Please Welcome: The USA Freedom Grown-Ups


GUYS, LET ME ASK YOU, YOU LIKE
MUSIC?>>YEAH.>>Stephen: THOUGHT YOU WOULD. YOU WILL LOVE THIS NEXT STORY. DONALD TRUMP HAS BASED HIS
CAMPAIGN ON HIS SUCCESS AS A BUSINESSMAN, BUT HE’S BEEN
ACCUSED BY MANY OF HIS VENDORS AND CONTRACTORS OF NOT PAYING
THEM FOR THEIR SERVICES. WELL, THE LATEST GROUP THAT
MIGHT SUE DONALD TRUMP FOR NON-PAYMENT IS THE “USA FREEDOM
KIDS,” A PATRIOTIC GIRL BAND WITH A NAME THAT SOUNDS LIKE IT
CAME FROM A FIRST GENERATION IMMIGRANT, “USA FREEDOM NUMBER
ONE, YES, CHILDREN, KIDS OKAY!” “USA FREEDOM KIDS.” YOU MAY REMEMBER “THE USA
FREEDOM KIDS” PERFORMED AT A TRUMP RALLY EARLIER THIS YEAR
AND THEIR MUSIC SOUNDED LIKE A BALD EAGLE MARCHING ON A CASIO
KEYBOARD. ♪ ENEMIES, OF FREEDOM, FACE THE
MUSIC. ♪ COME ON, BOYS! ♪ TAKE ‘EM DOWN! ♪ PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP KNOWS
THAT, TO MAKE AMERICA GREAT, DEAL FROM STRENGTH OR GET
CRUSHED EVERY TIME! ♪>>STEPHEN: YEAH. DEAL FROM STRENGTH OR GET
CRUSHED EVERY TIME. YOU KNOW, KIDS! BUT THESE YOUNG LADIES HAVE
EVERYTHING IT TAKES TO BE A POWER-POP GROUP, EXCEPT A
SONGWRITER WHO KNOWS WHERE EM-PHA-SIS GOES-ON-WORDS. WELL, IT TURNS OUT THESE
CHILDREN DIDN’T DEAL FROM STRENGTH AND GOT CRUSHED THIS
TIME BECAUSE, UNFORTUNATELY, FOR THE USA FREEDOM KIDS, DONALD
TRUMP TOOK THE FREE PART LITERALLY. FOR THE BAND’S FIRST PERFORMANCE
AT A TRUMP RALLY THE MANAGER ASKED FOR $2,500 IN PAYMENT. THE CAMPAIGN MADE A
COUNTER-OFFER: HOW ABOUT A TABLE WHERE THE GROUP COULD PRE-SELL
ALBUMS? THE MANAGER TOOK THE DEAL. WHEN THEY ARRIVED AT THE VENUE,
THOUGH, THERE WAS NO TABLE. CLASSIC TRUMP NEGOTIATION
TACTIC. “OKAY, I’M GONNA WRITE A NUMBER
ON A PIECE OF PAPER AND SLIDE IT ACROSS THE– SORRY, NO TABLE.” WELL, FOLKS, TRUMP THINKS HE CAN
GET AWAY WITH THIS, BUT I’M GOING TO HOLD HIM ACCOUNTABLE
AND GET HIS ATTENTION WITH A FLASHY SONG AND DANCE NUMBER. AND BECAUSE I DON’T THINK KIDS
SHOULD BE INVOLVED IN THE DIRTY WORLD OF POLITICS, HERE WITH A
BRAND NEW SONG FOR DONALD TRUMP, PLEASE WELCOME: THE USA FREEDOM
GROWNUPS! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
♪ ♪
♪ ♪ DONALD TRUMP
♪ ARE YOU SERIOUS?! ♪ RIPPING OFF SOME LITTLE GIRLS
♪ THAT’S SCANDALOUS! ♪ ♪ ♪
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>>STEPHEN: THE USA FREEDOM
GROWNUPS, EVERYBODY! WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH JAMIE
DORNAN.

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