Dealing With A Narcissist: Emotional Freedom in Action

you I'm really happy to introduce you to my new book emotional freedom and one of the topics I discuss our emotional vampires and this is a continuation of what I discussed in positive energy so I wanted to go through how you can tell what an emotional vampire is and what to do about it and so the first emotional vampire I want to bring up with you is the narcissist and this is somebody who thinks the world revolves around them it's about me me me me me and narcissists can be very charming and intelligent and they reel you in with their charm but the minute you don't go along with their program or the minute you disagree with them then they told turn a cold shoulder to you or they start judging you or a very critical of you and the thing with a narcissist I really want you to understand is that narcissists lack a kind of emotional chip they lack empathy they do not have the empathy to be to understand what you're going through so if you come back to a narcissist and you say you know I wish you would express your emotions to me I wish you wouldn't withdraw they do not get this and so as a psychotherapist when I work with narcissus there are very tough nut to crack because they they are very resistant to change and so here are some criteria from emotional freedom about how do you know if you're involved with a narcissist all right you have to ask yourself does the person act as if life revolves around him or her do I have to compliment him or her to get the attention or approval does he or she constantly steer the conversation back to himself does he or she downplay my feelings or interests if I disagree does he become cold or withholding if you answer yes to one or two of these questions it's likely you're dealing with a narcissist responding three to three or more questions with yes says to me that you're really involved with the narcissist in your life and so it's really important that you develop these strategies to deal with them number one you have to lower your expectations as often times people go in and they have narcissus husbands or narcissus bosses and they expect to have some kind of emotional communion with them do not expect that is not going to happen narcissus only respond if you do it according to their way so if you have let's say a narcissist boss and you want to take a vacation the only way really to get your goals met is to frame it in terms of how it will serve the narcissist for instance you would say you know I really think this would benefit the company if I left at this particular time and another time and so if you put it that way and I know as you know you probably hate to do that that's the only way of getting through to a narcissist but I think it's important for you when you make decisions about getting into a relationship getting into a job that you consider if you're dealing with a narcissist because this is someone who can limit you extremely and if you want to have an intimate relationship a heartfelt loving intuitive relationship I hate to break this to you but it will not happen with a narcissist narcissists don't change or if they do it is very very slow and so in terms of developing your emotional freedom in being able to lead a happy joyous life to have love in your life and to have an intuitive connection with yourself really ascertain in yourself if you revolve with the narcissus so you can at least make a conscious mindful decision about whether or not you want to stay in this relationship or else how to deal with it in the most positive way I hope this has been helpful to you you you

33 thoughts on “Dealing With A Narcissist: Emotional Freedom in Action

  • The moment you said "he", I knew I wouldn't be buying your book. I thought you were more than a political sellout. Of all people – you should know better. Of all people, you should know the majority of narcissists are women, ones that project unto men. Of course this means part of your sales will derive from the narcissist herself. Shame is all you should feel. Unsubscribing. And I will report you as a fraud. And you are an empath? I doubt it.

  • Thank you so much, Judith! This is the most and absolutely to the point, clear and exact explanation !and advice I have ever read and heard up to this moment. Yes. I am blessing you. Namaste

  • Dr. Judith is an expert on Narcissism. Her article in Psych Today described my Narc "friend" to the exact Tee. I don't trust some with the "DR" license, but this woman knows her Narc stuff very well. Wish I bought her book 20 years ago (if it was out then). My life would have been much better.

  • "if you answered yes to one or two of theses, chances are they are a narcisssist"

    So….. everyone?

  • I have just recently discovered that my "problem" is being an empath. wish I had known this info years ago and how narcs pray on "my kind". now I'm 10 yrs deep into a marriage with a NPD/BPD co-morbid and it's not anything like Disneyland.

  • There is no interacting with a narcissist, no contact, grey rock, it is poison and toxic especially to empaths. stay away

  • Dont listen to this stupid feminist woman i read the crap she wrote on the Huffington i guess the moron thinks narscism only applies to men. Old narcisist hagg probly got dumped and blames every thing on men. Eat shit judith whoreloff MD.

  • Like thousands and thousands of videos on the subject – informative but not transformative.  You can now identify a narcissist and be on to their game, but once you make the decision to get away from them, how do you STAY away from them and begin your own recovery, to return yourself back to you?  There’s precious little of this type of resource on the internet.  Here’s one that’s worked:  Search on youtube, Melanie Tonia Evans.

  • I'm a daughter of a narcissistic mother and siblings. My late father when he was alive he was the enabler. He never fought for me against my narc mother.  My youngest sister is the golden child who proudly wears that label.  13 or 14 years ago my sisters have cut themselves from my life which really is a blessing in disguise. My narc mother along with my enabling siblings including the golden child have excluded me out of family and holiday events which for a while had hurt me deeply but eventually accepted it and moved on.  For 5 months I have gone no contact with my narcissistic mother and it was the best decision that I ever made.  I even wrote her a letter to her when I broke things off with her.  Writing her that letter I knew that I had a better chance of getting my points across to her rather than in person.  I get flashbacks from time to time but overall I'm a lot smarter and stronger as I recover from the narcissistic abuse that I was subjected to. I even have my own You Tube channel so that I can not just share my story but to expose my narcissistic family for who they are.

  • The book was very good but let me say this, if you are a child of a narcissist or was married to one or living with one the chances are you are going to need psychiatric help to get away from them.  A narcissist is a lost cause and in some cases can be extremely dangerous.  My mother was a narcissist and extremely toxic.  I recovered only after I went for intensive psychiatric help and only after I went NO CONTACT and I mean NO CONTACT with this woman.  The treatment plan was never to get her into therapy and to go no contact because she was that toxic.  I am free of the narcissist for five years now and the quality of my life is a thousand times better.

  • I would be willing to bet that if a narcissist watched this she would start identifying other people as such and be blind to it in herself.

  • Most narcissists seem to be alcoholics because it accommodates illuminating their relentless egos, karma's a bitch isn't it assholes? hahahahaha

  • I have met enough of those narcissists….men as well as women! Boy, your description is amazing! Thank you!

  • ……you just described my father, he fits all the criterion 🙂 thank you for all the work you do, I´m sure it´s helpful for many people :))

  • Gee sounds like most men that i known in my life, they are so upset when you mention any truths 
    always kidding them self's i just let them carry on. One day karma comes along, they have to face the most terrifying  event in there life's "old age" and nobody wants to know them
    and their biggest enemy of all  is called  "reality" 
    Narcissistic people not worth knowing keep away     

  • I'm struggling dealing with a workmate who manifest this disorder. I want to get rid of him but it's not possible coz we work together. It's really drain ing and sometimes can make you crazy. Anyone advice how to deal with this personality disorder.

  • I had a narcissistic home room teacher my senior year, I was never gladder to graduate and get out of her class. She was also really mean. 

  • I'm trying to figure out if someone is a narcissist.  They don't steer the conversation back to themselves but the conversation has to be on a subject they approve of or I quickly get ignored/cold shoulder falling asleep, distraction.  If I show outside interests other than what they approve of I get the cold shoulder.   

  • Thank you for making these videos.  I just left a narcissist who was also bipolar.  We were together 3 years before I realized I couldn't make the situation any better.   I wrote a song about the experience-  link here; don't remember me  It helped to heal me. maybe it will do the same for somebody else 🙂

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