Peace After Narcissistic Abuse



hi guys thank you for joining the Royal we my name is Kevin and I want to talk to you about peace I want to share a little bit about what I believe peace is in your life we're gonna talk about how you lose your peace when you're involved with abusive narcissists then we're gonna talk about how you can regain your peace back after narcissistic abuse and once you begin to gain your peace back we're gonna talk about how to protect your peace so don't go anywhere because we have a lot to talk about right here on the Royal we [Applause] it's exactly why I came to this spot right here right now to experience the peace of being here the quietness of this place the beauty in the calmness of this place ultimately guys peace is a freedom from disturbance and I want you to remember that lock this in your mind because we're gonna come back to this idea in just a minute now the ancient Hebrew people and many Hebrew people today have a different term that they use for peace it's Shalom now Shalom has a deeper meaning and a deeper understanding than just the peace that you and I understand the calmness and quietness and stillness Shalom means wholeness it means completeness it means nothing missing in your life nothing broken in your life it's flourishing its well-being it's living a life of justice and just being well and they believe strongly in this term Shalom and they would bless each other with Shalom Shalom when you're leaving Shalom when you're coming meeting be at peace when you go be a peace when you come despite whatever's going on in the world around you Shalom peace now here's the problem guys we face with our understanding of peace and even Shalom the problem we face is that if we start to believe that peace is dependent on something outside of ourselves in other words if everything around us is at peace then we can be at peace I can be at peace as long as they're at peace then we miss the whole concept of Shalom we missed the whole concept of being at peace and we grow a dependency this goes back to that opening line that I asked you to remember peace is a freedom from disturbance it doesn't mean that disturbance is not going to exist and so now the problem when we get involved with abusive narcissist is that we take on that mentality I can be at peace in this relationship if they can be at peace in the relationship and so what starts to happen as you start to fight for peace you can't fight for peace guys you might as well step out in the middle of a storm or tornado and fight it in order to have peace in that environment in situation where the wind is blowing and things are getting torn about and throwing about and you can sit there and fight and say you're not being peaceful here I'm being peaceful what's gonna happen the storm is gonna win every time and you were gonna lose your peace furthermore it's a contradiction the moment you start fighting a situation to find peace the moment you start fighting you start losing your peace and you're giving it up because peace and fighting of any kind do not exist together guys you can fight for your rights you can fight for your freedom but you cannot fight for peace it's a contradiction it's an oxymoron it's whatever you want to call it and as a result of trying to fight for peace which is what you do in an abusive relationship you start fighting for peace I'm a peaceful person you need to be a peaceful person you start to develop cognitive dissonance you want to know what cognitive dissonance is cognitive dissonance is when you start to believe that you're doing something that should be right in other words you're fighting for peace you're fighting for a good thing however the results of the fight the results of the reality is that you are in turmoil and you're suffering the reason is is because you're living in cognitive dissonance you're fighting but in your mind it's for peace and so you want to keep doing that you can't fight for peace guys you cannot fight for peace and this is why you lose your peace in abusive relationships with narcissists this is why you lose every time is because abusive narcissist put you in that position where you have to fight they put you on the defense all the time because they have no peace they have no in their life they don't have it it's empty it doesn't exist and since they don't have it they don't know how to live that life all they know is how to fight all they know is how to ridicule and criticize this is how they developed their way of identifying and living in this world which is totally contradictory to your life of peace and Shalom that you want and then you want to live and so they put you in that position to be defensive in to fight and so you lose it you fall into that trap you you give up your peace and in exchange you start to fight even though you think you're fighting for peace you're fighting and you're no longer at peace your peace has left you it's gone the moment you start to fight alright guys so the question remains now how do you get peace back in your life after narcissistic abuse how do you regain Shalom well it's like this guy says knowledge no no it's actually more than knowledge it's deeper than knowledge it's through wisdom now guys I've made a video on wisdom and I'll put the link right here so you can check it out after this video wisdom is a combination of three important things it's a combination of your knowledge your experiences and your understanding of all of that again wisdom is a combination of your knowledge your experiences and your understanding now guys the first step towards wisdom is to get out of the abusive relationship with the narcissus the first step towards wisdom is understanding this simple truth that narcissistic abuse is being involved with the person you have no business being involved with doing things you have no business doing and going places you have no business going that's the first step towards wisdom and then from there guys you want to partner with wisdom you want to allow wisdom to now guide you and wisdom is what is going to lead you back to peace guys I want to read this proverb to you and it's gonna help explain this even further proverbs 3:13 says this blessed are those who find wisdom those who gain understanding for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold she is more precious than rubies nothing you desire can compare with her long life is in her right hand in her left hand are riches and honor her ways are pleasant ways and all her paths are peace guys in time you will regain peace back into your life through wisdom you will regain Shalom and your life will become more complete you'll feel wholeness calmness quietness and stillness as a result of that guy's not because Shalom or peace has eradicated disturbances but because it has freed you the wisdom has led you on a path that has freed you from the disturbances in life so no matter what's taking place no matter what people are yelling and screaming out on the streets and out in the yards and whatever the narcissists are doing how they're ruining their lives it's not going to affect your Shalom and your peace because you're gonna be complete you're gonna be whole so how do you protect this how do you protect this well guys I want to turn to another scripture in the Bible in the book of Matthew there's an instruction that's given to us and it says this once you have Shalom in your life once you have peace in your life it instructs you saying go into a home bring your peace bring your Shalom because it's yours and if that house if they receive you if they receive your peace if they receive your Shalom then that house is worthy it's worthy of you being there it's worthy of your peace and your Shalom to rest on that house but then the Bible says this if that household does not receive you if they do not receive your peace and your Shalom if they start fighting with you if they start demeaning you and devaluing you it says to do this it says to get up to bring your Shalom back into you bring your peace back into you don't try any harder don't fight any harder just bring it back to you and then it says to leave leave that house not only that leave that town not only that leave that state and shake the dust off of your feet don't take any of that home with you don't take any of that disturbed storm with you leave it behind you shake the dust off your feet this is how you live a life protecting your peace and your Shalom guys it all comes down to this through wisdom use your discernment and knowing where you're letting your peace out from your life where you're letting your Shalom out from your life use your discernment when it's not received well get the heck out you have no business being there guys I hope you liked this video and I want to encourage you to subscribe to the channel and hit like if you like this video also want to let you know that I am here on a nightly basis for you guys Monday through Friday 10 o'clock p.m. Central Standard Time I am live right here on the Royal weed taking your phone calls and I enjoy every minute of being a part of your healing and your recovery from a narcissistic abuse so guys hit that subscribe button hit that like button and if you want to be notified of when I go live go ahead and hit the bell and that way you won't miss the live Royal we experienced hit that Bell and it will notify you at the moment I'm live take that step make that phone call into the show guys and we will talk and we will heal thank you so much for being a part of this alright guys bye

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