Andrew Wommack – Strife in Marriage – (New Message 2018)

Andrew Wommack ministries presents this message titled strife in marriage we pray that the Word of God will come alive in your heart as you listen that's time with a book of James chapter 3 and what I'd like to Minister on this evening it could be very very very important to everyone on it everything that's been said has been overlapping you noticed I've been referring to what rich and teen have said and they referred to what I've said and we've been hitting all around all of these different subjects this is something that has already been said but it needs to be explained most of us don't really understand why there's the response within us to circumstances the way that we should one thing that Tina was saying boy that just really hit home I was trying to say this today but I don't think I said it as good as she did I don't sure I can repeat it again but anyway it was along the lines of regardless of what your mate chooses at this marriage seminar you don't have to go home and be the same your marriage doesn't have to be the same because your marriage is not dependent on what your mate does it's depending on what you do circumstances do not dictate to you your response you can choose your response you can choose whether you want to walk in victory and whether you want to leave this place with a renewed marriage and I mean the things we're talking about are inner qualities and personality personality things it won't only affect your marriage it will affect your relationship with your with the Lord with other people with every area of your life you can choose to leave here a changed person if you'll take hold of some of these things we're talking about now what I'd like to share on the day is just some practical things about what is it in me that causes this reaction of strife why is it then I operate this way instead of operating in God's kind of love why is it that it seems to be easier to operate in strife and in the carnal things and it is to operate the things of God I'd like to preface this and I could teach on this for a long period of time but I'll just say this very quickly I'd like to say I've got some tapes in title spirit soul and body parts 1 & 2 that will explain this and much other tapes that will go into it but when you got born again you don't any longer have anything within you that compels you or makes you sin it's like we've been saying it's a choice that you have and most of us have been making the wrong choice when you got boring in that old nature that old sin men was taken out of you and now the only reason that we are the way we are is because of a nun removed mind the fact that we haven't changed our thinking and I liken this to like a computer computers are neither good or bad all they are is a piece of machinery and that computer isn't any smarter than the person that programs it that computer can't do anything on its own like my mother we have a computer in my office building and she lives in it used to be a hotel and she's got four of the rooms that she's converted into her own living quarters and she lives up there and this computer is in that building and she likes to keep the door locked and stay out of there she won't go in the same room my mother just has this old-fashioned idea that computers are inherently evil that there's something demonic about computers but you know a computer is not easy good or bad it can't do anything above or beyond what it's programmed to do but a computer will continue to function exactly the way its program until you reprogram it and it's the same thing with our mind our thinking our decision-making ability is neither good or bad but it we will function exactly the way we've been programmed to function and the reason I say this is because when you got born again that part of you that compels you to sin is no longer within you there is no longer any demonic part lost part of you that compels you to sin why then does it seem like we're so prone to sin why is it seems like if we're given an option half at the time or more will choose the wrong like Tina was reading about in Romans chapter 7 rather than the right it's because of a nun renewed mine we were all programmed by the devil how to be self-centered how to operate and selfishness we've been programmed now to do things until it just becomes like a first nature unto us and until we reprogram ourselves by the Word of God we will continue to function the way that we were trained to function now you can see this in the area of child training and I'm not sure if I'll get to child training or if Jamie minestrone during this session or not we really need to because that's a vital part of marriage but I we've got three tapes back there on the subject of child training that you could take and I promise you your children can be nothing but a blessing to you they do not have to be a terror the Bible says that they're a blessing it's a blessing of the Lord man if you want to get blessed have children not everybody has that kind of attitude but that's what it can be through the Lord but anyway in the area of children I see sometimes people to say why are my children like this why are they doing these kind of things and they get upset like those children just on their own chose to be this way your children are exactly what you have made them to be or what you've allowed them to be in there are no exceptions to that and that may be tithing some people my own brother I just don't like that you're saying that I'm responsible that's exactly what I'm saying your child will be exactly what you make them to be or what you allow them to be now you may not consciously be allowing it you may not understand but not taking the authority and taking the spiritual authority over them and praying over them disciplining them correctly you can train your children to do something wrong and it's actually you that did it an example of what I'm going to give a quick example before we get into James 3 but an example of what I'm talking about is that many times in an effort to train your children we use this negative motivation that I was talking about before where we instill fear in them rather than love there is a period of time where you use fear a fear of the rod as a motivation but that's only a temporary measure the way Galatians chapter 3 talks about as soon as we can become sons we are supposed to have a higher form of motivation than that and you have to from the day one begin to start weaning your children away from doing things just out of fear and instill the proper values in them and make sure they're doing things out of love for God but anyway when a child is young and say for instance you're wanting a child that quit sucking his thumb I've seen this happen so many times if people will try and tell them though they'll discipline them if the child continues on because it's become a habit because they've been trained to do it parents you know you if you don't want your children to suck your thumb you don't have to ever let that happen alright kids it's let me say there's nothing wrong with sucking your thumb but we just chose that we weren't gonna go through that problem with our kids and did you know we never started them sucking their thumbs it'd never suck their thumbs everyone and they neither one of them emotionally disturbed upset or anything else all right you don't have to have a child sucking his thumb lots of that we started because it's easier on us than demon with them just to hand them a pacifier or something else and we instill these things in them but many times so anyway a child at sucking his thumb and also you want to break them of it you tell them no you spank them and they got this ingrained habit in them I've seen parents many times refer to things like saying well you're nearly old enough to start into school water your friends are gonna say when you start school and you're sucking your thumb they're gonna call you a sissy nobody likes a sissy you don't want to be a sissy do you don't you want to be like everybody else does your friends do they suck their thumbs probably every last one of you have used that kind of rationale sometime another correct and children whether it's on that or if it's potty training them or if it's talking about them just being obnoxious sometime you know kids talk don't know when to shut up if you ever said nobody likes to be around a smart aleck nobody likes beer have somebody just all they do is talk all the time you're obnoxious have you ever done things like that you know what you're doing without understanding it you may have got compliance in a certain situation but underneath that you use peer pressure to motivate your children you told them the most important thing is being like everybody else don't you want to be like everybody else if you aren't like everybody else you're gonna be weird nobody will be like want to be like you did you know that that's how come a little child is uninhibited they'll dance before the Lord they'll shout they'll lift their hands they'll praise God and most of us had to go through a traumatic experience to be able to do it you know why because we had it instilled in us somewhere down the line why are people going to think about you and it may have got compliance but the overall effect of it was negative we trained we were trained negatively by negative motivation I was at a Christian school in Kansas City that has over five hundred children in that school it's become the largest field that has nearly a thousand now it's the largest Christian school in the whole state of Kansas and this school principal was up introducing me and talking about praise God Christian education which I agree man I'm 100% for that's I was administered on all day but he was I'm for Christian education and he was saying praise God for positive peer pressure he and he showed me a brochure and on their brochure they listed the benefits of Christian education and one office politics peer pressure in other words everybody at that school wants to do what's right so you take a pad didn't put him in there because the peer pressure you start doing what's right because he wants to be accepted let's do it doesn't it but did you know that you're still teaching people to be motivated by public opinion in what Tina's talking about they didn't have an identity of their own they didn't have a value system they did whatever the majority was nothing is long as they're in a good majority right but you take those same kids you use that public I mean that Christian school then to import positive peer pressure and the moment they get drafted or nowadays they don't get drafted to go into the service or whatever and they get in the negative peer pressure situation you'll find that same training leads those kids into drugs into sexual experiences outside of marriage and etcetera etcetera etc and many times Christians are the ones that it drilled that in their kids and we can't understand why our children where they are they're exactly the way we pray them to be they're exactly like the girl comes home and she's pregnant the Christian parent says why would you do something like this we've talked you better and the girls said but everybody does it what people that people think of me if I want to mark them I want to be accepted in the Christian pair why do you care so much about what other people think because since they were one-year-old you've been drilling it in oh don't you want to be like everybody else if you want to being on ball don't want to be excessive now that's what I'm saying we have been trained wrong you may not even recognize that but we were enforcing negative things in our children because that's what we were training like Rifkin Phoenix they were passing the same thing right on where it's still in the same things in our children so the reason we respond the way we do is not because we have to when you got born again you were liberated these are sets you free and praise God you do not have to be anything other than what Jesus wants you to be there is not a devil in hell that make you be anything other than victorious there's no devil that can make your marriage be anything less than what God wants it to be if your marriage is what God wants it to be you cannot push it off on circumstances and things it is a choice a bad choice that's been made by us it's the way we've been trained and we're sharing the good news with you that praise God you can change that choice you can choose to be exactly what God wants you to be you can choose to love when everything within you says hate retaliate you can operate in love you can choose to do that you the buck stops here and you can't blame it on somebody else amen all right so what is it that makes us do that it's this wrong training just like a computer we've been programmed wrong and we're continuing to operate run because we haven't taken the time to get into God's Word and find out the truths that will reprogram us and make us different amen you know just like when you button the shirt you put that shirt on and you don't even think about blood buttoning your shirt or blouse anymore because it's something that you learned how to do when you first learned it it was hard you probably got them out of sequence they were all crooked and everything like that but now you can button your shirt or your blouse not even think about it because it's just become nearly a reaction your program that's something that you can just operate in automatically did you know God never made any of you to operate in a temper that is not your personality that is an acquired part of your personality or it's either something demonic that was given to you one of the two either way you can get set free up God did not make you that way it's because of a series of long training and wrong choices of the chui that you're the way you are and we're going to take the Word of God today and show you some things it will renew your mind and help you to choose against that and choose to walk in love all right here in James chapter 3 in verse 13 it says who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you let him show out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom but if he have bitter envying and strife in your hearts glory not and lie not against the truth this is what we've been saying through this seminar it doesn't matter what you've learned it doesn't matter what show of wisdom that you have doesn't matter your position in the church it doesn't matter your ministry that you have how many people you lead to the Lord it doesn't matter anything if you have bitter envying and strife in your hearts if your home is not reflecting the life of God don't glory and lie against the truth don't sit there and say that man the anointing of God is resting on your life because I promise you your home is a more accurate representation of what your spiritual condition is then your ministry than your relationship with other people than anything else so don't glory and lie against the truth if you have bitter envying and strife in your hearts this wisdom descendeth not from above but is earthly sensual devilish and sensual many times we apply that to gross sexual misconduct and all of these kind of things and that does apply but the word sensual literally means of the five senses he says that if you have bitter envying and strife in your heart your emotion ruled exactly what we were talking about earlier when we were talking about that love is a decision not an emotion so your sensual and deadly Satan operates through the senses in verse 16 for we're in viña and strife is there is confusion and every evil work now that scripture out there is a strong scripture where envy and strife is there's confusion and the Bible says in 1st Corinthians chapter 14 that God is not the author of confusion but of peace so Satan is the author of confusion this is talking about when you're operating and envying and strife you're operating in Satan's Kingdom there is envy and strife confusion and every evil work now water evil works sickness is an evil work poverty is an evil work depression is an evil work loneliness on and on you could go off anything negative anything that's not part of the abundant life that the Lord Jesus Christ promised us is an evil work and it's a it's farm safe the Bible says that every evil work is present we're envying and strife is now I can't think of any other Scripture and the Word of God that says something that's that inclusive did you know giving is important but if you don't give it doesn't open up the door to every evil work it may hinder you in the financial realm or something like that but it doesn't open up a door to every evil work did you know going out ministering to people is important and if you don't do that it may hinder you and on and on you to go with the list of things if you don't pray prayer is important man how many officer turned on the intercession man we intercede and intercede intercede and yet operating staff and sit there are stressing the importance of prayer and letting staff run rampant in our homes as some people that are in the ministry man we've got to go out and reach the wall it's too late The Times too short we got to reach the wall there in to reach in the world and they don't understand that operating in strife here's a thousand times more deadly more detrimental than not going out and reaching the world the Bible says we're Indian and staff is there is confusion and every evil work I talked to some people there is an example of a group in I won't give the name of the town but I had just gone to this church it was a brand new word type of church and they were preaching faith and the people were still new in it there was an excitement but there was still also questions about it they had an instance where there was a boy that got shot in the head and he went into a coma the church began to stand in agreement and pray and I mean he was supposed to have been dead within seconds he got to the hospital was still alive and then they put him on these respirators they took the respirator off and he still left for over a month and he just looked like he was coming out of it everything was fine two days before I got there they had the boys funeral he just latched and died and the church was in turmoil about men what happened I thought we were standing in faith and believing God for this healing and why didn't God him and the whole church was in turmoil over and so I came into that situation so I had two or three lunches with the parents of this child trying to talk to them and minister to him and basically what I was sharing was look I don't know exactly where the problem is but I promise you this it was God's will to heal him and if it didn't work it wasn't the fact that God didn't healing it there's there's a good reason for it somewhere I didn't know where it was but I just kept talking to finally after talking to him always did you know that they had so much strife in that home that they had talked about getting a divorce the man and wife had already decided that they were going to get a divorce they hadn't done anything about it but they had talked about it and we're headed in that direction the morning that this boy got shot the mother had an argument with the son and said just get out of my house and don't come home the boy was experiencing so much rejection he broke the rules of school he was not supposed to leave the school grounds went home with the friend and they were playing around and this friend was a very ungodly boy and he was he was over there smarting off and he loaded a gun and put it to this guy's head and shot him and then they wondered why they didn't see manifestation of these things it was bathed in strife and hatred and the Bible says we're ending in strife is there's confusion and every evil work we need to wake up and recognize it look we can't come to church and try and grow in the area of faith and healing and prosperity etc and let our marriages go to pot and wonder why we aren't seeing more happen there's a lot of us that we've got more faith than it takes to get healed but we aren't healed not because we don't believe in healing because we don't know how to confess the word it's because of the levels of strife and hatred in our heart I've seen people at our services with lice all the one time that had her hands up just worshiping God and praising God and her little kid was pulling on her coat tail saying mama mama and this lady shut up I'm praising God boy just go back home and then they wonder why they aren't penetrated why is it that it doesn't seem like I'm able to communicate and get through you don't treat a dog that way you know the Bible talks about that an evil man is cruel to his Beast you know the way you treat your animals reflects your relationship with God you know treating dog that way much less a child or your wife or something else there's some of you that talk to your family talk to your mates talk to your children and tones of voice that if you were to say something like that to me I guarantee you would be embarrassed over it we need to wise up to watch strife this staff is not only when you lose your temper and get mad punch somebody in the nose rich and Tina are a good example what she was sharing this have enriched was a time they would lose his temper but I'm like Tina I'm the kind I can't tell you the last time I got mad I don't think my family has ever seen me mad high school is probably the last time I ever got mad enough lost my temper I got in a fight one time and a guy nearly killed me before I got mad enough to fight back I mean literally he had me down on the ground and it finally was fight or die one of the two and that's the only thing that motivated me I'm just an easygoing guy I don't get mad and I don't lose my temper but boy do i salt boil can I get into self-pity and I guarantee that is strife that is anger I can I can do a world of damage without ever saying a word and you have you ever seen that in your made did you know that that's strife you need to recognize that strife comes in many different forms many different packages but the end result of it is that it gives place to every evil work I had a friend of mine that in a vision saw this vision now to give this real quick but he was in an old barn you could see through the slats in the barn and in the barn was this pure white sheet on a bed I mean it was just perfectly clean this bed was sitting right in the middle of the barn nothing else around and he was sitting on the bed and he woke up in this barn was looking around he saw three snakes coming to him and these three snakes were a cobra a rattlesnake and a copperhead and they were just coming in unison like this their heads like this just across the bar right up to him and so he got off the bed ran in shed that was beside the barn found this ol hole there and he came back jumped on the bed and he snakes right up there and he swung that hole and hit one and it just bounced off on black rubber and he couldn't get hold was so dull it wouldn't chop their head or do anything so he ran back in his shed and found one of these old grinders that you pump it with your foot you know and it's the wheel that turned and he was in there shopping in this hole just too fast as he could so you go back in there and fight those snakes and while I did it this drunk woman came in and just fell all over him and she's drunk and she was drunk on the spirit talking about this great miracle the move of God going on down the street and saying you've got to come to this revival man the power of God's in manifestation and Joe was saying no no I've got to get this whole sharp I got to go in there and kill those snakes anyway the interpretation of it later on as it went on was that many people are caught up in going and seeing all of the great things of God and experiencing the excitement and stuff but very few people are dealing with these root causes these snakes that are in people's lives we're caught up in all of the exterior and man he couldn't do it he had to get back in there after he sharpened that hoe he came back in boy just cut their heads off with one way and instantly the Lord showed him the names of those snake and the first one was strike anyway this illustrates the point that I'm talking about strife opens up a door to every evil work strife is just like having like a king cobra in your house I guarantee you the evil works that strife opens up the door to are a thousand times worse than having a king cobra living in your house now there's some of you women and I guarantee you would not tolerate a snake in your house for one second you wouldn't live that way I mean you would put your foot down and say this is it I don't care what you say I don't care what situation is I'm in this snake aren't staying in this house together one of the twos leaving you wouldn't tolerate that and yet we will tolerate strife in our family and think that it's normal that it's natural you'll allow your children to argue back and forth and just tolerate levels of strife and not even correct the thing thinking well they're just kids it's not normal for kids to be at each other's throats it may be typical but that is not the way God intended it to be and if you allow that strife in your home did you know that the rebellion we see in the teenage years was in the one in two year old children it simply wasn't as violent and didn't manifest itself the same and all they're doing is expressing something that you have condoned and approved Ivan permitted for 10 13 years whatever strife is deadly in any form husbands and wives will allow each other to go days without talking with each other praying with each other doing anything else just thinking well where you got a problem between us and they'll tolerate that you wouldn't tolerate a snake for one second I want you to know that staph is deadlier than any snake that you've ever been exposed to it will destroy it will open up the door to every evil work and you may be giving all you've got you're gonna be robbed and you're gonna become poor if you don't deal with strife in that marriage you may know everything about healing that there is but I promise you you're gonna see Satan rip you off in the area of healing if you don't get deal with strife in your marriage strife is a luxury that nobody nobody nobody can afford yeah there is nobody strong enough to handle strife and many obviously just thought well I was born this way this is just the way I am no it's not many I tell you men especially use this as a cop-out this well I'm just not the emotional kind I don't show my emotions that was acquired God didn't make men to be slobs and not gonna operate in love towards their wife and things like that you can get rid of that trait you need to be expressing love you heard the testimony of Tina about how that notic so in your love and manifesting had hurt her and it damages people God didn't make you to be a tough macho type that just can't show your feelings you made yourself to be that way or somebody else made you to be that way but you can choose to be different it is not weakness to show love matter of fact I believe it's really weakness and it's a terrible bondage to be in a stereotype so that you can't be yourself and if you really feel compassion you can't release it now that's bondage it's not bondage to show emotion amen so strife is a terrible terrible thing and you need to get to the place that you don't tolerate let's look over here in proverbs chapter 13 what I'd like to do is to deal with and show you what is the root cause of strife why is it that we operate in strife and while I'm glad that this is in the Bible because if I have to say this I've been a world of hurt people that disagree with me and say brother I don't agree you're just a little off-base but here the Word of God says it proverbs chapter 13 in verse 10 says only by pride cometh contention but with the well-advised is wisdom well no that's simple only by pride comes contention now contingent if you were to look in tension up the dictionary it'll define the word contention by staff if you look the word strap up it'll define it by contention contention is simply a mild form of strife strife comes in different manifestations the violent manifestations of the sulking depressed type manifestations etc contingent is of the beginning of stop matter of fact there's a scripture a couple of chapters on that says leave off with contention lest it be meddled with and become strife and so contingent is the beginning of strife so strife contention comes only through pride now the scripture says that's the only way it comes it didn't say that it's a contributing factor or it's one of the things or this is a big cause it's number one cause or anything else the scripture says only by pride comes contention so the only reason for anger in your life the only reason for hurt feelings harsh words in a marriage is pride not circumstances not things that have been done but rather it's pride now this pride needs to be explained Tina said these things but it needs to be explained because some people may not catch it just the way that it said but she she said it straight out that pride she was one of the most prideful people that ever was and yet she had a terrible self-esteem a low self-image and yet she was operating in pride pride is not only thinking you're better than somebody else now that is pride but pride in its simplest terms is simply self-centeredness or self sufficiency did you know the most proud people I think the hardest pride to deal with is the person that is self sufficient doesn't realize a dependency upon God they have so much natural town an ability that they can get it done on their own those are very very proud people they are independent it's hard for them to submit to God because they can do it on their own some of you confess to being workaholics did you know workaholics or proud people Amen our old me and you know why because instead of doing and establishing these priorities the way God said they know if you admitted you're a workaholic that means some time or another you realize that you just give probably ten hours to something that only takes eight but you just are into doing it your best so you've been convicted about it at some time or another but the reason they do that is because they can't entrust it to somebody else they believe that they can do it they just put themselves totally into it they know God's system of priorities and yet they aren't abiding by it they aren't willing to submit themselves trust God to take care of it you know with the pastor this is real easy to see because a pastor has such a noble ministry people are being helped I mean there's people's life you're in the balance if I take a day off from the ministry what happened there you know administered a millions nine people on the radio every day and what happens if I take a day off and I don't minister to people it's possible people you go to hell lives you know terrible things could happen so it's very easy to rationalize and say man I've got to give myself 100% totally to this and yet God establishes that the number one priority is my relationship with him number two is my family and the minister is down the list someplace did you know it's actually a statement of pride it's actually a statement of lack of faith in God to say that god I can't take time off I can't do it the way you've shown me I should because these people have got to be ministered to and nobody can do it but me god I'm indispensable God I've got to do these things you know I've seen this in the ministry that boy I started off and Jamie and I were the ministry I did everything that's like a one-armed paper hanger man I did everything and did you know it was hard for me to start delegating things to other people and trust somebody else and yet daily a general manager back here can tell you probably if I have a problem now it's the that I'm willing to give everything to them and not have any control in it I mean I've come a long ways I've changed to a large degree and the Lord showed me that you know it was lack of faith that I couldn't delegate something to somebody else and act the way that God wanted me to I was too self dependent I wasn't trusting and relying upon God did you know that's pride hey man you know failure to submit yourself humble yourself before God is pride so pride comes in a lot of different forms I was dealing with a woman just recently that her reputation was gonna be slandered she has always been just I mean she has upheld her integrity to the nth degree and some people were slandering her saying things against her and she was saying I've got to retaliate I got to do something I got to let the people know that this is not the way I really acted there they're gonna slam to our reputation what will happen to the Ministry of War and so I shared with the scriptures from Romans chapter 12 about avenge not yourselves but give place unto wrath for God has said vengeance belongeth unto me I will repay and I say look God will take care of it and she was saying I see that but what I do at this thing I just can't get over it you know what am I gonna do they're misrepresenting me and she says they're gonna think I've operated in pride they're telling people that it's just my greed my promotion wanting to promote self that's the problem says that stuff's not true and finally you know I turned it around and I said you're really proud of your you mill at the aren't you well you're really proud of this reputation that your humble and you don't want anybody to misunderstand that exactly how humble you are and you know I had really exposed it to she was sitting there time to defend or you meant then did you know that that was pride pride can come in a lot of different forms in its simplest terms pride is simply self-centeredness our self will now if you use that as a definition of pride which we could define that if I had time I hadn't got time to go through all of this but if you'll just accept that as a definition of pride and begin to apply that into your life then you can see exactly why we respond the way we do and why we lash out in anger it's simply because of self-centeredness it's because we aren't putting first the other person but rather all we're doing is thinking about ourselves again I can go back to the relate to when we were children when you come into this world you were totally self-centered one week old baby doesn't care about the fact that the malla just had a baby and you know may still be recovering and the fact that she's been up at all night long every night for the last week that baby doesn't care about anybody but itself when it wants something to eat it wants it right then when it wants to be changed that baby wants to be changed right then that baby is totally self-centered and you know for a one-week-old baby that's understandable but what's really bad is when they're 40 and 50 and 60 years old see they come into the world totally self-centered and did you know that it's a responsibility of a parent to get that child out of themself and to start teaching that child look you're not the center of the universe the world does not revolve around you and there are other people in this world besides you and don't just think about what you won't don't go over there and just take toys from other people you need to learn to share and you need to realize that your real purpose and being here is so that you can be a blessing as it said in Revelation chapter 4 verse 11 so that you can be a pleasure unto God and unto other people and you start instilling within that child that you are here to be a blessing to other people the way to be exalted is to be a servant as Jesus said if you want to be great in the kingdom of God learn to be a servant of all where here to teach our children that and yet most of us because we're caught up in our own problems on marital problems job problems etc we aren't diligent with our children and we are allowing this self-centeredness to stay intact within them and never break that self will you know I had an instance just a week and a half ago I was talking to Dave about this and I had a horse given to me that is totally totally wild this horse they've had professional cowboys out for weeks in the road trying to catch this horse and they roped it they drugged these guys across the pasture one I've nearly died from and he broke off fence post they've done everything this horse is just as wild as a March Hare and it had a halter that they put on when it was one year old and the horse is now a little over three years old and his halter had grown and it pinched its nose and it was angry because I wouldn't let anybody touch its head and so the horse was really in a mess they gave this horse to me nobody could catch this horse and yet it's got the potential of being a great horse it really does it's three quarters quarter horse and 1/4 era and so anyway they gave this horse to me nobody could catch it and all the people I contacted about breaking it and training it said that I had to bring it to them this horse nobody even catch it much less trailer the thing so I was praying about it about three weeks ago and the Lord showed me how to catch that horse I went out and in two minutes had caught that horse and it was a miracle and anyway I'm not sure that I did it the right way but when I caught that horse it scared that horse it went I right and for about 20 or 25 minutes that horse it took off running that rope caught around its neck knocked it over backward it rolled on the ground it spit it had blood coming out of its mouth and nose it acted like his done scared me I went over and tried to let it loose but it was pulling so tight on the rope I couldn't get the rope loose and that horse fall for about 20-25 minutes and finally just collapsed not I wasn't sure it hadn't died I mean its eyes were so red its blood pressure was so high that its eyes were blood-red all around I mean that horse look like it was gone it laid down for over an hour and during that time we took the halter off we tied it between two poles did some things and did you know when that horse got up that was not the same horse the name of that horse is El Shaddai and I tell you that horse is more than enough and when that horse got up did you know it stood in the exact position didn't even shift its weight from foot to foot for over 24 hours I mean it was broken and we're within one week's time I had a saddle on that horse I've had my kids on it eight year old kids leading them around my Hawker in that horse is you know it's just in the process of being trained it's already broken but it needs to be trained now that horse was so independent it wouldn't submit but after it learned that man I got the best of it you know that horse can be standing there with its head up and it can see me coming boy it'll put its head down as a sign of surrender that horse is submitted that horse has learned that it is no longer independent did you know now like yesterday or whenever I was out there last that horse started to run off for me as I was leading it with a lead rope and all I did was jerk on that rope just a little bit and boy a horse just froze and walked right over to me it didn't know that it could have drugged me all over the pasture just like that okay but see it it had learned that it was no longer independent it had learned to cement now that's not a perfect example you don't treat your kids like that are actually going but what I am saying your children do need to learn that they are not independent and that they can't do their own thing they got to learn that they were created by a creator and if they're responsible to him and that they cannot do their own thing the Bible says the same thing for a Christian that you are not your own you're bought with the price we've got to learn to come under the yoke the Bible says in the Book of Psalms 119 that it's good that a man buries bear the yoke in his youth it's good that you learn how to serve in your youth and most artists are not teaching our children submission we aren't teaching them respect of authority we're letting them be self-will they want a piece of candy and they fall down and parents say no you can't have a piece of candy you've already had one so the kid falls down in the middle of the supermarket for begins to scream and holler kick spit down my candy you know how most parents will do because of self-centeredness because they're more concerned about what are people gonna think about me look what this kids done they'll let that kid have the candy why because they're still kidding themselves rather than be more concerned about their children and rather than take the abuse and let somebody think what they won't do about them they'll reward that child for negative behavior because of nothing but total self-centeredness and they reinforcing this child man if you want something all you gotta do is kick and holler and scream loud enough and you can get your way you can get whatever you want you can manipulate mommy and daddy did you know that there's a lot of six-month one-year-old children that have their parents to where they can't sleep all night because these kids want to wake up in the middle of the night and do this and that we taught our children that man you can go to bed and sleep like a person now I'm not talking about when they were one week oh when they've got to be fed every four hours that's different but when a kid just gets in the habit because you've trained them of getting up during the night we told it told them no you don't do it and did you know you trying to train a child to do that and there's nothing repressive with that there's nothing it's bad about that we just taught our children to behave we taught our children to take a nap every day because it's good when they were young to be still and when they got to the place that they didn't need in that they still had to be still and just pray I read the Bible or read one of their story books we taught them to be still and know that he's gone you know it's a blessing all the parents man mother has an hour to two hours you know that's just like a sanctuary she can sit down and study the word and pray and do things like that we taught our children to submit but you know most of us haven't been taught to submit most of us have grown up with this self we'll totally intact with pride intact and you know the conflict that's happening in marriage is nothing but a dealt temper tantrums adult fits your mate didn't do what you want so therefore men you're going to let them have it you're gonna react you're gonna do something because you were treated wrong total selfishness is the root cause of all strife if you've got strife you got self-centeredness and it doesn't matter what the other person does if you were void of that self-centeredness exactly like what Tina was saying when Tina said God do something with me God don't worry about rich what about me and she got her act together she said she reached the place where it didn't matter what rich did because the thing inside of her that made her respond in that hatred was gone that self-centeredness she had humbled herself she was broken before the Lord are broken in a contract spirit she had humbled herself that self-will had been dealt with and therefore all of the anger was gone here anger is not something that you were just born with it's not something that's a part of your personality trait it's a part of self-centeredness it's nothing but selfishness and the fact that you're exalting yourself above anybody else and that's what's causing that anger you know I saw a thing on television one time where they took a man who is on death row and they were doing a thing on capital punishment and they showed this men and I am NOT against capital punishment I'm real mercy oriented but I do believe that there is such a thing as a deterrent to other people so I am NOT against capital punishment I'm not a real pro support I don't like to see anybody murdered whether it's in the name of justice or whatever but I do believe that sometimes it's superior to the alternative all right so I'm not I'm saying that to qualify where I'm coming from I am NOT against capital punishment but they took this man on death row and they gave a life history of him and showed pictures when he was a little kid in a baby you know no baby no baby you know is worth capital punishments you don't want to put a baby you don't want to kill a baby for something that they did so they took pictures when he was a baby and boy you got to looking at and thinking how cute he was and then they showed him when he was a little kid on his stick horse riding around with his guns on his hip playing all these games and they showed him growing up and then they showed how he was abused how he went through a divorce how he was rejected how he had been sexually molested when he was a child and all of the terrible things that had happened to him and then they showed him in jail waiting to be executed and did you know you couldn't help but feel pity and sympathy for that guy even though I did not approve of what he did and even though I still would have not have done away with the death penalty I still felt sympathy for that guy when you saw his side of the store when you saw where he came from but you could have taken that same audience that now is all supportive of him and really wishing that there was some way to get him off the hook you could take those same group of people and you could take the girl that he raped and murdered and you could show her baby pictures and show her growing up and how sweet she was and show all of the ideas and the ambitions that her parents had for her and all of her plans show her fiance that she was fixing to get married to and then show some pervert coming in there and raping her and murdered her for his own selfish gratification and that same group of people looking at a different side of the story would be ready to string that guy man they form a vigilante committee you see what I'm saying your emotions can be affected directly on the information that your if you're only looking at things from your perspective your inevitable results is going to be strife if you are self-centered only by pride comes contingent if you are self-centered looking at your side of the issue it's inevitable that staff is going to be the byproduct but if you could get through up to where you think on the other person and think where they're coming from and think about them more than you do about yourself then it's impossible to respond in anger you can see this in the Word of God Moses man he knew the blessing of God was upon him and when people came out against him instead of Moses taking offense and instead of him getting his feelings hurt and striking back and saying something Moses would fall on his face and begin to pray and intercede because he knew that men God was fixing to avenge him and defend him and he would start interceding for those other people no hatred no bitterness in his heart whatsoever love and compassion stood as an intercessor for the very people that were wanting to kill him why because the Bible says enrollment in numbers chapter 12 verse 3 that Moses was the meekest man on the face of the earth Moses was not in this for himself he was not self-centered Moses was totally humbled before God his whole life was spent for others and because of it Moses was able to fall down and intercede for the very people wanting to kill him that's the reason that Jesus was able to say Father forgive them for they know not what they do that's the reason that Stephen was able to say father lay not this sin to their charges because they were in they were into God more than they were into themselves if your mind is more stayed upon God advancing his kingdom and ministering to the other person than you are yourself you will not even take notice when things come your way if you were to take those characteristics of love that we dealt with in first Corinthians chapter 13 earlier this morning and if you were to read those in different translations I believe it's the Living Bible or something that says love doesn't even notice it doesn't take account suffering wrongs it's not even aware when people are doing things to you because it's not self-centered for you to be aware of all the ways your maid is mistreated you and all of the things that they've done it reveals there's a very self-centered person on the inside ah when you're really loving them with God's kind of love all you want to do is just spend and be spent form just like this example of the couple I gave you earlier today that went to the marriage counselor and she came out of there and instead of defending herself she says look whatever it takes to help you is fine even if that's running me down how many officer that did to our self that we would let our mate run us down if that's going to help them there's not very many people like that message that there's a lot of strife marriages it's because very few of us have ever submitted ourselves to such a degree that will even let people the famous if that's what it takes you know if you're really dead to yourself if you took a corpse and laid it out in front of me tonight you could spit on that corpse you could jump up and down on you and do anything and if they're dead there's not going to be very much response and on the other hand you can complement them and do all kinds of thing they're not going to be in responsibility if they're dead they just don't respond to things like that if you're dead to self then pride can't grab ahold contention cannot come and the result will be that you'll be able to release this God kind of love that's already on the inside of us by simply choosing god over self choosing god's rays over our own ways let anybody see then why it's so simple now that's not easy but that's very very simple it's a simple matter of brothers and sisters choosing we've established a lot of things what I'm is that God's kind of love is not an emotion we've shown you the truth are you going to choose to walk in God's kind of love and just begin to say bless God I will love even as God for you know loved the church and gave himself for it look in the Word of God find examples I've an implement you're going to choose to do that or you're going to choose to continue to be self-centered and go your own way because that's the way that your family did it that's the way you were brought up that's the way all the people you know did it you've got a choice in front of you and your mates not making the choice for you it's not how bad they're treating you that determines your reaction you can choose today to operate in God's kind of love amen you can choose to be self-centered you choose to grow up today and what so much of what's happening is just immaturity I mean carnal immaturity carnal things you know I look at children today sometimes and I think God how could they ever be different man they haven't been taught anything they're growing up they're an emotional wreck and I think God how are they going to ever reproduce anything other than what they've been fed and I honestly don't know an answer to that bar in the intervention of the Lord I mean the America is in mess today because of the youth and some of the youth the way they're headed and because they have not been checked and because they've been allowed to run free I guarantee the next generation is going to be a mess if it wasn't for the believers kids we got a group of believers coming up that are strong and horseradish a man and I believe they're going to take the leadership but you know many of us are just reproducing things that we were taught self centeredness not necessarily instilled in us but unchecked just like that horse nobody's ever broken in nobody's ever shown that they they're the boss that somebody else is important besides that individual somebody you're so wrapped up in to self that all you can think about is what they did wrong to me well why did they do it you know this woman I gave you this example of this marriage that was so bad when the Lord began to deal with her the real thing that turned it around she began to start saying father helped me to love him why is he the way he is and God showed her when he was a child how he was treated how he was abused the terrible things that happened and she could tell exactly why he was the way that he was because she saw where he was coming from she saw his side of the story she never had considered it before have y'all ever been around somebody loses their temper or any of you ever like that and somebody that loses their temper and I mean is violent and demonstrates it and I mean you know physical abuse or whatever my brother's like that my brother's just the opposite of me I mean he gets violent whereas I always Pat it when you get around people like that after they lose their temper they'll nearly in ever they come back and when they see the damage that they've done verbally or physically or whatever they'll come back and they'll say I'm sorry if I'd have thought about what I was doing if I'd have thought about how much I was gonna hurt you I wouldn't have done this you know what they're saying they're reinforcing this proverbs 1310 then I was so much into pride I was so self-centered I didn't think about you I didn't care about you where you were coming from all I could think I was somebody did something to me I was totally totally totally self-centered amen ro me anyway this woman began to start realizing the other person's perspective she began to see where her husband was coming from it did you know she gained a love and a compassion for him and she began to pray and she began to start defending him I mean it got to the point it was obnoxious to Jamie and me because she'd come over and so he's such a great man all he really got all this potential inside of and I'd look at her and think boy are we talking about the same guy I mean this guy was a rat in the natural and she just loved him she loved covered the multitude of sins all she could see was the good that the capacity for good that was on the inside of that man she far surpassed my advice that I was given her she was doing what Tina was saying she took it and acted on it instead of you know just saying it she was doing it and she got such a love for that man there's times that I would have given up and told her to leave him but no she wouldn't hear it man because she was in to believe in God for that man to be changed that's the way God's kind of love is it'll automatically look at the other person's side of the story it will give people the benefit of the doubt rather than citrus if we'd start implementing that and I am marriage I guarantee you can stop you can stop dead in its tracks I mean bring to zero the levels of strife in your home you do not have to permit it that is not normal or natural we have taken the world standards for so long and thought well this is just the way it has to be I'm here to tell you that is not the way it has to be there is something better I let a man to the Lord once who is messed up but after he got born again he came into our church and did nothing but sow discord I mean he calls problems everywhere he went all he did was gripe and complain and after about five or six months of that he came to me he says I'm leaving this group says I'm still gonna serve God I'm a Christian but I'm getting out of this church you nothing but a bunch of hypocrites and you're hindering me I'll be better off out in the woods and so I started talking to him and and he says this is just this group is full of strife that's all they are just full of strife and so I just got bold and told them you know I wasn't aware one bit of strife in this body until you came into it and I said yes there's strife in this body and you have occasioned it I said man you have criticized everybody criticizes Jamie because she had hand cream that had lanolin in it he says you supposed to be faith people I thought you believed in heathen and you're using lanolin that's medicine said and he began to criticize us and criticized our stand he got on our case because we ate our potatoes and peel them he says the peels the best part of it you're defying God's creation and God on our case for not eating the potato fields he got on just for using soap says God didn't make you to use soap so it's not natural and I wanted to tell him boy you could sure use a little bit he didn't take baths very often at all but anyway he just would go around son discord all the time so I told him I said you're the problem I said you ought to start loving your brother instead of criticizing and in my amazement he humbled himself and instead of rebelling he broke down and he began to say how do you love and I looked at him and thought you know what's matter with you you know anybody knows how to love but he got to relate to me that he was raised in reformatories he never had a he never meant his family he was raised in foster homes and reformatories by the time he was 13 years old he'd been indicted three times by the California grand jury he was Robert by the time he was eight years old etc and he had grown up in so much hate that he had never seen it he says if you were telling me to act healed when I feel sick he says I can do that by faith because I felt healed before but he says I've never felt loved and he said I don't know how to do it and it just took me back because I had I wasn't aware that there were people actually like that and so the Lord gave me a word and I just said go look at Jesus God is love look at Jesus and the way Jesus treated people the way he treated the woman taken in the act of adultery that's the way you're supposed to treat people the way he forgave them and didn't impede their sins under and that's the way you're supposed to do some of us have moved so far away from God's standards that many of us really don't know what the proper reference point is we don't actually know what is the true Christian family what's it's supposed to be like and we need to go back just simply to the Word of God and look at Jesus and see how Jesus would treat your mate what would Jesus do do you think Jesus would say some of the things to your mate that you've said do you think Jesus would respond to him do you think Jesus would ignore me you think the priorities in Jesus life would be the same as your priorities if he was married to your mate and you need to go back and just start analyzing those things and seeing what would Jesus do and whatever you can see Jesus doing that's what you're supposed to do that is love and you can choose to be that way you can die out to your own selfish desires and again I reinstate there is nothing that makes us be selfish like this it's the simple fact that that old nature inside of us was totally self-centered it was taught by the devil to exalt self do whatever it took for self to feel good we were trained that way and now the old man is gone and all that's left is that under nud mind you can change your thinking to a place where it's actually easier for you to operate and God's kind of love than it is to operate in selfishness hey man well I got a lot of amens on that one most people think buddy you got your head in the bucket you Jamie haven't had the problems rich and Tina have and yet rich and Tenant be able to tell you the same thing you can renew yourself to the place to a it is easier to operate in love than it is to operate in style the Bible says in Hebrews chapter 5 verse 14 that strong meat belongs to those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil did you know you can even get your sense as to where they begin to start working with you and for you instead of against you you can renew them I've reached a place honestly and I'm not perfect in this but I've reached a place where it's easier for me to walk in love mercy and forgiveness than it is to get into strife and to get into pouting and depression and those kind of things honestly I do not even have that tendency anymore because I've seen the benefit of the word of God in my life and it's made it so that it's easier to walk in love and forgiveness and think about the other person instead of just thinking about so you can renew yourself you can choose to do that I wish I could tell you you could come up here and I'll lay hands on everybody and you can receive it it doesn't come that way it comes through denying yourself and it comes through dying to yourself and saying God I choose you and it comes through a lot of discouragement because you make this decision during this marriage seminar and go home and fail and think man did I blow the whole thing and you'll have to go back and renew what we've talked about and say no and get up and start over again it's a growth process a lot of us have gotten sloppy and we want somebody to lay hands on us and give us maturity but it doesn't come that way you're gonna have to grow you're gonna have to mature some of you're gonna have to go back to your one-year old childhood and start dealing with of the emotions that never got dealt with and starts saying that I am not the only person in this marriage there's another real human being over there created in the likeness of God that's got hurts and pains and I'm gonna have to start thinking about them and try to minister to them because I can't prosper in this marriage if they don't prosper and you're gonna have to start thinking about somebody besides yourself and you know if you'll do that you'll be surprised what will happen you'll be surprised how much how much your mate changes when you get your act together and I'm not talking about really your mate change I'm talking about how much your perception changes so much of the strife that we have is not actual strife at all it's all inflated ego type related things that if we weren't so alive to ourself and so self-centered there wouldn't even be a problem hey man isn't this what y'all came to marriage seminar to hear really you came to get your mate straight back by God ministered of my mate if you don't get either straighten out something's gonna happen or him straighten that well I hope you're getting the message God wants you to get your act together and if you get your act together you know your mate may do a lot better because they won't be fighting as many battles and so it would be a blessing to you praise God pride only by pride comes contingent that's a powerful truth and I want in coach this is not the kind of thing you hear one time and say man I believe that I'm free from that now recognising the truth is just the beginning of the battle and I encourage you I've got a tape on strife that will go into much more detail than what I was able to bring in a lot of other scriptures that will support this and you need to make that teaching one of your foundational teachings because I promise you you'll have opportunity to act on what I've talked about today every day of your life and so I encourage you to really get that in your heart before we break today I'm early I got 10 minutes hey man I really got all the time we need but I want to do this I want to ask you you know this will give an explanation to why I'm asking people to outwardly respond to what's minister because it's very easy to have God speak to you and yet through pride never put it into action never act on it in any way form or fashion when you humble yourself in front of people by confessing that I'm wrong did you know that dealing with that pride the very act of responding openly is one of the most important things that can happen because you're dealing with that Friday when pride is dealt with self-centeredness it seems like everything else begins to crumble around about you when you can humble yourself before God that is a tremendous victory on the road to success that's the reason that the Bible says pray one for another and confess your faults one to another not so that you can have some gossip to go share with somebody man did you hear what he has been doing but rather it's for the purpose of humbling yourself but when you begin to start confessing these things it just does something to you if you determine well I'm not going to treat this person that way again you know a way to ensure that you want is to make a commitment that every time I speak evil of somebody in any way former fashion I'm gonna go repent and tell them what I've done and Baldwin that I would get you serious in a hurry it's one thing to say Father forgive me and never get it out in the open but if every time you do something's going to be brought out in the open you'll find out you got a real motivation not to sin because that humbleness admitting your faults one to another is something that we all just hate to do so yeah well I would like to give you an opportunity to respond to what was said today and if God has zeroed in on your problem today which I know all of us have this problem to some degree another God's already dealt with me my wife was delivered of a demonic temper before we got married if you've already been dealt with and if this is just simply an encouragement along the way in a realignment of your sense then that's fine but if today you have never responded to this you never really recognize the problem maybe you've been blaming it on somebody else or this is the way I was brought up or this is whatever I'd like to give you an opportunity today to humble yourself and say brother the buck stops here the reason for strife in my life is not somebody else it's not circumstances it's the fact that I've been self-centered I'm alive unto myself and I have never really committed myself to God humbled myself and broken that self-will in me and if that's you I want to give you an opportunity right where you are just to stand up to admit it confess it and then we're gonna pray a prayer and receive cleansing in that and start on the road to healing amen so if that's you I'd like you to stand where you are and just admit that before God and let God cleanse you of it if you've already dealt with it and I mean you've consciously confronted the thing you don't need to stand up and go through it again just stand and encourage yourself to keep on and increase the effort but if this is you today you need to deal with this you need to deal with that self-centeredness and I don't want anybody standing up after we bow our heads and weekend to pray I want you to stand up now while people are looking humble yourself if you're gonna stand up do it now nobody stands up once we start praying anybody else and maybe somebody else it says the brother I admit that what you're saying is true I'm just not sure that I could really if I stood up if it would really make a difference I'm not sure that I'm really ready to turn on myself yet I acknowledge it but I'm not really to that place yet but I want to be if you recognize the problem it'll want to be free of it today you can stand and receive prayer even if you aren't sure your to that place anybody else father in the name of Jesus we just put ourselves in agreement and follow these people have humbled themselves before you father we've openly confessed that we are just self-centered there were prideful father that we never were trained properly we've been just operating in nothing but self-centeredness father we confess it is sin and we forsake it and ask you to forgive us of this sin in the mighty name of Jesus and father I'm confident I believe with all of my heart that the blood of Jesus has cleansed us from all unrighteousness that these sins of self-centeredness self-seeking father are put under the blood of Jesus and that they're no more remembered that these people are free and clean of it in the mighty name of Jesus probably praised you for it and father we ask you now that even though we've made that decision we know that we've not only got to make the decision but now we've got to retrain ourselves we've got to renew ourselves I renew our mind father I ask you to bring this commitment that these people have made back to their remembrance father help them to remember the things that the Holy Spirit has spoken to him today so that they can have this same conviction that has come to them today father that it'll come to them every time they begin to violate it and get back into self-centeredness that father once again you'll convict them and to reprove and bring us back to that place of repentance and turning from self father we welcome you to do that we commit these lives to you father we are denying that we humbled ourselves we went against our own self-will today and admitted that we're sinners and that we father have sinned falling short that we need help and father we've committed ourselves to you to change us and we stand on your promise and Timothy that you are faithful and just to keep that which we have made it unto you against that day father I believe that you're going to keep these people a father you'll keep them in this commitment that you'll remind them and father we praise you we praise you father some of you now need to just operate and forgiveness right now you need to choose to forgive you still may not feel like forgiving but you just need to make a conscious choice right now and forgive all of the wrongs that have been done just wipe the entire slate clean you need to forgive there's some of you that need to ask your mate to forgive you don't tell you mate what they need to ask forgiveness for you just yourself ask and receive that forgiveness for yourself that cleansing before the Lord praise You Father probably receive that and I believe father as a result of today that we'll all be more submitted to the Father we'll have the good sense that a horse would have to submit ourselves to somebody who's gained mastery over us but father we had to humble ourselves willingly without having to go through traumatic experiences if father we were just of our own free will humble ourselves and come under your yoke under your obedience honor we ask you for that and we receive it if all we believe that we're free we believe that this is a beginning of change lives changed marriages today because of your word and father we thank and receive that in the mighty name of Jesus amen praise God we hope that your heart has been quickened by hearing the Word of God through this message remember Andrew Wommack ministries operates a helpline that you can call for prayer and information at seven one nine six three five eleven eleven we have a ministry website at www.hsn you can write the ministry at p o– box 3333 colorado springs eight zero nine three four until next time we pray that you will reach out by faith and receive everything that is yours through God's grace

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