Chase Gillis – Discomfort and overcoming stuttering

Hello, ladies and gentlemen, everybody!
We’re having Chase Gillis today! Hello Chase! Hello everyone! And hello
Andrey! I first got to say Andre like your voice is so smoothing with it it’s so
nice – III already feel so calm like already. Yeah it’s also pretty early for
me it’s late for you so I’m also trying not to wake up
everybody yeah thank you thank you so it’s
absolutely amazing to see you I’ve seen a lot of your videos and they’re very
inspirational, motivational, motivating and so we’re talking, we want to talk
about something that we can learn something that we can apply
mm-hmm and you said that the first thing you would like to start talking about is
the relationship between discomfort and overcoming stuttering. So, for many of us, it’s not quite obvious that there is any relationship, many
start like working with the speaking side because that’s what’s obvious like
visible for many of us, so how would you describe that connection and how did you
come to the point where you realized there is some connection between
discomfort and overcoming stuttering? Definitely, all right, and if you need to stop
me at any time during this feel free to ask questions or whatever because
yeah so for me the most important characteristic
someone can develop that has a stutter if they want to overcome their stutter
is to develop the ability to consistently seek discomfort and I make
that huge claim because that is for me the most important thing, the most
important characteristic and it’s because your comfort zone what you’re
comfortable with is so small to begin with especially if you stutter,
especially if you stutter because what’s comfortable for you right now maybe just
like talking to your pets, maybe just talking to your friends and family maybe
even that but a lot of time talking at friends of families still very very
scared for you but the reason why I believe seeking discomfort is the best
thing you can do if you stutter is because all the amplified emotions you
get from it the positive ones and the negative ones not just like, the
negative ones especially because when you’re in a heightened state when you’re
outside of your comfort zone and you’re in discomfort you’re getting an insane
amplification of emotions not just positive but also negative and you also
might ask like how would having an amplified feeling of negative
emotions help me overcome my stutter? And honestly, it doesn’t really make sense
but if you break it down like like you’re trying to work at the gym like
you’re trying to lift weights say say inside of your comfort zone is is up to
five pounds right say say talking to your dog is zero
pounds because when you talk to your dog you know he’s not going to judge you you
don’t have that feeling of judgment on them and say talking to your friends and
family that’s five pounds because you hope they won’t judge you they but you
can see that like little micro expressions in their face when you have
a block or something so you know there’s something that
so say up five pounds a lot is stutterers like I’ve talked to hundreds
and a lot of them stop they’re lifting five pounds but friends and family maybe
co-workers but that’s where the comfort zone ends at that point and let’s say
100 pounds is the heaviest you can go so a hundred pounds to five pounds all your
life no matter how much you lift those five pounds you will never have the
strength of if you were lifting 6 pounds or 7 pounds or 8 pounds right but if you
lift those 100 pounds and since they’re not actually physical weights since
they’re not actually at the gym and it’s mental weights mental weights me more
anxiety more embarrassment more self-doubt more judgment from others all
the things I’m if you stutter more say you lift those 100 pounds off say
whatever scares the most is a hundred pounds giving a speech do your
presentation asking that girl out now you put those weights down you had all
those amplified feelings or emotions all those negative emotions that would make
you stutter more now when you go back to the back down in the 5 pounds they’re
gonna feel a lot a lot a lot lighter right right your featherless are those
emotions that you just skyrocketed it’s so high of a native emotions now lifting
back 5 pounds it’s gonna feel so light and if you do that over and over and
over again consistently you’re gonna make six pounds feel a lot lighter seven
pounds feel a lot lighter now talking to strangers say that’s 50 pounds 50 pounds
are going to feel a lot lighter now since you just lifted a hundred pounds
whether if you started from five pounds to 50 like from five pounds to 50 you
can have a lot more negative emotions and your stutter a lot more you have a
lot more self-doubt but if you start from from just continuously leaving a
comfort zone it’s going to feel a lot and a lot and a lot lighter
and that’s the main purpose behind it it’s just it’s just being vulnerable to
study because I know a lot of people are scared to stutter that’s when you get
the embarrassment and they try to change words that or they don’t even want to
talk but when you stutter it’s subconscious I it’s hard to say now that
I haven’t had a bad stuttering episode in a while but I know when I would have
be in the middle of something and I was stuttering and stuttered in study
there’s nothing worse no Rose right it’s like if in this probable feeling but if
you don’t get that can you hold that that words in it does way more damage to
you then as you study and you’re also building don’t so what you’re saying
because again I’m thinking like a regular person stutters who says I’m
getting outside of my comfort zone and it’s impossible because I will start so
what you’re saying is go like that’s okay if you stutter so like or like
because you need that emotion anyways evenly yeah exactly and when you like
there’s even times now when I know I’m gonna stutter like I still have bad days
and I know this bad day will keep on going if I don’t face this fear if I
don’t go and stutter and ident like lifting 100 pounds if I if I’m having a
bad day I will do something so ridiculously outside my comfort zone
that it just scares me to bits and say I just lifted 65 pounds and I just
embarrassed myself in front of 50 people now when I stutter in front of one
person the nowhere near the same amount of negative emotions will come up so
that means nowhere near the same amount of stuttering
doing that over and over and you just get in this rhythm of building that
momentum you like I’m so I just talk to you right now I’m just like – two years
ago man it was I couldn’t get two words out and now just doing this over and
over again consistently biggest piece of advice yeah yeah I agree because that’s
my experience as well even though I played in my therapy with the physical
aspects of speaking but I feel a huge change after doing some uncomfortable
things like specifically talking to somebody like using like trained speech
talking about stuttering so and you mentioned several you mentioned several
times the judgement of other people so so and what you’re saying again about
the comfort zone again tells me maybe you would correct me that the staggering
shame that we’re having is the most like the biggest piece of that whole thing
mmm can you say that one more time so my question is about stuttering shame so
would you agree that this is because you mentioned judgment mm-hmm they’re kind
of very very close judgement me someone is judging you something’s wrong with
you so hmm so it’s the starring shame that
we’re dealing with mm-hmm or you would put it differently okay yeah
I I’ve never thought of the word shame but now I think about it like the
psychological term yeah I shame is definite great word for that though
because I’ve I’ve never really thought about shame and I you just think about
embarrassment or anger shame shame is a great word because when you’re in the
middle of that block and you just wanted it out but you can’t get it out that is
pure shame I know I I know I can get it out like it beats you up knowing you can
get it if you’re alone or if you’re just less anxious and it’s just so shameful
you can’t get it but I when you’re a shame means you’re doing something wrong
and it means that next time I won’t do it I don’t want to do it next time
and we’re kind of as you said we’re limiting our world to like a small space
hmm yeah yeah um the golf shame and judgment from others I think altogether
the judgment from others is the biggest the basic piece of why you stuttered not
like there’s anxiety involved there’s fear of embarrassment there’s all of
that but judging from others I find is that if you work on that that can get
you the fastest results that kids be you don’t have to think like so to leave my
comfort zone I did a lot of comfort zone challenges like laying on the ground for
one minute in a busy place and doing 20 push-ups in the mill in the middle of my
school hallway just embarrassment myself and I didn’t even need to talk that’s
how I know that that’s how I know that stuttering is such a mental game because
I didn’t even have to talk when I was doing those comfort zone challenges but
when I out of them and I got judged for just being me not just talking
for just laying down on the ground for one minute and judge by 50 people I got
up and now when I go to talk there’s knocking the judgment isn’t
gonna be there nearly as much since I just got judged by fifty people at once
now I talk to one person now the the level of Tara had for their opinion on
of me is so dissolved that it’s it’s like I’m floating when I’m talking to
someone now and can I ask you how did you come to the idea to actually like
doing that is that read it in the book or it struck you somehow you you came to
it yourself or yeah okay so it’s actually a funny story
um this first off I used to watch a lot of how to overcome stuttering videos and
I I didn’t come across in any of yours I don’t believe but all the ones that came
across they made my stutter dwarfs and it’s weird because I found out thinking
about my stutter more and more often if I watch those videos so when I realized
that I switched my my site is something that I’m also passionate about which is
at the time when I was when I’m 16 I I was pretty horrible with girls so I I
looked like game I looked up how to pick up girls and one of the best traits I
God can have is care carefreeness right you do your own thing
whether no matter what their other person’s thinking just stick to your
path and do your own thing but it it doesn’t just come like that it takes
practice to be carefree and this guy was falling at a time called Jason Capital
he was telling me of this exercise that he did where he walked into a nail salon
and we do 20 push-ups in the nail salon and drained his brain to not care about
other people’s opinions so I was like you know what like
instead of doing that and as I started doing that I noticed my stutter was
getting less and less and less and that I made the connection in my mind that’s
when the connection started I I was thinking man like stuttering is a mental
game and once you lose the judgment from others it just becomes so much easier to
you just become so much more you and when you are you without being in your
head about other people over there other people over there and you can yours
allowed to do whatever you want to do that’s when you stop thinking but you
stuttered you know it’s also because I stopped thinking about stuttering I was
more in tune with trying to pick up girls I was trying to I was born tuned
with the techniques of carefreeness of eye contact of all that stuff that
stuttering wasn’t even on my mind it was the other thing I was trying to grow and
that’s a huge thing for me to you is to not focus on overcoming your stutter but
to focus on the on becoming more confident focus on becoming a better
version of yourself because we do focus on your stutter you stutter more it’s
just God God that’s a beautiful idea so and you mentioned again that you watch
some videos and you became more conscious about your speaking so you say
you’re focusing on being confident to me I actually I usually put it in a way
that you’re actually doing what you want to do you’re becoming more active and if
you’re doing it that’s a positive kind of plus like you I’ve done it even if I
stutter so because again many people there lay there feeling that I stuttered
and it instantly colors that experience into negative so so what you’re saying
is that again to me as I read it that if I start
that’s that’s okay yeah that’s completely yeah something that was
really keeps me that I read in a book that forced me to talk to people even
though I knew I was gonna start it because even though you know that’s the
right thing to do sometimes your fear just takes over and you’re just unable
to talk to that person but honestly this thing I read in the book the best way to
grow is to judge yourself based on your actions not the outcomes you judge
yourself based on whether you took that action or whether you did don’t judge
yourself on how it came up don’t drive yourself based on the other person ran
away if the other person gave you a bad look if the other person was happy judge
yourself based if you went and actually did the thing because when you do the
thing that’s all that matters and you cannot control the outcome because
you’re only the like right now you’re your best self you can be right now you
can’t change who you are right now so if you take that action that’s who you are
right now there’s no changing that and there’s no change the outcome because
you are you right now judge yourself if you take that action
not if you stutter or not yeah I love this point I want to put it like bold
that’s it that’s the thing yeah that’s a great again paradigm pattern like yeah
so uh I’ll ask you if we have somebody joining thanks everyone for joining you
can ask questions if you have any so do I understand correctly that you’re not
doing anything about the physical side of our speak so you feel like you can
speak and that means you don’t need to do anything
about the physical like some people say about some breathing some people talk
about some voice exercises like my okay actually again that’s that’s the
question I a bit of the answer is that you’re making videos and for me I
believe that’s speaking exercise every time and that’s the speaking exercise I
suggest doing just shooting videos but what’s what’s your answer to that okay so I definitely believe there are
exercises and takes techniques that will help you start help you stutter you’re
less I have never really gone into the breathing exercises although I’m not
saying they don’t work I’m just saying that’s something I haven’t gotten into
you what I focus a lot on is my emotions because I know when I’m in a negative
state I stutter more I know I’ll just state I stutter less so if there isn’t
really exercise that I do it’s not to try to open any Airways or a technique
just utter less it’s a technique to put myself in the better state of emotions
so there is one that I do is called bow and arch bioenergetics it’s where you
put your hands back oh God breathe in an arch yes the guy who
teaches that I forgot lol yeah yeah absolutely yeah yeah that’s where I
learned it from it’s amazing because once you’ve finished two rounds of that
you’re you just feel unstoppable and I too did that before I even got on this
call because it just amps me up to get in a great mood and it’s not and again
it’s not focusing on my speech then it’s not focusing
if I stutter or not it’s focusing on my emotions and if I’m in a good emotional
state then I won’t stutter nearly as much as if I’m in a bad emotional state
Wow God some people are asking me about meditation so I see that what you’re
saying is probably is aiming at the same thing as meditation just going into your
body and activating our body if you wish mm-hmm yeah I have meditated starting
with probably three or four years ago I did it for years straight in the past
year I’ve been too consistent with it but I definitely notice some subtle
changes about me and I definitely noticed that after meditation I am much
more self aware of my stutter much more self-aware which isn’t a bad thing
necessarily because when you’re self aware of your speech you begin to find
little things right that take your speech that make you stutter more that
you wouldn’t have been able to to find if you weren’t in this calm meditative
state so what am i some of my best realizations came from a meditation it
it’s not so much to help my meditation I helped my stutter because I don’t think
I know it’s a huge difference in that for me meditation really helped me
become self-aware of what I do when I stutter and then how I would be able to
fix it like doing the carefreeness challenges and stuff like that but I’m
not putting down meditation all because meditation is amazing
and coming back to your videos because again I my personal experience that
shooting videos is a great exercise how did you come to the idea of maybe I
shoot a video and put it on YouTube or or somewhere else
or start start by Instagram probably it’s YouTube more with the videos I’m
still not on Instagram actively they don’t put they don’t allow like long
long videos I thought oh you can add longer videos now now now there’s a IG
TV think it’s called up and he go up to about 10 minutes or something now but
yeah how I how I started yeah was the guy I mentioned Jason
capital with the dating Kent about two years ago I think that’s when I post my
first video maybe one year ago and it was a I guess self-development seminar
kind of thing your purpose your passion like how to do stuff like that and it’s
got me so motivated to start this thing I knew I was passionate about and before
I even went to that seminar my girlfriend at the time and I were
talking now saying like I know how important it is to find your purpose in
life but like I can’t find it and she asked me a bunch of questions like like
if you had no money what would you do and all this stuff and I was like I just
want to help I was at I was at the sushi rush sushi restaurant and middled bite
my eyes when she when she asked me that question I just started crying I was
like I just want to help one person I want to help one person overcome their
stutter because in that moment I felt all the pain back of like how it feels
to stutter and it’s absolutely horrendous but that’s when I realized I
need to do something so when I hit that 7 hit that seminar and I came back from
it I was so motivated to help people but every when I posted that first video on
my youtube channel how to overcome your stutter ohh
a week after I had my worst I’ve never killed anyone this I had my
worst my worst stuttering episode for like weeks and I was like I thought the
fraud as soon as I put that out because I was like how could you stay out of
commute starter and then for like two weeks I was stuttering worse than I ever
had and I I still don’t know why it happened maybe because it was a life
task you mean like you have to get through this is you to proof yourself
that you can tell people how to overcome the stutter and once I did that I could
keep putting more videos though but yeah that that’s how I started it just like
me my girlfriend in a suit in a sushi rush sushi rush rush restaurant yeah
actually what you’re saying again that’s that’s a good point and I think I also
said the same thing so when something bad happens actually it’s always a great
thing to again come back to this realization and evaluate your actions
not and you’re speaking overall and Europe like again behavior not in terms
of that technical thing but in terms of what you actually did so you went there
you did it that’s that’s what you want to do at the end of the day that’s
that’s the main thing for us so so you should the video and again you inspired
people you you shared something something valuable so for for many
people it might be something that changed something in their life and that
is important so not not that’s yeah probably young so and can I ask you one
more thing again maybe it’s a bit personal but what is your idea about the
future like do you see yourself doing something about stuttering are you
thinking about a job or like starting some business or some
personal development or you’re still not sure what you’re gonna do
yeah for sure um definitely definitely definitely
I’m helping stutters like my life I found like I was put to stutter to
overcome it to help people overcome it also just right now I feel like I’ve had
these thoughts recently that I’m in such a good position in a work right now that
I should just Bank mine like save up save up save up dude and then I’m gonna
move somewhere for a year like I was thinking either England or thinking like
Sweden someplace like that and hopefully by then I’ll have enough money that I
can strictly start the laptop and helping people overcome their stutter
that way and then my end goal would be like a Tony Robbins kind of thing like
yes because again as I oak sad as well I believe
we are coming back to the personal development stuff that is helping us the
most what’s what you’re saying yeah mm-hmm got you got you so so actually I
think I think we’ve gone pretty much through the questions and I to sum up to
sum up again you have the video so but like if if I’m the person who wants to
do something today again you have video saying do that and that but what would
you again tell me once again what’s where do I start
okay I love this word called Kaizen and it’s
a it’s a Japanese award for small improvements every day deleted big
improvements in the long run and that’s where the consistency consistency came
in at the beginning of this talk where I said the most important characters that
you can develop in yourself if you want to overcome your stutter is having the
ability to consistently seek discomfort and that doesn’t mean doing a huge thing
every single day Kaiser den means just taking one step
today maybe that means just starting a YouTube channel not posting anything
just starting one maybe tomorrow you might be like the script for it and
the next day you shoot it maybe the next day you just do little steps just so you
don’t get overwhelmed but if you write it down on paper and you have it planned
out of the steps you want to do and you just do boxes for every single day and
you check them off as you go just little steps little steps over time it leads to
an empire and that’s what I’m doing I’m not taking massive steps massive stuff
I’m just taking little steps and it builds momentum first of all which
momentum helps you stutter like what you ate and when you hit that flow state
helps you start it and on top of that you’re developing yourself and you’re
just adding like stepping stones stepping stone stepping stones so the
the thing I would recommend you do if you didn’t start anything yet is to answer questions on a piece of
paper like the first thing you do answer questions about your own thoughts about
what you really want in life about if you can see yourself five years from now
doing something that if you wouldn’t even get paid for it if you had
unlimited money in your bank account what would you do if you had to do
something for the rest of your life get clear on that and then make stepping
stones towards that goal not correlated to stuttering at all not one bit because
when you think about uh terrain you stutter mark just start developing ah I
love this idea so much again I would put it bold because yeah it’s it totally
changes our like attitude so to focus on what we’re doing rather than focusing on
stuttering like on the deck because we’re so much focused on the technical
side I stuttered something’s wrong with me again shame embarrassment so when we
focus on doing to doing what we want to do it’s it’s it’s a totally different
kind of again evaluation of our actions like totally different lather totally
totally different whole new perspective yeah that’s that’s yeah I can relate
that resonate and that’s I think that’s again it might sound like a conceptual
thing but again it’s the most practical thing to to really decide where you’re
going and how you’re going it’s like the determines the your journey based on
your actions not not your outcomes join yourself place in your actions not
your comes that’s so massive for stutters in yeah so thank you for thank
you so much for your trying chase we have some people who join thank you so
so much for watching yeah so thank you so so much it’s great
to have you let’s keep in touch if you can again I’m inviting all participants
to show up on Saturday that would be just amazing to have everyone together
to have a conversation that would be awesome yeah yeah yeah thank you so so
much hope to see you soon yeah for sure Andre thank you so much for having me
this was honestly like very they’re very very attempting the board is is very
nice talk to you and meaningful time like honestly it was a great time yeah
so thank you thanks everybody I’ll stop our live

5 thoughts on “Chase Gillis – Discomfort and overcoming stuttering

  • What an AMAZING interview!!! Thank you, Chase Gillis and Andrew, for exploring the comfort zone and how important it is to get out of your comfort zone to see what you can do. When I tried this, of course, I failed but when I continued to step out of my comfort zone I noticed that every little step, every little win, helped build the momentum I needed to keep going. With every little daily win, my confidence grew and before I knew it, I was speaking in front of a crowd of a 100+. When we focus on what we do and NOT our stutter, we can do amazing things. The both of you are truly inspirational to PWS and I am grateful to have you champion for us and lead the cause to help PWS. Keep up the great work!!!!!

  • I liked the concept of weights related to a stutterers comfort zone. Speaking to close ones being less weight and increasing with less comfort. So if we can train weigh 100 kg 50 or 70 kg will become easy. Good idea.

  • Drawing comparison between comfort zone and weight lifting is incredibly superb idea….👌👌👌

  • Tony Robbins….Neuro Linguistic Programming and positive impact on emotions and beliefs….👍👍

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