Home Alone 2: Lost in New York – Nostalgia Critic

This episode brought to you by Stardust: Fans sharing video reactions to movies, TV, and trailers. Hello, I’m the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don’t have to. Well, it’s Christmas Eve, and that means meeting up with your friends and loved ones. And trying to stop them from killing each other. Especially when your friends and loved ones are as polar opposite as they can get. Malcolm: Uncle Lies, Aunt Despair, can I have some water tonight? Uncle Lies: Well, I suppose you’ve been good enough this year. Honey, why don’t you share some of yours? Aunt Despair: Here you go. Chester A. Bum: Oh, now that’s no way to treat a child! Doe: Yeah, why don’t you raise yours like we raised ours? Tamara: I’m pretty sure they did raise me before I got abandoned in the Balto review. Aunt Despair: Mmm, no, that wasn’t you. Tamara: Pretty sure it was. Uncle Lies: No, we remember the children we abandon. Chester: Do you? Critic: Well, I don’t know about you, but I sure am excited for our Christmas meal! Malcolm: Yeah, where is it? We’ve been waiting forever. Uncle Lies: Now, son, don’t make us abandon you like we did her. Doe: But you just said- NC: The meal’s taking a while because it’s being specially delivered. Trust me, you’ll only want an expert to deal with something so perfectly Christmasy. Chester: Well, as long as it’s edible, I’m good. Doe: Honey! Chester: OK, it doesn’t have to be edible. Aunt Despair: That explains why your kid looks like she ate chimney. Tamara: It tasted like dying! Doe: Well, at least we know where our kid is! Aunt Despair: What are you even talking a- Oh, now I get it. Uncle Lies: Hey, boy, stop eating that glue and save some for me! Malcolm: I feel colors! Chester: Parents of the year. Doe: He won’t even share! Aunt Despair: You say something over there, Pubic Wig? NC: Hey, why don’t we watch a movie?! The perfect Christmas interaction where we don’t have to have any interaction. Aunt Despair: Home Alone 2? You couldn’t even put on Home Alone 1? Malcolm: Ooh, I love this movie. Uncle Lies: You do? Tamara: Me, too! Doe: I thought most people only like the first one. NC: Exactly, they’ve seen it so many times, it’s practically background noise. But everyone has interesting thoughts about Home Alone 2. You see, when the original came out in 1990, it was huge. It played at #1 for 12 weeks and turned a relatively unknown child actor, Macaulay Culkin, into a mega star. So not surprisingly, 2 years later, a sequel came about, giving everybody the same comedy they grew to love. And I do mean THE SAME COMEDY. Many people were angered at how much repeating there was, reusing the same jokes, scenarios, even teaching the same lessons that was learned in the original! Macaulay Culkin and director Chris Columbus even mock it in the first film’s commentary. Chris Coloumbus’ Commentary: John, you said you could write this on the weekend. I wonder how long it took you to write the second one. It’s like a little bit of cut-and-paste, and boom, you’re done! Sequel! Bam! NC: But much like Ghostbusters 2, people totally forgot they hated it because… C’MON! Well, I’m here to see if there’s any validity to that “C’MON!” and look at a movie that seems to divide many, but at least can serve as a harmless distraction. Aunt Despair: I’m only watching this for Sharknado star John Heard. Chester: Give it a chance. This is the greatest movie I’ve ever seen in my life, and I don’t say that often. Doe: It’s true. NC: Let’s take a gander at Home Alone 2. We start off this roller coaster of variety with practically the same music against the same credits with the same exterior shot followed by the same interior shot. OK, I know you’re trying to establish a style, but when you don’t even need to move the tripods from your last shoot, you might wanna mix it up a bit. Hopefully, everyone’s character traits are repeated, too. Uncle Frank: Hey, easy on the fluids, pal. Buzz: Now you can be a scag of a slightly darker shade of skin. Uncle Frank: You better not wreck my trip, you little sourpuss. Your dad’s paying good money for it. Kevin: And you know what? If I had my own money, I’d go on my own vacation alone. NC: Yeah, OK, let’s address what’s arguably one of the biggest problems with the film: Macaulay Culkin’s performance sucks. But it’s not really his fault. He already played up the kid who has to act like an adult in the first film and he immediately became the biggest star in the world. And that’s not exaggerating, he was everywhere for a while. That kind of attention, so quickly, so young, is gonna result in this kind of performance. The “I don’t care I’m cool as shit now” performance. Kevin: He didn’t mean what he said, he was just sucking up to you. At first, you look kinda scary, but when I think about it, it’s not so bad. Without any of you guys, and I’d have the most fun in my whole life. NC: It would happen to you, it would happen to me, it would happen to anyone. There’s really no blame. It’s just the situation. With that said, let’s make fun of this like hell! Kate: Honey, are you packed yet? Kevin: Yes. Talkboy: Yes. NC: I’m trying to see if I can literally phone in my performance. Kate: Did you see what Grandma Penelope sent you for the trip? Kate: Did you see what Grandma Penelope sent you for the trip? An inflatable clown to play with in the pool. Kevin: How exciting. Kevin: How exciting. NC: I can’t tell. Are you excited? It’s eerily similar to all the times you “actually” are excited!
NC: I can’t tell. Are you excited? It’s eerily similar to all the times you “actually” are excited! NC: I can’t tell. Are you excited? It’s eerily similar to all the times you “actually” are excited! It’s eerily similar to all the times you actually are excited! Kevin: Merry Christmas, Kevin. This is the greatest accident of my life. How exciting. Why do we have to go to Florida? There’s no Christmas trees in Florida. Kate: Kevin, what is it with you and Christmas trees? TV: Stay at the world renowned Plaza Hotel. NC: Yeah, most of this opening dialogue you can just replace with… “Why can’t setup for second or third act payoff?” “Bad joke to make it look like we’re not setting up for the second or third act payoff.” “Honey, did you setup for second or third act payoff?” “Segue to other setup for second or third act payoff to make you forget about this setup for second or third payoff.” Speaking of which… Kevin has to grab his tie while his uncle sings in the shower and decides to record it. I do hope the dollar store microphone on that thing picks up the clearest audio both inside and outside the room. Frank: Get out of here, you nosy little pervert, or I’m going to slap you silly! NC: Ironically, Macaulay Culkin might be the only person from Hollywood not told that yet. He performs at a Christmas pageant with his brother Buzz, who proceeds to make fun of him. Oh, those easily amused pageant-goers. Look, the letter B! You’re so ready to watch Home Alone 3! Kevin finds out what Buzz is doing and punches him. But, because this is a Family Matters episode now it has to go more over the top. Urkel: Did I do that? NC: Funny enough, this reveals that the only character in this sequel that strangely evolved is Buzz. I know that sounds strange, seeing how bullies are always the most underdeveloped characters, but he legitimately grows as a character. He’s still a bully, but now he knows how to manipulate, his vocabulary shot up, and he seems wittier and funnier. Buzz: My prank was immature and ill timed. Merry Christmas, indeed. What a troubled young man. NC: The only downgrade is when he is mean, his wordage is a lot more… um… Disney Channel. Buzz: Beat that, you little trout sniffer. NC: Ooh, trout sniffer, that’s much more intimidating than… Buzz: […] If you were growing on my ass! NC: But hey, if you’re not a fan of how the language in this one is more cleaned up than the last one, don’t worry, there’s plenty of more shit repeated from the first film. Kevin: If I had my own money I’d go on my own vacation, alone. Kate: Well, you got your wish last year, maybe you’ll get it again this year. NC (as Kate): It all depends on how lazy and rushed the writer is to get his paycheck. Oh, you’re in luck. Kate and Peter: WE DID IT AGAIN! AAAAH! NC: You hear that, wall we’re randomly screaming at? AAAUGH! Speed up the film, play William’s Not-Cracker music again, rinse, repeat, water down. This time, Kevin makes it,at least,as far as the airport with his family, but they get separated and Kevin gets on the wrong plane. Man: We have to close up here, they’re ready to go. Woman: He dropped his boarding pass. Kevin: This plane can’t leave! Man: Board him, but make sure he locates his family before you leave him. NC: Well, 9/11 hasn’t happened yet, so go ahead! Aunt Calamity: I have some theories on why 9/11 really happened. Doe: Really? Chester: Do tell. NC: Oh look, another possibly debatable funny scene! Yeah, watch this over and see if you snicker at something a little odd. Kevin: Have you ever been to Florida? Man: [Speaking French] NC: Now don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t seem that funny. Whatever, he looks at the camera because a guy in a different language won’t shut up. But realistically, it’s the most nonsensical awkward moment. We know he’s supposed to be looking at the audience, but in this situation, there is no audience. So imagine you’re talking to me and I suddenly just went… That’d be super weird! And why is this guy still talking? He knows Kevin doesn’t speak French. Does he think he made a friend? A friend who slowly shades you by looking at the airplane set with more space than any plane ever built? It’s actually kind of hilarious, just not at all for the intended reasons. Kate: Aah, I just have that feeling. Peter: We have everybody. There’s nothing to worry about. Kate: Yeah, you’re right. You’re right. We’re fine. (V/O): American Airlines: Losing Your Luggage AND Your Kids NC: So Kevin, of course, ends up in New York and checks to see where he is. Kevin: What city is that over there? Woman: That city is New York, sir. Kevin: Yikes, I did it again. NC: Anyone else feel like Culkin’s blank stare is trying to eat your soul? Macaulay Culkin: YOU TASTE LIKE INNOCENCE! NC: Let’s do this shtick again. Kevin (“bummed”): My family’s in Florida and I’m in New York. (…but not really) My family’s in Florida- NC: Oh, c’mon, in the original he had to really think about it, dealing with the fact that his family was gone but then thinking about all the mean things they said to him! Here, it just looks like he suddenly thought of his residual check! Kevin: My family’s in Florida and I’m in New York. [$Cha-ching$] My family’s in Florida- NC: Speaking of money, he uses all the cash in his dad’s bag he accidentally took to see New York. He even checks out sites that are… um… uncomfortable to say the least. Aunt Despair: You see, it was all a conspiracy by the Satanists, which is why you can see the face in the smoke. NC: Hey, look, the Goodfeathers! Yup, Kevin passes by a truck the escaped convicts snuck into and their sequel material is much to be a-scared of. Harry: Smell that? Marv: Yeah Harry: You know what that is? Marv: Fish. Harry: It’s freedom. Marv: No, it’s fish. NC: Sorry, Matthew Brodrick will master this routine six years later. There is no need in trying to top him. Harry: We get ourselves a couple of phony passports. And we hightail it to some foreign country Marv: Arizona? NC: Oh I do hope there’s more secretary from Ghostbusters reboot material with him! Speaking of coincidence, they ALL happen to be in New York at the exact same time, but Kevin JUST misses them passing them in the street. causing Marv to bump into someone. Marv: *speaking French* Harry: Serves you right! C’mon lets go! NC: Why did that anger him so much? This is a guy who breaks into God knows how many houses and almost commits child murder yet, speaking French to a woman was too far? Imagine how he’d react to this guy *speaking French* *gunshots* NC: Kevin makes his way to the famous Plaza Hotel but, not before coming across a disturbing character? Kevin: SICK! NC: Why? I mean, okay this is obviously a retrend of the old man gimmick from the first one but, he had a creepy backstory and could at times look very scary. This is a Susan Boyle and Mrs. Doubtfire hybrid, she doesn’t look the least bit frightening! I-Is it because she has birds? Is that it!? Birds aren’t scary; You’re literally feeding them in a later scene! If it were bats, it’d be scary. If it was insects,it’d be scary. If it was rats- anything but BIRDS! There’s lierally a Mary Poppins song about this scenario! It is famously charming and NOT THE LEAST BIT INTIMIDATING! WHO KNOWS!? Maybe it was meant to be a horror film! He finally makes it to the hotel where he comes across a… ahem… ‘Interesting’ cameo…

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