Climbing Up Namsan Tower


It’s time for Wonderful Adventure Now Korea! The NamSan Tower Edition. [music] Okay, let’s go over our ground rules. Number one: we have to take a picture of us WANKing in front of Korean Idols. Number two: we have to compete to find the most creative Engrish. And number three: we have a random showdown in which the loser suffers dire consequences! HU HU HU HU A HOO U HWA HAHA So for last week’s competition, Martina picked Batoost and I picked Jay Park, and all of Batoost beat Jay Park, unfortunately. They crushed him. -Yes, they did. -They crushed him. But Simon’s Diet Pigis won. -The Diet Pigis. Alright, so, off to NamSan Tower. -Where is Nam San Tower? WHEEEEERE ISSS NAMMM SANNN TOWEEERRR? There is NamSan Tower! [OSM impromptu cover of Itaewon Freedom] Guys? You know this. No? Welcome to NamSan Tower. Actually, I lied. We’ve learned from experience last time that there can be a long line-up waiting for the cable car. So this time, we’re gonna eat before we go, so that we don’t starve to death waiting in line. And here comes our food~ -Yay! -Modum jeon. I love me some kimchi jjigae. So, what did we order today? First, we ordered modum jeom, which just means mixed fried stuff. So we’ve got some tofu, we’ve got peppers, we’ve got probably fish balls – a bunch of stuff in there. And we also kimchi jjigae, which is like a kimchi soup. It’s very hot. As you can see, it’s still bubbling. And all this other stuff that you see here came for free! [sexy Korean food time music break] That meal was delicious, but kimji jjigae always has the possibility of leaving red specks in your teeth, so how are my teeth, fine? Oh, they’re fine. How are mine? [scary music] Okay, good. I don’t want us looking ridiculous on camera. To NamSan Tower! Okay, so for real, where is NamSan Tower? We know how to get there by walking from exit three, but we tried exit four because supposedly there’s this magical escalator that will take us there. But we can’t find it. Let’s continue searching, Simon. And don’t die, ‘cause you’re coming up behind on death traps. Well, gosh! It’s a good thing that we can read Korean, because essentially, any tourist that comes here would have no idea that this is telling them that it’s the NamSan escalator. They’d be like “Where do I go at this point?” Plus we’ve been walking uphill for like twenty minutes. Look behind us. This is the crappiest escalator I’ve ever been on! I have to walk up it. Is that it there? -Uh-huh. Is this the escalator I’ve so heard of? Isn’t this like an elevator? – It’s kinda lame. – What the heck? We’ve arrived. And we are very close. This is the cable car right here, actually. That’s pretty cool. Normally we have to walk, like, up that giant mountain. To the NamSan Tower mobile! [music] Oh my god, guys. Do you know what this is? This is totally the cable car from Boys Over Flowers. This is the scene where Gu Jun Pyo and Geum Jan Di fall asleep inside the cable car. Ahhh. I was inside of it. And then this is the view they look at. Simon, are you ignoring my Boys Over Flowers story? Son of a– This is the very machine. This is the one that Geum Jan Di bought Gu Jun Pyo’s coffee fro– GU JUN PYO!! – coffee from. Simon we should totally reenact the whole thing together. I disagree. -I think it would be awesome. -I disagree. Do you want me to turn into aegyo-zilla? Don’t do that. Hi. -You’re late. -I never said I would be here on time. Well you’re here. -Yeah, well I was really busy with lots of other stuff to do. Doesn’t matter. You still came! -You look cold. Let me buy you a drink. Get off me, you pervert. My virgin body! You’re such a gross. – It was an accident! – Stop it. Get your hands off me. Here’s your 30,000 won coffee, Gu Jun Pyo. Geum Jan Di, this isn’t 30,000 won coffee, this is 50 cents from the vending machine. The view is just as good here as your sky lounge, you pretentious ***hole. What was that? Oh, nothing. Look at all the stars in the sky. Oh ho ho, Geum Jan Di, you idiot. Those aren’t stars. Those are satellites. What do I possibly see in you, you jerk? What was that? -Nothing. That didn’t turn out like I imagined it would. It must have been because I was missing the curly hair. [music] Hey, Simon! -There is NamSan Tower. I can’t tilt up. Oh God, the camera’s gonna fall on my face. [music] We’re gonna go to that special location from one of the Korean dramas where you write something special on a lovey-dovey lock and then you lock it on there. And if you lock it there, you’re supposed to be in love forever. Let’s do it! -Let’s do it! [music] Okay, we’re all prepared. We brought our locks with our special messages. Simon. Martina. And the Spudgy. -Spudgy has his own lock as well. The three of us are together of course. -We’re family. People that are fans of this drama come here and lock this onto the fence, but I think the fence is gone. -Got trees now. Hey, you ready? Let’s read our messages to each other. Let’s make everyone at home puke. Okay, I’m gonna read mine to you first. ‘Kay, go for it. Dear Martina, thank you for being both my wife and my best friend whom I laugh with, live with, and love every day, Simon. Yay. Thanks, duckie. Lemme read my message to you. Simon, even though we’ve been married for almost five years, it feels like we are a newly dating couple, sharing fresh memories and tummy-tingling butterflies. I love you, my sweet Dothraki man-warrior. -That’s me. -Love, Martina And let’s read Spudgy’s message. -Let’s see what it says. -What’s it say? I LOVE MY MOM. Spudgy. That’s what it says Spudgy’s obsessed with his mom. And uh, there’s a very small portrait of Spudgy. Spudgy draws himself. Just in case you didn’t know who it was from the signature. Well he put his E backwards and he put his G backwards. And he’s a dog. We’re lucky he can write to begin with. -How did he become so literate is what I wanna know? Literacy 4 Lyfe! [music] They turned off the lights. -The whole tower went off, and we’re all trapped here in the pitch black. Oh, Martina, stop touching me. Oh, ew. You’re gro– OH. Hello there. We’re the only one with lights~ Well, F***. Turns out that the wall of locks was just above us. And they didn’t actually cut down the wall like I thought they did, but they got all these locks here, they got probably like 100,000 locks, and we put it on the stupid tree. Um, can we change locations? -I’m grumpy. [music] Okay, I definitely have a winning Engrish right here. If you find mechanical troubles, you can ask to the front desk. We will do our VEST to solve the problem. Why would you do the vest? Why wouldn’t you do the full jacket? -Okay, I just wanna mention– Do the full vest! I would do the pants if not the vest. -I FOUND IT. I could do the pants, maybe the socks, but why the vest? -I FOUND IT. Simon stole it from me. Winner~ Okay, so I picked my idol. This guy here, I’m pretty sure, is from CM Blue. I don’t know his name though, but that’s what I’m picking. And I’m not telling. Okay, I’ve chosen my English. We kindly request customer’s understanding and participation into the energy saving movement for preventing the electricity disaster in winter in spite of small inconvenience. That was all one sentence. It’s the Peppero Tower challenge throw-down. So here are the rules: we have two minutes to build the tallest tower, since we are at NamSan Tower out of two packages of Peppero. Okay, you ready? Sirii: Okay. Two minutes and counting. [quietly intense music begins] So, that won’t work very well. I already feel like I’m falling dangerously behind. Shoot. Oh god, oh god. I already lost a piece. Oh my god, my whole tower fell down. You know what? This heater does suck, because it’s blowing shit around on my thing. Oh! Timer done. Timer done, let go, let go, let go. That is a clear winner, look at that. I got four layers up, and you got diddly butt-kiss. I’d like to mention that this was really unfair. Yours was not shaking at all. I built this tower like this, and when I looked over, this actually blew like this and rolled off the edges. WINNER! I finally win a challenge. She lost. Lookit. Loser. I finally win! I win~ This is a stupid challenge. It was unfair. There was a wind disadvantage. It’s like golfing in the wind, and I have like the windy spot and you don’t have anything. STUPID! Okay, Martina. -I’m grumpy. -You better roll the dice now. -I’m not coming out. Come on. Do it, roll your dice. Let’s see what your punishment is. Oh, it’s gone. Can’t see it anymore. That works on Spudgy. And it lands on… six. -What is six? -Oh no, really? [triumphant music from the heavens] One, two, three, four, five, siiiix! What does it say? -No punishment. -That is so lame. That is so freaking lame. WHY? Why? You never had a punishment. This is so dumb. Simon, people behind you are looking weird. -I hate this. I finally won my first challenge, fair and square. I used engineering and my intelligence to help me win that. And then I’m ready for Martina to get a punishment, and then she didn’t get a punishment. Want me to pick your nosey? -I want you to stop it! Grumpy! This is so lame. [nose-eating sounds] I got your head! Hey, Martina. Seeing as we’re going home now, you don’t really seem to have a K-pop idol for this week, do you? So it looks like I win and you lose. Is that the case? Let me just reach into my bag to get some refreshing green tea out for a second. That is totally not fair. -Oh, Hyun Bin, is that you? Secret Garden? Hyun Bin? Did I purchase this green tea bottle when Simon wasn’t looking? I sure did. So perhaps some of you clever, clever people might have noticed that we didn’t actually go UP NamSan Tower. -There are a couple reasons for that. Number one, we’ve been up there three times already. And number two, we’re cheap. -Yeah, it’s gonna cost us a lot of money to go up that tower, we already paid for the cable cars. Plus, the observation deck that has all the walks? That’s a really beautiful view of Seoul, so if you don’t have a lot of money, just do what we did! So that’s it for this week’s edition of Wonderful Adventure Now Korea! Don’t forget to vote for your favorite Engrish and for your favorite Korean icon. And don’t forget to subscribe for more WANKing adventures! And if you guys have any ideas of where you want us to go, leave them in the comment section. Woot! -Woot? That’s your ending woot? -Poot. -Poot? That’s the sound of a bum smack! -Shoot. -Goot? Oh, I didn’t even get a real word. [music]

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