How To Believe In Your Business When You Don’t Always Believe In Yourself

Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching
MarieTV, the place to be to create a business and a life that you love. And this is Q&A Tuesday. That means Q’s and A’s and today’s question
comes from Malia and she writes: “Hi Marie, how do you deal with the daily
battles of fear and self doubt in business? How do you ultimately channel that energy
into selling yourself, your product, or your service even though you may not fully be confident
in yourself? Thanks so much, Malia.” Malia, great question. I especially love that you didn’t ask, “How
do I become constantly confident?” You asked something way better, which is how
to work through that lack of confidence and continue to move your business ahead? You know, one of the biggest myths out there
is that you have to be confident to be successful. That is so not true. Every creator who consistently takes risks
and shares their ideas and produces work feels fear and self doubt. I feel fear and self doubt on a daily basis. And a little reality check here, those daily
battles do not go away with time, experience, or even massive fame. You know, Grammy award winning artist Adele
has talked publicly about projectile vomiting on someone in Brussels. And then another time in Amsterdam she got
so scared she escaped out the fire exit. If you’re an artist or an entrepreneur,
fear and self doubt are gonna be your lifelong companions. So the question remains, how do you move ahead? Well, here’s one trick that has always worked
for me. I want you to think about your attention,
your mental and emotional and spiritual energy as a flashlight, and that flashlight can only
shine in one direction. So in any given moment, that flashlight is
shining in on you and how scared and insecure and fearful you are, or it’s shining out
on your customer or the work that you’re producing. When you shine that flashlight on you, all
of your focus goes to your thoughts, which probably sound something like this: “Oh, my God. I suck so bad. Everybody’s gonna hate it, I’m gonna look
like an idiot, I am not good enough yet. Who do I think I am? And this flashlight is really unflattering.” Now, when it’s shining out, all your attention
is on your customer, what your customer feels and needs and wants and, most importantly,
how you can help them. Now, here’s the cool part, when your flashlight
is 100% focused on them, you’ve got zero light on you and your fears and your self
doubt, which means they recede gently into the darkness. Obviously this isn’t a one time event. It’s a practice and something that you have
to come back to every day and often on a moment to moment basis. If you’re ever feeling so much fear and
self doubt that you too might projectile vomit, you’ve gotta ask yourself: in this moment,
where am I shining the light? Because it’s either on you or the customer,
you or the work, you or making a difference. Me. Them. Me. Them. Me. Them. Who just vomited? Keep it as simple as that. And if you want a little reminder to make
this a habit, use this tweetable. “Your attention’s like a flashlight. Shine it out on others and you lose sight
of your own fear.” That was my A to your Q, Malia, give this
a try and let us know how it goes. So now I would love to hear from you. When do fear and self doubt tend to pop up
for you? And what do you do specifically to keep believing
in your business or your work, especially during those times when you’re not believing
in yourself? As always, the best conversations happen after
the episode over at, so get on over there and leave a comment now. Did you like this video? If so, subscribe to our wonderful channel
and I would be so grateful if you shared this with your friends. And if you want even more great resources
to create a business and life that you love, plus some personal insights from me that I
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for email updates. Stay on your game and keep going for your
dreams because the world needs that special gift that only you have. Thank you so much for watching and I’ll
catch you next time on MarieTV.

77 thoughts on “How To Believe In Your Business When You Don’t Always Believe In Yourself

  • Fear and self doubt happens when I don't plan ahead for things or when I don't my have a clue what to except for a certain situation

  • I've been watching your videos for a long time, & the experience & wisdom you share for FREE astounds me. I consider your advice invaluable so thank you, Marie. You are simply awesome!

  • 1) When I have to hit the Publish button on my YouTube channel. It is still new so i still have major doubts. "Is it good enough? No, i still need to edit this and that"

    2) i click the Publish button anyway. I believe ive done my best and i leave to the viewers how they want to consume my content. Just do it, says Nike!

  • Dear Marie, that's a HUGE paradigm shift for me…I've always believed that we should focus on ourselves not others in all life situations. The late Steven Covey habit 1 about proactivity revolves about that concept. However, in the business context you referred to I guess it may work because we're focusing on other people's needs and how to add real value to their life. I will give it a shout and will let you know how it works. Keep up the healthy dose of inspiration that you give us every week. We love it…OMG! your flashlight is shining so bright on my face I can barely type… LOL

  • Thank you Marie. I just started my yoga teacher training and we have been learning about "intention" and what we want to accomplish in our practice. I would like to think of the flashlight as my "intention" for my business and carrying my light outward to my clients rather than focusing on what I have to accomplish next.

  • Thank you Marie for sharing your advice 🙂 Confidence and self-doubt are things I have struggled with from a young age, but I am slowly finding my voice and allowing myself to shine….outwards rather than inwards now!

  • My fear and self doubt always come out when I'm researching material for a project. I'm always thinking, "Will I collect enough? "Will people be able to relate?" "Is it exciting enough to keep the audience's attention?" It's a never ending battle. The only time I feel better is when I think about the finished product. It's always worth it in the end because it sometimes comes out better than what you expected.

  • i´m feeling confused in this stage of my life and i can tell that your videos always put me on the track again. Thank you Marie!

  • Grazie Marie for reminding me to use my flashlight on how to serve and empower my tribe instead of focusing on my own fear, self-doubt or worry. So grateful to have you as my biz mentor. #ProgressNotPerfection

  • I was so fearful and doubtful about a network marketing company I joined, that I didn't even last 30 days before quitting. Even thought my team was great and supportive, I keep telling myself that I didn't have connections, I was a crappy sales person. I'm not a health nut. I don't have a large youtube following. You get the point. But ironically even though I quit the company I still can't stop thinking about the opportunity I missed out on. It's sad that my fear was so overwhelming that I let it keep me from my goal. Any advice would be appreciated. Because sometimes the fear gets so bad, that I get super sick and throw up.

  • Great analogy. It's something I've been saying to my clients, but the flash light makes it super clear. Thanks Marie 🙂

  • I am considering doing private coaching and I am dealing with major self doubt. Luckily I am passionate about my industry, and I do believe in my ability to produce results. However I wonder how others will perceive me considering my resume may not be as lengthy as others in my field. It's easy to look around me and see others succeeding, in a way I suppose it motivates me to  stand behind my unique brand, and make my way somehow. Then again, some days I think, why bother, and true self doubt sets in. Like questioning my entire education, it's intense.

  • Omg. This is EXACTLY what I've been struggling with for the longest time. So so so helpful! Love your perspective! Thank you Marie!

  • No doubt Marie. It took me a few years to get use to the company.. Thanks for the advice. Thanks for the wake up call.

  • THIS one of my favorite episode so far!! This episode really resonated with me and how I feel as well. It boggles my mind when I keep hearing how famous people that look so comfortable in front of the camera, stage or people still have these feeling too. All I can say is that it is normal and like you said Marie you just have to work through it by shining the light away from yourself. Thanks again.

  • Very good idea. I often have doubts when I'm doing a writing project. This doubt can then take over from the work and stop productivity and creativity. I've recently found that carrying on working through it, eventually produces better results. This video has put it so much better- focus on the work and/or the customer/audience and not on your own doubts. It makes the focus clearer too.

  • Usually, when I start thinking about what people think, but then I remind myself that I don't need to care about that. Caring only about my own opinion of myself has freed me.

  • Incredible. Thank you for sharing that this never goes away. It's really easy to fall into the trap thinking it will at some point.

  • Thank you Marie and team for every video you make and post. I discovered you just a couple a weeks ago through Inside Quest. I like your shows because I feel you are like my friend giving me advise how to deal with myself and business. I watch your videos everyday to motivate and inspire me on my journey to success. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and experience.

  • I am 35 years old living in California, I am a romance/drama/suspense writer, an author in the making, these videos are very helpful to me

  • Hi Maries, I am glad to watch your video tips.  Is awesome!  I am not good in grammar and have broken English due to the fact I have flung my Cambridge O lvl.  I am a Singaporean and lately come into the wifi consultant in joining a company to promote the wifi to my local country.  It since like with dr to dr and put flyers and chat with people it did not work. Perhaps u can look at the site given me some clue how can I be outstanding from my other Telco competitors.  Free to visit  Plse I need your great advice on this.  Thank u once again awesome videos.  Mike

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