Hello Counselor EP.430 Part.1 [ENG, THA/2019.09.30]

We root for you to solve your concerns! Tell us your concerns! (Hello) The handsome actor, Oh Jiho! Hello. Announcer Choi Dongseok! Seungkwan and S.Coups of Seventeen! (So handsome) And she’s a singer from Russia. Lana! (Pleased) Long time no see, Jiho. This is my fourth time on this show. I heard you did a comedy movie. Yes, I made myself look foolish… So that’s why you’re here. Last time, you were here to promote a play. No, no… No, no. We were going to bring him in today and he happened to do a movie recently. I play a bum. No bum looks like you. So it’s ridiculous. Right. Didn’t your son have his first birthday recently? Does he look like you? People say my son is handsome. But my first daughter… People should say your daughter is pretty. “Oh, how cute.” That’s what they say. When you want to say a baby’s pretty, but she really isn’t, the nice thing to say is… “Oh, it’s a baby.” What’s worse is… “Oh, so warm.” Warm to the touch. Girls change as they grow up. She’s really pretty now. But when it comes to parenting, ask this guy. He’s the first KBS announcer to take a paternity leave. Out of all the KBS announcers? You’ve been married for 10 years. Yes, exactly 10 years. I heard you took wedding photos again. We went to the Maldives. We put up a tripod and did a second wedding shoot. The Maldives look great. So pretty. That looks good. That’s my daughter pretending that she’s vomiting because it’s so cheesy. “What are you doing? Barf!” (A big twist) How cute. And for the second photo… If you look at my feet, one is buried in the sand. (Oh, dear!) All the photos have stories to them. Seventeen is here. Seungkwan, your jawline looks slimmer. I was shocked when I saw myself here last time. It wasn’t a good look. I looked so bloated. Now I know how to reduce swelling. Teach us a tip. So basically, you hold your solar plexus… Everyone’s doing it. You must be bloated since it’s the morning. You look straight up and then you stick out your lips. – To stretch this out? / – Yes. (Pouting) It’s like fighting with yourself for one minute. It’s fighting? (Jawline, get slimmer) So you stretch when you’re bloated. Right, right. So Lana is on our show for the first time. I bet some words were confusing or difficult when you first learned Korean. When you go to a bank or a hospital they ask you, “How did you get here?” Sure. We say that a lot. That got me flustered, so I said that I took the bus. (It does make sense) They’re asking, “How may I help you?” So how did you get to our show? I’m here to listen to concerns. Now she understands. I thought she’d say, “My manager drove me here.” Once again, we’ll talk about three concerns today. Please show us the keywords. “Between Love and Obsession.” “Do You Want to Die?” “Please Stop.” These sound pretty serious. “Between Love and Obsession.” Hello. I’m a 22-year-old girl living a suffocating life. Ring-ring. “Where are you?” “Oh, I’m off work, so I’m going to meet a friend.” “No, no. Just come straight home.” “I haven’t seen her in two months. Just for one hour.” “No! Come home now!” This person that’s always on my case is… Her dad? (Who is it?) My 27-year-old older brother. Her brother… Why? She’s an adult. “Hey, who did you meet up with yesterday? How old is he? Where does he live? What’s his deal? Don’t ever see him again.” Not a single guy has been approved by my brother. So… “I think we should break up.” “What? Why?” “I never get to see you! This isn’t dating.” Dating a guy for one year is on my bucket list now. My brother even does this. “Give me your cell phone.” “Come on. Respect my privacy.” “Give it here! Who’s 4884? Is this a guy?” Can you guys help me get some privacy in my life? That’s what she wrote. Who has a family member that meddles all the time? – I do. / – You do? I used to live with my grandparents. My grandma really meddles a lot. Your grandmother? I have to be home by 6 p.m. When I call her, she asks me if I’m with a guy or a girl. So you came to Korea to get away from grandma? A bit. I bet she was worried when you said you were going. It took me months to convince her. Your grandmother… So a sister that’s struggling with her older brother’s meddling wrote to us. Come on out! (Who is always being watched by her big brother?) (Lee Gyeongju) Take my hand. S.Coups is escorting her. What if your brother doesn’t like this? (Her brother’s glare!) Her brother’s glaring now. When S.Coups escorted her. The brother didn’t like that they held hands. (He’s so cautious) It’s so bad that you had to write to us? I’m 22 and my brother is 27. He has always meddled. No matter who I meet up with, “Where are you?” “When will you be back?” “How much did you spend?” “When will you be back?” He’s always texting me. I can’t stay out overnight or travel. He always says no whenever I ask him. I sleep at home and go to work and come straight home after work. – That’s my life in a nutshell. / – So frustrating. Usually, it’s the parents that meddle. My parents got a divorce when we were young. So that’s why he’s so strict. It’s just my dad, my older brother and my older sister. The four of us. But my dad lives in our hometown and my sister lives on her own too. I’ve been living with my brother since I was 20. That’s why he meddles even more. Well, that’s understandable. So you live with just your brother? He got married last year, so I live with him and his wife. Oh, his wife. – You still live together? / – Yes. (Gosh…) With your brother and his wife… I bet your sister-in-law doesn’t like that. I agree. Is he strict on his wife too? He doesn’t say a thing to her. He’s only super strict with me. He must be very firm. “No!” He scares me a bit. When your brother tells you to come home early, does his wife say, “Why are you back so soon?” They’re newlyweds. She already gave up. Do you get along with your sister-in-law? Yes, we get along. Sure. The fact that they live together means that her sister-in-law is understanding. You wrote that it’s your dream to date a guy for a long time. My brother started meddling more when I got my first boyfriend. “Where are you?” “How much did you spend?” He always asked me that. Our relationship only lasted 70 to 80 days. So dating a guy for a year is on my bucket list. What was your longest relationship? I’ve only dated one guy since I was 20. Only one guy since you were 20? When you’re on the phone with your boyfriend… I just feel uncomfortable. Just pretend you’re talking to a girl. “Alright, girl. I got it.” Try that. No, I can’t. I feel guilty. You don’t need to tell him everything. Just keep it hidden. He checks my cell phone. He checks my texts and my bank account. Your bank account? Yes, he checks that. I think he’s really sensitive about money. Checking your bank account… He’s trying to be like the father. They’ve been living together since she was young. Does your brother give you an allowance? An allowance? Was asking that such a crime? I was just curious. (She’s about to get angry) Let’s meet this older brother. Hello. (Who is the meddling older brother?) From the way he’s dressed… That’s not how young people dress. – He even has a vest on. / – That’s uncommon. I dress like this because of my job. – You look very dapper. / – Yes. Do you understand why your sister is concerned? I’ve never thought of it as a concern because… Don’t all big brothers with younger sisters worry about them? You think all big brothers are like you. Do you check your wife’s cell phone? No. She’s good at taking care of herself. But I think my sister has poor judgement. (What?) How could you say that about her? No, I… – Poor judgement? / – Yes. That’s the perfect outfit to say something like that. – It all adds up. / – He’s a real square. Not all older brothers inspect the cell phones of their younger sisters. It’s not inspecting her phone. My sister is weak and frail. I just check to see if she’s talking to bad people. That’s why you inspect her phone? Wouldn’t she just tell you? You can tell just by looking? This is… Too many questions at once… You have poor judgement! Can you tell who’s a bad person just by checking her cell phone? It’s not that… I read everything too. – You read everything? / – That’s even stranger. You have no respect for her privacy. Privacy… She’s your sister, but you should give her privacy. She’s my little sister. I should be able to look. (He’s so stubborn!) (He’s worse than my grandma) Isn’t it okay when she’s with her boyfriend? She’s with a man that loves her. I’ve seen the guys that she’s dated. They never have a proper job or they don’t have good values. Your sister is 22 years old. Guys her age don’t usually have a proper job. Right! That’s why… (Flustered) He’s so hardcore. She doesn’t have to date a guy her age. So you’d prefer it if she dated a guy in his early 40s with a proper job? – That’s not true, right? / – It’s not like that… Let me explain. I didn’t think her boyfriend was a bad guy. She had a fight with him one time. Even if she had a fight, she should still go to work. But she stayed in her room and cried all day. I saw how she suffered. So I don’t think she was with the right guy. Your sister cried all day? Shouldn’t she start dating when she has the strength to overcome those things? Why did you let your brother see you cry? (How frustrating) Dating is an experience. Through those experiences she’ll face failures, so she’ll marry the right guy later on. Those experiences would improve her judgement. Didn’t you date when you were 22 years old? Yes, but… Dating… Why date when you have poor judgement? She said that her boyfriend dumped her because I meddled too much. But, some girls I dated when I was in my early 20s had it even worse than my sister. But that was never a reason for breaking up. Maybe the guy just didn’t like her enough. Give us an example. How did they have it worse than your sister? A 5 o’clock curfew. She had to go home before sunset? How old was this girl? 5 o’clock? No, no… For real. For real. So the guy you dated… Has he ever complained about your older brother? Yes, since we couldn’t see each other often. He said that was hard for him. So that was one reason why you broke up. When will it be okay for your sister to start dating? As long as she meets a proper guy, she could start dating tomorrow. What are your standards for a proper guy? Someone that doesn’t waste their life. A hard worker. An honest and hardworking guy. You also keep asking your sister how much money she spends. You don’t even give her an allowance. She works and makes money. Why do you keep checking her spending? I have something to say about this. Gosh… It’s not that I don’t trust her. I know she’s good at her job. Her dream was opening a photo studio. I spent tens of thousands to help her open one. Really? I trust her when it comes to work. But she’s a CEO at a very young age. That means… I’m sure she meets good people, but I’m worried people will go after her for her money. That’s why I’m sensitive about money. Very cool. You helped her open a photo studio? Your brother did that for you? Yes, he did and I’m really thankful. There’s a security camera in the photo studio. He watches me through that. Gosh! Is it connected to his cell phone? My boyfriend visited and was sitting on the counter. My brother called. “Don’t let him sit there.” He spoke in a low voice. He was watching us through the security camera. “Don’t let him sit there.” (That must’ve been a surprise) This is why we installed a security camera. This is her first time working in the service industry. And she’s a shy person. That’s why I check to see how she’s doing. So this is what happened with her boyfriend. They say, “Opportunity makes the thief.” You never know. He’s sitting on the counter. Stealing money from your girlfriend is super lame. No, I didn’t know that was her boyfriend. I only saw the back of his head. He didn’t have to talk in such a low voice if he didn’t know. Let’s hear that low voice. I don’t have a low voice. This is news to me. Your sister said it was a low voice. So you’re single now because of your brother? No, I started seeing someone a few days ago. But… She has a boyfriend? He didn’t know! He didn’t know! And he’s younger… Younger! (She’s dating a younger guy) And he’s younger. If he’s younger than 22… – Just one year younger. / – One year. The brother’s surprised. You’re surprised? You didn’t know, did you? No, this… – You didn’t know? / – No… This isn’t a lie? This is true? (Is this a prank on me?) (Confirmed by the sister’s friends) So she is seeing someone. This is news to me. She’s seeing a guy a year younger than her. I think you should take that vest off. Your brother has standards for your boyfriends. I guess this guy isn’t like that. He probably doesn’t have a proper job yet. Yes, that’s right. (How frustrating) But your sister needs dating experience to learn about the world. She’s in her early 20s. I think my sister has low self-esteem. Whenever her feelings are hurt, it takes her a while to recover. She’s mentally weak. That’s because you keep protecting her. You should talk with her and be a good listener. But you’re just strict on her. Honestly, I can’t stop being strict. I think I’ll ease up on her when she becomes a stronger person, but not now. (This isn’t going to be easy) Does your brother meddle when you hang out with your friends? Yes, it takes them two hours by bus to get from Buyeo to Cheonan. They travel two hours to come see me. I can’t ask them to pay. – Sure, they came all that way. / – You treat them. It’s not like I take them out to fancy restaurants. I just treat them to a simple meal. If they came from Buyeo, shouldn’t she treat them to a meal? I think her friends come to see her because she has a photo studio and she’s a CEO now. Her friends come see her to get a free meal? I don’t think they’re that close. Her friends are either unemployed or students. I think my sister gets the short end of the stick. Her friends look very flustered. They’re glancing at the older brother. Are they the friends from Buyeo? I used to live in Buyeo, but I moved to Daejeon. I haven’t seen her in 4 months. – In 4 months? / – Yes. He says we’re all incompetent and unemployed, but the two of us have jobs. Our schedules don’t allow us to see her often. I haven’t seen her in like 1.5 years. I have weekends off and Gyeongju only gets Tuesdays off. Since I have weekends off, I go visit Gyeongju and then I go home after a few hours. You’re a good friend. When do you feel sorry for her? In high school, Gyeongju wasn’t allowed to stay out all night, so I slept over at her house instead. Gyeongju had to sleep alone on a rainy day once. (I remember) She held me as she slept. So… – She was lonely and scared. / – She feels bad. (She feels bad for her friend’s situation) Does her brother call often when you’re together? Yes, that’s true. Her older sister calls too. Sometimes, she asks for a photo of where we are. If Gyeongju goes out for drinks, her brother calls. “Are you with a guy?” He always talks in a low voice. Low voice! Always in a low voice. How does it sound? He said that Gyeongju has poor judgement. But it’s not like that at all. She started running the photo studio at age 20. She always has a goal. Gyeongju is at her peak age. She only gets one day off, but she gets no freedom. Her brother wants her to get stronger, but he’s not helping her at all. I wish he’d trust her more. The other friend, why did you suddenly start crying? Well… I just started crying! Gosh… Because you feel bad for your friend? Because her brother’s so strict? (Tries to hold back her tears) (Now she gets teary) (He feels a bit wary) Her brother’s going to say, “Don’t be friends with her. “She’s too weak.” “All she does is cry! Stop seeing her! You’d better stop seeing her!” Say something to the brother. Tell him to tone it down. (Will she say something?) Can you… (Fails) Don’t cry! Don’t cry! Become a strong friend! A strong friend! (Holds back her tears) (Second attempt) Just trust her. (Avoids eye-contact) Please trust her. (She’s thankful and feels terrible) (Gosh, this is sad…) So your sister’s friends are asking you to trust your sister. (Can you trust her now?) I think… My sister might feel that I’m meddling too much now, but this will definitely help her in the end. (It was all for nothing) So I have no intention of changing yet. Why are you so sure? (Frustrated) How were you in your early 20s? I started working in high school. I got scholarships all throughout college. You worked hard. She should make some sacrifices in her 20s. That’s what’s unfortunate to me. But… Is there a special reason why this worries you? Our father was very patriarchal. He never set foot in the kitchen. My parents split up when I was in 8th grade. It’s hard for a single father to raise kids. They usually start womanizing, drinking or gambling. But he started wearing an apron in the kitchen. I still remember that very clearly. In my life, my father is my biggest hero. And my sister is my father’s daughter. I don’t want her to tarnish his name. (He feels pressured as the oldest son) It must’ve been hard for you to raise three kids. It was very hard at first. Incredibly hard. I even considered suicide. But with three kids, I couldn’t think like that. I kept going for my kids. After hearing from your son, I get that you have to work hard in life. But do you understand your daughter’s concern? My son paid for his wedding and his store. I didn’t contribute any money. I’m proud of him. He’s very reliable. Yes, of course. I didn’t think he was so meddlesome. I tried to talk to him about this. He never used to talk back to me. But now he yells at me. So this is a concern for you too, sir. But I understand where he’s coming from. I feel bad about it. So your father takes your brother’s side? I can’t even talk to my family members. It feels like nobody in my family is on my side. (I bet that feels lonely) Why not move out and live on your own? I’ve brought that up before. My brother said no way. He sounds scary when he talks to me. He also loses his temper. He has really hurt me a lot. He apologizes afterwards, but sometimes, I only accept his apology because he scares me. But you still feel hurt. All big brothers and parents are the same. I only say those things for her own good. Even if I expect a lot out of her, it won’t all go the way I want. So please be understanding of that… (Everything has to be your way?) What do you really want from your brother? I wish he wouldn’t call when I’m out with my friends or boyfriend. I wish he wouldn’t meddle with my spending. And I wish he’d stop checking my cell phone and bank account. Can you do that for her? I’ll… I’ll try. Don’t try. Do it. She could sue you. That’s her personal information. And… (What else is she going to say?) People with power don’t know. “I’m doing this for you.” But the person you say that to is so scared. Really, really scared. She’s past the age where you can treat her like that. You protected her like a father and a big brother. (It is admirable that he protected his sister) But you still treat her like a child. You still treat her like a minor. She’s 22 years old. Now it’s all up to her. She has to be responsible for her own decisions. You’re meddling in her life like it’s your own life, claiming that you’re protecting her. (Claiming it’s protection when it’s just meddling) If that’s love, do you not love your wife? Why aren’t you that strict with your wife? Do you not love her? You don’t have to protect her? (If that’s what you call love, do that to your wife too) (Well said!) Alright… Big brother. You need to apologize to Yeongja. What do you think about this? It’s a good point. This is very important. (Will this older brother change?) So… I have two siblings. I practically raised my younger sister. I helped her out a lot financially. But… Because of that I kept telling my sister what to do and what not to do. So this is what happened after that. She stopped calling me. She would accept my help, but she never told me her feelings. Sure. (She accepted help, but didn’t express her feelings) I bet you don’t know what would really make you happy. You think you’ll be happy if your sister becomes successful and meets the right guy. But I bet you’ll feel the happiest when your sister calls you with a smile on her face. – It’s going to happen. / – Right. (True happiness is when your sister is happy too) Tell your brother how you want to live your life. Tell him what you want from him. I’m going to open a savings account. I’m going to get a big sign for the studio next year. I plan on sending dad on a trip abroad with the money I make in five years. So just… Trust me… I’d like you to trust me. Say some closing words to your sister. I even said yesterday that I wouldn’t come here. (But now…) (Even now?) But I think I would’ve regretted it if I didn’t. (Well said) Because… I didn’t think it was a concern even when I was here. But after hearing from everyone, I feel like it’s a concern. I think I have to change. It’s good that you came. I’d like to truly thank this show. (This talk show only exists because of you all) Alright, some closing words for your sister. Tell her that you love her. It’s so cringy. Just say it anyway. This is when you say it. Say it in your low voice. Let’s hear that low voice. I can’t do that. But I plan on following through with everything we talked about immediately. (We hope the brother will change) So he admits it now. Very cool. Sir. You worked hard to raise some good kids. My son played the role of the father, which I’m thankful for and I feel sorry. But from now on, I’ll be the father, so he should just be the older brother. I call Gyeongju, my baby, since she’s the youngest. I’ll try to change too. Let’s be happy together. I love you. Very nice! (She thought nobody was on her side…) (But now her family has taken the first step forward) (She dreams of being happy again) Let’s start with Lana. Is this a concern? I don’t have an older brother. I always wanted one. But not anymore! If you had a brother like him. Even though you’re family, you shouldn’t force your standards on them. I think it’s a concern. I think it’s a concern. Pardon my asking, but can you take your vest off? I’m only saying this because your standards in life are too strict. And you’re forcing those standards on your sister. But everyone has different standards in life. If you think this is a concern, press the button! (How many people think the brother is meddlesome?) Time’s up! Show us the results. “Between Love and Obsession.” Out of 200 people… How many votes? – 145. / – 145 votes. This one is “Please Stop.” Hello. I’m a woman in my 40s with two kids. Wives always want to visit their parents often, but I don’t want to. “Dad, I’m here.” “Your father isn’t home! He went out again!” My 80-year-old father farms all day. He grows rice, chilies, garlic and ginger. He works on a 16,500 square meter field by himself! Without machines! He does everything by himself, so… “Ow! Ow, my back! Ow, my legs! My legs!” “Dad, you went out to work again? Stop working so much, dad!” “Quiet, you! What’s the point of lazing around? Ow! Ow, my back!” He’s always sore at night, but he’s so stubborn. And… “Dad, what’s happened to your leg?” “I was on the cultivator and I fell off a cliff.” “You should’ve went to the hospital!” “Oh, it’s no big deal. I’m going to the chili field.” He could’ve really injured himself, yet he goes to farm again. I want to stop worrying about him. Please stop my dad. 16,500 square meters… That’s so… That’s like as big as a baseball field. – Yeah, almost. / – Right. And he works alone without using machines. (Amazing) Have your parents ever made you sad? I lived with my grandparents. They are over 70 now. My grandma is a doctor. She’s a doctor? Very cool. You’re bragging. She’s a doctor! (Hahaha) He always says the same thing. My grandpa has a really weak heart. “What’s the point of quitting work? I’m doing this for you.” Whenever he says that, I worry more. At least he has a doctor by his side. You don’t have to worry as much. Let’s meet this person that wrote to us. Come on out! (Who is worried about her 80-year-old father?) (Lee Hyangsuk) A lot of elderly people in the countryside are farmers. But my dad works way too much. He’s 80… He turned 80 this year. 80 this year. The field is around 16,500 square meters and he works on it with just my mom. He’s always groaning when he’s asleep. It breaks my heart whenever I hear that. Where do your parents live? Seosan, Chungcheongnam-do. That’s where Yeongja is from. That’s my hometown! Hello! I’m Mr. Seaside Village. So what are they famous for? What do they grow? Seosan is famous for garlic and ginger. They grow the best garlic for making kimchi. Six plump cloves in a bulb. Yes, that’s right. Grilled garlic with grilled pork belly… (I guess that’s what I’m having for dinner) So they grow garlic. What else? Garlic, ginger, rice… The rice paddy is big. The rice paddy is the biggest. They also grow onions, potatoes, leeks, – beans… / – Beans. And whenever there’s any unused land, he’s all over it. He can work on a field that big because he’s still healthy, right? I thought he was healthy. But a few months ago, he made a wrong turn on his cultivator and fell off a cliff. (Oh, no) (That’s so dangerous) (Part 2 is coming up soon)

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