Hi Everybody I am Lisa A Romano the
breakthrough life coach thank you so much for taking part in this video today
I wanted to talk about something that I think is very important and it’s this
idea that we all have the ability to be both light and dark at the same time and
I always say this I’m not a religious person but I do consider myself to be
very spiritual I know that I have a metaphysical dimension to myself I know
that I am NOT all matter flesh and bone that there’s something more to me and I
appreciate that and I see that the animated aspects of me are really
nothing without the spiritual part of me and then I also need my central nervous
system my brain I need oxygen I need red blood cells to carry oxygen throughout
my organs to keep everything working so I see myself as a multi-dimensional
human being I understand that I have a personality and that my personality has
been shaped by many things yes biology but in my opinion very much
by my environment not my fault is what it is sort of like a cell on a petri
dish that go fabulous Bruce Lipton talks about when we consider epigenetics right
none of all it’s not your fault either not your fault if you were born to a
hostile environment that was not conducive to developing in a healthy way
it’s not your fault and so I wanted to talk about why it’s so why it so
important for us to accept that aspect of us that shadow self why it’s
important for us to consider the phrase or you know there but for the sake of
God go I why is that such a profound fate phrase and how can it help us on
our healing journey and what I’ve discovered is that when we are when we
are willing to say yeah I am both light as well as dark and yeah I can do I can
be very good but under chick Euler circumstances I can be very
bad or I can do things that I never thought that I would do you know think
about somebody who’s starving would you steal if you were starving would you
steal if your children were starving under the right situations the things
that you that don’t threaten you right now the things that you did not have or
with you felt threatened by not having like food for your children or what not
under the right circumstances you might actually do something that you wouldn’t
ordinarily do and I think that’s where the phrase there but for the sake of God
go I I think one of the important lessons in there is that that’s why it’s
so important to like drop value judgments like do what you can to catch
yourself if you’re judging other people if you have a critical eye you know and
you are judging people discerning is different than judging discerning sounds
like I’m aware that this person is adversarial and I’m aware that this
person is competent confrontational and I’m aware that this person is hyper
vigilant and is very sensitive and doesn’t trust people which means that I
can be considered a threat I can discern that judging is that person’s in a hole
that person’s arm or on that person to jerk off that person’s the B word you
know that’s that’s judging right so there’s a huge difference but those of
us who are really really trying to evolve and those of us who are really
really trying to transcend and move past the pain and suffering and darkness from
the past I think it’s really really important that we take a long hard look at our own shadow self are people that
we know we all know that have done terrible terrible things right I come
from men who have spent time and sing-sing prison I come from
men who have been in jail because of drug dealing and just just distributing
drugs drug dealing possession drug abuse alcoholism domestic violence that’s in
my family history I come from suicide right and it’s
important that when we hear things like this about other people in society our
first knee-jerk reaction might be how could they and I would never do that or
that guy is a mess or this person is disgusting but I think there’s a softer
way to approach this and the softer way is to just simply not judge because we
don’t know what we might do under the exact same conditions so under the exact
same conditions would we have taken the same course of action or might we have
right we don’t know but I do know that when we suspend judgment and when we
consider that I can’t judge other people but what I can do and I think this is
where a lot of us struggle especially codependents and impacts and people are
trying to be spiritually aware is we struggle with the boundary so if I’ve
identified that this person has come from difficult beginnings and I’ve
identified that this person can do some pretty terrible things where do I draw
the line with this person and I think that we have to be aware that people who
are below the veil who are acting out of their programming who can hurt us who
have hurt us I think it’s important that we recognize that we have to self
preserve so there’s nothing wrong with setting a boundary with somebody who has
been affected by their background who is also unaware as to how their background
has hurt them because sometimes people who have been abused you
some people who abuse and sometimes it’s very very bad think about somebody who
has high narcissistic traits think about a psychopath or a sociopath
they have been affected by the past some you know there’s there is a big debate
about it some people say that you know narcissists the sociopaths and
Psychopaths are born and that may be true in some cases but there is there
are a lot of people who believe that this type of domineering personality and
abusive personality or the result of childhood experiences feeling completely
abused very early on and and deciding very early on before the age of two I’m
not safe here you know this is messed up this this home that I live in is not
safe the people were supposed to love me or hurting me right not their fault but
many years later somebody with who is below the veil of consciousness can
develop and become an adult who does hurt people and in some cases does it on
purpose and actually gets a thrill out of it so it is wise for us to learn how
to develop boundaries and to feel good about being able to set boundaries with
people who are in the hologram who have not yet awakened from the past no I’m
asking people to consider is this idea that under the exact same circumstances
under the same biological influences things that we could not control under
you know this idea that if we were born to that person’s mom and that person’s
dad if our genealogy if our genes right if our DNA were exactly like this
person’s if we were a clone of this person would we behave much differently
under the exact same particular circumstances now why is that important
to consider that’s important to consider because that allows us
to embrace this idea that we’re not all good and that’s okay they think that so
many of us struggle and I think a narcissistic especially especially
struggles with I am not perfect because there’s so much shame associated with
not being perfect there’s tremendous shame there and it’s the type of shame
that in some cases people don’t come back from right so it’s helpful when we
learn to acknowledge that we can be good as well as bad and we can be light as
well as dark and when we think about the idea that under the exact same
particular circumstances we don’t know if we would have made the same choices
right it’s very important that we learn to suspend very strict ideas about good
and bad and black and white thinking when I know that I have done things that
I did when I was below the veil of consciousness I can forgive myself and I
can I can heal shame that comes with that
and the power in that is being able to join somebody who is also suffering with
that type of shame that’s why sponsorship works right so when you join
a a you get a sponsor sponsor who’s been there hopefully it’s a healthy sponsor
you know that matters but when we are able to say yeah I’ve messed up and I
live below the veil and I’m not perfect and I understand that my journey here is
about learning to forgive myself so that I can merge more with the light that I
am and then what we do is we take that and when we’re dealing with other people
we’re not judging other people because we know they are but for the sake of God
go I or there but for the sake of circumstances go I and this is the way I
think that we can help bridge the separation that society feels right in
so many in so many ways right black white up
Asian Hispanic female male you know you know it’s important that we address the
gay straight whatever bisexual it’s important that we address this idea of
non judgement and non criticism but I don’t think that we can get there until
we’ve been able to help the ego understand that transcending is not
equal to death really although that’s the way the ego feels the ego feels like
if I let go and I transcend I disappear and then who’s gonna protect this inner
child who’s gonna protect the wounds you know and so it’s important that on the
healing journey we do what we can to remain highly conscious or this idea
that we do have a higher self and we are connected to infinite intelligence and
we can access that right but we also have to understand that there’s we have
an ego and the ego is designed to self preserve and when there’s a lot of
trauma especially early on when there’s a lot of trauma and this little being
this little dear one has decided early on I can’t trust the world the world is
a terrible vicious place this child has to decide who it’s going to be and
opening up and becoming vulnerable is just too scary it’s it’s equal to death
and we are designed by nature to survive and people who have experienced
tremendous wounds early on their ego is all they have the ego is protecting
annihilation in other words like preventing
annihilation like I have to fight you I have to be hyper vigilant I have to
attack you after soon you’re going to attack me so that I don’t let this inner
child disappear and so those of us who are on this healing journey it’s
important for us to consider the value of being able to love every aspect of
ourselves especially the parts of ourselves that are difficult to love
more you are able to accept your as a flawed imperfect perfect human
being the less judge meant you offer other people like you get it right that
is the value that someone on the healing path offers not only themselves but the
world so when I forgive myself and I really embrace wow I’ve done some pretty
crappy things like really nasty things when I was unconscious when I was love
addict when I was a codependent when I was highly reactive the things that I’ve
said the things that I’ve done I’ve hurt people you know I’m not perfect and we
embrace that and we use that energy to help us heal and merge with this idea
that we’re all going to make mistakes and we’re supposed to that’s how we
ascend right so when we come into the realization that we’ve made a mistake
and we learn to love the self right we forgive it and we allow light to shine
on it then we can ascend we can leave we can leave this dank energy we can
actually let it process through our body that’s another thing human beings we
have to learn to stay in our bodies when we’re experiencing these sensations and
we have to try and not to compartmentalize every sensation our
body feels because that’s maddening and the mind wants to do that the mind wants
to make sense of everything but our healing exists in my opinion in a very
spiritual metaphysical realm and to access that we’ve got to be able to drop
the mind we can use the mind to help us navigate to places where we have to
understand more clearly what’s happening we have to understand I call them the
links that stink we have to understand consciously what we’re dealing with but
in terms of the healing that we experience right so much of healing
comes by way of the way that we feel something shifts right you can’t put
this something that shifts inside a petri dish as much as it would benefit
science you know and some some scientists
be able to do so so much of our healing comes but comes way through the
emotional field which is tied to the spiritual or metaphysical realm
that’s why emotions are so important that’s why my work hinges on helping
people be able to access their emotions so that they can connect to this magical
metaphysical realm even though it sounds hokey pokey it’s true so that they
connect they can connect to this space and they can heal themselves and they
can integrate it’s a beautiful thing but it’s so important for those for those of
us on the healing path and on the spiritual journey who are trying to heal
from codependency and who are trying to heal from narcissistic abuse to not get
stuck we cannot identify ourselves once you know that you’ve been victimized
right it’s very important that you know that you’re supposed to be shifting and
moving through that and it takes some time to get there right but it’s
important that we recognize that living our lives on the lookout for the next
attack is unhealthy because that puts us in a victim role and it’s just going to
keep us stuck so the one of the reasons that I think narcissism is so hard to
cure or to help is because narcissists don’t want to embrace the shadow self
and that’s why I think there’s so much more movement when it comes to being
able to help a codependent or somebody who has high empathy and keeps
attracting abusive people it’s it’s a lot easier still difficult but it’s a
lot easier to move someone to a place of integration and harmony personal
development and harmony who is able to say yeah I screwed up yeah I made
mistakes and I’m so sorry you know whereas a narcissist is not able to do
that and that and from from their position because they’re unable to
embrace the shadow self they create chaos they create care they’re living in
chaos but they’re managing it because they don’t know how to live any other
way but the problem is they’re creating chaos in the lives of
other people and you could have one really disordered person one really
narcissistic person take down an entire family system you know and just just
literally infect an entire family system scapegoat triangulate it’s like a mob
mentality at times you can have one narcissist in a company create complete
havoc inside a company right and I think that all goes back to a very deep
philosophical question can I face my dark side deeper can I embrace it deeper
can I accept it can I unfold it can I love it can I acknowledge it can I merge
with it and move forward and for those of us who are able to do that what we
discover is that we don’t feel so heavy anymore
we’re not quick to judge people at all we are aware when other people are being
judgmental of other people you want to make sure that you’re not you’re not
getting caught up in them versus me you want to make sure that you are aware
that you are you are literally that we’re all it with world facets of the
same diamond and there should be no competition between me and the other we
are mirrors of one another just just really born to different circumstances
different people different experiences but all in the same journey and I think
that embracing the shadow self and loving the shadow self and accepting the
shadow self is very very powerful and the benefit of that is we get to
transcend ego and if you can stay in alignment with this idea that you have a
higher self and that you are part of the whole just some of us are more
unconscious than others more conscious than others more willing than
but then again that also goes back to what has this person experienced if you
take I mean I was raised by a narcissistic father and when I look at
him and I listen to him I absolutely know that there is
tremendous shame in him but I also know that he can create a lot of damage in my
life and my simin like siblings life he created a lot of damage in my mom’s life
right so I know how to set a boundary with him even though I have compassion
for him but he’s not willing to look at himself he is not willing to embrace his
shadow self and say yeah I’m imperfect he just cannot do it and to move to a
plant try to move to a place where you know you can accept that in people that
doesn’t mean you like it but you know you have no control over it and you know
that that person that person’s unconsciousness if it has helped you
become more conscious it’s a gift right and we don’t awesome often think about
how when someone is really unconscious that that sparks us to become conscious
we never really think about the traffic jam right in the middle of the road that
forces us to take a detour and then we find another path that is a half an hour
closer to the home we never really think of the road signs that way
or the roadblocks or the difficult people in our lives in that light but
maybe we should and if you do nothing else today please consider dropping your
demise need because the need to judge people is I think it’s the way that we
protect the self so I need to do I need to decide whether you’re a friend or a
foe and I think that’s really really important we have to be able to know who
can hurt us and who can’t we’ve got to be able to know that so we can protect
ourselves they’re just there are predators on this planet it just is what
it is but if we can move to a place of spiritual knowing that I’m discerning
not judging I see huge difference so if I decide not to get on the elevator with
this person who my gut is get on the elevator I know that I can
discern I don’t I just don’t want to get on the elevator
it feels unsafe right I’m just gonna honor that but I’m not judging the
person inside the elevator this is just me discerning that this feels unsafe and
be honoring it so it’s it seems like there’s not a big difference but there
is so if you’re if you take nothing else away from this video try to think about
how the mind is designed the brain is designed to keep you safe and how
staying in the state of judgment is one of the ways that our ego is just trying
to keep us safe right that is like on steroids when it comes
to a narcissist or somebody with high narcissistic traits that’s on steroids
right our job is to learn how to discern friend from foe but not to judge this
helps us move out of victim mode so yes you could have been or I could have been
the narcissistic abuse survivor right or a victim of narcissistic abuse but I
want to make sure that I’m conscious that I’m moving away from that label and
out of that label so that I can experience abundance so that I’m not
like the little bird that’s picking out that picking at the bird seat who is so
afraid you know like drop her guard down it’s not a good vibration to live in so
I hope that this video has found you well I hope that you feel inspired I
hope that you understand the value in not judging yourself I hope you see the
value in unfolding your shadow self you don’t have to lie anymore you can just
be you don’t have to be codependent you don’t have to worry about what your
mother thinks what your father thinks what your siblings think you can let
them judge you and you’re not going to judge them because they’re judging you
you’re free the truth is that you’re enough and the truth is that all of us
are born unconscious and the truth is we all make mistakes right it’s just the
truth the truth is we all can do bad things especially under particular
situations so does it make sense to judge this person or that person judge
not I’m not talking about discerning but
does it make sense to be that person at the watercooler condemning that mom who
is doing what she’s doing does it make sense to do that when if
you were born to her parents and had her siblings and had her DNA and had her
childhood experiences and had her food allergies or whatever or had her
ex-husband or had her kids or had you know bully her bulimia her issues with
food you know if you were her would you be that much different so this to me is
like allows us to expand our consciousness and I think that it’s
going to be us up to us be the people to heal the people because there are so
many in terms of the media there are so many forces that in my opinion are doing
what they can to divide and conquer so and it’s I don’t think it’s on any more
on one side of the table than it is on the other side I think there’s plenty of
blame if you will to go around or accountability to go around and I think
that what we have to remember is that if people can or if powers can make us feel
afraid then they can control us with that fear and so what we shoot for as
human beings and as Souls incarnated into physical bodies is to eliminate
fear and to and one of the ways you can do that is to just love the fact that
you’ve made mistakes love the fact that you’ve been imperfect love the fact that
you can transcend ego love the fact that you can recover just love the fact that
you can embrace yourself I can tell you that when I finally said yes I am
imperfect yes I’ve made mistakes yes I’ve been afraid yes I haven’t been the
perfect mom and yes I wasn’t the perfect wife and I wasn’t the perfect friend
you’re absolutely right when I finally accepted that that’s when my ex-husband
wasn’t or my parents even my brother and my sister it was just like it was okay I
was telling my truth I am imperfect before my awakening I was so afraid that
I wasn’t perfect I was so afraid that you were gonna
judge me whether my ex-husband was gonna judge me or my mother was gonna judge me
I was so afraid it was all about fear but when I embraced my shadow self when
I embraced that I’ve screwed up I’ve made mistakes I’ve hurt my kids I have I
haven’t been as conscious as as I would have liked to have been I’ve made some
really unconscious choices out of reactivity out of ego a frightened ego
that’s just trying to protect the inner child I get it when I was able to
embrace that then it was like the power that people had over me was broken and
it really comes down to so many of our spiritual truths like walking by faith
and not by sight the truth sets you free being in the world and not of the world
you know just accepting that you’re enough and
that you are the light you know it’s just a beautiful way to live your life
so I’m hoping that this video makes it easier for you to think about the times
where you made choices that weren’t the best and that’s okay
think about the times that you’ve judged other people and that’s okay
think about how you can merge more fully with your shadow self and think about
the power that you can feel as as a spiritual being incarnated into this
physical body when you learn the power of forgiving the self and merging with
it the shadow and think about how blessed you will be when you no longer
participate in the vibrational energy that is judgmental of others I hope that
this video has inspired you please check out my links below if you would like to
know more about me please visit my website and again I’ll keep the link
below you are enough dear ones you are enough namaste Membership is now open–enroll today for one of my online programs or my Breakthrough Members-Only 🙂


  • I still haven't heard a good argument for not judging and I'm really desperately searching for a good reason to not judge. The funny thing is I'm an empath and I even judged this comment of mine from every conceivable perception. As a result I almost didn't post, but decided to rebel because of my dark side.

  • When I catch myself judging someone else, I stop and acknowledge what is inside me that is hurting and fearful. I put the focus back on myself and decide my course of action. This is a much happier and peaceful way to live.

  • Lisa, you have unequivocally changed my life for the better with your videos. Thank you so much for everything you educate us on. You're such an awe inspiring beautiful soul ❤

  • This video is amazing, Lisa!! I am inspired-Thank you!!! (I also Love the beautiful fish swimming so mesmerizing-ly behind you!) <3

  • Lisa, I feel ten pounds lighter. The relief you bring me in this video has filled me with such joy, I will never be the same again. Thank you, thank you, thank you xx

  • I understand this but why do they say absolutely narcissist don't change, a lot us keep trying to bridge some sort of communication but we're told stay away. And it's true, what do you do when someone seems really sorry but then as soon as you accept there apology, say like a few months there ok and then boom, your in that same cycle again.

  • I realized that I've been Gaslighted since birth. I have been Trauma bonded since birth, By my mother and her Sister!!
    Ive been in toxic relationships my whole life. I don't know if ill ever recover. Im 58 yrs old
    I need help!!

  • Incredible message L.R. I guess you know that it is incredible to watch you just pull out your experiences. You can see you searching your mind by your eyes and the flow of life saving information. Well put well presented. Your podcast are life savers.

  • I listened to this on the drive to work today. It brought me peace and helped me accept the parts of me that I typically feel embarrassed about and judge myself for having and think makes me inferior. I see now that is not necessary and certainly not helpful to me. Thanks so much Lisa. ❤️

  • Thanks Lisa 😀😀 embracing one’s shadow was the toughest thing I had to do but very liberating. Thanks for spreading such love and enlightenment in the world 🌍

  • I think our shadow self can also be the bad things we think about ourselves, like not being good enough or failing at having a successful life, or thinking everyone else is more important than we are.  If you give in to these feelings too, they can dissipate and not have so much control over us.  Better to feel bad for a while about what we are not (successful and happy) than have to hide it because we are afraid to show it to even ourselves. Then I think you feel liberated.  You don't need to feel perfect, just honest with yourself.

  • This is exactly what I needed. I woke up around 5 am the other day and all I wanted to do is “Shadow work”. I started last year and stopped.

  • I like the Michael Jackson song (have you seen my) Childhood…"Before you judge me, try hard to love me." What also assists with my tendencies to judge is the knowledge that we are all literally a part of God/source…we are all one.

  • Why don’t family members care enough to explain all this stuff? And instead just kind of push us aside like we don’t exist!

  • This is why I love you Lisa. Thank you for keeping it real. This video is so right on. Thank you for your guidance and wisdom. 🦋❤

  • I'm struggling a bit with this video. I think the fact that I know that I'm not perfect and didn't judge the ex, kept me in a toxic relationship for decades. I suppose I kept that judgement for myself.

  • Hey Lisa I really enjoy your videos, particularly these ones on the human shadow. It something I am very much interested in and have been working with for a few years now. I would love to see you do more videos on this with you going into more depth in whatever way calls to you. 🙂 thanks for all that you do <3 namaste <3

  • i think i have FINALLY gotten to this level of acceptance and forgiveness after soooo many years of trying to forgive and let go….my narc mom has been thru a lot and developed into being a one because of abuse and everything else including having a temperament that allows for that kind of pathology….so in a way its like it was meant to be because of all those factors. yes she has a choice but kids like that in those kind of environments dont get to develop empathy and its too late for them, they cant develop it anymore….those kind of people are totally unconscious and its like, its almost impossible for them to change….it is what it is….. i let her go to her fate

  • Dear Lisa: I loved all the fishes on the background! So beautiful!!!!! Yesterday, it was a day to reflect on your video, especially, because, at night, I went to the movie to watch Glass – Rotten Tomatoes. I super recommend the movie because it shows us exactly that…that we all have shadows and light. We just have to choose. Yes, I´m imperfect. I messed up but the first time I´m living with this mess. I still have difficulties but I´m facing playing my own matrix. Namastê

  • Home Run !!! Been dealing with a lot of mommy regret grief. Wishing I had experienced this breakthrough this awakening this healing before I raised my kids! It’s a yucky feeling to know that I have passed on some of the Multi dysfunctional programming to my kids

    This was is what I needed to hear!

    I have been journaling. Trying to make space to feel what I’m feeling. Let it go.

    I have started writing love notes to my kids. Sometimes I just infusing unconditional love into them. Other times apologizing for those chronic codependent moments where I allowed narcissist to send me into crazy making.

    Thank you so mush for sharing your wisdom!

    You inspire me! So much so I started my own channel. Main motivation is share what I’ve learned and validate myself!

  • I've thought like this for a long time. You articulate it beautifully! I find when people who come into our lives that are controlling or even sadistic it can be so much harder not to judge because your being punished by this person who enjoys it. A big time for testing in how much we really can choose discernment instead of judging and forgiving ourselves when we fail at that.

  • Thank you for sharing your knowledge, Lisa. This video came at the right time and kept me afloat in the continuation of my healing process.

  • Do you have any videos about not being able to speak? Not being able to allow myself to feel feelings, have opinions, or know what they are? Idk if its social anxiety or something else. I freeze and cant think or feel sometimes. It's like blank/numb/. I also have not been able to form meaningful relationships my whole life. Cant remember hardly anything either. Even from my adult life

  • Lisa, I just have to tell you that I started listening to you over 2 years ago. When I look back at that time I was so lost and came to you at the perfect time. I am happy to report I am so much further along on my healing journey and when something happens and I need a realignment I now know I can come to your videos and it takes me back to my true self. You are doing such important work Lisa. God bless!

  • Thank you Lisa. Your insight has blessed me with a sense of freedom, acceptance and peace as I learn to let go of archaic ideals and embrace my Truth. You're helping to erase fear and dispell the Lie. I pray that Higher Power blesses you abundantly as you are bringing Light to our darkest of places. Love to you and Namaste darlin'.

  • Narcissism. A super intelligent mind control used against you to cause you pain. A program. Right in front of you. On people around you. They live in China's ghost city's. We can't see them but dogs can! Get one and keep it near you, always! Maybe two. Will this keep narcs away from us??????? Are these attacks from mind control on others????

  • I grew up in a children's home here in Northern Ireland and have recently been to the Historical Institutional Abuse inquiry, I'm 51 yrs young, and I have to say that I really appreciate your help and support in understanding the process of self love, and acknowledging my dark side, and there is a dark side who loves to raise it's ugly head, ive had to recently apologise to my 19yrs old son for mistakes and hurts I've caused him. Thankfully he has forgiven me. Lisa I just want to say that your vlogs are giving me hope that I can be a good person, I enjoy the messages you give me, I hope you know how special you are, you survived abuse and clearly want us to not get caught in the self hate that seems to be very common especially among women, men too but that's another story! Thank you so much for your wonderful wisdom.

  • Right out of the gate! I can not believe there was a time when people were shamed or mislabeled for believing in the metaphysical aspect of self.

  • Lisa…I can't thank you enough for this video. I can barely find the words. I'm still healing from the whirlwinds I've chosen to leave but unfortunately there has been side effects in my personality, some that I have not been proud of. This video has really helped me recognize my next step in healing myself. You are a blessing to us. So much love to you

  • When the pupil is ready the teacher appears❤thank you Lisa❤ I am so glad that the universe led me to you ❤I am eternally grateful❤❤❤thank you thank you thank you ❤

  • lisa I always compare my life to others thinking why do they have a good life and I dont. or saying they have a love able mom and why I dont.

  • Lisa, thank you. You are wonderful, and make your message so clear. What a blessing you are to me and so many. THANK YOU💗

  • I heard that psychopaths are usually born (*meaning they have a noticeably different frontal lobe… however sociopaths are made… (*molded from shitty experiences and severe trauma)

  • Hi. I like your videos… My mum has just been diagnosed with npd. In a way Im relieved as I dont feel its all my fault now. However, I would like to know how to communicate with her, any tips? Is it normal that they are so critical?

  • Thank you Mrs Romano, im less ignorant about myself now and know better what shadow work is. I valued that you put that knowledge so simple and good explained. Thank you so much🙏
    You are a humble person and i appreciate that very much

  • Your right about that yoyr episode sounds accurate and rational … Thanls alot i wish you all the best in life ….

  • To be transparent with you lisa. Yoyr episode sounds accurate and rational i wish you all the vest in life …… Thanks alot for everything you fo and helping sooo many folks jn this universe …. Much love … May the lord continue to bless You for the rest of your life …..

  • guilt rapes me

    I find it impossible to forgive

    so many layers of pain, millions of layers of hate

    my whole life is pain and struggle and so much rage and terror and guilt

    how can I make myself belong?

    how can I make myself fit in?

    want and ache and wish and long for freedom

    this life is hard and difficult and painful

    (I'm praying that by listening to this video/upload it will help me!)

  • Wonderful wisdom, thank you Lisa. This is exactly what I needed to hear. I’ve been on the path the past few years aiming to shift my habitual thought patterns into exactly what you said “non judgmental, but still discerning safety vs danger.” I’ve been getting worn out & kind of losing hope, like thinking I was becoming too soft, because when I shared this idea to family & friends, I got told to “get back to reality, judging is an essential part of human nature for survival…” It’s really reassuring that someone I look up to is advocating to aim on being present by observing our judging thought patterns, and reducing them by embracing our own shadow self.

  • I enjoy your channel and I get a lot out of your videos, but was very disappointed with your statement about narcissistic people not being able to accept their flaws and shadow self. Without any kind of disclaimer or clarification that ANYONE can heal. It's harder for people who have traits of NPD, but it's possible. I know cuz I am one of those people. I'm always searching for healing process guidance and the one thing that is really needed is more help for the narcissist and less of the stagnant ideas of narcissistic people being unsalvageable, evil and not capable of change….

  • great quote: “The more you are able to accept yourself as a flawed, imperfect, perfect human being, the less judgment you offer other people. That is the value that someone on the healing path offers not only themselves, but the world.”- Lisa Romano

  • Hello Lisa, This is what I have discovered and would like to share with you. I have decided I can no longer live with 2 masters, one must go. I consider one to be the master of fear and the other the master of reality, life, my higher self. The master of fear began as a child when I tried to identify with everything/everyone (a toy, a parent for example) and as change occurred (having to share MY toy, having a new care giver- a teacher, daycare, etc) I freaked out and, of course, was labeled as difficult. The ego then created this false-self, a concept, aka the control freak, aka the body guard, which I also call the mask of fear, for protection sake. To control or protect me from these freak outs this mask of fear created lists. On one list are the things I expect to happen (respect, kindness, etc). These rules are my preferences, all the things I expect to be carried out perfectly, and on the other list are the things that better never ever happen (get fired, a death, etc). If anyone or anything crosses these lists I freak out and experience some form of anxiety. I take everything personally, as though everyone's out to get me. When I look at someone or something when I have on the mask of fear my world is filled with chaos, suffering and confusion. I cannot hear, or think straight nor can I decide the best course of action. However when I take off this mask and look at something or someone realistically just the facts and honestly (even when it sucks) I am able to relax, and know which direction to go, I become clear and it is no longer all about me. Since I started practicing this I noticed I am becoming interested and curious on how I am going to handle something. Having faith and knowing I will handle it to the best of my abilities helps. I love the master of my higher-self. It is a much better way to live and the one I'll stick with. All my best! XO

  • I completely identify with the info you have shared.. sometimes when I journel I can get a voice for it. Also watch your throat chakra video…this is priceless to me on my path of freedom♥️..

  • I think the comparison of would you steal if you or your children were starving isnt the best example to give because it still allows you to be a good person im a bad circumstance…and leaves room for others to condemn the thief who steals for unjust gain at anothers expense without caring how it might affect them…we have to point out that people are the way they are often due to early or ongoing abuse and neglect and let them know that if they were under those same circumstances they would have those same outcomes…. It is also important to point out that those people would also have had different outcomes if they had your experiences instead of their own…there are exceptions of course…but they are rare…and usually due to something we dont know well enough to factor in

  • Lisa you help me so much amazing women that you are, it’s no coincidence that I found you 💕💕

  • For anyone using the ego to protect their wounds (aka inner child) read the book "Taming the Outer Child" and to make peace with and lay your inner child to rest. No more trauma drama and self-sabotage caused by your outer child (ego) trying to protect there inner and your adult self can take the wheel.

  • I never been the one to judge I always treated people the way I wanted to be treated, but I never got that in return…I always got played and used by people I guess because I was looking for acceptance because I thought I wasn't good enough…so people took my kindness for weakness. I would be so hurt from people especially from the men that were in my life they would treat me so mean and I couldn't understand why… and as I write this I have tears in my eyes because I never knew that it was something inside of me that needed to be changed

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