Polly Hudson: My pact for hubby is strife after death



  cannot live without each other. They refuse to even contemplate the idea.  And so, they’ve decided that they’re likely to shuffle off this mortal coil together – what they’re calling a Life Pact  Maybe these will catch on as the anniversary gift for the couple who has everything Maybe not.  Promising to go together is perhaps a little extreme for us normal people, but hearing about their plans does make you think about making some arrangements of your own.  For example, if my husband is suddenly in charge of everything – by default – what rules do I want him to follow?  So not so much a Life Pact as an Afterlife Pact.  It’s always incredibly moving when you hear about a person who knows they are not long for this world making their partner promise they’ll try to find happiness again  Being selfless enough to genuinely want them to look for someone one after you’re gone is probably the most noble, generous, beautiful thing anyone could do, the purest expression of unconditional love imaginable     Unfortunately for my husband, I am not that big a person. Not even close. I would be gutted if he’s happy after I die Actually, forget gutted – offended. Him being happy again would be SO rude – a kick in the teeth to me and all I stood for How dare he!  I wish I was a better woman, but let’s be realistic here, I’m not  If I die before my husband, I want him to be sad for the rest of his days. He doesn’t have to be actively crying all the time, but he should at the very least have the decency to constantly appear on the brink  I want him to mourn indefinitely, be devastated, and look at a pre-approved selection of photos of me wistfully every night, remembering the good times (comparatively)  The most important thing, of course, is that he never marries again.  He has terrible taste in women (Exhibit A: Hi ) and this time round he wouldn’t just be looking for a partner for himself, but for someone to be involved in our kid’s life too  Again, NO.  My son can get his mothering needs met from a pre-approved selection of my friends/watching Mummy Pig, thank you, and not some desperate lap-dancer past her prime  Talking of my son. gulp. Clearly some of the things I was adamant about would become flexible in the event of my not being around to enforce them  I suppose the no tattoos rule could be bent as long as it was an image from the aforementioned pre-approved photos  He might as well be allowed to move out of home one day if I’m not going to be there anyway  But most of all, I would want my husband to keep my memory alive, to be honest and true about who I really was, so my boy has a proper sense of me, and still feels close to his mum  Well, ish.  I mean, don’t mention any of the bad stuff, obviously. Let’s not bore him with too much information, he’s got other things to be getting on with    Have a heart. The boy’s grieving, for goodness sake. 

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