Hasan Plays Fortnite | Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj | Netflix


Hey guys, it’s Hasan. Now that the cycle’s over, I have some free time. So I figured, “Hey!” Let’s play some video games. One of the episodes that we did in this cycle was on video games and labor. So I thought we should play Fortnite with one of our writers, Zach Rice. Cool. Let’s do it. Alright. Zach, can you hear me? Yeah. I’m right next to you. What?
Hasan, I’m right next to you. Zach, talk louder. I’m right here sitting next to you. So, Zach is pysspapa69. I’m Hasan_Bhai, obviously. My professional name is Zach; birth certificate: pysspapa69. Dude, this is my fuckin’ life, bro. Is this a game to you? What– wait. Do you play games at home– Do you have a console at home? I have no console at home. I have no console at home.
What do you do? Dude, I got a family, man. Oh, yeah. My life isn’t my own, man. Damn. A child is the ultimate console. I know. Alright, I’m going to take us somewhere, like, a little more private so… Got it. Right now? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let’s go. Alright, see, yeah. And then if you just, like, hold down on the movement. Where are you? You see, like, on the left your screen. I’m pysspapa69, flying in the wind. Oh, gotcha. What was the inspo behind pysspapa69? I think I just wanted to get as nasty as possible. Alright. Yeah, now you’re gonna just glide towards me. How many people on Instagram do you follow that actually like, legit, do this for real for real? Is it, is it–
I mean, I went to the World Cup. Oh! How was that? Me and Sofía went. It was incredible. I saw the IG stories. We got photos with all the biggest players and it’s so funny ’cause it looks like we just, like, picked up like three kids before prom and, like, hung out with them. What’s the– What’s the vibe in– ‘Cause you’re you’re in a stadium right? Yeah. It’s literally like where they had the U.S. Open for tennis. Like, fully fucking packed, like, sold out 20,000 people watching, like, 30 small white children play the game, like, middle school. Oh shit. Oh no I’m getting lit. Oh no. Alright, dude I just got a axe. I gotta up my situation. Oh no. Oh my God, I’m getting stabbed to death. Are you getting lit up? Alright, dude I’m gonna stay away. I’m gonna protect myself right now. How do I get one? Oh yeah. Yeah. So, run off the ramp and then– Okay. You’re gonna look on the ground– Oh, do you see those people jumping? Those are bad guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How do I get– Best course of action here might be to hide.
For real? Because they can tell where I’m at, right?
No, they have no idea where you are. Otherwise you’d already be dead. Yeah, I think you should hide right now. What. Oh! What?! WryGabriel? Dude, I try to find a corner– WryGabriel takes no prisoners, man. That’s someone in the world, right? Yeah. It’s Jon Stewart. Dude, Jon. I know you’re in Jersey right now. But come on, bro. He’s on the farm. He’s bored on the farm. He’s gotta come out here and kill me. Jon Stewart reemerges in the public eye as a professional Fortnite player. Alright, so you’re you’re axing someone to death. Is that bad form? Where– Where should we go? Should we go somewhere cold? Alright, we’ll go to– Is that going to create issues? It’s more slippery. Ah, let’s go somewhere dry then. Okay, let’s go to the desert. There’s pysspapa. I see you. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we got situations. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here– you stay where you are. I’ll come to you. Let’s stay where it’s just a little bit more chill. Some of the typography here has got me really– Typography got me like… Got me thinking about my archipelagos. Oh my God, dude. My isthmuses. Here we go. We got a gun. Oh, you got a gun? How do I– That’s great. How do I pick it up? Okay, so press square to pick it up. Alright. So, what are– What do the trees get you? Just– So, that’s just how you’re harvesting wood and then when you press circle to build, you’re using the materials that you’re harvesting by smashing the trees or the rocks. What does a cactus get me? Same– same shit. Just wood. Cactus becomes wood. That doesn’t check out. That’s false. We have some notes, Epic Games. Epic Games, what’s going on, man? Cactus should give you cactus. Yeah. Or water. Alright, so– Yeah, we’re we’re doing good harvesting right now. Alright. What will that pay off? Okay, so press circle right now. Let’s, let’s– Let’s teach some basic building. So now you’re building walls. L2 will build ramps. So like– Got it. What do walls get us? Like, protection if someone is fighting, like, if someone shoots you, you can build a wall to block bullets. How effective is wood at blocking bullets? Not that effective. Like, see this dude right here who’s jumping? You see him? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have a gun so you can probably shoot him. I have no gun. Let’s go. Oh man. I mean find this guy. Oh no, there’s a fuckin’ big dude near us. Oh, no! Oh shit. Oh my God. Where’s this dude coming– Ah, come on dude! Oh, I’m good. I’m still good. All I gotta do is lay low. Yeah, you lay low. Fuck. I have no way to get out of here. Alright. Dance break. How do I dance? There you go. This is standard. Yeah, this is standard. This is… So “Whirlwind” is kind of like a basic dance. I bought you “Whirlwind.” Oh, thank you.
Yeah. How much is that? I think–
The show paid out like $30 bucks.
For this? Yeah.
Thank you so much, Carol. Thank you so much to Netflix, Inc. Yeah. You came out of my salary. “Howl.” How much is “Howl?” And this is pretty legit. Yeah. Well, that’s actually the most basic dance. Like, if you did that in the game, people will laugh at you. Oh, really? Whereas if I do this–
If you do that, people will respect you. Do “True Heart.” You want to see– “True Heart’s” my favorite one of all time. Yeah.
Not only is this a dance, but it’s a beautiful song. Alright, let me see it. Oh wow. Pretty good.
What’s the question– One question that everyone asks you about the show?– Working on the show? I mean most of the questions are about, like, how we choose episodes.
Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. Or, like, what the process is of like– Like, why would we do, like, MBS and then also, like, cruise ships. Oh, the gamut issue. World issues to, like, cruise ship. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well it’s like we’ll cruise ships are fucking interesting. Yeah. What do you tell them? Are you just like– I’m just like, “Yo, like watch the episode. It’s amazing.” You don’t answer the question. I never– I never answer the question, I just say go watch. There we go. What’s the question you get asked the most? That’s actually very similar to what I get. Really?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. “How do you guys choose episodes?” “Why don’t you do this?” I’ll get pitched a lot. “You guys should– You guys should totally–” Oh my God, yeah. There’s so many people in my DMs asking if they can intern for me. Nice.
Yeah. And I want to be like “That’s not–” Like, I can’t hire my own intern. That could never happen. That’d be amazing if you just, in your office, there was just another chair. And I was like, “What?” What’s going on here? Yeah, we set up shop here.
“Oh, it’s my Instagram DM intern.” Do you want to go to this red– This little red… We’ll go to like the furthest out… part of the map. Why does it have that [siren sound]? Why does it sound like a bus is driving by? Well ’cause we’re on– we’re on a party bus. That’s the thing we’re jumping out of. Dude, it’s pretty peaceful when you’re just… you know I mean? No, there’s something, like, really serene about just, like, looking out at the beautiful ocean. That’s the Atlantic Ocean. Can we fact check that? Let’s get fact check on that, Ted. Can we fact check that, please. Yeah. Where’s the research department? Which ocean is this? Does Beena watch the show? Yeah. She’ll come to the taping, and then she’ll actually watch it on Sunday morning–Sunday mornings to see how it all came together.
Oh damn. That’s so cool. My parents watch the show every weekend. Nice. It’s like they’re, like, Sunday morning. Yeah. They would watch it, like, if I didn’t write on it. Meeting your dad was awesome. Oh, so this is good. We have time to just, like, chill right now. So, you gotta find a gun. Yeah, it’s a straight up junkyard over here. Alright, if you come to me. Are you not in the same…? Oh. There you go. Oh, there you are. If you smack that down, then you can grab this gun. Are you serious right now? Like, just break! Alright, right here?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, if you press square on that. There we go. Oh, dude your outfit’s awesome. Thank you.
Oh, someone’s building. Someone is here. Oh shit.
Where is this person at? You know my biggest problem is? I don’t know where the fuck people are. Where do I go? Um, hold on. I got us. I’m building up. You’ve got a straight up edifice. Oh shit. Its_Chaosss, why do you have to do that? Should we talk about the Video Games episode at all? Yeah. How do you feel about that episode? I thought it was great. I thought it was a great trojan horse to get us into talking about unions via something that people really enjoy. I thought it was cool to see so many people actually in the gaming industry be like, “Oh, dude. Thank you for talking about this. Like this is a real thing that we actually go through. We’ve been talking about this for a long time. It was– It’s always cool getting, like, big upped by people that are, like, kind of really in that community being like you of shed light on this thing that we’ve been talking about for a long time. Alright, we’re gonna– If you look to your right.
Yes. We’re gonna jump out now. Oh! You know another question that I’ve wanted to ask you and now that we’re streaming, I gotta ask. what’s your favorite episode. What’s your favorite episode? Yeah.
Wow. I have a bunch I like for different reasons. Video Games definitely was one of them. Supreme. Amazon was really fun. Oh, Amazon was super fun. Indian Elections. Super fun. There’s a lot. And every episode has something in it that’s, like– that was like fun for different reason. Like cricket had Lalit. You know, Lalit Modi was just–
Oh my God. Well, yeah. Wait– Yeah. Can you tell us about that experience? Like, walk in– into his house. Yeah. You know how, like, some people on camera, you know you’ll just– People will ask you, they’ll be like “Are they really, really like that?” And I’m like, “He’s even better.” The cameras actually don’t do him justice. So what do I do here at the watering hole? I feel like this is a trap for sure. Oh my God. Where– I don’t even think that exists in the game. Where did you go? Where are you? Does water gives me safety? I don’t think water gives you safety. Yeah, yeah. At this point, just see what’s out there, man. Do you want me to just go to the edge? Let’s see what’s at the edge. Alright, let’s jump.
Oh, no. Let’s see what’s up. Hasancide. What? Oh, Dan… [laughing] What happened to you? Did you die or are you still in?
Nah, dude. I’m good. Ah, dude you just like… Oh wait, if you press circle. Communication abuse. What’s that? Oh, wow. This is hilarious. You should report someone for you killing yourself. Well I’m reporting you for communication abuse. My teammate… How do I do this. He told me– My teammate convinced me to commit suicide.
to kill myself. Alright, I’m gonna– I’m thriving out here. You know what? I’m just done. I’m just gonna report as is.
“He.” They’ll know. They’ll know. Sent. Sending. Thanks. Hasan_Bhai said, “He.” Justice better be served. There will be an investigation. What’s the longest you could play Fortnite straight? I get frustrated after, like, an hour and a half. I’ve played for like 24 hours straight.
Straight? Straight. No sleeping?
No sleep. What hiatus was this during? This was pre-Patriot Act? This was pre-Patriot Act. Remember the early days of Patriot Act?
I remember the early days. Different world. Where are you headed? What’s your agenda right now, Zach? My agenda is get to this big ass robot. This thing right here. Oh, someone’s already in it though. Yeah, snipe it. No damage? Does that do anything to it? Oh shit. Is he going to try to hit you? Yeah. Oh no. Oh fuck. Oh God. Wow! This dude can take out trees and you’re just building Fucking forts. Oh Jesus! Now there also–
No! Ah! Rocket launchers? Yeah, dude. Things ain’t good. You straight up poked the bear. I don’t think he knows where I am though right now. Sneak attack. Where did he go? Just go in the cabin. Go in the cabin. You’re right, you’re right, you’re right. Just chill in the cabin for a lil’ bit. Close the door. Let’s go. Wow! Nice. He had really good weapons. Oh, this dude was a vigilante. Oh should I get in this boy? Whoa. Alright, what’s the move here. Oh, dude my shit’s rumbling, too. Really?
Yeah. Damn. Giving my boss a rumble. Can I do Inside the Actor’s Studio with you? What’s your favorite curse word? The F-word, dude. Is Lipton still doing his thing? Oh shit. I gotta get out. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You’re just self-imploding? Fuck. Hold on. Let’s pause on the Lipton. Okay. What are you doing right now? Like, what is this? Oh shit, shit. Fuck. I was trying– I was trying to build a fort as quickly as possible. So that he couldn’t kill me, but Mr. Tennis got to me no matter what. You ever run into someone from high school here? In Fortnite? Yeah. You’ll be like, you’ll be like, “Brian?!” I mean, I wonder like, what, like, celebrities or, like, weird people I have played Fortnite with and I will never know. Like, I probably played with, like, Bill Clinton. Oh, that’s good. I mean, I checked your account. You have like 250 friend requests. Someone saw the episode, saw Hasan_Bhai, pysspapa, and added both of us.
Oh wow! Yeah. We should add ’em. Just to see. Just to… Should we go see? Yeah. Well, yeah. Press circle. If you go down. IAmLegend… Should we just add them all? …, catdogdrake, of course. Well, yeah. Who do you want to be friends with? Catdogdrake. Boss Volcano, you’re in. Daddy Chilli.
Damn, CT0430 did not make the cut. Nah, he’s not in. Yeah, that’s true. Dr. Arvid. I don’t need a doctor. Drone Daddy? Is there a drone– Too many DJs. Yeah. DroneAddict. You need someone on drones. duckfartmike. duckfartmike seems like he’s serious. Those are his three favorite things. Duck. Fart. Mike. I think James Lipton is probably 78. Yo, I think he’s 93. Oooh. Oh!
James Lipton is 92?! Is he still doing it? What?! They had new eps dropping last year? Yeah. When Patriot Act launched, they were launching episodes? That’s why he quit. Okay, so the reason I’m taking us here is because I think we have a good chance of surviving for a good amount of time. What’s the highest you’ve ever gotten?
I’ve won a bunch of times. What?!
Yeah. What do you end up winning when you win? I mean, you don’t get anything. Just respect? You get the respect of your peers. Belief in yourself. I gained a ton of confidence. I got like a good weapon to start with, too. You do your thing. I’m just gonna chill at the top of this pyramid. Ah, dude. There’s someone with you? I came here for solitude. The F-word is a good curse word like all purpose. It’s the right one. Yeah. I would just say it serves as an exclamation point. It lets people know you are very serious. It’s also a verb. It’s also a verb. It’s a noun. It’s just a lot of things. Oh, shit. I didn’t even consider it’s noun usage. The noun usage is “Oh, this guy’s a fuck.” Oh no. Really? You’re just gonna light me up like that? Cool. Wait, wait. Did you do that whole game without the headphones on? Yeah I could hear it. I could just hear the bang. I wanted to hear the sound of your voice, man. I wanted a have a real conversation. My dulcet tones. Yeah, man in IRL. For me, it was N64. That was was the console. I played Goldeneye. Mario Karts.
Did you have an N64.
I had an N64. And Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time. How have they never made a Zelda movie? I feel like Link is such a great character. Wait, we can’t put this on the stream ’cause you gotta make that. You can’t put that out into the world.
What?! Because someone else is gonna make it then. Yeah, but I’m not the one to helm Link’s story. Why not? Don’t you think it would be a great–
We can reimagine Link as an Indian man. How come video game movies don’t translate? Are there any video game movies that translate? Everyone cringes. Everyone cringes when a video game– Uncharted is gonna be made. They’re making Halo into a Showtime series. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, I fucking like Tomb Raider. Fuck the haters. Was Detective Pikachu Good? But it was the closest. Oh, dude. How are we sleeping on those? Why are we sleeping on Angry Birds? There’s two Angry Birds?! It’s just Christopher Walken. It’s like his Norbit. Norbit is an all timer. The movie? For me. Yeah. That’s with Eddie Murphy, right? Yeah, yeah. A classic video game adaptation. Yeah. That was an Atari game, right? Norbit was an Atari game? [laughs] Norbit for Atari. Yeah. It came out before Pong. Absolutely not. But I think we should keep this, definitely, in the office. I’ll be honest with you right now just because I feel like we’re bonding over Fortnite.
Sure. I’ve been playing in my office. All the time.
I believe it. I have 2K. And so I’ve been in there with my created player. He’s 5 foot 3 and he dunks. What?!
Yeah. What happens if I go in the lava? I assume I die. Oh man, we’re so far. Dude you’re so far from– You’re like in the suburbs. Dude, you’ve changed.
I fucking left your ass. I’m sorry. Dude, you have changed. It’s like we were buddies in high school and like– Dude, I just wanted to settle down. It’s a slow lifestyle.
I’m out here living in lava. And you just moved out to the burbs. Dude, I want to build a family. It’s hard to do that on lava. Wow. Okay, here we go. Alright, well here’s the thing I got my own little lava island. Alright, let’s see if I just… Do you still talk to any of any of your friends from college? You know what, a buddy of mine from one of my first job out of college came to one of the tapings two weeks ago. Oh really?
Yeah. Thank you so much for coming, Evan. Yeah. Shouts out to Evan. Evan, thanks for coming, man. That’s really cool of you. What was–Yeah, wait. What job was it? First job out of college. Yeah. I basically worked IT. I got fired though. What?!
Yeah. I wasn’t really into it.
What did you you do to get fired? I just wasn’t good at my job. You’re on fire right now, Hasan. How am I doing?
Top 42. Woo! You cannot stop me.
No weapons, just running. Oh, here we go. Wait, no, no, no. Don’t break that. Don’t break that! Why? Why, why, why, why? Let me live. ‘Cause you–Look down at the chest and hold square. Hold it. There you go. Oh, wait. You got to get in the bush. Dude, give me the bush. Okay. R1. R1 again. And then hold R2. R2. Wait, what? Hasan, are you okay? I’m straight Flora and Fauna now. My man is goddamn foliage. Alright, should I lock in? Here we go. I mean that is, like, the ultimate pro move is Fortnite without volume.
For real?
Hasan is so good that he doesn’t even need to hear the game. The music and shit gives me anxiety. Okay, so stay right here. If you click the right joystick. Okay, now no one can see you. You just are a bush. From their vantage point, I’m a running bush, right?
Yes, right now. But if you– if you were to just, like, crouch like you were before, no one could tell that you were a person. Let’s do it. Yeah. Dude, you idiots. Look at this. This is why violence isn’t the answer. I’ve officially opted out of all this nonsense. Zach, this is genius. Yeah. Okay, wait. Now you gotta run into that circle though. There you go. We’re gonna win this game. Oh wait. Oh no. Oh no. Just stay. Just stay there. Oh no. He knew! How did he know? How did he know! Who’s fucking leaking info? Dude who leaked?
Who leaked in the administration? How’d he know? I think he saw a running bush and was like, “I should kill that.” Ahh, Biryani_14, why do you do that. Fuck, Bryan. Never mind.
You translate Bryan to Biryani automatically. Now you know what I’m thinking about. Are we going to do the full episode on it? Dude, give me the full 30. I need at least two field pieces on it. What was your favorite RPG? I really liked Metal Gear Solid. Metal Gear Solid’s great. Yeah. I played–I mean, my favorite game growing up was Kingdom Hearts. You’ve ever heard of that? Kingdom Hearts is great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The opening music’s great. Oh my– I fuckin’– I still run to that. It is like the best work out song I’ve ever heard. Just on loop? Oh, on loop, yeah. Straight. “Simple and Clean”, right?
“Simple and clean is the way that you’re making me feel tonight.” How many AP classes did you take in high school. I did a good hybrid of AP and Honors. Looking back on it, it wasn’t worth it. Kids, if you’re watching this, it’s not worth it. We’re gonna jump immediately. Why? ‘Cause I want to go to this place Lucky Landing. Alright, jump. Aw, dude I’m trying to come in with speed. Oh, there you go. That’s a freefall right there. Alright, let’s go to this really beautiful flower-tree. This feels good, man. What do you mean?
Just sitting here, shooting the shit. Aw, dude! Come on man. Did you seriously script that? What the hell? Where are you? Stay there. Dude, I’m dead. Oh, I’m not dead? I’ll come get–Wait, did someone shoot you? Oh, yeah. Alright, don’t do that. Dude, avenge my death, man. Please. Oh, fuck. Like right when we were having a good time. We were– I feel like we were really about to crack that open.
I know. No chance of that now, huh? What did you–Okay, Real, real talk. What was your first impression of me when I interviewed? Oh, dude. When you interviewed and you had the Harry Potter full on cut out. Oh yeah. I was like, “This guy’s either– I don’t know if this guy’s for real. I don’t know if this is a…” I used to have a full on, like, 6 foot Harry Potter cut out in my room. Straight up 6 foot Daniel Radcliffe behind him and was in the Skype interview. Yeah. It’s either, was just like, an elaborate, like, character thing and he’s fucking with us, in which case I’m just like… we need writers. Or– And the reality was so much worse, which was that I just thought it was cool. Yeah, it was gigantic. Way bigger than Daniel Radcliffe. It, like, almost hit the ceiling of my old bedroom. It took up a lot of the Skype interview. This has been fun. At the very least, we’ve gotten a chance to just talk. Did you have any questions for me? What’s the hardest you laughed at the show? Oooh.
What, like– ‘Cause I remember being at The Daily Show some of the funnest times were like on, like, tape days and like rehearsal days when you’re with the writers and you’re just, like, hanging out. Oh, man I think the many most fun–
When you all troll each other? Oh, yeah. I mean that’s the best. I mean– Oh wait. Someone just joined us! DroneAddict.
Someone you added joined us. One of our friends? Yeah. DroneAddict8. Dude, how do I talk to him? I don’t know if he has mic.
Dude. Dude! DroneAddict? Okay, if you press triangle We’ll all play. Maybe he’s good. Are there any love stories where people fall in love on Fortnite? There must be. Like meet-cute? You stumble into someone’s gun… those the late nights. When it’s those like the late nights when it’s like–
For real? When it’s like, when it’s like 2 A.M. and I get to– like during cricket, like I know you’re going to like interview Lalit and like me and Ismael just get to sit and like– Oh, yeah. –come up with a thousand things to ask him. Oh, ’cause you guys were here, right? Yeah. And we know that, like, realistically, we’re gonna have to ask him some, like, normal questions, but we just get to play for a while. Yeah, you guys ask some wild stuff. Yeah, that’s the funnest for me, too. It’s the– It’s the best. It’s like the stuff you know can’t make it. And then if it somehow does make it in. Yeah. I feel like I really started having fun on the show when I was, like, comfortable enough with you to, like, write jokes and scripts that I knew you’d be like–you would laugh at, but we couldn’t put in. Oh yeah. ‘Cause I’m like this is absolutely insane. Yeah. Yeah, we’ve got– We’ve got Drone Addict8 with us. DroneAddict, come with. DroneAddict’s coming. He knows what’s up. Wait, DroneAddict already died? Aw, dude. We haven’t even landed yet. Dude, rest in peace to our boy. Shouts out to a DroneAddict8. Dude, DroneAddict, it was really fun. I wish we’d gotten to know each other a little better. This was so much fun, man. It’s funny, he doesn’t even know that this is Hasan. Dude, I was just trying to, like– I honestly was trying to communicate with you DroneAddict and if you’re watching this, please subscribe to our other videos, they’re really good. Okay, wait, yeah. I’m gonna come to you. Oh my God. How do you somehow end up in like the most beautiful places? Oh, man. I’ve never seen this before. I’m running to the edge. I don’t know what it is but I just feel like it’s a metaphor for something. Hello? Who are you? Hey! What’s up? Is this actually Hasan? Yeah. Who is this? Can you let me hear me? Here, here. Turn me on. Turn me on. Hey! Hello! Voice chat, on. I heard someone. Dude, I feel like I’m, like, on the island. You know what I mean? I’m here. This is me. How do I it like send an S.O.S. Push to Talk, on. What am I pushing? What do I push? Dude, I heard someone. Oh, wait. Actually you know what. Here. Hey! Hey, this is Hasan. Dude, I feel like I’m calling my family back in India. Respond. I know. Dude I’m here. Watch us just win. No microphone that you can use. What?! “To get the word out, I had to go to where the gamers are.” What’s happening right now? Wait, what? What’s happening right now? Oh my God. [laughs] He’s playing the Video Games episode on his computer. DroneAddict! That was crazy, he was playing the episode. Yeah, let’s see what’s up. Please. This could have been the meet-cute. This– This moment? Yeah. Yeah. Dude, DroneAddict, don’t die. Oh, DroneAddict didn’t even get to play. DroneAddict– it says end game. He’s still with us, but… Oh, right there. There he is! There we go. You see it? DroneAddict, are you there. Yeah. Can you hear me? Is this actually Hasan? Hey, DroneAddict. Can you hear me? Yes, I can. That’s– Oh, sweet. Where in the world are you, Drone Addict? I’m in the lobby right now. No, what part of the world are you in? Oh, like in real life? In real life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m in New York. Where are you? Canada. I watched your recent episode on cruises. Zach, who’s the writer, he’s with me right now. He wrote that one. That was his idea. I watch your episode about labor abuses in the gaming industry and, like, I saw you playing And I friended you. This is insane. Oh my God. That’s awesome, man. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, too. Alright, what am I doing? How do I– How do I survive? You’re gonna die. Aw, come on dude. Don’t let me die! Wait, DroneAddict. What is your actual name? Or first name? My name is Ajeet. I can’t believe this is actually happening. Do you want a play? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. DrownAddict, let’s do this. Okay. Hasan, he has a name. And then, like, I watched the video again and I saw that pysspapa was also in the video and I was like, “This has to be the real one.” Dude, it’s the pysspapa. Oh my God. I’m just– I think it’s great that we’re connecting. I friended you, like, a few weeks ago when I watched the episode and then I just saw. I just logged on today and I saw that you were in my join party list and I was like totally freaking out and I didn’t even know if it was legit. Dude, it’s super legit. Let’s go. Lucky Landing? Your choice. Yeah sure. Okay. Yeah, we’ll go to Lucky Landing. It’s familiar territory. Wait, Ajeet, why did you die so early last game? Yeah. How’d you get killed so fast, dude? I landed at Pressure Plant. So, yeah. Why would you abandon the squad. No, I didn’t see your marker until I jumped. I don’t know, untrustworthy. Wow. I’m just kidding. I never actually thought that this is really– that this would really happen. ‘Cause I never, ever had heard of you before. And then I saw– and then I saw– It’s alright. Damn, dude. I’ve done a lot of stuff outside of just the show. DroneAddict, I was in a movie called “The Spy Who Dumped Me” and I played a guy named Duffer. DroneAddict died. Alright DroneAddict, where are you at? This guy’s gonna finish. Uh, oof. This guy’s got a pump too. Okay. Oh, come on! Who is this guy? Alright. Someone avenge my death! Hold on. Alright, pysspapa. Go in. I got us. Why does it feel like the stakes have ratcheted up so high now. Well, now that DroneAddict’s here, we can’t just like– Yeah, we’ve got to show out. Is DroneAddict dead? Yeah, I am. Oh, DroneAddict’s been dead. I also saw a video about the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. What is your favorite episode of the show? I don’t know. I really like the labor abuses in the video game industry. ‘Cause like, I love gaming and just, like, knowing about all that stuff is really cool. Oh, nice. I also really liked the newest ones about cruises. I liked the mini movie at the end. The like, trailer. That was so much fun. Oh yeah. What the fuck. Damn, SeasickPear just fucking wrecked my ass. Do you like play often? Sorry, sorry. That was too much. No. Pysspapa plays more than me. This is my first time ever playing really, really. Oh, okay. Let’s try and get a win. Yeah, yeah. Alright, let’s do it. What does it mean to get a win, like, does that means we have to place first, second, and third? Oh, no we’re gonna get first. No, we just have to place first. Yeah. Dude, that’s really hard. I actually can’t believe this is happening. Alright, let’s do this. Hasan’s all business. Yeah, dude we gotta win. Oh my God. Yeah, dude. DroneAddict, if it wasn’t for you, like, we were about to actually just go home. I mean, it’s not going. Right now, we’re just at the office. This is just our life now. Patriot Act is just our life. Wait, what’s your next episode going to be on? We did one on Canada that dropped today. Okay. I’m gonna watch that. ‘Cause I just got up like an hour ago.
Ajeet! To be young. Alright, let’s go… Tilted. Tilted? Alright. Where that orange…? We want combat. Oh, we’re going all up in it. Yeah, this is about to be insane. I’m good with– I’m good with pumps. I need a pump and an AR and I’m good. I don’t know, man. You’re talking a big game but you died both games really fast. I know. I’m sorry. No, I’m gonna die. Who’s your favorite player? Oh my god. Yup. Of course. I hit this guy for nine– He’s at five health. Oh, this place is kitschy. You have to open the door, you can’t break in this place. How do I do it? Uh, press square. Oh, who is this guy?! Dude. Back up! Dude, Drone Addict. What happened to you? This is your supposed to be your hood. I know. Alright, should we played one more? Yeah, let’s play one more. This has to be the win. Ajeet, do you have any questions? Um, no. Not really. Fair enough. Everything’s been answered already. I get it. I understand, man. I just opened up Netflix and I see “The Two Sides of Canada.” Oh, he’s watching right now. Sounds pretty good. Wait, should we tell him to pause it so that the audio isn’t ruined. Alright, dude– Alright, dude. Pause it once we get in the game because we’ve got to win. Okay. Alright. But the episode’s funny. Did you come to Ottawa to interview Justin Trudeau? Yeah I came to Ottawa. That’s where I live. What?! Dude, yeah. We were just there a couple weeks ago. Nice. Let’s not play too aggressive, so let’s go to Shifty Shaft. Somehow you’re gonna find like a beautiful mountain. Can you explain the name “Drone Addict?” Yeah. What’s the story behind “DroneAddict?” So, basically, I’m just like addicted to drones and that’s basically it. Yeah. What does that mean? Like, you own a drone? Like you own those drones that people put cameras on? Yeah I own two drones. So you’re just like a cinematographer. I usually just fly them around for fun, though. Got it. I don’t even want to tell you how I got my name. Keep it that SFW, dog. It is SFW. Knocked one. You knocked one? Yep. Nice. I knocked one. Oh nice. DroneAddict took one out. Alright, nice. Alright, so is this like our bunker? Are we just holding it down over here? Yeah we’re doing good here. Yeah, there’s one more. Where? It’s on you, Hasan. Uh, oh. Oh, whoa! Who is this person? I got ’em. Take ’em out. Nice. Nice. Oh, brutal. Execution! Dude, that is straight teamwork. Guys, we’re doing good. Wait, Hasan, do you have a gun? Yeah. Oh, Hasan. What’s up? Nevermind. We’re surrounded. We’re surrounded? Yep. Help. Pysspapa take ’em out! Got ’em. DroneAddict got ’em. Nice, DroneAddict. Thanks. Okay, uh– Wait, do you have minis? I have two of them. Cool, thank you. We can light a campfire out there. Alright, meet back– back in the cabin. Yeah. Dance break? Sure. Let’s do it. How do I dance? Hold down on this. I’m coming to you. Nice. Nice. Alright. I feel good. Oh, DroneAddict, do you want to get in? Alright, man. Easy on the dabbing, DroneAddict. We’re in the circle right now so we’re– Guys, we all need a campfire right now. kind of chillin’. Oh, here. Wait, Hasan, Where are you? Oh, uh here I’m going drop this for you. What does a campfire do? It going to heal you. Celebratory shots. Yeah. Just shots fired off. We’re gonna chill by fire. You just do that. [dancing] Yeah, I’ve never seen it before. Let me go check out these houses. Are you really looking at real estate right now? It’s a buyer’s market. Recession coming up, trying to swoop in. Hasan, yeah. Come to us. How do I get inside the house? There we go. Alright, everybody stay here. Nice. We’re getting healed up. Woo, I feel good! Yeah. This is like the first time that I really felt we’ve all bonded as a team. We’re really clicking. Some more. Nice. Dude, thank you, DroneAddict. Party is loaded up. Let’s roll. Or do we just stay low? Do we just keep it peaceful? I’m going to eat some mushrooms to get back up to full Oh dude, don’t do mushrooms right now. We need you. We need you focused. Dude, pysspapa, don’t– Dare I? Dare I do it. Don’t do that. Dude, we work together, man. Dude. Dude! Zach! Don’t do it back. Come on, dude. I didn’t start this. Dude. I did not start this. I swear to fucking God. Dude. DroneAddict. Come on man, we need you to intervene. Oh, we’re still in the circle. Things are looking good. Things are looking good. Guys, Top 44. That’s it?! Dude, we’ve been, like, holding it down for a minute. [laughs] Dude, we’ve spent a full on Thanksgiving with DroneAddict. DroneAddict Minhaj. He’s a part of the family. He’s a part of the family now, dude. Dude, DroneAddict is one of the EP’s on the show. Created by Hasan Minhaj, Prashanth Venkataramanujam and DroneAddict8. Oh, who wants a purple tac? I’d love that. Damn. A classic distraction by Drone Addict. Wow. Thanks. Dude, Zach. You talk this much shit on the reg? This is so fun. With people who are helping your life? Nah, I know. I own DroneAddict a great debt. What, Hasan, what are you doing right now? Dude, do you ever stop to think? We live in the Digital Age of Distraction, can you just at least live in the moment for a second? Oh, we got another person in our party! We got a full squad. Y0y0man, what’s up! I’m actually so happy that you guys this game is done he’ll be with us. What if Y0y0man is just mean and calls us names. I’m actually so happy that I actually got to play with you guys. This is, like, amazing. Oh, I just nailed one for 62. Do you see where I am? Yep. Don’t push yet. ‘Cause… Yeah. Actually I’m going to drop in on ’em. Are you gonna rift? Wait, wait, wait for me. I’m going to come to you. All right. Oh how can we even taking Come too. What’s a rift? It’s this thing right here. Yeah. It’s this thing. Come to me. Alright, Hasan. Come to us. Where are you? Oh, shoot. I rifted by accident. Oh, dang. Alright, Hasan. We’re going into this thing. Look at me. Wait, where are you? Here you go. Are you– Where’d you…? Get in that. Oh no. I need help. I need help. Oh, no. Hasan, you missed it. Dude, you just went through a space-time continuum? Yeah. Now I’m alone? I hit one for 89. I’m just gonna go on foot. I got one, knocked one. Knocked two. Killed. Nice. Alright, we got ’em all. Dude, I’m just trying to find you guys on foot. I’m just doing some cardio. Was that you? That was me. That was me. Oh, there’s Hasan. Hey, hey! Dude. Oh, yo. People here. I’m marking it. No, no. DroneAddict’s just, like, snowboarding for some reason. What are you doing? What?! I shouldn’t have pushed so quickly. Aw, dude! What did you do, DroneAddict? Aw, I just killed myself. Wait, Hasan, can you come to me? Where are you at, pysspapa? Okay. I’m on top of that rock. Up the hill. Alright, jump up that. Dude, I don’t have a vertical for that. No, no. Go to the side. Oh, yeah. Yeah, DroneAddict’s right. There you go. Now hold square. Trying to get my Reboot Card but the problem is we can’t reboot anywhere. Thank you. Dude, we have got to survive. These guys are good. These guys are good. Where are they? Build behind you. Build behind you. How’s this guy hitting me? No, they’re called stink bombs. That’s fine. Alright. You’re our last resort, pysspapa. Pysspapa, you’re our last resort. There is no chance I survived this. DroneAddict, it’s been real. We’re now counting on pysspapa. Yeah. Oh. Alright dude, it’s been fun. Alright. Later man.
Thank you guys so much. Peace. Alright. Should we go? I gotta go to the bathroom. Dude, let’s get back to our lives. Yeah. Oh, it’s too much. That got super real.

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