Hannibal Buress – I Wanna Look At People's Feet Forever



hey what's up what's up everybody how's it going I live in New York there's this great play in New York called Sleep No More and Sleep No More it's not a regular play where you sit in the audience and watch people to stay sleep the wars in this five-story building actors just pop into any room they started doing a scene there they leave that partner to bed and go to another part and it's real cool and interactive you follow them around it's great and I was in his office set there just me all along in this office set and I farted in that room but then two actors came into that room to do a scene but they acted right into my fart cloud and I can see that it was bothering I can see in the eyes and it was body but they had to power through and stay in character and you know what it was really cool to be a part of the process I really enjoyed being a part of the process this next bit real doesn't connect to anything I've said so far or anything I'll say I'll just do the bit I wanted is in my hand and go to a palm breathe and say what does that mean what does that mean what does that mean what do you see in my future a nap I'm trying to get in shape my girlfriend she's in great shape she's she's healthy she gives me health tips sometimes like Hannibal you got – shit like that you know there's real insightful stuff though she cares she cares like on my left foot the big toenail is brown she's Hannibal get it checked out but I've been letting that shit ride for a decade get it checked out on that toast different he's an artist he's the leader of the foot he's brown eventually the other faults whole nails be brown then it'll be a United situation down then just get it checked out so I'm gonna go to pedasi and get it checked out but I think that's a weird job too even wanna be a podiatrist yep I want to look at people's feet forever oh yeah you weirdo that's your dream that's your life's dream you weirdo but I thought about it more benefi Dodgers has to be great because the stakes are so low when your dad's you never have to walk into a waiting room make a horrible speech you never go sorry your son didn't make it his bunions went into his prostate I'm so sorry for your loss you'd rather do the podiatrist but that just means hand your foot of the size H that wearing the sizes get the fuck out of my office I'm about to go jag off the pictures of women wearing Louboutins I got here to Canada today your border agents are nosy sometimes I come right in and then sometimes they say what is this to happen in 2002 I say that is American business right there don't worry about what happened in 2002 that happened that I'm sure travelers always meet people and people want to be good hosts sometimes you know so after I've met people they say hey man whatever you need why are you here in town I got you anything you need I'll get it for you but people say anything but what they really mean is restaurant recommendations in City we is what they have access to is just sound cooler to say anything sometimes I remember once I was on the road this guy comes I've had a boy whatever you need why you in town I got you I run this town fucking I run this town I'm the king of Tampa Florida I run temple what do you need man you need somebody murdered no anybody murdered well I'm gonna need that people gotta die sometimes man man I just got here eight hours ago shit escalates fast sometimes man listen if you need somebody murdered I got six assassins to live here in Tampa and three that have traveled from Orlando if you give them enough notice what do you need man what do you need you need some girls you need some cocaine you need some girls that do cocaine I got you I've run this town I love your comedy show even though I talked through half of that shit what do you need anything you need my nigga and you white is weird when you say my nigga whatever my nigga worth on me what it used to mean anymore rappers saying I should get to say it too what do you need man you need some girls you need X you need some girls to do X but don't do cocaine but also kill motherfuckers what do you need I'm the king of Tampa I really wanted to sing that dude on a scavenger hunt okay you know what I need I need episode two of the x-men cartoon on blu-ray I need the Family Matters pilot script first draft I need three syringes full of cheese that's a weird one I need a pair of brown penny loafers with quarters in them I need a baby shoe from every state I need to learn how to live in a moment more and he pays 24 of outliers by Malcolm Gladwell just pays 24 with nothing on the other side and I need the audio to the Jay Z salons fight in that elevator I want to know where have it hey good night y'all I'm Hannibal Buress later [Applause]

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