up with him on Facebook. He wasn't worth it. He was a disaster. I felt so free afterward. I didn't even want to date again. This ex made me compromise my own beliefs. Forced and begged for sex. I stayed true to myself and told him that I made a covenant with God. And he was respectful but subtle in his own ways yet I did not give in. I could already see a failed marriage if I married him. He had no standard's for himself. And I didn't want to be stuck with someone like that.

  • I managed to turn things around with my ex boyfriend after i used Love Spell. Since the spell was cast, it seems that he's is more reasonable and not as demanding. And a real plus – that's the email that i'd contacted by the way (drphilipspelltemple @yahoo. com) . I got results in a week 😀

  • Hello. How long should you be dating a guy before you kiss? Also, I am saving myself for that one guy that I will want to Marry. So is it wrong to kiss the guy? How should all this work?

  • Holy fck dude that sarcasm thing is true i did it whit a girl and normally im pretty srs while taking but i started teasing and being sarcastic asf now i understand why i did that wtf kinda weird

  • Wow, this is really awesome👌 and I learnt a lot 4rm diz eventhou I'm smiley😆 disagreed with the title of the vid cos I can't waste my precious time to win a guy over no matter how slow motion- death I adored him, Its his responsibility to fight/win for whoever he do love but not us women. I will appreciate if you make a video on HOW To Win Her OVER 😊. Thanx

  • He called me a scumbag but masked it as a joke smiling and laughing. Another time he called me a silly cow and when I acted shocked he brought it up later saying why did you react shocked to me calling you a silly cow it was only a joke :/ the final turnoff was when he straight up called a dress I had worn at a party horrendous and when I asked why did my body not look nice in it? He said oh err er.. no.. I – I just didn’t like the material of it.

    Fuck off mate 👋🏻 boi bye

  • By sleeping, do you mean just lying down, and going to sleep together in the same bed with his arms around me? Or something else?

  • Two first tests happened to me. I told him tgat it was too easy to hide it with sarcasm. Then, I didn't want to loose my energy responding to an unfinished guy and wining the words battle. I have just stopped talking to him. First and last.

  • Well it's bad news for guy I want after hearing these test. But I did keep my ""virginity" hmmm no sex 7 months lol lol

  • New subscriber. I really wasn’t sure what to expect. It was more of a curiosity. I want to say that I was very pleasantly surprised. This video was really respectful and kind. “Methinks” you are one of the good guys. Nice to see. 🤗

  • Omg so many women equate sex and physical attraction to attention and love. I wish every woman could see this video. I preach these ideals to my online women’s group all the time and in full disclosure, some of it I was guilty of in my youth. I’m def going to share this. Really good stuff.

  • I lost all my chat /love letters from from a man on an app. He is serving in another country. I honestly didn't think I cared about him or was that attached. I held him at arms length. Seeing if he has the stuff. I was crying my eyes out over it. I texted him and told him about it. He freaking called me from the battle camp and sang me the backstreet boys "shape of my heart." He passed my test..

  • Where were you when I was growing up knowing none of this??? 🙂 I hope you speak in schools or where vulnerable girls are so they can learn about boundaries. It also is good hearing it from a man who knows men… or it seems you do. Thanks for sharing your knowledge and not making fools of us.

  • every single one of the 3 tests you mentioned are TRUE. i have experienced them first hand and it has always been that guy who is just wanting to have fun but pretend they are looking for a long term relationship. i got out it and ran fast the opposite way

  • a guy I'm talking to long distance he is in a different country and he said one time that I should convenience him to marry me. Do you think what he said is a red flag?

  • Ironically, if a man tries these tests on me, he has just failed my own tests and isn't worth having around. Even if he told me he was "just testing me," that wouldn't change my response. Because the man I would be interested in would have to have much higher standards than this.

  • Its important not to sleep with a guy right away texting and spending time with them and get to know them better. I have strong connections with a guy I been texting and I really like him he never gets upset with me if I am not comfortable he dont get mad he just gives me my space so I am just friends with him so I am just confused what to do. I guess just take day by day

  • I'm seeing a guy I met online and we had 2 dates. He's still online but he said he's not talking to anyone sense he's been talking to me but I got back on the dating site to see if he's still on there and he seen my profile on there and he said sounds like I'm not sure but I am but I had a bad marriage. My husband cheated, lied, and hit me.

  • Bogus. I want to know, can you care for yourself? Do you make wise decisions? Do you show care for those around you? Can you sustain long term friendships? And finally, will you let me care for you?

  • My boyfriend got lost of interest on our relationship now I want him to get back like before looking forward for your advice Sir.

  • Was talking to a guy. He kept making sexual comments and I would tell him that was too early. Since we hadn't met yet. Still went on a date, and he kept putting his hand on my thigh. I would remove it. After the 2nd time, he told me I didn't want him touching me because I wasn't able to control myself when he did. I told him to stop because it made me uncomfortable when people touched me on the first date. The final time, he told me I needed to stop making MYSELF uncomfortable. And then tried to guilt-trip me. He told me that he could view the fact that he paid for the brunch as me using him, because if it was up to him he would have made food at home. He got annoyed because I told him, "No. I told you I wanted to get brunch and you asked if I wanted company. I offered to pay my half, but you refused. And someone crossing my boundaries is not okay, especially when I have stated multiple times how I was uncomfortable with it." Next time, won't even go on a first date when someone doesn't listen to me saying something is too early, unless they apologize and it doesn't happen again.

  • I have known my whole life that I am a high quality lady and I haven't ever compromised my personal standards with a man and it has worked for me.

  • So the tests are:

    1) Sexual – test by escalating physical touch, getting subtly into your space, & verbal flirtation
    2) Sarcasm – mask at a joke, be aware and make sure not biting into you.
    3) Consideration – Does he treat you with care, consideration, empathetic? Is he self-centered?

    Thank you!

  • I like your video I think that the way your love texting you is important, cause you must to show always respect! To his space, ways to 🤔 think and when someone try to hurts you instead of talking that person have a big problem!

  • A lot of good points. Everyone's daughter should be watching this before they even start dating so they know these things.

  • Well I win #1. No Ring, no fling. I tell him up front. Don't come around then.
    I win #2 red flags. Call him on it the first time. Second time dump him.
    #3 care . Kind, sweet, puppy hugs, calling, texts, sends songs, kisses. Lol got it. Does he really care ….

  • Me an my boyfriend have been knowing each other for ten years an it's has been really great but how can a lady test there guy

  • I noticed a trend in these dating "advice" channels for men and women. Both portray the opposite sex as the enemy. You guys are cancer, you are literally ruining relationships between men and women for your own selfish marketing interests.

  • This video is awesome, I think some of us let men treat us like trash,all because we want some hot sex, but we need to recognize a predator, and we must have values with in our self, and don't let bad habits rule you,, just because you want him, stand up for self values ladies

  • Blah too many games with little benefit in the first world. Most American men seem mentally ill and immature. Either overly aggressive or overly emotional. Not very mentally healthy. Don't forget to tell women how to spot a porn addict.

  • If you meet a amazing guy, how do you know your the right fit for him? Specially when he’s straight out of a fairy tale???

  • Hahahaha. I love testing women… to see how strong or WEAK they are. Heh It's necessary! I don't want to waste my time with a WEAK person! I have no interest in little girls. I desire strong mature fully-fledged women with a strong frame. So ladies, if a man tests you with a little sarcasm don't get offended off the bat and walk away. Just play along. Let me know that you don't let people do that to you or you're completely emotionally unaffected by that and you'll gain my respect.

  • I like this video. I have lost faith in men. All I see are GUYS, no men. Guys look down, see a penis and think that’s what makes them a man. I am a good woman, but have allowed myself to be treated with such utter disrespect, just for a sense of belonging. I’m a giver who now has become so cautious who I give to, that I give to no one! I want to save it for someone who actually cares for me, but where are the men??

  • I just left a man that was verbally and mentally abusive, all he did was insult me. it’s not to be taken lightly ladies, The first time he does it, Leave! Don’t stay and waste your love on him, he’ll only get worse

  • I do consider myself a high value woman but I’m also a survivor of narcissistic parents so in my friendships and in the workplace I’m very quick to call out bullshit. With my family and intimate relationships Ive turned into this other person who is conditioned to be compliant so I won’t be abandoned. I’ve recently learned that it’s worse to abandon myself than be abandoned by losers

  • My best friend always tells me I don't know anything about relationships and yet I passed all the tests with flying colors because I don't like being tested and people overstepping my boundaries. I love intellectual sarcasm but no off putting jokes.

  • My ex and I are talking again and at first I thought that we agreed on starting over slowly bc we moved really fast the first time. I know that we have feelings for each other, but he says that he just doesnt have the time to give me in a relationship right now and he doesnt want to lead me on or have me wait for him. Although I just dont want to give up. I currently have things going on where I won't always be available so I'm trying to determine if I should play the long game. Talking to him maybe here and there, then hanging out without planning because I feel like any time is better than none and this still.shows I'm on his mind

  • Hi, I have been with my bf for 1 yr and we have always had this ex-girlfriend problem in our relationship and he has even compared me to her on several occasions (in the bedroom, in the lounge-room when watching tv, outside doing things, when we went traveling to Weipa together. reckons I did something like her). In the beginning I asked him to remove her photos of Facebook as they were quiet rude (nude) photos of her. I then later found even more naked and sexual photos on his phone of her again. Once again asked him to remove these photos. He hesitated and took him like 6 months in the relationship. He has contacted many other woman since going out with me and recently two weeks ago he contacted his ex-girlfriend (who has moved to NZ and has had a baby with another man) and his comment to her after two years of separation was that his new girl is driving me insane. He is refusing to be my friend on Facebook, but we still share that we are in a relationship together (as a status). I have been upfront with him that I have found out about these other girls via his phone. As he recently was talking to another woman since 8th of July from Tinder. I feel that I am going completely crazy, as he comes across that he still wants me (we had a lovely, awesome weekend together) after I felt that he forgave me about finding out about all these other girls via his phone. So I thought he had forgiven me, however he said to me the other night he just wants to be friends, then says I am still his little lady (his girlfriend- his talk). Then ask if I have been with any other man, and if I have- that is it. I have activated the NO Contact rule with him, after watching so many YouTube videos on how to get my femininity back and other signs that I might be in the wrong, or signs that he might be testing me.. I did a negotiating test two weeks on the guy to see what type of girl he would save if he was in a shipwreck situation and had to pick his ex girlfriend or his new current girlfriend but I describe them as two different woman, to see who he would pick, as I feel that subconsciously he is picking his ex-girlfriend all the time, but in the negotiating test he chose me the conscious person in real life. Then realized that I am the supply in the economics equation and he is the demand and I need to decrease the supply level down for him, so his demand levels go up higher. I have also realized that I have done the pre- selection test in the beginning on his ex-girlfriend and have made the judgement that I do not respect her on any level, so does that mean I do not approve of his past relationships because she was a stripper ? Or because I just do not respect her on any level. Because they didn't really share any nice photos together, or much really on Facebook. But it is like he has her on a on this higher level, than me. When I feel that the time he give me is one night of happiness (or weekend) and the rest of the week its like- yea yeah….So I guess what I am trying to say is that I feel that he has me confused for someone else.

  • This is so weird because the sacarstique test was made to me . (Sorry about my french 😚). And i didnt réalize. The guy i was seeing was making sarcastic jokes to me . But one day he went to far. I explain; i put snapchat on my profil. And for some reason he respond to my story with an « What sup with you » followed with this emoji 😩. And i asked him. What those this mean. I didnt get a reply. The following day at work. ( we work together) .I ask him again because maybe he meant to say something important. But all He said it was « no it nothing , i was a joke. A sarcastic joke. Nothing to be taking seriously ». But you know i was patience and said ; « i never get you sacarstic joke. I found them weird or flat. This time it was personnally offensive. I would appreciate if you didn’t do it again. What you call sarcastic is offense
    ( i explain; when a men send you self doubting question or statement like this one ladies . RUN!!! Fast . It a men that do not have high self esteem. And he his probing and digging to see if you have high self esteem whitin yourself . ). He never did it again and ig he did ; i would have cut all contact. Anyways i that moment i realize he was not dating materiel. And after that he treated me like a queen. Opening all doors , even the car. Paying for my food at the restaurant. Calling me every night. But i love myself too much to be with a man with low self esteem. so ladies . Lead with self love and self esteem and you will pass all m test easily. And yeah sorry for the grammatic error 🥰 .

  • I've been here and I got my lessons..
    So all I have to do is move on and continues living and may the Lord of God will keep me from useless people.

  • I single looking for seriouse relationship i want to meet real life partner i get you i love i like you forever real happy loveing life ..😍😍💑💑💗💗🌷🌷 really

  • Guys, you should read about a thing called Operational Sex Ratio. It’s an evolutionary biology term, basically it’s a ratio of men available for mating to women available for mating. If there is an abundance of men, society plays by female rules (I.e. is focus on ltr and marriage, paternal investment of males in the offspring, etc), if there are more women than men (like in every first-world country now), women have to give up and play by men’s rules, I.e. compete with other females to become as slutty as possible to just get a guy, at least for fwb relationship.
    That’s why we are pressured to “submit” in our society and feel so paranoid about a guy who didn’t even commit to us leaving us, thus are rushing to sleep with him at his first demand.

  • there are men who are sarcastic towards me and I just give the sarcastic answer. they love it… kind of flirty … and we just biting eachother. do not take it seriously

  • Please do a video on women who want to get married but they choose men over 40 who have never married thinking they can change them. Most of them never get married if they haven’t done it by age 40.

  • So, what if the guy is basically AVOIDING physical contact. He allows me to come close and touch him, yet for example he doesn't want me to hug him. He says he couldn't take it. (very slowly approaching each other, clearly interested, he's a very good guy! ) What's it about??

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