Michael Jackson. drugs. Palin. // Auto-Tune the News #6

Gentlewoman from Minnesota
is recognized for 1 minute. Hey-ohhh! Congress! Climate change bill!
Let’s get our debate on–1,2,3! It is time to stand up and say:
We get to choose! We get to choose! It’s one of the two:
Liberty or tyranny. Can we please choose
something in between? Mediocrity? – Chastity?
– Puppetry? – Obesity?
– Marijuanity? Pretty please?! The underlying bill represents the
tyranny of the government. (oh la la la) It’s our choice, what will we
choose today? (oh la la la) Will we choose liberty,
or will we choose tyranny? It all depends,
who gets to be the tyrant? I thought this bill
was about the climate. Just remember these 4 words,
for what this legislation means: Jobs, jobs, jobs, and jobs.
Let’s vote for jobs. – And jobs.
– And jobs. Don’t forget about jobs. – Those in favor say “aye”.
– AAAAYYE! – Those opposed, “no”.
– Hell no! Hell no! Hell noooooooo!! The fight that we have
between the two sides of the aisle boils down to one word: – Freedom.
– Freedom! Freedom that will allow the
American people to live their lives. Hell no! (hell no!) Hell no! (hell no!)
Hell nooooooooooo! (hell no!) Let’s allow America to flourish
to allow jobs to flourish, and allow freedom to flourish!
Hell noooooooo! I’m not wired to operate under
the same old politics as usual. With this announcement
that I’m not seeking re-election, I’ve determined that it’s best to transfer the authority of governor
to Lieutenant Governor Parnell. Hey, could she be pregnant? Pregnant with ideas bout
how to run for president! Interesting and perhaps successful
strategy to win her the presidency. – To win you gotta quit!
– To quit you gotta win! The chips are on the table. She’s really all in.
But it’s high risk. The people who like her,
are still gonna like her. The people who have doubts about her,
are just gonna have the same doubts. – No doubt.
– Same doubt. – SHAWTAYEE!
– Same doubt! What do you do if you have Tylenol and
other medications with acetaminophen? I take a fistful of pills
and get busy mixin em in my gin. What about Vicodin and Percocet?
Will they be banned ultimately? Not if I can help it! You know it’s unconstitutional to
take away my God-given pharmaceuticals. I have warned that one day
Michael Jackson would wake up dead. Wake up, wake up dead. – Meredith, I had warned everyone…
– He told you so. One day we’re going
to have this experience. I feared this day.
And here we are. Keith, people often die
for very strange reasons. They wake up dead.
Wake up, wake up dead. – Wakin up…
– Wakin up… Wakin up is a strange reason…
to diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie. …….whoo! Auto-Tune the News (auto-tune the news)
Auto-Tune the News (auto-tune the news) Sarah Palin sounds better auto-tuned! Auto-Tune the News (auto-tune) (Shawty!)
Auto-Tune the News (auto-tune) (Shawty!) Everything sounds better auto-tuned!

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