Alien Covenant Spoilers Discussion – ANGRY RANT!

all right welcome to the spoilers section for alien covenant I don't know if I should be doing this right now or alone but I'm going to give it a shot so basically the origin of the alien that you discover if I understood it right I mean I've been up for like you know 21 hours or more straight is that David had the Android that was created by Weyland is ultimately the one who created the Xenomorphs michael fassbender created the Xenomorphs and then they spread across the galaxy because of the ending cliffhanger in Alien Covenant I don't like this I don't like this you have to be a huge fan of Michael Fassbender you know and then maybe you like it uh I will give it this it's an interesting idea that an Android is something that humans create has a hand in the creation of the alien species and that we know today as Xenomorphs but I preferred it as this sort of mixture of alien creature and a space jockey technology or mass destruction device you know bio weapon that's what I liked and and this whole perfect organism and then eventually the organism itself evolved to the perfect point in the high mentality in the Queen and the Xenomorphs and the Royal Guard and the royal jelly and everything that I love about the Alien franchise was due to the aliens you know progressing themselves and making themselves no problem no that's not it Michael Fassbender engineered them to look exactly the way we saw in alien and aliens no Ridley no why did you do this I don't understand what happened it's as if Ridley Scott fell in love like he had a bromance he fell in man love he wanted to be Michael Fassbender's girlfriend Hey he wants to do the guys attractive he's a good actor but he became so enamored with them that he's like I am going to make this character central to the alien lore so central that he's a god he is literally a God in alien lore now David and I just I hate this whole I hate it and you know you've got a cool Android battle in the film where Walter this terrible southern accent that Michael Fassbender puts on I can't quite nail it but you know he's the Android that goes along with the covenants crew because every good crew needs an Android which is a funny line that they say but you know he eventually fights David when they realize that David has gone fucking insane he kills Elizabeth Shaw you don't see her in the film the only place you see Elizabeth Shaw is in pictures and and her dead carcass with her chest burst completely open look more like a dissection rather than a chest burst I don't know what this is meant to imply I don't know what exactly he used Elizabeth Shaw for when there's no xenomorph out in the world yet what came out of it Elizabeth Shaw are they implying that maybe somehow she's the queen that would be fuckin cool but no that's not the direction he goes in that you know that David creates her to be the queen prototype no that actually would have been cool I just came up with that enough a second and it's cooler than what's in the goddamn film I don't know what the hell is going on here and he's got posters of fucking facehuggers everywhere so so it was David that created facehuggers you know and then he manipulated the the gray goo that we saw the alien goo that we saw from Prometheus he's manipulated that in this film in order to create aliens encoded in order to create xenomorphs I I don't know man it's just so they kill off Elizabeth Shaw making you know Prometheus feel a little pointless at least in an insulting way she could have had more to do or maybe flashbacks or something where she's battling David or something that would have been a cool conclusion but knows he's killed off like Ripley an alien 3 in a dumb way and mmm but yet she returns to reprise her role in a YouTube video alien covenant prologue it's 2 minutes 41 seconds long on YouTube and she's actually acting as her character and and and that makes this film feel even dumber because David forms a relationship with her she repairs him she takes care of him and he's you know fallen in love again and he likes her but I guess that just then they fucking flip that switch again and oh no David went crazy again don't everyone crazy in the first film Oh guess what David went crazy again that's why I said the whole fucking thing is a retread because it's just a retread that's all it is and then we got to have Walter the Android fight David the Android and Android and Android synthetic synthetic Android let's learn how to play the flute Android Android this Android dad and then where they have this battle and then they cut the scene right before when one reaches for a knife the other one looks at the other one the other one looks at the other one who's going to win cut and then later on in the film they and you know Walter shows up on the ship nobody bothers to fucking check to see if it's Walter or David even though they look exactly alike which is bullshit no way he was able to cut his hair exactly like that using scissors to look exactly like Walter fucking bullshit and plus I thought that Walter was able to regenerate his skin or repair it and then I guess that was a wrong notion because she you know Daniels character starts to repair fucking you know David and doesn't even notice that he's fucking David so fucking stupid so then you know at the end of the film Danny McBride's character and the Daniels character is survives you know you see the promo material towards you see the trailers towards the end where they're running around he hands are the gun and they're going around like that so they survive they go into cryo sleep so that they could go to the original fucking planet they were supposed to go to anyway hopefully pointless detour or the smart scientist what had just gone to the correct place not this random place but anyway you wouldn't have a movie otherwise so he puts him to sleep and then she realizes right then this from asking him about this cabin she mentioned to him before and David doesn't know about the cabin because you know he's not Walter he's David and he starts smiling and she realized uh and then he goes and he goes and he knows it and he's got two thousand colonists and a bunch of embryos and then he does the most ridiculous thing he starts to regurgitate fucking facehuggers but not in the cool way we're like fuckin you know they're spider crawling out it was mal like a face hugger or even a baby face like her no it's done in the stupidest way it's a little face hugger in the fucking crystal gem it's like a gem face it's like fucking Power Ranger coins come out of his mouth and it is impossibly small face huggers that I don't even know can properly what's the use of the fucking egg income via income via income incubating the goddamn face bugger to normal-sized functional size where it can face up somebody if we could just live in this fucking little gel I I don't know whatever so then he puts these little fucking crystals of the face hookers in the same slots where the human embryos are at haha this is how eventually the xenomorph spread across the galaxy perhaps they go to this planet they break out and now the xenomorph soar across the galaxy or i don't know they desperately want ridley desperately wants to do this new trilogy and give us a third fucking film which is probably going to be the most uninteresting of the three because this premise sucks at this point and you've taken away the purity and the mystery and the fucking badassness that the aliens earned themselves is degraded because it's all been created by Michael Fassbender he's a god ah as you could tell as an aliens and a xenomorph fan I hate this explanation it's now canon Ridley Scott has made this canon this what you get when you when Fox puts it in complete control I have this bad feeling you know a lot of Neal Blanc off to continue the alien storyline with Ripley and conclude her story conclude Hicks and Newt and that's what exactly what they were going to do we were going to see perhaps an alien queen on earth or we were going to visit the alien homeworld we don't get any of that shit anymore now Ridley Scott is fucked that up I mean I guess you could still have an alien homeworld because eventually the Queen appears and then Jen and they're on a homeworld and maybe this is the alien homeworld that they're alluding to it crashes and fucking David's hanging out there somewhere but you never see him you know that's what I can hope for is that in the future here's what I want you've had your you've had your you know free reign with it Ridley Scott and with the directions that you chosen you wanted to go space jockeys I was interesting in Prometheus and then he said fuck the space jockeys I'm gonna kill them all off because in this film David drops a fucking nuclear bomb basically all the alien goo on all the space jockeys on their homeworld and they all fucking die apparently all the super advanced fucking star faring rains that create bio weapons in this way and can create life are all stupid enough to gather into one goddamn area so that fucking David can drop alien goo on them and they all fucking die they're all perish apparently every single one was in that fucking courtyard stupid as hell so fucking stupid and and at what they don't have a fucking counter to this thing I mean I guess that's supposed to be the point that they created the thing that wiped them out but it's no they didn't wipe themselves out it was David they're wiping out he gets the honor Michael Fassbender gets that honor too he creates the Xenomorphs wipes out the space jockeys is also humanity's ultimate creation an alien should just be renamed David David Covenant David David's David Freese you know David resurrection that's it's gonna be now god damn it pronates david promesa david damnit ridley or your writers maybe wasn't really swami uses writers and just went along with it no you're the director you should have squash that idea okay so let's talk about the proto more so the proto morphs you know so the alien life cycle i don't know what the fuck is going on there they've completely fucked the alien life cycle so when he creates so you see the gray goop is now in airborne form it was it would always turn in the airborne form if it interacts with the air but we didn't see that in in prometheus but here you know that little sporty steps on that's the same goo as we saw in liquid form in prometheus apparently maybe just older now and it turns into that and so then it kind of forms and floats like it's sentient or some goes in people's ears goes in people's noses because nobody wears a fucking helmet in this film okay i mean that's just that's Prometheus logic being carried over and then nobody says anything that's again or trope logic being carried over you could you could make something smart you can do the same exact thing but write it so that audiences you know understand it or have that you know suspension of disbelief so oh god I just ingested this oh fuck let's run back to the ship and then create all the drama there he's still not able to get back in the ship at time you can do that instead of doing the stupid fucking wardrobes that just make it even more insulting like why did he fucking do that you didn't need to do that anyway so these they burst out this time if you if you smell a little bit of the alien goo it creates a xenomorph let's call them proto morphs so what that does is it makes the Xenomorphs less special it makes a xenomorph feel like a step backwards in in a in terms of alien technology or bio weapon technology if you consider them bio weapons the a these perfect organism that we know now is it's perfect than the original that the space jockey gue creates on its own because it's vulnerable in the alien lifecycle in the chest burster but they hand wave chest burster cycle away in this film I'll tell you about that in a second but let's focus on the proto morphs or the neo more so I thought they were going to be the Neo mores that we saw at the end but it's kind of not it is they look slightly different they're slightly smaller they look like little monkeys and little lemurs then they they move real fast and these things you know they could take fucking 15 bullets they can take BOTS like there should be sections of them that explode with these bullets that are shot at them and then though there's still – you know – – you know arrived here and there was still – at the end they couldn't do much damage to it oh there there there's one at the end because he actually does shoot the fucking shit out of it the captain and be these things grow taller they look like they grow more powerful than Xenomorphs so it makes the Xenomorphs feel less special is what I'm trying to get at but the scenes of the back burster and and all this blood and gore and the body just falling backwards and the thing falling out of it that shit was cool that was how was the reason that was alien that was alien stuff and that's like the only good stuff here is the facehuggers you know the way the facehuggers move so how they explain the differences between these two types is eventually you know David leads the captain into an area on his own and he's showing him the eggs and this is after basically the captain shot one of his one of the Neil morphs that David was trying to communicate with like they have mouths when they get mad but then they have no mouths when they don't get mad and and if you pause it the CGI on the mouth looks so fucking stupid on these neon horses a lot of the CGI was kind of weaker you know especially on the xenomorph itself on these video monitors and that threw me off but anyway so it brings the new captain into because we've had three captain's in this room here it's the second captain into the egg chamber he got the eggs I don't know how he created the eggs by hand and what how does the Queen factor in here I would okay and then the facehuggers come out and it's a great fucking scene and they're shooting the facehuggers any you know refers sucker gets on the captain they shoot the facehuggers later and from the captain almost immediately this chest presser cycle just happened like this what the fuck is supposed to gestate for a little while that's a cool creative thing that they had in all the films and even alien resurrected like the coolest part is you can use it offensively against people because you become immune to bullets you know and if you could control it like that work that with glasses did in resurrection it's kind of cool but no a fucking pops immediately basically and instead of going to your dog chest burster two little dog alien to you know fully grown warrior it just immediately starts fucking going and it's like a little puppet he looks like a little puppet and what makes it even more puppet light as david is all like ah and the little puppet mimics in what the fuck is it mimicking him dailies have never shown his behavior and the alien never shows that behavior again ever I you know I guess somehow the alien knows that David is its creator he put it into its mind and programming are they robots what the fuck instead of immediate and I understand he's not going to attack the Android but mimicking the Android and singing me androids daddy I don't know I don't think so suddenly a in the xenomorph it gets loose he turns into a xenomorph maybe this is a different type of xenomorph a prototype a you know patient zero xenomorph so he's slightly different he could skip through his life cycle that's the only explanation though I hate it but in the film he's just not really that big of a threat then the last third of the film completely doesn't 180 it changes directions from this Prometheus stuff into you know like I said Allah you so it looks exactly like aliens and it's got the premise of alien where they're doing the corridor thing and they're doing the ship they try to vary it up with her going outside the ship linking herself to a little fucking roping and fighting it on the outside but if I mean of all the aliens in the film this was the least scary I was scared of the facehuggers and the neo morphs and and the you know fucking shit popping out of bodies and that's a damn shame and they just throw in the shower scene completely unnecessary you know they like to do this sort of sexual tension thing from time to time in the aliens but this is just dumb Friday the 13th kind of crap it could have been done better I'm not saying the premise of the shower scene is dumb but it is what it could have been done better and fuck man they just do a poor job of everything in the film like even the very beginning they do a poor job of letting the audience know or mass audiences know that the father of David that he's talking to is Weyland you know because he doesn't have all the old makeup and they never you know translate these to in fact that actor who plays you know Weyland they cut his scene where he was young and he was normally the way he looks and in prometheus he's nothing but the old man so you don't really know who that guy is except for like one mention later on in the film in passing and you know as a general audience I know he was but it's just everything's poorly explained the the characters you know all that great stuff on YouTube where they're laughing and having fun and setting up character traits is ripped from the film none of that is in the film like I said destiny syndrome here if you want to enjoy the film you got to go look at all the YouTube stuff first and you know that's not how things should work you don't know who who's whose wife that's also you know not really set up so just throwing that in there you know the couples thing feels completely contrived and wasted if they really didn't you know and set that up properly except for Danny and Danny but bride's wife and and Danny being on the ship while she's on the surface and she gets fucked and and killed off and Danny's always asking about her and it's like and then he and then he takes it pretty well the news of his wife's dying he fucking takes it super well he showed more concern before he knew she was dead he takes it super well and by the end of the film he's making jokes or he's laughing yeah yeah you know him and Daniels are fucking joking around like nothing happened like their whole crew hasn't been murdered they're just fucking having a laugh or they're just fucking you know and he goes to fucking sleep and oh this Android we didn't even bother checking to see if it was Walter or David I know they look exactly alike and we said to ourselves many times we can't let David leave this planet and man and anger beard called it that this planet that they go to you know was the planet that was the you know space Jokke homeworld that they were going to at the end of Prometheus he called it and it turned out to be correct but they don't do anything with that we don't see any ships we you know we don't see any I mean that's a small ass fucking city so hopefully they're spilt still space jockeys elsewhere that that other directors and and helmsman can can you know look into but but how do the Predators like what the fuck the aliens you know so the aliens were created by David but that fucks the timeline in everything because you know the Predators are supposed to be fighting these aliens for thousands of years but I guess know therefore they've just been fighting them recently or no they just ignored AVP is what they did I mean I don't really consider you know a VP super Canon because those films are kind of shit too so whatever but it fucks the floor in the timeline for certain what do I want to see since we're talking spoilers and on all this what do I want to see well III you know there also there was a guy mister H reviews on YouTube you should check out his content it's awesome he does lore stuff on aliens and things and though he probably likes alien covenant films going to give him a lot more material to go through at the very least but but I don't like it but but he had some videos on on possibly there being two factions of you know space jockeys the creators and the destroyers and I was looking forward to seeing some of that in this film or hints of it no hints of it as far as we know there's only one faction of fucking space jockeys and they're idiots and they just got killed by one person because they all gathered in one fucking area I mean you gotta you got to drop some hints here and drop anything here for people that want to fix the lore and fix what Ridley Scott is is doing especially after what he did here in Alien covenant so anyway check out some of his videos and maybe we'll you know you can kind of watch this clean or make up excuses Mass Effect indoctrination theory style for how the lore has now changed and maybe there can be some good things that come out of it but I don't like it what would I rather see I want to see you know maybe get rid of it get rid of Ridley Scott that's not happening but I he hand waved away all the space jockeys and now he's just going to go full-on with fucking Michael Fassbender's David character which I don't want I'd rather have explored the space jockeys more explored the reasoning for wanting to destroy humanity maybe have humanity verse space jockeys and kind of create space jockeys as the threat instead of the Xenomorphs or in addition to the Xenomorphs or maybe humanity uses the Xenomorphs on the space jockeys there's so many different things you can do you you can do I want an eel bong coughs alien five I want the conclusion of Ripley story I want the conclusion to Hicks's story a newt story not the fucking alien 3 shit I wanted him to fix a in threes disappointing you know killing off of the characters you know and get us maybe an alien queen on earth or maybe us going to the alien home planet and the very the least thing you can say about alien coming in is maybe it's setting up an alien home planet with with David going over there with 2,000 colonists but hopefully this planet has a lot more people than that so that you know there could be a ton of fucking aliens running around on that planet I don't know how the Queen's factored in I guess David engineers the Queen later command-c it just bugs on the Lord and then or maybe I'd love to see high Bohr is a comic where they had black aliens versus red aliens different queens fighting each other and then somehow throw in you know colonial marines and having to work together with the Predators you know sort of a kind of a cool relationship the comics has always had this sort of you know antihero thing with the Predators or they're fighting the humans and they realized that the humans you know could help them against the aliens or they get fucked and now they have to work together as rivals and whose people are going to come first the Predators people or the humans people to back them up once they get rid of the alien menace and they look at each other and I mean it's just so fucking cool but uh I don't know if they'll be able to get it right but I know Fox wants to because they want this to be their Star Wars they want this to be their you know Harry Potter and Marvel Universe but I don't know Ridley Scott is really good at the visuals but he needs help on the story side and the screenplay side and the character side everything side except for the visuals and music alright guys so that's my opinion and leave your opinion in the comments and yeah I'll see you guys on the next hangar Joe show bye

33 thoughts on “Alien Covenant Spoilers Discussion – ANGRY RANT!

  • David used the engineer's plan to create the aliens with the black goo and due to that they constantly evolve. So David did use engineer technology. And the xenomorph is not a xenomorph it is a protomorph and hasnt evolved yet, it's not like the one in alien at all it still needs to evolve. I heard that alien awakening is gonna focus on the engineers and they find their world and the species they created on paradise destroyed. And the race on paradise are not engineers, they where a race created be engineers.

  • What about the xenomorph on the wall in the “just another tomb” from Prometheus? I still think the aliens predate the space jockeys. Maybe even answering Shaw’s question, “who created them?” Also, a lot of your problems are similar to the original Alien movies. The crew of the Nostromo respond to a signal in Alien, no one wears a helmet after the planet is tera-formed in Aliens and the new xenomorph at the end of Resurrection has a childlike approach to Ripley. Nostalgia has a funny way of blurring the lines of criticism.

  • But the face hugger is able to get through helmets XD I think the main improvement that David added to it is its armour. And to reiterate i really don't think we can say that David created the xenomorphs at all – he was just tinkering – like how we tinker with DNA today. We did not create it. *sorry that all these comments are two years late…

  • and my two cents on why they didn't send robots first before living colonist = time and money. It takes years for interstellar travel to happen so i guess people go greedy and decided to forgo precautions. Fortune favours the bold, so they say…

  • I think one good reason why they take off their helmets is because of oxygen supply. Of course, they probably got complacent because they trust their atmosphere sensors too much, but it is a consideration. Extra oxygen on board the ship = extra weight = a lot more cost.

  • We don't know how the "engineer" social structure is like. For all you know they might have a very stratified social structure and the architects who fly around in space are seen as gods by the rest of the "engineers".

  • There's still the mystery of the black goo itself. Fassbender was just experimenting with it but he didn't actually design the goo.

  • Let us thank Ozymandias and the gods of Valhalla that Ridley Scott didn't fuck up Blade Runner 2049 and that the movie did meh on theaters. At least that property is now safe from the crazy old man.

  • The question is if Alien Covenant is worse then Resurrection and Alien 3?
    I'd put Resurrection above Covenant since it can be silly fun and brought Ripley back.
    Though better then Alien 3 since Alien 3 messed up the lore of Aliens while Covenant just messed up Prometheus

  • aliens is dead to me!
    i only see the 1st and 2nd as lore rest of them are parody's! jokes! epic fails!! but i will all ways have the first 2 🙂

  • Making the android the creator of the xenomorphs is far too easy an option. I would have preferred that they just evolved out of nowhere. To de-mystify this story is to wreck this story. The horror manifest in the original film was primarily due to the ancient mystery of the xenomorphs and the engineers. I would like to see the horror brought back but I now think that's impossible.

  • This movie is insulting for every true Alien fan, i will never get how any so-called fan is able to like that garbage, it's not only garbage regarding Alien origin, it's garbage on almost all levels of movie making, nothing is really making any sense.

  • It's strange how Prometheus has a lot of important plot points and tie-ins, but honestly when I went to go see the movie, I didn't even know it was part of Alien franchise

  • timetable is totally fucked, alien takes place less than 40 years after prometheus
    if you remember right, it was said in prometheus that their ship was the first to journey so far and first to use all this new technology that needed massive funding
    so we go from prometheus to alien in less than 40 years and humanity has become so spread out that their is a need for interstellar tow trucks

    all directors have their shit films and their good ones but usually not both types in the same franchise
    the only reason I can come up with is that scotts head just isn't in the right place after his brothers suicide (not trying to be humorous – it really did happen and he was the director of top gun)

  • Wasn't the implication that he turned her into the egg sacks? Because her hands were missing so presumably they were used to make the first facehuggers.

  • The Xenomorph mural in Prometheus pretty much explains that with the black goo, you’ll get a Xenomorph in some form if the Goo is used without restrain. David just made it into an extreme by experimenting with it.

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