Christmas with a Capital C – The Cinema Snob

oh did you think last ounce of courage was the only war on Christmas movie of course not there's plenty more stupid to go around although in the case of Christmas with a capital C I don't think Mike Huckabee owes anyone money over it but there's someone who owes me money for this film because I had to pay for the damn thing we're in safe hands though because the film received four out of five doves which means that there's no bare shoulders or a man in shorts but you may see a glimpse of a toe I may be a little confused while watching this because I haven't heard they hit Christmas song Christmas with a capital C buy Go Fish great go fish does that mean I can pick another song Christmas with a capital C spreads it's holiday I mean Christmas cheer in another we're so persecuted victim complex film about a small-town mayor who goes up against the evil liberal who wants to outlaw the nativity and the word Christmas that's literally the plot of last ounce of courage I think these two movies should sue each other and while alec baldwin me do a good trump impression daniel Baldwin's inclusion in this film proves that he does a great Stephen Baldwin impression oh and shock of all shocks yep you don't need me to tell you that the see in this movie stands for crap they're got that joke out of the way the film takes place in a small Alaska town if you look closely you can see a dress Elba and Kate Winslet banging production designer Harold Krunk later went on to direct God's not dead which must be why the set of this film is covered in the blood of atheists the director of this film however is a man named Helmut sleppy big trucks coming up through here paddles comes frankly I think these characters shouldn't go outside without a helmet Ted McGinley plays Mayor Dan Reid and his world is about to be interrupted by a Baldwin you know I heard you were mayor but it turns out you're the handyman honey you can't trust the rumor mill okay you were on The Sopranos Baldwin plays the wealthy Mitch bright who returns to town after being gone for 20 years only in a war on Christmas movie with the villain have a last name that's another word for smart there is already tension here yeah how's Kristen doing here it comes she's good our kids are good too hey Daniel Baldwin's gonna bang your wife bro this town loves two things snow and the word Christmas moving van isn't exactly a home for the holidays oh you said holiday instead of Christmas better make a fucking movie about it um meanwhile I'm just taking it easy today Christmas cup is coming up you entering of course me too good luck fuck are you two anyway back to the Stepford family I'm gonna be the angel haha you are you're an angel and the Christmas program dad that means I get line Wow oh I'm sorry oh can you help set the table you're all robots and if the kids delivery here is any indication I don't think she should have lines in the play is it just me or does it look like these characters live in a tree ooh now I know why Mitch was interested in Dan's wife it's sort of Kathleen Turner Oh do share Vaughn pop stars the Sun I guess okay what's wrong with you all the girls are eating these vampire books I don't get it thanks old person writing dialogue for a teenager I can see why they're giving Mitch so much shit for being rich this family looks so poor let's fill the son in get along too well unfortunately you've had a highschool rival it's not as bad as my college rivals they put liquid to heat my jockstrap and took away our status on the Greek Council admittedly Ted McGinley has a natural likability that makes them a much better lead than last ounce of courage which starred a character that used patriotism as a cover for his micro penis mitch has ideas though on how the coffee shop can make more money switch to red cups so the idiots will protest it by purchasing the product low McKinley may be a likeable enough actor the man playing his brother Greg on the other hand and there's something in the air now I really know why not everyone celebrates Christmas this guy I find your your ideals to be wildly conservative compared to the rest of the country this but yet they went to Berkeley and lived in San Francisco for 10 years they take that education and yeah that sweater that beard that performance I think you'd really like San Francisco maybe the movie is really progressive after all it has a gay Jesus anyway you you ought to come yeah no one believes you're really interested in that waitress how is it that the actor who has it the best in this movie is the animal that's dead and stuffed but uh-oh more tension a formal complaint has been filed about the town Christmas decorations you complain about Christmas oh wait the Nativity is actually protected by being celebratory deism okay movie over then just kidding it's not over not if gay Jesus can help it and he's bringing his tolerance and he's bringing his open- like they do right and the first thing he does is get a load of our nativity scene that we'd had for 50 years and he's like oh gee we got to sue somebody because you know what if some child innocently gets a glimpse of the baby Jesus yes why don't you go break a Keurig about it let's go after those I don't know people that say God bless you after you sneeze why not because what if I'm an atheist and it's like hey I wanna get sick without divine intervention right well let me tell you something brother I mean it's not like it's a real issue like lesbian Cubs Christians happen to have started the United States of America and if they think that they're going to take this without a fight with the Reed Brothers they go wrong and they better get prepared that's um forget it we all know where this leads that guy really just wants to burn a bunch of witches everyone wants to kowtow to Mitch because this might be taken to the Supreme Court it already has put up your nativity scene no one cares oh damn more of this shit whiskey together you mean race if you want no it's what you want because you have some weird thing about wanting to beat me go back to gage 'yes' pretending to hit on the waitress they had better chemistry so Dan decides to have a chat with the evil character that's just there for the audience to use Daniel Baldwin as an avatar for his brother Alec I find that most of you followers are the most unforgiving unloving even bigger than people I've ever seen that we're already done a name-calling well the movies making a good point in that not every conservative or Christian is some kind of bigoted monster but every West Coast liberal wants to destroy Christmas oh no the shops have to take down the word Christmas which why there's nothing wrong with being more inclusive season's greetings yeah it works for everybody doesn't work for me oh you poor widow Dean no one gives a shit if you say Merry Christmas but you've got a whole news network dedicated to crapping your panties over the word holiday no one's forcing you to say either one and leave Seinfeld the fuck out of this movie this is a movie for people who would be offended by a snowman who wasn't built to kneel during a Christmas parade happy holidays what Greg yeah Oh someone's triggered the important thing is he doesn't cause a scene I gotta say there's really only one holiday that makes me happy in December well mean ninety-eight percent of America what could it be bullshit holidays don't count it was then that Greg decided to come out as a white Christmas supremacist Christmas is the only holiday in December that makes me wanna get up and shout from the rooftops you heard him everyone should be forced to say Merry Christmas whatever stops gay Jesus from pitching another bitch fit he's really sensitive you know oh and Mitch is running for mayor now guess there's an election going on that is until he gets sued by Tim buck three for his campaign slogan this singing angel shell see he asks her to come down not because she is religious but because her singing is shattering store windows but not if Greg can stop him that was assault are you serious buddy you're bigger with known you were in high school thank you mm-hmm tell me more about being a wuss guy who had a public outburst over someone saying happy holidays you two are in so much trouble now if we can't get some folks together to talk about it we'll come in after tonight I don't think so you and Gabriel here are grounded you can't grow why not you're a fucking child that's right the guy wearing a Christmas onesie thinks you're a fucking child if this keeps going you might have to acknowledge other holidays exist what are we supposed to do how am I supposed to put up you know we put up a menorah and then we put up the Kwanzaa I don't even know what that symbol is whoa whoa other religions want to join in too as awful as last ounce of courage was the characters came right out and said we don't want just our religion to be able to openly celebrate the holiday season but all other religions is well this movie would shoo away a menorah with a broom cuz we're all a bunch of God haters we're supposed to bow down to these God haters there's where we want to teach our children disrespect for our country and authority Oh so what do you think we should do about this cuz this is an injustice I don't think you really believe this is an example of injustice you Oh more comedy spare me that and if I'm not mistaken here supposed to be across honey which is why I got trapped babysitting actually they're the ones babysitting you because you're a man baby no no don't bring your love interest around gay Jesus he's about to bitch himself out in the mirror because the actor Brad Stein also acted in a movie that gasp had the word holiday in it is he better than that than he is in this film you look at me I'm just a girl trying not to stop anywhere or just court because I have no socks do not be afraid this is your hero this guy is so unappealing and so detestable that the movie succeeds in doing the opposite of what it's set out to do I want to outlaw Christmas just to spite this guy but anyway let's sort of name drop the title Christmas starts with a capital C the seed comes from a named Christ yes no other holidays begin with a capital letter oh we're not done with the awkward house play yet I think what you do is can go into the barn T Lacey Chabert is never using Christian mingle ever again as this mental breakdown continues there's a look that says I am firing my agent so hard he'll never represent another actor in this town again oh and here's a doll I totally don't have the kind of skeletons in my closet that should keep me from teenagers though Dan's wife has the bright idea that maybe they should start helping out their fellow man instead of whining about Mitch no we're not saying we roll over we just prove him wrong by action not arguments I don't know what that means yeah because you're too busy playing the victim during fucking Christmas anyway what was the name of this movie again what is this Christmas with a capital C look like it looks like a shitty movie that keeps cutting back to Greg for no reason and me as the donkey thank you I'm well aware you're playing a jackass they show Mitch by hanging up their own banners because that's much easier than just putting the merry christmas' went back up it's nice they're doing good deeds because they want to be good people as opposed to simply showing up Mitch bright oh wait they're only doing this to show up Mitch bright they're not being creepy towards baristas hi Josie hi last time I was in here I can accidentally stepped on your chairs with my muddy boots and made a big scene I remember yeah it's like watching a pure flix spin on Charlie and the waitress from It's Always Sunny why is this happening this will show that Mitch will give him a present and if he's not home we'll look through his windows now if you'll excuse us the world's worst judge is ruling on this complaint off the record I'll tell you that I don't personally want to make a ruling against Jesus and Mary especially at Christmastime you could add to this as a holiday display and include elements of a non-religious nature or elements that are of other faiths with all due respect your honor all three of those are ruining our town's traditions that we've had over 50 years come Christmas time it's tradition and public drunkenness Oh people you know going on those shoestring budget transportation tours together but your widowed ladies you forgot your helmets again turns out the reason Mitch hates Christmas is that he's all alone much like someone who would leisurely watch a movie like Christmas with a capital C if this were a real movie Greg would be played by William Sanderson and he'd be the serial killer he was meant to be oh and the daughter spills the beans on Mitch living alone in a near-empty house from which he looked through his window that really makes sense I think this makes for a very interesting story don't you know so they tracked down Mitch's former employers to get some backstory weird and all I know is is that he ended up investing in something you shouldn't have I told him not to invest in 50-foot women I still don't care about the teen subplot what's up man you know that girl I was telling you about she got a restraining order against us because of gay Jesus's performance dad how come there aren't any movies about fictitious enemies trying to take away the phrase happy Chanukah well because our movie is made for babies and babies need movies too son time for the big ski competition thanks for reminding me I'd be better off dead than watching this I bet this is filmed with style I don't think the cameraman knows how to ski why is this film so shitty this race has the intensity of slowly walking across an empty street I suppose it's nice to have one winner in a movie of losers so many of these movies have the pivotal moment where the parent races to the kids recital this is the only one I've seen where the pivotal moment is the parent leaving during the kids recital that's bizarre even for me and last year I saw a Christmas movie in which this happened during the Christmas play god bless you guys a fucking snuff film sorry honey but Daniel Baldwin is much more handsome than anything in your play mitch has confronted his loneliness and now knows the true meaning of Christmas which is ruined one more time by the girls terrible singing ah man this is just like how the Grinch Stole Christmas only if the who's in Whoville started breathing fire over someone saying season's greetings now Mitch could be all alone and a fan of shitty movies you know we gotta put these out right we bought it from the town got permission to put it up in the public place I'm not ashamed of Jesus Mitch never gonna be let him get a word out first you masturbatory persecuted dick and yes this guy was also in that movie that's called the persecuted bitches decided to drop out of the race and become a City Councilman instead another right man for the job will you help us they still hate each other and then the statues magically changed their faces to show their reactions to watching the movie Christmas with a capital C oh don't worry there's more we're go figure a white Christmas supremacist would probably also be a shitty stand-up comedian Hey Merry Christmas you mr. Lowenstein you know why there wasn't about a religion it was about something of the culture we thought was so valuable and we all do together even if I disagreed with the religion behind it because it was good so let me get this straight forcing someone to say Happy Holidays bad but forcing someone to say Merry Christmas which according to you also isn't religious good because we wouldn't want to make you feel uncomfortable I expected subtlety out of a movie from the writer of Kevin psorbos the family man that movie about a moms night out curing postpartum depression and the one that's not that bad actually oh did I not show you the movie wrapping up the relationship between gay Jesus and the waitress well that's because the movie never cut back to that boy in this film love sure did triumph over political correctness no really that's what the quote from movie guide says four stars love triumphs over political correctness these people made a movie out of the concept of a store owner saying happy holidays who's the whitey little bitch now again and no one gives a shit what you say say whatever fucking greeting you want and if anyone gives you shit over saying happy holidays or Merry Christmas or a happy Christmas on a Kwanzaa then that person's an asshole oh I guess some people give a shit for every one person who gets mad at Merry Christmas there's five thousand jackasses saying their name is Merry Christmas to a Starbucks employee I'm starting to hate Christmas movies as much as I hate wearing these onesies and I have several more Christmas movies to get through though I doubt any of them will be as man-baby pandering is this film all right your role Donald Trump all right you want to see more cinema snob episodes you like movie reviews from people in cars how about animated cat detectives be sure to subscribe to our YouTube channel at slash stoned gremlin productions follow us on Twitter at the cinema snob or check out our homepage at the cinema snob comm and you guessed correctly I am a little drunk

50 thoughts on “Christmas with a Capital C – The Cinema Snob

  • "I'm not saying we just roll over, I'm saying we just prove them wrong by action, not argument." Does this sound to anyone else like an advocacy of domestic religious terrorism?

  • You know those horror flicks where the lead characters stumble into a small town in the middle of nowhere filled with cultists that want to kill them? Purr Flix would find a way to make a movie where the homicidal cultists are the heroes and the "invaders" are the evil liberals trying to take away their traditions. The movie will end with them being sliced open while christmas music plays.

  • After dealing with all three Snob reviews of Neil Breen movies, this feels like a review of a emmy nominated classic.

  • “There’s what we want to teach are children disrespect their country and authority” if the authority is ruining their country yes do disrespect them.

  • A better title for this 'movie' would be "Triggered Christians offended by something that is not real" also, who allowed that child to sing?! She splinters my soul

  • 08:40 Nothing is wrong with saying Season's Greetings. President Eisenhower loved saying Seasons Greetings.

  • 07:17 Coming from a person whose great at U.S. history, Christians didn't create and/or start America. The Puritans from England who didn't what to be a part of the church of England were the one that came here in the 1600's like Jamestown in 1607 and Plymouth Rock in 1620. Because they didn't want people shaving faith into their faces. That's why who have freedom of religion in the Bill of Rights. People should know better.

  • Damn, first Daniel Roebuck in Let There Be Light, then Clarence Gilyard Jr in A Matter Of Faith and now Nancy Stafford in Christmas With A Capital C. Why is it that good actors who were main characters in Matlock star in crap like this? As someone who loves that show, it's kinda saddening.

  • I'm Agonstic, and for a good reason. I grew up in a very religious family who, in my younger years (around five or six) told me that the world is full of heathens and should keep me isolated from other kids. It didn't help because around that time, I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, so it was hard enough to communicate with my own family members without making a complete ass out of myself. I was beaten with a curling iron because I "took the Lord's name in vain". My grandmother, who is more of a religious nut fiend, banned rock music from the home, which was the only thing keeping me from falling into a deep depression. I started hanging around other ethnicities and would not approve of that. They were also avid readers of Breitbart and Drudge Report. They bitch about how millennials ( I'm barely out of high school, myself) have no semblance in awareness of the "real world" and what's expected of them. "They're oversensitive, entitled snowflakes." Excuse me, the right-wing are probably the whiniest of adult babies of all time, not counting the trolls who just poke fun at liberalism as a concept. They completely ignore others' religions, that there's people out there who don't profess their love to Jesus. If Hitler had it his way, the Jews, Muslims and gypsies would be annihilated while the Protestant and Roman (not Byzantine) Catholic would thrive and copulate, and breed stupidity. This is the way they want shit done. HH = evil; MC = kind, lion-hearted Jesus freaks.
    So yeah. They're part of that camp where "white, upper-middle class conservatives are the true minorities/victims, BLM is a hate group that is whining about somethings that has been resolved since the mid-seventies and people who say "happy holidays" are not true Christians and no the words are not interchangeable, and should be given a gun and shot in the face." To them the world is run by Satanist that implore of a 1984-esque New World Order and it's a shame we don't have chain-smoking racists and homophobes that grace our television screens like John Wayne. They fear of the impossible and this is all thanks to cultural Marxists such as Lena Dunham and Michael Moore, Communist/Socialist (yeah, they do not know the difference between the two) like Bernie Sanders, Andrew Yang and AOC (Oh the horror!) I do not represent a conservative or liberal leaning party. I find the hypocrisy between the two, and are collaborating more often. They are both supported by stuffy, obstinate, bourgeoisie lobbyist who in turn have full financial backing over massive corporations instead of the small, independent businesses they say they're behind as blood brothers.

  • The sequel will probably involve Dan and Greg/Gay Jesus going around slaughtering any minorities who don't celebrate Christmas, with a subplot about Makayla/Opposite Caitlyn Mayer becoming a stunt double for Big G in Doraemon (because they both sing like shit).

  • "We're supposed to bow down to these god-haters?" Ah yes, the Jews are famously anti-god. That's why they worship god. And of course, everyone who wants you to be more inclusive? Obviously they hate god too! And atheists? Well, they don't believe in god and you can't hate a thing you don't believe exists, but by gum I'm sure they'll find a way!

  • 11:05 Why does it seem like Moon Man wrote the line with his Triple K Mafia by his side. Shit, I rhymed.

  • Christians hijacked the christmas celebration (rather, the winter solstice-celebration, which is older than christianity) from european pagans. They should look in the mirror before whining about everyone else taking "their" celebration from them, lol.

  • The thing that really gets me about this war on Christmas bullshit is that merry Christmas and happy holidays kinda of mean that exact same thing.

  • Easter starts with a capital E. It's for the germanic pagan goddess Eostre of the Dawn. I so want someone to make an "Easter with a capital E" spoof movie.

  • 17:07 Brad's reference to my favorite movie of all time made me so happy 😊

  • What’s wrong with saying happy holidays anyways ? I’m Christian and i see no problem with it. It’s all inclusive to the other holidays

  • Personally, I don't mind either "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays." Using either is up to you. But when one group gets upset over the other, I can't help but roll my eyes. I'll use "merry Christmas" but my Dad, a much more devout Christian uses "Happy Holidays."
    In short, Happy Holidays is STILL relatable to Christians. Do you celebrate New Years? Did you forget that New Years is literally a WEEK after Christmas?
    Don't get mad about "Happy Hollidays."
    I was once accosted for saying Happy Holidays, at work, where I was REQUIRED to. (The founder of the company was christian, but VERY secular.)
    Those who get bothered by it need to calm down, and stop thinking everyone is out to offend them. The world doesn't revolve around YOU and your beliefs.

  • Here's a drinking game. Take a shot every time a protagonist in this movie says the word "me."

    I thought these people were supposed to be Christian. All they do is talk about how Christmas is their favorite holiday.

  • Actually, Christ isn't a name. In fact, last names weren't common for anyone but the nobility until the Napoleonic era. Christ was actually a title taken from Christos meaning "Anointed One," and was commonly used for high priests who were anointed with fragrant oils. Also, July Fourth was taken from the name Julius; does that mean we should celebrate Rome on Independence Day?

  • Ah!

    I love these movies!

    Gives us a look on a alternate dystopian earth!

    Sci-fis are the Best!~

  • We know how much Christians love feeling persecuted. They even make films about it, even though theirs is the religion with the biggest amount of followers.

    7:31 yes because this witch feels threatened by that clown.

    What upsets me is that the people in this movie act exactly how they think the non-Christians act (forcing their beliefs, complaining about the change in words, etc, name calling etc..) To be truthful, I have been threatened more by people when I say "Happy Holidays" rather than "Merry Christmas."

    "We have to put up the Kwanzaa… I don't even know what that symbol is."' Is it too much to ask writers to research to look up the word, "Mkeka?" That took me all of 30 seconds.

  • Wait, are you telling me that a guy who just moved into town lives alone in a near empty house? He's an unmarried person who just moved! What did you expect there to be a bunch of friends in his house when he's not there?

  • I am, like, *soooo* offended that you didn't mention Yule or Ramadan….. shoulda been "Merry ChristmaRamaKwanzaChannukYulemas"

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