Elvis, Babe Ruth, And The Rest Of Trump’s Medal Of Freedom Winners


LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME
BACK TO THE SHOW, EVERYBODY. YOU KNOW, WHAT IS THIS
WEDNESDAY? ON FRIDAY, TRUMP IS AWARDING THE
PRESIDENTIAL MEDALS OF FREEDOM. IT’S THE HIGHEST HONOR A
CIVILIAN CAN RECEIVE FROM THE PRESIDENT. EXCEPT, OF COURSE, NEVER BEING
PHOTOGRAPHED IN THE SAME ROOM WITH HIM. THE THING IS, IT’S A REALLY
WEIRD CHEX MIX OF RECIPIENTS, INCLUDING N.F.L. HALL OF FAMERS
ROGER STAUBACH AND ALLAN PAGE. ALSO, MIRIAM ADELSON, WIFE OF
BILLIONAIRE REPUBLICAN DONOR SHELDON ADELSON; SENATOR ORRIN
HATCH; THE LATE SUPREME COURT JUSTICE ANTONIN SCALIA; BABE
RUTH; AND ELVIS. THAT’S A CRAZY LIST OF PEOPLE
( LAUGHTER ) THE ONLY THING THEY ALL HAVE IN
COMMON IS NONE OF THEM KNOW WHAT ORRIN HATCH DID TO GET THE
PRESIDENTIAL MEDAL OF FREEDOM. THESE PRESIDENTIAL MEDALS OF
FREEDOM ARE KIND OF LIKE THE ROSES ON “THE BACHELOR” IN THAT
IT’S NOT NORMAL TO GIVE THEM TO THIS MANY DEAD PEOPLE. AND, YET, ELVIS IS BEING HONORED
FOR DEFINING AMERICAN CULTURE TO BILLIONS OF ADORING FANS AROUND
THE WORLD. OR MAYBE THE PRESIDENT HAS
SECRET FILES THAT ELVIS IS STILL ALIVE, AND HE’S JUST DOING
THIS TO FLUSH HIM OUT. THAT WOULD EXPLAIN WHY HE LEFT
THE MEDAL UNDER A BOX PROPPED UP BY A STICK. ( LAUGHTER )
YOU’VE BEEN SQUATCHED! SO, WHAT WERE THE CRITERIA FOR
PUTTING TOGETHER SUCH A RANDOM GROUPING OF PEOPLE? WELL, IT’S COMPLETELY AT THE
PRESIDENT’S DISCRETION AND– WAIT, I’M BEING TOLD TRUMP’S
JUST ADDED MORE RECIPIENTS, INCLUDING KID ROCK, TAN MOM, GUY
FIERI, RONALD McDONALD, THOSE FAT MOTORCYCLE TWINS, A PORN
STAR WHO DIDN’T TALK, AND A BUCKET OF CHICKEN. ( LAUGHTER )
( AS TRUMP ) “BUCKET OF CHICKEN, BUCKET–
BUCKET OF CHICKEN, TODAY WE HONOR YOUR SERVICE TO THE
COLONEL. IN A DIVIDED NATION, YOU BROUGHT
TOGETHER WHITE AND DARK MEAT IN AN EXTRA-VALUE MEAL OF
BROTHERHOOD. YOU TRULY WERE EXTRA CRISPY.”

100 thoughts on “Elvis, Babe Ruth, And The Rest Of Trump’s Medal Of Freedom Winners

  • Trump awarding a "medal of freedom". Now that's ironic. It's like Hitler awarding the Nobel Peace Prize… thanks Adolf!

  • A presidential medal of freedom means absolutely nothing from a senile Pinochet wannabe traitor. If for some strange reason he tried to offer me one, I would feel like a traitor for accepting it, it would feel like if Kim Jong Un or Ayatollah Khomeini or Maduro or Hitler tried to give me one. Also, Orrin Hatch? Really? trump is just trolling the nation with this shit.

  • Here's one I'd like to hear from Bill Maher:

    New Rule: Until republicans can definitively prove that they've relearned how taxation and governance work, they are barred from even proposing any policy that would affect either.

    republicans used to understand how to balance a budget.  They used to understand that politics is the ultimate game of compromise.  They used to understand that job 1 was getting shit done.  But now, they're a bunch of toddlers whose brains have yet to mature past the 2-year-old sociopathic stage of "If I throw a temper tantrum, I'll always get exactly what I want."

    From the debt ceiling hostage crisis, to the disgraceful ignoring of Merrick Garland, to the repeated and unnecessary tax cuts for the wealthiest citizens and corporations, to the repeated gutting of necessary federal programs, to the repeated and unnecessary and unasked-for increases in military funding, to massive gerrymandering and disenfranchisement of minorities, to the election of a textbook malignant, sociopathic narcissist, the gop has constantly and consistently shown that they don't even believe in government, or taxes, or the barest hint of polite social mores.  These are not the people you want representing your interests.

    I'd like to introduce you all to a psychological term, if I may.  Cluster B (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cluster_B_personality_disorders).  This is where the majority of the really dangerous personality disorders are.

    Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder will try to manipulate you by threatening to kill themself or others if you don't pay attention to them, like my girlfriend in high school did.

    Someone with Histrionic Personality Disorder will seduce you with easy sex, then fly into a rage when you tell them that that's all the relationship is based on, like my girlfriend in college.

    Someone with Antisocial Personality Disorder, aka a psychopath or sociopath, suffers from a complete lack of empathy, like my lawyer..  Sound familiar?  Then so too should Narcissistic Personality Disorder.  In fact, if you go down the 9-point checklist of signs and symptoms (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder#Signs_and_symptoms), it should become immediately that trump, in a first for him, satisfies every single one of them!

    Do you know how most people would deal with a dangerous, potentially violent Cluster B case?  They immediately report them to the proper authorities.  Do you know how the gop handled a dangerous, potentially violent Cluster B case?  They immediately made him the ultimate authority!  This is not the way you handle a serious mental defect.  These are not the people who you want handling your laws.  The inmates are no longer just running the asylum, they're on the board of directors, making the biggest profits off of the prison-industrial complex.

    You can't give more and more money to those vanishingly few who already have over 99% of it, then expect the remaining majority, who possess less than 1% of the total wealth of this country, to cover the costs of everything.  Amazon made one trillion dollars, completely tax-free last year, and the gop gave them more money through their latest tax-break.  The gop is very pointedly ignoring an Everest-sized gold nugget to go sifting through a dry lakebed in the Mojave desert.  These are not the people you want handling your money.

    I could go on and on about their projecting all their guilty faults onto everyone but themselves, like lindsey graham's "God, you want power, and I hope you never get it!"  No, sirrah, you and your party are the ones who see everything in absolutist, Machiavellian terms of power; the rest of us decent, altruistic, normal people see what's wrong, what you all have broken, and want to fix things, make the world better for everyone, leave the world in a better condition than when we came into it, not a smoldering hellscape not fit for any future generations.

    I could go on, but that's all the time I have.  Good night, and I hope we can make things better before it's too late.  It may already be too late.

  • At least Elvis actually did something worthy of recognition. He joined the military, voluntarily, AFTER becoming famous. No bone spur excuses for him! Plus the American culture thing, but really, I think showing that military service can also be done by people who are rich or famous, without any special privileges or exceptions, set a great example for others.

  • What a horrible precedent to award the MOF to GOP Mega-Donors like Adelson. They play a major role in setting the White House, GOP, Federal, and national political agendas. It's tragic that the root of the evil is virtually ignored. Elected GOP officials are effectively these donor's employees. House and Senate members who don't deliver what these donors want, don't get the check in from them that they feed off of. These Donors are the American equivalent to the Russian Oligarchs that are the real power behind Putin. These Donnors literally help choose and approve candidates to fill key government positions and set policies. This is not a Democracy. It's a "plutocracy". They are exploiters, not patriots.

  • I always enjoy the show whenever I see Stephen enjoying his time whilst doing the show. He’s so charismatic and funny. I love Colbert.

  • Geeeeeeezzzzz, please, he MUST go! After he goes everything he had touched must come undone and we never have to speak of him again.

  • I'm pretty sure the only ones really being honored here are Adelson and Hatch. The rest is just fluff, chosen to distract the public from those two and the reasons why they were chosen.

  • am I the only one that had to look it up to make sure that he wasn't actually giving the medal to the other people?

  • This jagoff Colbert is so juvenile why do people pay to see this scumbag. He is one of the funniest looking dudes thats for sure.

  • elvis was selected because dump is so much like nixon… ni xon and elvis both described  themselves as  self-made men who came from humble beginnings and worked hard for their success, and they both feel unappreciated by an American culture of the hippie movement, SDS, and Black Panthers; (elvis  wants Nixon to swear him in as an undercover agent)

  • I guess that's an expression of conservatism to dig up dead people to revere because you despise so much of the living. Also an act of fascism to try to co-opt easy targets that most people can get behind so nobody will notice the shitfucks you're promoting because of crony reasons.

  • SC – Very Funny, joking that Preposterous POTUS Deranged TRUMPUS would award the MOF to his Fantasy Dream Pin-Up, a Bucket of KFC. That's like suggesting that Roman Emperor Caligula would make his Horse a God! Hang on a minute, you mean Caligula actually did that? Is this another example of a Leak of Top Secret Plans from The Swamp? Has KFC donated BIGLY to TRUMP-PUSS MAXIMUS?

  • Some of those make sense. I like Elvis getting one. The rest don't really make sense. Especially Orrin Hatch. Literally all he has done is be vaguely evil

  • F*** hatch, he didn't deserve it! All he did in 40+ years was lobby on behalf of drug companies and claim missionaries were serving our country, like the same people who fight in wars.

  • This CRTV (I'm pretty sure it stands for Crying Republican TV) are advertising on your channel. They are spreading falsehoods in their ad, who knows what they'll say during the program. I just turn down the volume and let it run so they have to pay you top dollar for their ad that no one hears or sees. Kinda makes me smile

  • I feel like anything "Completely at the President's discretion' is something that needs additional people weighing in on it right now, because a puzzle where Trump is the only one who gets to solve it is…..concerning.

  • Trump gets most things wrong but he got it right with Elvis.. Fame and Wealth. Elvis was humble, and as far as wealth he was giving it to those in need as fast as he was earning it.. People with 1/100th of Elvis fame, talent, popularity and generosity walk around like they rule the world.

  • Trump needed to pick people who wouldn't decline an invitation to The White House. There is no honor in being honored by someone as dishonorable as Trump.

  • There aren't billions of adoring fans of Elvis. Millions, maybe. Someone needs to learn numbers before getting in the Oval Office.

  • You can't be the real Janet Jackson because she respected and loved Elvis.. You come across very cynical without being harsh or mean, but I bet that is how you really feel about Elvis.. Sad! Well Elvis couldn't help being white.. He grew up poor and lived in areas where all those elements were heard from his porch.. Country music, Gospel, Blues.. He soaked it up, and James Brown, BB King, Ike Turner, and so many great Black artists love and credit Elvis.. He opened the door wider so they became more accepted, and sold more records as a result.. He was so special, and remained humble throughout deep down.. Look for the positive Janet.. Peace

  • Elvis is the biggest and most celebrated star who ever lived. 1 billion records sold, Millions Tour is home each and every year, donated millions to worthy charities and people in need.. Culturally and musically he combined Country, Blues, and both white and black Gospel Music. He is just The real king.. Not like some fake royal king who inherits their position.. Elvis earned his crown.. He is more worthy than all these others, and it's about time he got this award. FACTS..

  • "If anyone says Elvis Prestley was racist, then they don't know a thing about about Elvis Prestley or music history." BB King. 1957 Jet Magazine interview with Elvis cleared him of that Sepia Magazine rumor, Elvis wasn't even in Boston. Can't really trust the media when they call someone a racist without facts.

  • Elvis Presley..American born dirt poor  little kid picked cotton in fields to survive..became.only entertainer ever to achieve over a billion records sold and still counting..only entertainer ever inducted into rock, gospel and country hall of fames…record  gold/platinum#1 hits…Graceland visited 2nd only to white house by people from all over the world…first satellite program televised in American history and watched by over one billion people opened door for black entertainers to get their music played on radio…changed American culture…

  • Elvis is the American Dream realized…Presley like no other is the example of what one can achieve in no other country on earth…he was/is ours…his legend lives on and always will…whether one is a fan…does not matter…he stands for no matter what or where you come from …here in America…your dream can come true.

  • Trump says he looked like Elvis when growing up. Gimme a break! Elvis did not have orange hair. Elvis did have two bellies and weigh 388 lbs. Elvis did not spray wet farts out his buttocks when walking around. More lies from Trump trying to make the public think he was handsome when he was younger.

  • Trump brags about winning and says people are going to get tired of winning. Well, what happened in the House of Representatives Mr. Donald Jackass Trump? Was that winning? I don't think so! I hope you people wake up soon. It's clear what Trump is doing. He is making the world a great place for China, and Russia while shitting on America.

  • Thank you President Trump. Single handed you have intensified American political awareness and reinvigorated American political comedy. Carlin would be proud. (Skeptical but proud.)

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