Half in the Bag Episode 109: Captain America: Civil War

half in the bag get out of here oh well Jay that was a really great film but so many weird casting choices casting choices back you me well for one nobody had giant beards General Lee was wearing some kind of metal outfit and General Grant looked like Chris Evans in a Captain America suit oh my god you thought that our Ken Burns made that great documentary they got so many details wrong I mean Gettysburg looked like it took place at an airport hangar with a bunch of superheroes have you ever been kicked in the head by a donkey are you talking about Kevin Smith films oh no man we just saw Captain America Civil War and Mike thought we saw America Civil War oh I wasn't just in the back masturbating what his job try to save as many people as we can sometimes that doesn't mean everybody but you don't give up Captain America Civil War follows the lives of different mothers on Mother's Day sandy is happily divorced until she finds out her ex-husband eloped with a much younger woman now she must learn to deal with big changes in her life as her two boys now have a stepmom sisters Jesse and Gabby get an unexpected surprise from their mother who is not happy to find out gabby is a lesbian and jesse is married to a man of color Miranda doesn't have any kids and is focusing on her career kristen is enjoying life as a new mother but is feeling pressure from her boyfriend to get married Bradley is trying hard to be the best parent for his two girls since their mom passed away last year however his idea of Mother's Day is pretending it doesn't exist at all Mike what did you think of Captain America Mother's Day which man of color were they talking about there were three of them in this film there was the old one the younger one and the one with the accent it was a black panther or something where did he get that super suit from well there was a lot of punching I gave it a C+ that's all yeah I I was bored and there were some parts that were slightly amusing and I thought the plot was hackneyed a simple revenge story from a guy and then everyone punched each other multiple times and then it ended this is somewhat shocking and oversimplifying with a revenge story it was much more than that I agree with Mike 100% really yeah Wow it's a bit of a letdown and it probably hurts that last night for the very first time I watched Captain America the Winter Soldier this is no the Winter Soldier it is so much better even though he says there's bad the Winter Soldier is so much better yeah even though you have all of these heroes who are punching each other well that the two parts didn't quite merge for me the the airport hangar fight was fun yeah it had its moments that was a little goofy there was a drastically a drastic tonal shift like the moment that fight started well the the trailers teased the the Avengers fighting each other and the big the big yeah battle on the tarmac with spider-man and you know ant-man and uh and that was a little thing and then there's the dark Winter Soldier esque stuff that happened later and that was a real movie it's two movies so mech fight was the airport fight was a little ol fun little thing happened in the middle there's nothing to break up all the scenes of people talking about morals and which side of this issue they fall on and that that's that's my only real complaint about it is that I thought it had some pacing and tonal issues but aside from that I really liked it the problem is there's no reason there should be a division on the issue I I thought they did a good job in the movie of establishing why there's conflicting ideals of why would you say that there should be no because because Tony Stark Iron Man's of aside now just makes so much more sense in every conceivable way that is that just you though cuz I was I thought the movie did a good job of not making it clear that there is no one right answer no no you're talking about you're talking about people with insane superpowers taking the law into their own hands and doing whatever they want now it sounds like exactly the kind of thing that Captain America would want to fight against you think Captain America would say look at those people with superpowers that are going to do whatever they want without any regard for the consequences we have to stop them well I was because we had talked about this I don't remember what movie were talking about but we're saying it was odd which sides oh yeah Tony Stark fell on and but I thought the movie did a good job of establishing well why they have a phone besides they do it was lost Captain America saying he wants to be a vigilante and more like my friend my best friend Bucky got rehab so there was more of him fighting for that cause I'm sort of like the I don't do this just accord thing yeah I gotta go help Bucky I'm gonna do whatever I want because Bucky's in trouble so that was his angle with that and there's a personal angle and then Tony Stark had a personal angle early on when he it's an issue it's it's like I think the smartest thing anyone said in the movie was I think vision said it he's like you know after 2008 when you Tony Stark became an Iron Man there were no real problems and that everything just became worse yeah that's right it's the villain of the week problem it's that Spider Man like how you have spider-man that all of a sudden now that there's a Spider Man there are supervillains all of a sudden like I just died but then there's the collateral damage issue it's like if the Avengers weren't there would this terrible thing that happened just destroy the world yeah who cares I mean okay this 16 civilians got killed well what wouldn't done much worse and that was a problem is like Tony Stark and and Captain America have like a two-second conversation about is is was Bucky framed I got some evidence up fuck you sit down just talk it out yeah just give someone give Captain America five minutes he's Captain fuckin America to explain yeah America give Tony Stark they just got so hot-headed immediately they needed to or the wind upend the road of in a movie yeah hence the flaw is captain while a great many people see you as a hero there are some who'd prefer the word vigilante you've operated with unlimited power and no supervision that's something the world can no longer tolerate you know Captain America is his list former love interest is dead his his his best friend has been brainwashed and turned into a Russian assassin Tony Stark is sad because he's been reminiscing about his dead parents and Pam Potts has left him and he's sad about yeah Pepper Potts left him and he said about all the people that accidentally died because of his actions in the past and those vitamins good jumper here's the problem though is that stuff's fun oh yeah it's not like it's not like the weird tunnel issues of something like Batman vs Superman like I guess we should explain hey we are having a little contest to see who can go the longest without machine comparisons to Batman vs Superman and I realized I just failed hey I have to sit in timeout now well this movie falls into the Batman vs Superman trap where you darker don't know but a little bit I mean it doesn't get that no not to the point where because there's that part in Batman vs Superman that we were joking about it's too late we're past the point of no return now seal is broken but I know there's that part we talked about with uh what's mock Kent's and she does a little quip after almost getting blown up or whatever and it feels really out of place and weird and this movie has a little bit of that but the the fun comic book II quippy stuff is fun in its own right it's just it's just a shift it's just an vs. Superman state dark and miserable but that's that's almost worse though if there's nothing better dating in it I I thought the the more dramatic stuff was was handled pretty well illness I thought there was some pacing issues with it and then you get to the the fun exciting everybody's fighting each other thing and it feels like a different movie but that movie is all is fun like it's handled well the way everybody plays off of each other everybody using all their different powers Marvel has has built the cinematic Empire under their tone they're kind of fun adventurous tone yeah and what I was worried about going in and what they kind of did was they started they stuck their foot into grimdark territory they started to sour the broth well what we want to see in a superhero movie is political red tape we don't want to see the avengers headquarters let's go save the day we want to see like the UN get involved yeah it delved into the like what if these superheroes real yeah real Watchmen territory Watchmen territory yes and it's like okay now we need its like them what is it in x-men the mutant Registration Act oh yeah when it's like it works better in the x-men and this it's just it just sort of drains the fun out of the Avengers when they have to bring in that the real-world consequences you know what I'm sure yeah there's collateral damage but why do you got to bring that up as our our friends are no they now all hate each other yeah but that's the thing is like there's two ways to look at this you can look at this is just this movie and be like Oh for a comic-book movie this one's a little – a little too dour but Marvel is looking at the overall picture and this is the dark middle chapter that's the Empire Strikes Back never says Empire we kind of knew who the bad guy was going forward and what they had to defeat this is just yeah see I was I was a kind of expecting like this the sad little ending well let's just go right into spoilers if you haven't seen the movie spoilers from here on Captain America and his best friends are now in a giant tiger somewhere I'm assuming and what kinda the Wakanda is is the character's name actually the Black Panther yes was this made in the 1960s yes okay that makes sense well I think it actually came first though I think the comic book character can first how do you know when the Black Panther movement started cracker Captain America nobs friends are in inside a giant tiger a tiger fortress and it's the Black Panthers Fortress of Solitude yes and nkn and Tony Stark is helping his best friend Don Cheadle who looks very old I was going to mention that yeah leave Don Cheadle alone but it was very old and now a vision if wallace super God has accidentally crippled him in a moment of weakness or something okay so then everyone's all miserable and Oh Scarlet Witch is in a mental asylum and I don't know what else happened but then I was expecting like a lead into one of the next projects like the infinity gems or good lord right gauntlet of powers the purple faced man mr. mr. meanie mr. yuk is his name sir yeah yeah um what were the Beatles characters the meanies right Blue Meanies him yeah him to come down and go I'm here to conquer the earth and then you know Tony Stark tanned to pick up the phone and call campus America and then you have really a rally call inside hands on miserable note and I was a little disappointed in the grand scheme of the plot because I think I read some little rotten tomatos quips and it was basically like yeah the Avengers are all fighting each other but it's a bigger plot by something else that's tricking them into fighting each other and it was just a guy who lost his family in Sarco via and then there was another lady who lost her son in sarkodie yeah everyone lost somebody in sarkodie let's I'm just feel that now this regular guy is crafty enough to outwit a team of superheroes technically in the comics he's Baron Zemo and he's a big villain though even though in this movie he's really not he's just a guy but he is well he's called Zemo he's got the same name you rich what did you think of spider-man it was fun he you know I mean he wasn't like 90% of the movie we get a little bit of him it's in the 15 years there have been cinematic Spider Man this is my favorite portrayal of the character okay it's not it make you look forward to the solo spider-man yeah yeah okay it's not the best thing I've ever seen in my entire life but I think it's it's it's the most justice Peter Parker has been done on the big screen well this one was like a I don't know I don't want to use the word shoehorned but he didn't belong in this movie no I miss I mean if Marvel had the the rights to Disney's Marvel whatever had the rights to spider-man earlier they would try and establish him seeds of him in an earlier film or something here it's just like I'm gonna visit this kid that you've never heard of before it's the most fun scene in the movie the scene when he goes until they see where Tony Stark feels like Tony Stark yeah he's very dour in this one he's a couple little moments him coming on like making comments about how hot at Mei is well they had to put that in there cuz the mini cast Marissa Tomei that's every message board on every website ever is like I feel weird about being attracted Aunt May now I was always attracted day at mate oh do you remember the part when everyone punched each other and we're falling neverold is falling crashing and that guy sure loved his family was the Winter Soldier really interesting enough to be the focal point for two films he's a little indestructible which makes a boring okay what happened in the film strangely everyone seems to think that the UN has actual powers that was that was the most jarring thing for me well the UN's they've gotten together and the UN has decided this thing that roads like constantly events the UN what's the UN you know that this isn't like League of Nations the League of Nations that was a precursor to the you I know um they should have had a scene they were equally as effective no no they should have had a scene where though the cab with Captain Rogers whatever Aaron Rogers was America Captain America yeah where he titled the movie he's like he's like alright I'll sign this Accord and then like some sort of like horrific monster comes and then the UN has to pass the resolution they're all just like should we go let's go I got a secondary vote from the Council of the UN Norway is holding us up yeah red tape and bureaucracy of the UN and the general incompetence is a hold and then the monster has killed 25,000 people and then Captain America just goes I told you and then goes Avenger how did you fly out of their headquarters go fight them all and then that's the end of the movie but we all love bjur bureaucracy and red tape and miserable vengeful hatred in our superhero films you keep saying miserable I didn't think there was anything miserable thermic there was drama but I don't think anything was miserable yeah I get let me ask you this cuz you guys are talking about like the the comic book II stuff scene two phony and then the serious stuff being too serious well I was a little jarring when cartoon Spiderman came out well that's that's the only thing that was jarring to me was that shift but right into the that whole fight scene like that felt like it was something out of another movie but it it wasn't like the movie was constantly shifting tones no I thought it established a nice tone throughout the whole thing and I didn't feel the the bureaucracy is there any of that stuff was was holding the movie down no I liked all the scenes with everybody sort of discussing the issue and and having fallen in different sides of it I guess if you like that I mean you're talking about age of Ultron you tried watching it and seemed goofy and silly I watched in preparation for this I rewatched Winter Soldier and then I watched age of Ultron right afterwards i watch some of age of Ultron and that was jarring because age of Ultron especially in retrospect right after Winter Soldier like this is dumb it's an okay movie but it's it's dumb and it's cluttered and it's bloated when I saw how great Jason Bourne movie age of Ultron is a great goofy comic-book movie but it depends if you like the that those the real-world results or the real-world consequences superheroes in the real world kind of thing this is a good movie I particularly don't I well I like it at the tone like this really has it because you would also describe Voltron more really because I even almost crying they're all true I like me some schlock I'm the guy like the Wolverine Wolverine and Sabretooth fought the early version of Ryan Reynolds Deadpool on top of a nuclear reactor and they cut his head off and it had fell down into the reactor shooting Cyclops laser beams out of his eyes which caused a meltdown of Three Mile Island glorious Sherlock comic books are schlock and you know this but do they have to be all the time well I think because you could also describe Batman vs Superman as being you know dark realistic if they were superheroes real this is own and and then that's clearly a much different tone than this movie I think this movie does a good job of handling the the comic book elements of it with the you know the clashing of the real world without getting too depressing don't don't you think that what our soldier handled the kind of political red tape well I think it better than this yeah definitely it didn't yeah cuz that was not even a superhero movie it was Captain America action movie felt completely different my only problem really with the politics in this is just one side makes way too much sense as compared to the other side like wait and what's an argument I think I lean more towards to Captain America side the non-valid point is the Tony Stark side where it's like okay the the UN will vote that you go fight this the super monster still gonna have collateral damage yeah you can't avoid that you know you know the you know the Man of Steel fans are gonna be jumping down your throat after saying this moves up the mess steel everyone hated Matt Steel because of that oh no I don't mind it I'd say it's part of the world it was weird in Superman because there's so much of it though it was excessive and it was Superman actively participating in it as opposed to the Marvel movies where there it happens but they try to you know tone it down I wanted to clarify this before the entire internet jump down our throats no I'm not saying like that I liked the collateral damage in the Avengers movie and I didn't like it in that I'm saying it the UN trying to avoid it by regulation is pointless because collateral damage in a superhero movie or a superhero world is a fact inevitable inevitable yeah it's an inevitability it's it will happen just because you regulate the Avengers doesn't mean they're you know they are trying their best there's no proof that they weren't see that would have been an interesting little wedge in there is if they somehow like had evidence or someone was saying like they are um reckless or you know because it was the Scarlet Witch the guy blew himself up yeah and she she tried to contain it in a bubble and then she shot him up in the air and like couldn't control it as a complete accident as an accident yeah but if there was like you know what some character said whoops whoops accidentally leveled that building sorry captain and they were joking around or they intentionally did something and were negligent if they could prove negligence which now we're going to involve legal terms in superhero film I think approved negligence on the part of the Avengers where they were majoring people when they didn't need to they would have a better case yeah but really it's like okay and we go regulate you all right go stop that monster right now go stop that monster now I don't break anything don't break anything or make sure that you don't have any civilians get killed when it the entire city is flying up into the sky and then falls that's how the police department works right don't they say every time the cop goes out on a call they say now make sure no one gets killed mm-hmm mmm yep make sure there are no crimes in the city well rich how does do you know much about the Civil War comic story I was just about to so the the spark that starts the debate in the Civil War comic book that's about a good decade since I've read it but there's this group of superheroes fighting a super villain whose superpowers he can explode okay and they punch him which makes them explode in the middle of a great school playground that's amazing I know it's the most shockingly horrible thing in the comic book Civil War 300 children died that'll start a political debate not a cut not a dozen people exploding by accident in an office building yeah ma'am they needed something more shocking visually what is yeah but they obviously they're not gonna kill a bunch oh no it didn't have to be children but I was building hmm it was it was and this is interesting the way this sort of builds on everything established in the previous movies it's not just that incident it's sort of like the the build-up of all these previous incidents and I know that was handled well yeah as opposed to Batman versus Superman I would have started screaming at the Secretary of Defense because he's like New York Washington I've had what the fuck how do you expect us to do there's a giant alien ship like give us a break Captain America he's oh he's a world war two ERA man he would have he firmly should have you started telling that guy just like just started shouting at all you get out there you idiot you only make this worse you saying you'll arrest me there we the consequences captain you seem a little defensive husband along to the movie would have been over in five minutes if Captain America said okay I'll sign this thing now with the UN resolution can wait can we take care of this Bucky situation like civilized adults oh the credits are rolling I have proof that was not Bucky can I investigate this yes there's no good reason why you shouldn't be able to do that stamped unless there was like a some kind of like shadow thing behind the people who are controlling it they were evil he could have done something interesting with that huh someone's controlling the you someone's controlling the UN you can feel regulating the superhero yeah yeah then you have something interesting going on no rich a guy who has said that his family died is much more interesting why are they trying to turn Tony Stark into Batman Tony Stark is so much more interesting this Tony Stark I know he fucked up and and basically created Ultron and I guess the character continuity between the films is nice but such a sourpuss and in this film they got to get him fun again before he's just too old I mean look at look at look at Don Cheadle yeah he's drying up the man is just drying up I think they I think the script had to make him a cripple because he can't walk anymore they had no choice I thought he died I thought he was dead why didn't think they should have killed him they need to kill people in these movies if they really want to go make this the dark chapter or whatever they could have killed you need some deaths yeah you need to really take risks other than just it gets kind of dark why do half the superheroes agree to become criminals to help Captain America with his weird Russian brainwashed assassin problem why do they all throw away their lives why does ant-man just throw away his lives a man was ill it was jarring cuz everybody else had some motivation that was established but then a man's just there he's got to be there who are you finding flaws in the film – I'm not saying it's a perfect movie absolutely I thought it was a boy no it's no Winter Soldier and I don't think any other bar home movie will be at this point I think that's pretty clear but I I mean I was entertained by the movie that's good there's too much punching I got tired of all the punching I think I'm done with superhero movies I'd say you say that every superhero it's no longer exciting to me it's just punching as long as I find new new things to do like I mean especially this movie where it's really it's more about the the emotional conflicts of the characters and it is just the spectacle or just the punching well it seems like they can go to routes like big bad threat like the upcoming apocalypse movie or enter conflict and drama there's two stories you can tell when it seems like there's probably a bigger canvas of stories I always reference that story you told me rich Planet Hulk movies like that and always he's a big it's Apocalypse it's the big event I wanna see creative stories I think that's it see I would say going back to what you were saying about not having like a villain of the week or not having the big big threats this when we tried to do that I think the villain was underwritten though as far as his motivation but I like that it yeah but I like that at the end it was you know he's like showing them information about their pasts and causes them to fight each other I just wish there was a little more to him without making him like a comical over-the-top villain I guess it's it was fine that it was just a guy who wanted to you know pull the strings and make the Avengers fight each other it just didn't seem quite focused on that storyline it had all that other gunk in there – yeah actually I preferred the earlier sections of the film but it was just kind of Captain America dealing with the Bucky issue and that was that was the focus it wasn't about a bunch of heroes just crowding together to fight well that was the problem with age of Ultron – or it was like too many things that they're trying to put in the movie I thought this was handled smoother than age of Ultron it didn't feel as clunky or bloated did still have that same sort of issue or it's like we got to put this in there too I think I would have liked a story that was more focused get rid of the Civil War aspect almost entirely but just Kathryn Merrick saving his friend from the government bureaucracy that wants to prosecute him for these crimes that he wasn't really responsible for yeah well in a more normal sequel that isn't also trying to be a part of a cinematic universe that's what you would get yeah like there's no reason I was I mention this to you the other day oh there's no reason for this to be called Captain America just call it Marvel Civil War or whatever it's I mean Captain America is you know just as much a main character in this as Tony Stark is just you could yeah you call lassie Morgan no he's the agitator he's the one that that really causes the sound war so it's somewhat appropriate but you're right could be called Avengers Avengers Civil War Marvel Civil War it doesn't need to be I would like to see a nice follow-up to the Winter Soldier and that's not really what this is that's a part of it Iron Man just a far stronger character in this than Captain America do you think it made sense that Iron Man had Iron Man war machine and vision and but he also thought maybe he might need spider-man's help to take him Steve oh my god with a bow and arrow it was kind of lopsided you know what's about to happen do you really want to punch your way out of this who fight all Reds would you recommend it's kind of okay J I'd recommend it I like the more than you guys did I think it's so many see that's how I would describe a lot of the Marvel movies there's the the above-average ones like Winter Soldier and then there's like Thor – it's like that alright Thor 2/3 are two o'clock like that turn to the total schlock at the end and I think there's lots of good ideas in this movie I think it's it's too much for one movie unfortunately as I thought it don't some of the story elements don't work I thought a lot of the the most character and the emotional stuff words I just know they better start filming the infinity war before Robert Downey jr. also starts turning into a withered husk of his former self hey you know all I got to do is shine him up with the goods it's true yeah that's about it all the time yeah I D D aging on Robert Downey jr. looked pretty good do you think there's Robbie Robert Downey jr. seen they put that in there just to show him like cuz he makes so much fuckin money from these movies or they're like if you don't want to come back for the next one we had cartoon you lined up why do you think they pick such a young Peter Parker that's true yeah we got 30 years out of this kid I suppose I would recommend this film I didn't hate it I didn't love it I think among riches Rich's team in the Civil War and then everyone was mad at each other and I know that was the point but I don't want see a movie where one's mad at each other the problem is that it's going against their previous formula everyone's everyone the friends get together action adventure habitat adventure hate you and I'm gonna punch you in the face and I think that's that's a Marvel strategy though is to not just I mean if you look at like especially like I mentioned watching Winter Soldier an age of Ultron back to back because some people complain that all the Marvel movies feel the same but like look at those two movies it's like no they don't you know and then this only dozen and I appreciate even though this movies you know a little lopsided I appreciate that there at least you know taking some chances yeah you can you can talk about the bigger picture that that's that doesn't make this particular film though super fun to watch maybe it's the fact that they are all fighting each other that doesn't quite work yeah because because at the end of empire Luke Han and Leia don't hate each other yes I was that there's that I mean you could have done a darker Avengers film where like the the UN comes together and shuts down their complex and it's dismantling it and they have to all go fly away and hide somewhere and then they do their superhero acts like undercover you know the world hates them you cause too much collateral damage and they get disbanded and but they don't hate each other okay still dark things happen there's struggles there's controversy of them causing too much collateral damage but at the same time it's it doesn't end with Captain America shoving a shield into Iron Man's party and breaking his jaw all right I've run out of patience underoos hey everyone well Jay after recently seeing that terrible awful shitty film Batman V Superman it sure was great to see a real superhero film I don't think I'll ever get tired of comic book movies now they can make one every five minutes I'll be over what I think that's enough downtime for us we've got to get over to mr. plinkus house pronto Wow we as in the three of us yeah yeah mr. piket he told me he needs his VCR fixed ASAP he's got to record the Night Court reunion special that's on tomorrow night there's a Night Court reunion special I haven't heard anything about this no me either huh but Mike it's after 5:00 p.m. you know what that means overtime all right let's go idiots I mean let's go asshole hey that's more like it yeah let's go take a real long time to fix that VCR now Jay we're gonna have to try and get as much Oh tea on this job as possible if you know what I'm saying right so I got a plan okay I'll make five or six different trips to the gas station you know to get coffee and donuts and you come down with horrifying diarrhea and you have to spend hours in the bathroom how come you can't have the horrifying diarrhea for a change that she drinks holy shit what are you doing jinx each other at the same time I don't know Hey what oh my god holy shit that's a crap really that went up I was like Admiral Ackbar I knew there wasn't really a Night Court reunion that's an idea so stupid even hula wouldn't try it that's right motherfuckers this here's a civil war oh my god just like that Ken Burns documentary baseball this here's butch hey what's up butch used to be a bouncer oh Jesus my dog is gonna kick our fuckin ass yeah yeah a bouncer he used to inflate those bouncy castles over at the kitty fun world you know the one on the good side of town so just me or did this get a whole lot less intimidating I mean he's still like a big guy you can probably still kick her ass the bouncy castle things just should have lied about that yeah yeah why even bring that up oh you don't think that's intimidating no you don't know Butch's story his horrifying dark secret butch here he got fired from the kiddie fun world oh my god what is he beat up one of the parents yeah no one day he forgot to properly secure one of the bouncy castles and it flew away oh my god with like children inside oh no no no no children were harmed but the bouncy castles are are really really expensive but apparently it was against the union rules to fire him just for that so they framed him for stealing Doritos from one of the vending machines oh so scared then I got hired by Tim did a VCR repair guy rich trained me up real good I can strip and clean a VCR in under a minute I can do rewind play tracking head cleaning I could do betta VHS I can do those little knobs to keep the VCR from burning through your cabinet that's enough exposition let's just get to the fight already Oh yeah it's a little short it's a little little stubby it's still not what I'd like that's not too bad what about this place that motherfucker throws one fucking plate can I get a sharp end hey hey there's a winner what's inside okay here I come fuck everything's going wrong today yeah yeah Oh God why are they running close with a long-range weapon Oh what is this a gun don't shit now I have the high ground you fucked with the wrong VCR repair man goodbye fuck Oh so yeah that's where I'm headed I guess yeah I mean it really is kind of a dead-end career so it's probably the right choice yeah I think I'd rather be hit in the face with broken bottles by drunks yeah yeah oh my god Mike the fuck did you do what do you mean what'd I do I shot that motherfucker to death oh no we talked everything else yeah we used our words what oh yeah butch decided he's gonna get out of the VCR repair business and try and get a job as a real bouncer and rich had an inoperable brain tumor his doctors and I were trying to find a way to tell him it he was only gonna last like three months tops well shit what are we gonna do with the body now you

29 thoughts on “Half in the Bag Episode 109: Captain America: Civil War

  • Sorry Rich.

    They didn't get a young Spider-Man.

    You're just getting old..

    Happens to the best of us.

    I thought Jonah Hill was actually a teenager in that movie with the kid from the tv show with the banana stand and the dude who's apparently a purple belt now…


    Super Bad!!!

    Took me a few seconds.

  • Zemo is a strategic genius, that's his power, the change only change is that he can't toe to toe with cap… but really he couldn't in the comics either. I really feel like you guys missed this one bad and it's weird cuz it's not even that good of a movie, but your making me defend it a lot. (I've deleted like 6 comments already, not including the other one I did post)

  • I don't like this review, I feel like 2/3 didn't get the movie, not that it was even much to get. It's ok the debate over the comic was the same way.

  • "Civil War was so dark… "Winter Soldier was so much better…"

    (Arguably Winter sSoldier was much darker but…. K🤣)

  • Captain america opposed the accords because he just watched a giant bloated and overly involved bureaucracy fail: Shield.

  • Black Panther: Bucky killed my father.
    Cap: No he didn't, and I can prove it.
    Tony Stark: Bucky killed MY father

  • I liked the flick alot……but "I have some evidence…..oh. fuck you!" was a great GREAT moment of the review. LOL!!!!!!

  • The fight scene at the end of this episode is better than most quick edit shaky cam bullshit in movies

  • I don't understand what Mike means by "cartoon Spider-Man." He must know that Spider-Man talks during fights all the time. If he doesn't know, then Rich should've corrected him

  • None of you are going to talk about how Captain America refers to a bunch of rifles as "AR-15s" even though not one of them is an AR-15?
    4:31 You're not an internationalist pinko, are you? Team Rogers, represent! Anyone who whores for the UN is an internationalist pissant!
    4:50 So basically you're asking, "Who watches the Watchmen?"
    5:25 Vigilantism is every citizen's duty. Vigilantism is the ultimate expression of patriotism.
    5:50 Vision also used the term "collective good," revealing that he's an internationalist pinko, so it's no wonder that he whores for the UN.
    7:17 How is that a bad thing? Only worthless weaklings fear vigilantism, which is ironic since it's the only thing that prevents the weak from being exterminated by the predators of the world. Ah, but those same worthless weaklings (the political ones, not the ones who can't help it) are parasites, and parasites are in cahoots with predators ("as above, so below"). Those of us caught in the middle must resort to vigilantism both as a means of survival and as a means of Resistance.
    10:10 Called it.
    15:29 The UN is a miserable failure (and so is the EU).
    16:24 / 19:41 / 19:47 I side with Mike/Steve over Rich/Tony on this. Team Rogers, represent! Team Stoklasa, represent!
    19:55 Rush Limbaugh properly described the UN as "a democracy of dictatorships" back in the '90s.
    21:21 How many more people would have died if she hadn't done that? How many more-more people would have died if The Avengers had been bogged down in bureaucracy?
    22:57 Okay, that explains Rich's perspective a bit more.
    24:39 What do you think the UN is? Of course there's a shadow government within in! Same for the EU.
    31:36 That contradicts what he said earlier.
    39:00 Mr. Plinkett's Colt Python! At least that's what it's modeled after. But why does it have a lanyard ring? That fits with Plinkett's supposed age.
    39:14 The cross-thumb technique is only useful when using a single-action revolver or when firing a double-action revolver single-action (which you'd only do when shooting targets, not while in a combat situation). Just for future reference.
    39:35 Where have I heard that before?
    40:39 Is that a Half-Life 2 wind-blowing sound effect by Kelly Bailey?

  • Having watched Endgame and then watching this review, I totally agree they could have made the conflict within The Avengers a lot more compelling politically and personally.

    Cap's position should have been informed by his friendship with Bucky, and his personal resentment and concern for what happens when governments can use people as tools. This would have tied in nicely to his kind of Kantian position of not weighing life in terms of quantity: one person's life can't be compared to a billion people's lives, life is life. Beyond that, exactly what is said here, that while governments are deciding, and even assuming that governments represent a popular will and they are important, people will be dying. Cap is too much of a hero to allow that to happen when he could be acting. He can't tolerate him, or the idea of good people, being prevented from helping. And this also ties in with the kind of distinction they try to make between Cap's Americanism and stateism – Cap represents the kind of 1940s idea of a communitarian America born of the great depression and war. They could have played this up as simultaneously quaint and admirable. And really validated in the aftermath of Thanos' snap while being consistent with his "person out of time" construction in the films.

    Stark's position should have been more utilitarian. Particularly informed by his vision and experience in New York, which they've set up haunts him until the first act of Infinity War when his fears start to come true. That there's a bigger threat out there, that this is what governments want and they won't be able to prepare and fight those threats as vigilantes, and that they will need government's help to set up planetary defenses, technology, or just not have Stark's preparation dismantled by governments. The scale of what must be done is too big to accomplish from the shadows. Dealing with more collateral damage and uncertainty with earth-bound threats, with more cost of life, to save more lives later is the requirement for preparation. They could have tied into his experience and history as a hero really defined as a kind of "private sphere" vigilante, which they make a major point of in Iron Man 2 – that after New York he sees things differently, and that sometimes you have to make hard decisions and get your hands dirty and that this is one of them. This is a position that Cap can't tolerate.

    Had this been the center of the conflict we would have seen the legitimacy of each position both in Civil War and in the Thanos movies, and they could have buttressed Cap's position a little bit more in the latter movies.

  • yea lets see mike calmly hear someone out after watching them murder his parents, yeah im sure you would be totally calm. fuck you.

  • The thing they glossed over in the beginning was the fact that the villain that blew himself up was stealing a bio weapon.

  • 100% agree that the civil war aspect felt tacked on. If they kept this as a bucky followup this would have been much better. Motivations for the civil war aspect felt very weak.

    They could have borrowed aspects of civil war but in the end it should really just be capt America vs iron man and that would have been fine.

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