Puritan Jeremiah Burroughs – The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment (Christian audio book



Act one of the inconstant by George Farquhar this is a librivox recording all librivox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit librivox.org the inconstant a comedy in five acts by george Farquhar Esquire dramatis personae old Mirabelle read by Todd young Mirabelle read by Thomas Peter captained irritate read by Craig Franklin do gar read by Nemo Patti read by Eva Davis first Bravo raised by our Mapstone second Bravo read by the radish Bravo three recorded by Chuck Williamson Bravo four read by sunup EXR Oriana read by Lee Anya Bazaar read by samya L'Amour's read by Rapunzel inna page read by Sandra Lady read by a by E stage directions read by Kalinda act the first scene 1 the street enter Dugard and his man petit in riding habits sera what's a clock turn double oven sir no more we have rid a swinging pace from Namur since 2:00 this morning p'tee run to Russo's and bespeak a dinner at a lui door ahead to be ready by 1:00 how many will there be of you sir let me see Maribel 1 do a tete to myself 3 and I 4 how now sir at your old traveling familiarity when abroad you had some freedom want to better company but among my friends at Paris pray remember your distance be gone sir exit petit this fellow's wit was necessary abroad but he's too cunning for a domestic I must dispose of him some way else who's here old Mirabelle and my sister my dearest sister enter old Mirabelle and oreonna what brother welcome yes your Maribel I'm heartily glad to see you mr. de garde by the blood of the Mirabelle's I'm your most humble servant why sir you've cast your skin sure your brisk engei lusty health about you no sign of age but your silver hairs silver hairs then they are quick silver hairs sir whilst I have golden pockets but my hairs be silver and they will ODS bud sir I can dance and sing and drink and no I can't winch but mister to guard no news of my son Bob in all your travels your son's come home sir come home Bob come home by the blood of the Maribel's mr. du gard what say you mr. Miravalle retard sir he certainly come and you may see him within this hour to swear it mr. de garde presently swear it sir he came to town with me this morning I left him at the banya being a little disordered after writing and I shall see him again presently what and he was ashamed to ask a blessing with his boots on a nice dog well and I'll fares the young rogue huh a fine gentleman sir he'll be his own messenger a fine gentleman but as a rogue like me still why yes sir he's very like his mother and is like you as most modern sons are to their fathers why sir don't you think that I begat him why yes sir you married his mother and he inherits your state he's very like you upon my word and pray brother what's become of his honest companion Durrett at who the captain the very same he went abroad he's the only Frenchman I ever knew that could not change your son mr. Maribel is more obliged to nature for that fellow's composition then for his own for he's more happy into a tats folly than his own wit in short they are as inseparable as finger and thumb but the first instance in the world I believe of opposition in friendship very well will he be home to dinner think ye sir he has ordered me to bespeak a dinner for us at Russo's at a lui door ahead lui door ahead well said Bob by the blood of a Mirabelle's Bob's improved but mr. de garde was it so civil of Bob to visit monterosso before his own natural father Hey hark ye Orianna what think you now of a fellow that can eat and drink ye a whole Louis door at his sitting he must be as strong as Hercules life and spirit and abundance before GAD I don't wonder these men of quality that their own wise can't serve them do we door ahead tis enough to stock the whole nation with bastards tis faith mr. du gard I leave you with your sister exit well sister I need not ask you how you do your looks resolve me fair tall well shaped you're almost grown out of my remembrance why truly brother I look pretty well thank nature and my toilet I eat three meals a day I'm very merry went up and sleep soundly wound down but sister you remember that upon my going abroad you would choose this old gentleman for your guardian he's no more related to our family then Prester John and I have no reason to think you mistrusted my management of your fortune therefore pray be so kind as to tell me without reservation the true cause of making such a choice looky brother you were going a rambling it was proper lest I should go a rambling to that somebody should take care of me all de Mesilla Mirabelle as an honest gentleman was our fathers front and has a young lady in his house he's something I like and he was chosen him for her guardian as well as I hmm Matt was el these are the same we live merrily together without scandal over perch we make much of the old gentleman between us and he takes care of us all the week we Donaldson sing and upon some days go first church and then to the play now brother besides these motives for choosing this gentleman for my guardian perhaps I had some private reasons not so private as you imagine sister your love too young meta bells no secret I can assure you but so public that all your friends are ashamed aren't my words and my friends are very bashful there I'm afraid sir that those people are not ashamed enough for their own crimes who have so many blushes to spare for the forts of their neighbors Hey but sister the people say sure hang the people they'll talk treason and profane their maker must we therefore infer that our king is a tyrant and religion a cheat looky brother they're caught up in quarry is a tavern and their Informer current they think as they drink and smell the reputations like a lush a lady's health goes briskly around the glass but her honor is lost in the tourists Hey but sister there is still something if there be something brother says none of the people something marriage is my thing and all six here's marriage young Maribel marry he'll build churches sooner take heed sister though your honor stood proof to his homebred assaults you must keep a stricter guard for the future he has now got the foreign air in the Italian softness his wits improved by converse his behavior finished by observation and his assurance is confirmed by success sister I can assure you he has made his conquest and tis a plague upon your sex to be the soonest deceived by those very men that you know have been false to others but then sister he's as fickle the God's sake brother tell me no more of his faults for if he do I shall run mad for him say no more sir let me but get him into the banns of matrimony spoil his wandering I warrant him I'll do his business that way never fear well sister I won't pretend to understand the engagements between you and your lover I expect when you have need of my counsel or assistance you will let me know more of your affairs Maribel is a gentleman and as far as my honor and interest can reach you may command me to the furtherance of your happiness in the meantime sister I have a great mind to make you a present of another humble servant a fellow that I took up at Lyon who has served me honestly ever since then why will you politic him he has gained so insufferably on my good humor that he's grown too familiar but the fellows cunning and maybe serviceable to you in your affair with Mirabelle here he comes enter petite well sir have you been at Russo's yes sir and who should I find there but mr. Maribel and the captain hatching has warmly over a tub of ice as to hem pheasants over a brood they would not let me bespeak anything for they had dined before I came come sir you shall serve my sister I shall still continue kind to you and if your lady recommends your diligence upon trial I'll use my interest to advance you wait on your lady home p'tee exits a chair a chair a chair no no oh woe k-tiz by next door exeunt scene – a tavern young Mirabelle and dirt at discovered rising from table had come to hell he once more My dear captain we have ate heartily drank around Lee paid plentifully and let's go for once I liked everything but our women they looked so lean and tawdry poor creatures to the shore sign army is not paid give me the plum Venetian brisk and sanguine that smiles upon me like a glowing Sun and meets my lips like sparkling mine her person shining as a glass in spirit like the foaming liquor ah Mirabelle Italy I grant you but for our women here in France they are such thin brawn fallen Jade's a man may as well make a bed fellow of a cane chair from a light and seasoned country nothing but fellows foppery in fashions there's nothing on this side Alps with my humble service gee ha drama la santé italy for my money their customs gardens buildings paintings music policies wine and women the paradise of the world not pestered with a parcel of precise old Doughty fellows that would debar their children every pleasure that they themselves have passed the sense of commend me to the Italian familiarity here son there's 50 crowns go pay your girl her week's allowance I these are your father's for you that understand the necessities of young men not like our musty dares who because they cannot fish themselves would muddy the water and spoil the sport to them that can but now you talk of the pump what do you think of a Dutch woman Oh what Dutch woman's to compact nay everything among them is so a Dutch man is thick a Dutch woman his squab a Dutch horse is round a Dutch dog is short a Dutch ship is broad bottom and in short one would swear that the whole product of the country were cast in the same mould with their cheese's hi but Mirabelle you have forgotten the English ladies the women of England were excellent did they not take such inseparable things to ruin what nature has made so incomparable well they would be delicate creatures indeed could they but thoroughly arrive at the French mean or entirely let it alone for they only spoil a very good air of their own by an awkward imitation of ours but come detect let his mind the business and hand mistresses we must have and must take up with the manufacture of the place and upon a competent diligence we shall find those in Paris shall match the Italians from top to toe I Mirabel you will do well enough but what will become of your frame and you know I am so plaguey bashful so naturally an ass upon these occasions that ah you must be Balder man travel three years and bring home such a baby as bashfulness a great lusty fellow and a soldier fie upon it lookee sir I can visit and I can ogle a little as thus or thus now then I can kiss abundantly but if they chance to give me a forbidding look as some women you know have a devilish cast for their eyes or if they cry what do you mean what do you take before face Remember Who I am sir a person of quality to be used at this rate he dead I'm struck as flat as a frying pan words of course never mind them turn you about upon your heel with a jump day ere hung out the end of an old song cut a cross caper and at her again door Tet imitates him no hang it who never do opens what did my father mean by sticking me up in a university or to think that I should gain anything by my head in a nation whose genius lies all in their heels well if ever I come to have children my own they shall have the education of the country they shall learn to dance before they can walk and be taught to sing before they can speak come come throw off that childish humor put on assurance there's no avoiding it stand all hazards doubt a stout lusty fellow and hashed a good estate look laughs Hector you have a good side box face a pretty impudent face so that's pretty well hmm this fellow went abroad like an ox and this returned like an ass let me see now how I look pulls out a pocket glass and looks on it aside books they say you you get I don't like it Mirabelle fie sir don't abuse your friends I could not wear such a face the best counties in Christendom why can't you blockhead as well as I why thou has impotence to set a good face upon anything I would change half my gold for half died breasts with all my heart who comes here also Mirabel your father enter old Mirabelle where's Bob dear Bob your blessings sir my blessing damn you you young rogue why did not you come to see your father first sir ah my dear boy I am heartily glad to see thee my dear child in faith captain dirt eight by the blood of the Mirabelle's I'm yours well my lads you look bravely in faith bob has got any money left not a farthing sir why then I won't get your sous I did but chest here's ten pistols why then here's ten more I love to be charitable to those that don't want it well and how do you like it away my boys Oh God in the world's wrong Naples Venice Milan and a thousand others Oh fine I say you so and they say that GRE is very fine too indifferent sir very indifferent a very scurvy air the most unwholesome to a French Constitution in the world sure nothing on these rascally gazetteers have misinformed you misinformed me on sir were we not beaten they're beaten sir we beaten why how was it pray sweet sir the sir the captain will tell you no sir your son will tell you the captain was in the action sir he is also more than I sir for he was a looker on confound you both for abrasive cowards here are no Germans to overhear you why don't you tell me how it was why then you must know that we marched a body of the finest bravest well-dressed fellows in the universe our commanders at the head of us all lacing feather like so many boat oh I don't believe there was a man of them but cadenza cha murim oh yeah dance very well were you fellows in faith we kept it up to the very chunchu's and they saw peeping over a parcel of scarecrow all of colored gunpowder fellows as ugly as the devil egad I should never forget the looks of them well I have breath to fetch they were so similar need us to welcome us with their cannon but for the rest we found them such unmannerly rude and sociable dogs that we grew tired of the company so we in dance back again and did you all come back no two or three thousand of us stayed behind why Bob why cha because they could not come that night no sir because they could not come that night but come sir we were talking of something else mmm pray how does your lovely charge the fare Oriana right sir just right you'll find it better engaging with her than with the Germans let me tell you and what would you say my young Mars if I had a Venus for thee to come Bob your apartment is ready and pray let your friend to be my guest to you shall command the house between ye and all be as merry as the best of you excellent end of Act one act 2 of the inconstant by George Farquhar this is a librivox recording all librivox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit librivox.org act ii scene one old Mirabelle's house Oriana and bizarre and you love this young rake do you yes in spite of all his ill usage I can't help it what's the matter with you sure Oh before that any young lying swearing fluttering Ray Kelly fellow should play such tricks with me oh there devil take all your Cassandra's and Cleopatra's for me I warrant now you played a fool when he comes and say you love him eh I certainly I can't assemble the soul besides to suppose that we're contracted contracted a lackaday poor thing what you have changed rings or broken an old broad peace between you I would make a fool of any fellow in friends well I must confess I do love little coquetting with all my heart my business should be to break gold with my lover one hour and crack my promise the next he should find me one day with a prayer book in my hand and with the play book another he should have my consent to buy the wedding ring and the next moment would I ask him his name oh my dear whether no greater tie-up on my heart then there is upon my conscience I would soon through the contract out of doors but the mischief on tis I am so fond of being tired that I am forced to be just and the strength of my passion keeps down the inclination of my sax but he is the old gentleman enter old Mirabel where's my wenches where is my two little girls Hey have a care look to yourselves in faith there are common the travelers are a common well which of you too will be my daughter-in-law now misery bazaar what say you madcap Mirabelle is a pure wild fellow I like him the worse you'd lie huh see you liked him the better indeed you do what say you my other little filbert hey I suppose the gentleman would choose for himself sir why that's discretely said and so he shall enter Mirabelle and door tete they salute the ladies Bob hark ye you shall marry one of these girls sir da sir marry them both of you please bazaar aside he'll find that one may serve his turn both why you young dog do you banter me come sir take your choice dirt it you shall have your choice – but Robin shall choose first come sir begin well which do you like both but which will you marry neither neither don't make me angry now Bob pray don't make me angry looky Sarah if I don't dance at your wedding tomorrow I shall be very glad to cry at your grave Massa bull father a ball why how now I'm grateful sir did I make the a man that thou stretched make me a beast your pardon sir only meant your expression Harkey Bob learned better manners to your father before strangers I won't be angry this time but hoons if ever you do it again you rascal remember what I say exit cha what does old fellow mean by mu and me up here with a couple of green girls come detect what do you go I heard mr. Mirabelle you had forgot no no matter man forgot I've brought you a thousand little Italian curiosities I'll assure you madam as far as a hundred pistols would reach I had forgot the least circumstance sir you misunderstand me also Alex madam from Rome I do remember now you made a vow of chastity before my departure vow of chastity or something like it was it not madam Oh sir I wanted a present exit she was coming full mouth upon me of their contract what I might dispatch each other Miravalle lady there observe her she's wonders pretty faith and seems to have but few words I like her mainly speak to her man pretty speak to her madam here was a gentleman who declares met him don't believe him I declare nothing what the devil do you mean man he says madam the few are as beautiful as an angel he tells a damn lie madam I say no such thing are you mad Mirabelle why I should drop down with Jayma so madam not doubting but your ladyship may like him as well as he does you I think it proper to leave you together going dura tete holds him hold hold why Mirabelle frind sure you won't be so barbarous as to leave me alone prithee speak to her for yourself as he were Lord Lord that a Frenchman should want impotence you look mighty demure madam she's deaf captain I had much rather has her dumb the gravity of your air madam promises some extraordinary fruits from your study which moves us with curiosity to inquire the subject of your ladyship's contemplation oh not a word I hope in the Lord she speechless if she be she is mine this moment mere will you think a woman's silence can be natural but to form switch logicians introduced and which proceeded from simple enumeration are dubitable and proceeded only upon admittance hoity-toity what a plug are we here Plato in petticoats I let it go on man she talks in my own mother tongue this exposed to invalidity from a contradictory in instance looks only upon common operations and is infinite in its termination rare pedantry axioms axioms self-evident principles then the ideas were with the mind is preoccupied Oh gentlemen I hope you pardon my cogitation I was involved in a profound point of philosophy but I shall discuss it somewhere else being satisfied that the subject is not agreeable to your sparks that profess the vanity of the times exit good eye way good wife bias to here does het dust here this starched piece of austerity she's mine man she's mine my own talent duty I'll make sure in dialectics faith I was seven years at the university man nursed up with Barbaro cellar and dairy very Oh Beryl Lipton did you ever know man that post metaphysics made me an ass it was faith had she talked a word of singing dancing plays fashions all alike I had found it at the first step but as she is Mirabelle wish me joy hmm you don't mean marriage I hope no no I am a man of more honor bravely resolved captain now for I credit warn me this frozen snowball will be a conquest above the Alps but will you promise to be always near me upon all occasions never fear right then you shall see me in two moments make an induction from my love to her hand from her hand to her mouth from her mouth to her heart and sokham prude in her bed let the girl Matty's now the game begins and my fool is entered but here comes one to spoil my sport now shall I be teased to death with his old-fashioned contract I should love her too if I might do it my own way but she'll do nothing without witnesses forsooth I wonder women can be so immodest enter Orianna well madam why'd you follow me well sir what do you shown me just my humor madam and naturally swayed by inclination have you forgot her contract sir only remember that contract is that it was made some three years ago when that's enough and conscience to forget the restaurant miss efficient sir to recollect the passing of it for in that circumstance I presume lies the force of the obligation obligations madam that are forced upon the will are NotI upon the conscience I was a slave to my passion when I passed the instrument but the recovery of my freedom makes the contract void come mr. mobile these expressions are expect from the regular array of your humor but I've hoped for very different sentiments from your honor and generosity look you madam is for my generosity do such a service with all my heart I'll keep you a coach in six horses if you please only permit me to keep my honour to myself consider madam you have no such thing among in does the main point of policy to keep no faith the reprobates though what a pretty little reprobate and so get the about my business well sir even all this I will allow to the gaiety of your temper your travels have improved your talent of talking but they are not a force I hope to empower your morals morals Oh why there tis again now I telli child there is not the least occasion for morals in any business between you and I don't you know that of all commerce in the world there's no such carcinogen deceit as in the traffic between man and woman we study all our lives long how to put tricks upon one another no fowler lays abroad more nets for his game nor a hunter for his prey than YouTube to catch poor innocent men why do you sit three or four hours at your toilet in the morning only with the villainous decide to make some poor fellow a fool before night what he sigh for what do you we for what do you pray for wife or a husband that is you employ Providence to assist you in the just in pious design of making the wisest of his creatures a fool and the head of the creation a slave so I am proud of my power and I'm resolved to use it hold-hold madam not so fast see a variety of vanities to make cockscombs of us so we arouse oaths and pata stations of all sorts inside is to make fools of you and this in short my dear creature is our present condition I have sworn and lied briskly to gain my ends of you your ladyship is patched and painted violently to gain your ends of me but since we are both disappointed that is make a drawing battle and part clear on both sides with all my heart sir give me up my contract and I'll never see your face again indeed I won't child what sir neither do one nor to the other no you should I made unless you please to be otherwise upon my terms what do you intend by there sir why to starve you into compliance lookee you shall never marry any man and you it is good let me do you a kindness as a stranger sir Europe what am i man a village sir I'm glad on I never knew an honest fellow in my life but was a villain upon these occasions and you drawn yourself now what – very pretty dilemma the poor lady has made a vow of virginity when she thought of making a vow to the contrary with every poor woman so cheated into chastity sir my fortune is equal to yours my friends as powerful and birth shall be put to the test to do me justice what you'll force me to marry you will you sir the law shall but the law can't force me to do anything else can it sure I despise the monster kissing me friends then don't cry child and you should have your sugarplum come madam do you think I could be so unreasonable as to make you fast all your life long no I did but chest you shall have your Liberty here take your contract and give me mine no I won't yeah what is the girl for no sir you shall find me cunning enough to do my soft justice and since I must not depend upon your love I'll be revenged and force you to marry me out of spite then I'll beat the out of spite and make a most confounded husband Oh sir I shall machi a good husband makes a good wife at anytime I'll rattle down your China about your ears and I'll rattle about the city to run you in debt for more I'll tear the FIR below of your clothes and when you swim from Accession you shan't have a penny to buy a bottle of Hearts horn and you sir shall have hot horn in abundance I'll keep as many mistresses as I have coach horses it all keep as many colors you have grooms that's sweet madam there is such a thing as divorce but sweet sir there is such a thing as alimony so divorce on and spare not exit that separate maintenance is the devil there's their refuge oh my conscience one would take cuckold him for a meritorious action because the women are so handsomely rewarded for it exit enter door tete and petite and she's Monty peevish you say Oh sir she has a tongue as long as my leg and talks so crudely you would think she always spoke will that's an old language methinks for her philosophy but sometimes she will sit you half a day without speaking a word and talk Oracle's all the while by the wrinkles of her forehead and the motions of her eyebrows me I shall match her in philosophical boggles faith that's my talent I can talk best you must know when I say nothing but do you ever laugh sir laughs once she in do laughing why she's a critic sir she hates a jest for fear it should please her and nothing keeps her in humor but what gives her the spleen and then for logic and all that you know I I I'm prepared I have been practicing hard words and no sense this hour to entertain her then place yourself behind this screen that you may have a view of her behavior before you begin I long to engage her lest I should forget my listen here she comes sir I must fly exit petite and or that stands peeping behind the curtain enter bizarre and made bizarre with a book sure hang books they saw our tempers spoil our eyes and ruin our complexions throws away the book Hey the devil such a word there is enormous total come wench let's be free call in the fiddle there's nobody near us would to the Lord there was not here friend am Inuit music quicker time would we had a man or two door tete stealing away you shall have the devil sooner my dear dancing philosopher that's my life he is one runs to do a chat and hails him back it's all my learning preparation come to this come sir don't be ashamed that's my good boy you're very welcome we wanted such a one come strike up dance I know you dance well sir you're finally shaped for it come come sir quick quick you missed the time else but madam I come to talk with you hey I talk as you dance talk as you dance come but we were talking of dialectics hang dialectics music mind the time quicker Sarah come and how do you find yourself now sir in a fine breathing sweat doctor all the better patient all the better comes a signal sing I know you sing well I see you have a singing face heavy dull Sonata face who I sing oh you're modest sir but come sit down closer closer here a bottle of wine exit made and returns with wine come sir sing sir but madam I came to talk with you Oh sir you shall drink first come fill me a bumper here sir bless the king would I were out of his dominions by this light she'll make me drunk – oh pardon me sir you shall do me you're right feel it higher no sir can you drink a health under your leg rare philosophy that faith come off with it to the bottom now how do you like me sir oh mighty well madam you see how a woman's fancy varies sometimes splenetic and heavy then gain frolicsome and how do you like the human good madam let me sit down to ants you for I am heartily tired sorry upon it a young man and tired up for shame and talk about action becomes us a little faster sir what do you think now of my lady lapel and lady Coquet The Dukes fair daughter are they not priests classes then there is black mrs. bel-air and brown mrs. Bell face they are all strangers to me madam but let me tell you sir that Brown is not always despicable Oh large sir if young mrs. baggert L had kept herself single till this time of day what a beauty they had been and then you know the charming mrs. monkey loves the fair gem of such a mass upon my soul I don't and then you must have heard of the English both spleen amour how unlike a gentleman Hey not a syllable aunt as I hope to be saved madam No why then play me a jig music the cancer by this light I cannot faith Madame I have sprained my leg then sit you down sir and now tell me what's your business with me what's your errand quick quick dispatch thought so maybe you are some gentleman's servant that has brought me a letter or a haunch of venison death madam do I look like a carrier cry you mercy I saw you just now I mistook you upon my word you are one of the travelling gentlemen and pray sir how do all our impudent friends in Italy Madame I came to wait on you with a most serious intention then your entertainment has answered sir your intention of waiting on me was the greatest affront imaginable however your expressions may turn it to a compliment your visit sir was intended as a prologue to a very scurvy play of which mr. Mirabal and you so handsomely laid the plot marry no no I am a man of more honor who is your honor where's your courage now it's my life sir I have a great mind to kick you go go to your fellow rake now ray let my sex and get drunk for vexation and write a Lampoon but I must have you to know sir that my reputation is above the scandal of a libel my virtue is sufficiently approved to those whose opinion is my interest and for the rest let them talk what they will for when I please I'll be what I please in spite of you and all mankind and so my dear man of honor if you be tired Conover this lesson and sit there till I come to you runs off tongue dee-dum ha ha ha Edd's my life I have a good mind to kick you wounds and confusion starts up whatever man so abused Hey Mirabel set me on enter petite well sir how do you find yourself yes son of a 9 I'd hold you come to abuse me I'll kick you with a vengeance yeah dog petite runs off endure tete after him end of act 2 act 3 of the inconstant by George Farquhar this is a librivox recording all librivox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit librivox.org act the third scene one old Mirabelle's house enter old and young Mirabelle meeting Bob come here there Bob your pleasure sir are not you a great rogue sir ah that's a little out of my comprehension sir so I've heard say that I resemble my father your father is you're very humble slave I tell you what child thou art a very pretty fellow and I love the heartily and a very great villain and I hate the mortally villain sir then I must be a very impudent one for I can't recollect any passage of my life that I'm ashamed of come here there my dear friend duster see this picture shows him a little picture orianna's cha what sir won't you look appoint Bob dear Bob for thee come hither now dust want any money child no sir why then here's some for thee come here now how canst thou be so hard-hearted an unnatural unmannerly rascal don't mistake me child I aren't angry as to abused this tender lovely good-natured dear rogue why she sighs for thee and cries for thee pouch for thee and snubs for thee the poor little heart of it is like the burst oh my dear boy be good-natured like your own father be now and then see here read this the effigies of the lovely Orianna worth thirty thousand pound to her portion thirty thousand pound you dog thirty thousand pound you rogue how dare you refuse a woman with thirty thousand pound you impudent rascal will hear me speak sir here you speak sir if you had 30,000 tongues you could not out talk 30,000 pound sir nay sir if you won't hear me I'll be gone sir I'll take post for Italy this moment ah the fellow knows I won't part with him well sir what had you to say the universal reception sir that marriage has had in the world is enough to fix it for a public good to draw everybody into the common cause but there are some constitutions like some instruments so peculiarly singular that they make horrible music by themselves but never do well in a concert why this is the reason I must confess but yet it is nonsense – for though you should reason like an angel if you argue yourself out of a good estate you talk like a fool but Sir if you bribe me into bondage with the riches of Croesus you leave me but a beggar for want of my Liberty was ever such a perverse fool heard so death sir why did I give you an education was it to dispute me out of my senses of what color now is the head of this cane you'll say tis white and ten to one make me believe it – I thought that young fellow studied to get money no sir I have study to despise it my reading was not to make me rich but happy sir there he has me again now but sir did not I marry to oblige you to oblige me sir and what respect pray why to bring you into the world sir wasn't that an obligation and because I would have it still an obligation I avoid marriage how is that sir because I will not curse the hour I was born lucky friend you may persuade me out of my designs but I'll command you out of yours and though you may convince my reason that you are in the right yet there is an old attendant of 63 called positiveness which you nor all the Wits in Italy shall ever be able to shake so sir you're a wit and I'm a father you may talk but I'll be obeyed this it is to have the Sun a fine agenda man than the father they first give us breeding but they don't understand then they turn us out of doors because we are whiter than themselves but I'm a little apprehend you have been pleased to settle a thousand pounds sterling a year upon me in return of which I have a very great honour for you and your family and shall take care that your only and beloved son shall do nothing to make him aid his father or to hang himself so dear sir and you're very humble servant runs off here sir ah rogue Bob villain enter Dugard ah sir tis but what he deserves his fault sir he don't deserve it what have you to say against my boy sir I shall only repeat your own words what have you to do with my words I have swallowed my words already I have eaten them up I say that Bob's an honest fellow and who dares deny it enter bizarre that dare I sir I say that your son is a wild foppish whimsical impertinent cockscomb and where I abused as this gentleman sister is I would make it an Italian quarrel and poison the whole family come sir tis no time for trifling my sister is abused you are made sensible of the affront and your honour is concerned to see her redressed lookee mr. de garde good words go farthest I will do your sister justice but it must be after my own rate nobody must abuse my son but myself for although Robin be a sad dog yet he's nobody's puppy but my own eye that's my sweet natured kind old gentleman we we will be good then if you join with us in the plot are you coaxing young baggage what plot can you have – we do a fellow of 63 a plot that 63 is only good for to bring other people together sir you must act the Spaniard because your son will least suspect you and if he should your authority protects you from a quarrel – which Orianna is unwilling to expose her brother and what part were you act in the business madam myself sir my friend is grown a perfect changeling these foolish hearts of ours spoil our heads presently the fellows no sooner turned knaves but we turn fools but I am still myself and he may expect the most severe usage for me because I neither love him no hate him exits well said mrs. paradox but sir who must open the matter to him p'tee sir who is our engineer general and here he comes enter petite Oh sir more discoveries our friends about us Hey speak freely you must know sir what's my life I'm out of breath you must know sir you must know what the devil must be no sir then I have pants and blows bribe sir really your son Secretary of State Secretary of State who's that for heaven's sake his valet de chambre sir you must know sir that the intrigue lay folded up in his master's clothes and when he went to dust the embroidered suit the secret flew out of the right pocket of his coat in a whole swarm of your crambo songs short footed oats and long-legged pin Derrick's impossible ah sir he has loved her all along there was Oriana in every line but he hates marriage now sir this plot will stir up his jealousy and we shall know by the strength of that how to proceed farther come sir let's about it was speed his expectation gives our King the sway for expedition to the French give way swift to attack or Swift to run away excellent enter young Mirabelle and bizarre passing carelessly by one another bizarre aside I wonder what she can see in this fellow – like him young Mirabelle aside I wonder what my friend can see in this girl to admire her a word foppish extravagant array quell a light whimsical impertinent madcap whom do you mean sir whom do you mean Madame a fellow that has nothing left to reestablish him for a human creature but a prudent resolution to hang himself there is a way Madame divorced me to that resolution I'll do it with all my heart then you must marry me yogi yes sir don't think you're a menace to me shall excuse you in the usage of my friend no by fixing a quarrel here to divert my zeal for the absent for I am resolved nay I come prepared to make you a panegyric that shall mortify your pride like any modern dedication and I madam like a true modern patron shall hardly give you thanks for your trouble come sir to let you see what little foundation you have for your dears efficiency I'll take you to pieces and what piece will you choose here hard to be sure because I should get presently rid on it here courage I would give to a Hector you wit to elude playmaker here honor to an attorney here body to the physicians hand here soul to its master I had the oddest dream last night if the Duchess of candy he thought the furbelows of a gown were pinned up so high behind that I could not see I had fur a tail Oh the creature don't mind me do you think so that you're humorous impertinence can divert me and no sir I'm above any pleasure that you can give but that of seeing you miserable and mark me sir my friend my injured friend shall yet be doubly happy and who shall be a husband as much as the rites of marriage and the breach of them can make you hear Mirabelle pulls out a virgil and reads to himself while she speaks reading Etrigan doulas quiz father a pasta term Anton the similary idioms porosity they feel done – very true Postini fuss by a favor friend Virgil it was but a rascally trick of your hero to forsake poor pug so inhumanly I don't know what to say to him daredevil what's virtue to us sir very much madam the most apropos in the world form what should I chop upon but the very place with a perjured rogue of a lover and the forsaken lady are battling at tooth and nail come madam spend your spirits no longer we'll take an easier method I'll be Aeneas now and you should be Dido and we'll rail by book now for you madam Dido nekton austere a more nectar daughter dextera quondam neck more iturra then it grew daily genera Dido poor died down looking at her rudeness my France impatience hello I could almost start out even to manhood and want what a weapon as long as his to fight him upon the spot what shall I say now she ran why quibble Santa theorem yum-yum neck Maxima you know a man know the woman's birth was spirited away right right madam the very words per feed a credo saurons caucus with you may go sir fly to your midnight revels excellent oh no the devil take his impudence he vexes me so I don't know whether to cry or laugh at him ha bravely perform my dear Libyan alright the tragedy of Dido and you should act the part but you do nothing at all unless you fret yourself into a fit or here the poor lady is stifled with the vapors drops into the arms of a maids and the cruel barbarous disease fool wander is in the very next line cold pious Aeneas there's Authority for you sorry indeed Aeneas stood to see her in a pout but Joe himself who never thought good to stay a second bout commands him off with all his crew and leaves poor die as I leave you runs off Kodai ways for a dear mad deceitful agreeable fellow on my conscience I must excuse Oriana that lover soon his angry fear disarms who's lighting pleases and whose faults are charms exit enter petit runs about to every door and knocks mr. Mirabelle sir where are you nowhere to be found enter young Mirabelle what's the matter petite most critically met ah sir the one who has followed the game so long and brought the poor haired just under his paws should let a mongrel kerchief in and run away with the push if your worship can get out of your allegories be pleased to tell me in three words what you mean plain plain sir your mistress and mine is going to be married I believe you lies sir your humble servant sir going come here the petite married see you now sir tis no matter I only thought to do you a service but I shall take care how I confer my favors for the future sir I beg Ten Thousand pardons bowing low it is enough sir I come to tell you sir that Orianna is this moment to be sacrificed married past redemption hmm I understand him she'll take a husband out of spite to me and then I'd have loved to me she will make him a cuckold but who is the happy man Oh Lord sir I'm her ladyship's the most humble servant now must I be a constant attendant my lord sir they talk my way to my lady's coucher accountants I presume sir a Spanish count sir that mr. du gard new abroad has come to Paris saw your mistress yesterday marries her today and whips her into Spain tomorrow ah is it so and must I follow my cuckold over the Pyrenees actually married within the precincts of a be do I would be the man to lead it to church but as it happens I'll forbid the banns where is his mighty doom have a care sir he's a rough cross-grained piece and there's no tampering with him would you apply to mr. du gard or the lady herself something might be done for it isn't despite to you that the business is carried so hastily oh it's so sir here he comes I must be gone exit enter old Mirabelle dressed in a Spanish habit leading Orianna good my lord a noble choice had better suited your Lordships merit my person rank and circumstance expose me as the public theme of raillery and subject me so to injurious usage my lord that I can lay no claim to any part of your regard except your pity breathes he vital air that dares presume with rude behavior to profane such excellence show me the man and you shall see how my sudden revenge shall fall upon the head of such presumption is this thing one strutting up to young Mirabelle sir good my lord if he or any he pray my Lords a gentleman's a stranger Oh your pardon sir but if you had remember sir the lady now is mine her injuries are mine therefore sir you understand me come Madame leads Orianna to the door she goes off young Mirabelle runs to his father and pulls him by the sleeve a coupe Monsieur Comte your business sir buh-bah what language is that sir Spanish milord what do you mean listen sir trips up his heels a very concise quarrel truly I'll bully him three dates in your give me fair play offering to rise by all means sir takes away his sword now Senor where's that bombast look and fustian face your Township wore just now strikes him the rope quarrels well very well my own son right but hold sir ah no more jesting I'm your father sir your father huh my father then by this light I could find in my heart to pay thee aside if the fellowmen merit why sure sir I hadn't freighted you out of your senses but you have sir then I'll beat them into you again offers to strike him why rogue Bob dear Bob don't you know me child downright distracted thou miracle of impudence which they'll make me believe that such a grave gentleman as my father would go masquerading Thoth that a person of threescore and three would run about in a fool's coat to displace himself in family why are you impeded villain do you think I will suffer such an affront to pass upon my honoured father my worthy father My dear father yes sir measured my father but once again and I'll send your soul to that grandfather this minute offering to stab him well well I am NOT your father why then sir you are the saucy hectoring Spaniard and I'll use you accordingly enter Dugard Orianna maid and petite du gard runs to young Mirabelle the rests of the old gentleman fie fie Mirabel murder your father my father what is the whole family mad give me waste sir I won't be held no nor I neither let me be gone pray offering to go my father ah you dogs face I am your father for I have borne as much for thee as your mother ever did oh then this was a trick it seems a design contrivance a stratagem oh how my bones ache your bone sirrah why yours why sir and I've been beating my own flesh and blood all this while Oh madam to Orianna I wish your ladyship joy of Union dignity here was a contrivance indeed prese don't insult the misfortunes of your own creating my prudence will be counted cowardice if I stand tamely now comes up between young Mirabelle and his sister well sir well sir do you take me for one of your tenants sir that you put on your landlord's face at me on what presumption sir dare you assume thus draws what's that to you sir jaws help help the lady faints Oriana falls into her maids arms they purse they purse should come to herself they're being angry fit a drama of asafetida of jealous teen hearts horn and water if the mother burns fellows if grief ratafia it'd be straight stays or corns there's nothing like a dram of plain brandy exit hold off give me ah oh my brother would you preserve my life and days you're not your own would you defend my reputation leave it to itself it is a dear vindication that purchased by the sword for though our champion proved victorious yes our honour is wounded I and your lover may be wounded that's another thing but I think you are pretty brisk again my child eisah mind his position was only a pretence to divert the quarrel the capricious takes your sex excuses this artifice in ours exit come mr. du gard take courage there's a way still left to fetch him again sir I'll have no plot that has any relation to Spain i scorn all artifice whatsoever my sword shall do her justice pretty justice truly suppose you run him through the body you run her through the heart at the same time and meet with a head brought your sword sir we'll have plots competitor let's hear what if she pretended to go into a nunnery and so bring him about to declare him that I must confess has a face a face a face like an angel sir odds my life sir it is the most beautiful plot in Christendom we'll about it immediately excellent end of act 3 act 4 of the inconstant by George Farquhar this is a librivox recording all librivox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit librivox.org act the 4th scene1 old Mirabelle's house enter old Mirabelle and Dugard the lady abbess is my relation and privy to the plot this nunnery will bring him about I warrant ye entered with it yeah where are you Oh mr. Mirabelle you have done fine things for your posterity and you mr. duggard may come to answer this I come to demand my friend at your hands restore him Sir or restore him what do you think I have got him in my trunk or my pocket sir he's mad and you are the cause hunt for that and maybe for I was as mad as he when I be got him mad sir what do you mean what you mean sir by shutting up your sister yonder to talk like a parrot through a cage or a decoy duck to draw others into the snare your son sir because she has deserted him he has forsaken the world and in three words has hanged himself there very same turned friar you lie sir just ten times worse Bob turned friar why should the fellow shave his foolish crown when the same razor may cut his throat if you have any command o you any interest over him lose not a minute he has thrown himself into the next monastery Hana's ordered me to pay off he servants and discharge is equip each lets me alone to ferret him out I'll sacrifice the abbot if it receives him I'll try whether the spiritual or the natural father has the most right to the child but dear captain what has he done with his estate settled it upon the church said the church nay then the devil won't get him out of their clutches ten thousand liras a year upon the church just downright sacrilege come gentlemen All Hands to work for half that some one of these monasteries shall protect you a traitor from the law a rebellious wife from her husband and a disobedient son from his own father exit but will ye persuade me that he's gone to a monastery is your sister gone to the filly's repent 'yes I tell you sir she's not fit for the Society of repenting maids why so sir because she's neither one nor t'other she's too old to be a maid and too young did weep int exit du gard after him seen to the inside of a monastery enter Orianna in a nun's habit and bizarre a herpes oh there is no harm in Justin with his religious habit to me the greatest jest in the habit is taking it in earnest but I'm broken thought me thanks to the mortification of an honoree because I fancy the habit becomes me aware a contrived mortification truly that makes a woman look ten times handsomer than she did before hi my dear were there any religion in becoming dress our sexist devotion were rightly placed for our toilets would do the work of the altar we should all be canonized but don't you think there is a great deal of merit in dedicating a beautiful face and parson to the service of religion not have so much as devoting them to a pretty fellow come come mind your business Mirabelle loves you tis now plain and hold him to it give fresh orders that he shan't see you we get more by hiding faces sometimes that by exposing them a very mask you wet STIs ire but a pair of keen eyes through an iron great fire double upon them with view and disguise but I must be gone upon my affairs I have brought my captain about again that's why will he trouble yourself with a coxcomb because he is a coxcomb had I not better have a lover like him that I can make an ass of than a lover like yours to make a fool of me knocking below a message from Mirabelle I'll lay my life she runs to the door come hither run though charming none come hither what's the news runs to her don't you see who's below I see nobody but a friar odd I'll poor blind Cupid a friar don't you see a villainous genteel mean under that cloak of hypocrisy as I live Mirabel turned friar I hope in heaven he knows in earnest in earnest are you in earnest remember what I say if he would yield to advantage and hold out the attack to draw him on keep him off to be sure the cunning gamesters never gained too fast but lose at first to wind more at last exit enter young Mirabelle in a friars habit save your sister your brother young lady having a regard for your shows health has sent me to prepare you for the secret habits by a confession my brother's care I own and to you sacred sir I confess that the great crime scene would I have long indulged and now prepared to expiate was love by morning thoughts my evening prayers my daily musings nightly cares was love she's done right stark mad and earnest death and confusion I have lost her you confess your faults madam in such moving terms that I could almost be in love the sin Kassar crimes like that shoes are their own rewards my teeth delight to became my only grief he in whose breast I thought to my heart secure turned a robber and he spoiled the trophy that he kept perhaps that treasure he esteemed so much that like the miser no afraid to use it he reserves it safe no Holy Father who can be Mars in another's wealth that's protocol of his own his heart was open sheds all he knew and what alas must then become a mine but the same eyes that drew this passion in shall send it out in tears too it's now here my vow young Mirabelle discovering himself no my fairy angel here on my knees behold the criminal that vows repentance his kneels ha no concern upon her enter old Mirabelle where where's this counterfeit nun madness confusion I'm ruined what do I hear puts on his hood what did you say sir I say she's a counterfeit and you may be another for aught I know sir I have lost my child by these tricks sir what tricks her by a pretended trick sir a contrivance to bring my son to reason and it has made him stark mad I have lost him and a thousand pound a year young Mirabelle discovering himself My dear father how your most humble servant my dear boy runs and kisses him welcome ex in Ferris My dear boy it is all the trick she's no more undone than I am no good a ball bit then kiss me again my dear dad for the most happy news and now most venerable holy sister kneels your mercy and your pardon I implore for the offence of asking it before lookee my tear counterfeiting nun take my advice be a nun in good earnest women make the best nuns always when they can't do otherwise how unhappily have you destroyed what was so near perfection he is the counterfeit that has deceived you huh look he's sir every can't she is a nun sir your humble servant did I on the friar this moment was ever an old fool so battered by a brace of young ones hang you both you're both counterfeit and my plot spoiled that's all shame and confusion love anger and disappointment will work my brain to madness takes off her habit exit III throw by the rags they have served a turn for us both and they shall even go off together takes off his habit exit throwing away the habit scene three old Mirabelle's house enter door Tet with a letter reads my rudeness was only a proof of your humor which I have found so agreeable that I own myself patent and willing to make any reparation upon your first appearance too bizarre Mirabelle swear she loves me and this confirms it then farewell gallantry and welcome revenge tis my turn now to be upon the sublime I'll take her off I warrant her and her bizarre well mistress do you love me I hope so he will pardon the modesty of of what of a dancing devil do you love me I say perhaps I what perhaps I do not ah abused again did woman I hold hell sir I do do confirm it then by your obedience stand there and all go mean now as if your heart blood and soul would like to fly out at your eyes first the direct surprise she looks full upon him right NYX that they do Europe are oblique she gives him the side glance right now depart and languish she turns from him and looks over her shoulder very well now sigh she sighs now drop your fan on purpose she drops her fan now take it up again come now confess your faults are not you a proud say after me proud in pertinent impertinent ridiculous ridiculous flirt puppy suing this woman don't provoke me we are alone and you don't know but the devil may tip me to do you a mischief ask my pardon immediately I do sir I only mistook the word cry then have you got a handkerchief yes sir cry then handsomely cry like a queen in a tragedy enter two ladies laughing yeah hell broke loose upon me at all the Furies fluttered about my ears betrayed again that you are upon my word my dear captain the Lord deliver me what is this the mighty man with the bull face that comes to frighten ladies ah madam I'm the best natured fellow in the world a man who a mistaken a man has Menace the awkward creature is some tinker stroll in a Perry wig come ladies let us examine him they lay hold on him examine the devil you will I lay my life some great dairymaid in man's clothes they will do it looky dear Christian women pray hear me will you ever attempt a lady's honor again if you please to let me get away with my honor I'll do anything in the world will you persuade your friend to marry mine oh yes to be sure and will you do the same by me good me if I do it the coast be clear runs out to visit ladies was critical for our diversions I will go make an end of our tea excellent enter young Mirabelle and old Mirabelle your patience sir I tell you I won't marry and though you send all the bishops in France to persuade me I shall never believe their doctrine against their practice you would compel me to that state which I have heard you curse yourself when my mother knew have battled it for a week together never but once you rogue and that was when she longed for six flanders mares hi sir then she was breeding of you which showed what an expensive dog I should have of you enter petite well pet it how is she now mad sir calm pompous hi mister Mirabelle you'll believe that I speak truth now when I confess I've told you Heather – nothing but lies our testing has come to a sad earnest she's downright as directed enter bazaar where is this mighty Victor the great exploit is done Oh sir – the old gentleman your wretched Ward has found a tender guardian of you were a young innocence expected protection here has she found her ruin I the fault is mine for I believe that rogue won't marry for fear of begetting such another disobedient son as his father did I have done all I can Madame and now can do no more than run mad for company cries enter to guard with his sword drawn away revenge revenge patience patience sir old Mirabel holds him Bob draw patience the coward's virtue and the Braves man failing when thus provoked villain your sisters frenzy shall excuse your madness and to show my concern for what she suffers I'll bear the villain from her brother put up your anger with your sword I have a heart like yours that swells it in a front received but melts at an injury given and if the lovely orianna's grief be such a moving scene we'll find a part within this breast passes tenderizer brothers to prove that soft compassion for her grief endeavor to remove it there there the whole an object that's infective I cannot view her but I am as mad as she enter Orianna held by two maids who put her in a chair a sister that might dying parents left with their last words and blessing to my care goes to her sister dear sister hi poor child poor child do you know me you you are busy to go sir Oh Oh my heart will you never in love fair lady and do you never dream of flowers and gardens I dream of walking fires and tall gigantic sights take heed it comes out what's that pray stand away I have seen that face sure how light my head is what piercing charm says beauty even in madness I cannot for I must be opt to go to church and I must dress me but on my new gown and be so fine to meet to my love hey oh well not you Tommy where my heart lies buried my very source touched your hand My Fair how soft and gentle you feel ho tell you your fortune friend she stares upon me you have a flattering face but is a fine one I warrant she have five hundred mistress's eyes to be sure a mistress for every Guinea in his pocket will you pray for me I shall die tomorrow and will you ring my passing bell do you know me injured creature no but you shall be my intimate acquaintance in the grave weeps Oh Cheers I must believe you sure there's a kind of sympathy and madness for even I obdurate as I am to feel my soul so tossed of storms passion that then I could cry for help as well as he wipes his eyes what have you lost you lover no you mock me I'll go home and pray stay my fear innocence and hear me oh my love so loud that I make all your senses to their place restore them to their charming happy functions and reinstate myself into your favor theater alone sir tis all too late she trembles hold her her fits grows stronger by her talking don't trouble her she don't know you sir not know him what then she loves to see him for all that entered to a tete where are you what the devil melancholy and I hear he said and such a ridiculous subject such a very good jest among you as I am away with this impertinence this is no place for back at out I haven't murdered my honor destroyed a lady in my desire of reparation has come at length too late see there what do you use her alas she's mad men just wonder if that by this light there also there cozening med they brawling mad they're proud mad I just now came from a whole world of mad women that had almost what she did yet heavens forbid heavens further it for till they be as cold as a key there's no trusting them you never sure the woman's in earnest till she's nailed in her coffin should I talk to her are you mad mistress what's that to you sir Odin's madam are you there runs off away though wild buffoon help poor and mean the Schumer now appears his folly is in my own eye here disclaim miss ladies frenzy has restored my senses and was she perfect now as once she was before you all I speed she would be mine and as she is my tears and prayers shall Wed her how happy had this declaration been some hours ago sir she beckons to you and weighs us to go off come come let's leave them excellent all but young Mirabelle and oreonna AUTOSAR speaking my tummy angel if your dear senses have regained their order speak fare and bless me with the news first let me bless the cunning of my sucks that half a counterfeited frenzy that has restored my poor laboring breath the dearest best beloved of men to nollie spheres your instruments of joy and carry around your spacious orbs a happy sound of Orianna sell his soul whose harmony was next to yours is now in tune again the counterfeiting Ferris played the fool she was similar to counterfeit for me I was so mad pon my Liberty but now we both are well and both are free Hausa free hey there my dear bedlamite what merry a lunatic look here my dear you have counterfeited madness so very well this about that she'll be out to play the fool all your life long here gentlemen monster you were disgrace me oh my faith but I will yeah come in gentlemen a miracle a miracle the woman has dispossessed the devil's vanished enter old Mirabelle and Dugard bless us was she possessed least the worst a demon sir marriage devil a horrid devil mr. de gorge don't be surprised I promise my endeavors to cure your sister no mad doctor and Christendom could have done it more effectually to your charge and have a care she don't relax if she should employ you not again where I am no more infallible than others of the faculty I do cure sometimes your remedy most barbarous man will prove the greatest poison to my house for though my former friends he was but counterfeit I now shall run into a real madness exit old Mirabelle after what a dangerous precipice I've escaped we just know upon the brink of destruction enter to a tete oh my friend let me run into thy bosom no lark escaped from the devouring pounces of a hawk quakes with more dismal apprehension 'no matter man marriage Haggen i was just at the gallows foot the running youths about my neck the cauda wheeling from me Oh I shan't be myself this month again eat not I tell you so they're all alike Saints or Devils III there's no living here with security this house is so full of stratagem and design that I must abroad again with all my heart I will bear the company my lad I'll meet you at the plate and we'll set out for Italy tomorrow morning a match go pay my compliment to leave to my father presently and was afraid he'll stop you what pretend a command over me after a settlement of a thousand pound a year upon me no no he has passed away his authority with the conveyance the will of the living father is chiefly obeyed for the sake of the dying one dependents even a father sway secures for though the son rebels the air is yours excellent severally end of Act four act 5 of the inconstant by George Farquhar this is a librivox recording all librivox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit librivox.org act v scene 1 the street before the playhouse Mirabelle and or tete as coming from the play how did you like this play MA I like the company the lady the rich beauty in the front box had my attention these impudent posts bring the ladies together to support them and to kill everybody else the deaths upon this stage the ladies cry but now I mind us that in the audience die the parrots here should not move their pain but they should weep for those who eyes have slain now Heidi did Phyllis inspire you with all this 10 times more the Playhouse is the element of poetry because the region of beauty the ladies meetings have a more inspiring triumphant air in the boxes than anywhere else they sit commanding on their Thrones with all their subject slaves about them the best clothes best looks shining jewels sparkling eyes the treasure of the world's in a ring I could wish that my whole life long were the first night of a new play the fellow who's quite forgot this journey have you bespoke post-horses granny about three days Jake had one to discover the lady one to unfold myself they want to make me happy and that I'm yours to the World's End hatched ow the impotence to promise thy self a lady of her figure and quality in so short a time yes sir and the confident address no disagreeable person and 500 Lois died on my part 500 lowest dose you had med I tell you she's worth five thousand one of her black brilliant eyes is worth a diamond as big as a head but you have owned Jimmy that obeyed orianna's pretension to marriage you love too passionately then how can you wonder at this rate I longed for a partridge each other day of the Kings plate but do you think because I could not have it I must eat nothing answer Oriana in boys clothes with a letter is your name Mirabeau sir yes sir a letter from your uncle in Piketty gives the letter young Maribel reads the bearer is the son of a Protestant gentleman who flying for his religion left me the charge of this youth and pretty boy he's fond of some handsome service that may afford him opportunity of improvement your care of him will oblige yours has to mind to travel child it is my desire sir I should be pleased to serve a traveler in any capacity a hopeful inclination you shall along with me into Italy as my page noise without too handsome please done and some of the ladies come this way the Morse without with her train borne up by a page just at the very dear identical she then what then why does she and what then sir then to Orianna why looky Sara the first piece of service that put upon you is to follow that lady's coach and bring me word where she lives I don't know the town sir and I'm afraid of losing myself Shaw enter the Morse and page page what's become of all my people I can tell ma'am I can see no sign of your ladyship Scotch that fellow has gotten to his old pranks and fallen drunk somewhere none of the footman there not one mmmm these servants are the plague of our lives what shall I do by all my hopes fortune pimps for me now don't yet for a piece of gallantry why you won't sure won't brute let not your servants nigga let's Madame put your ladyship to any inconvenience for you can't be disappointed of an icky posh whilst mine weights below and would you honor the master so far he would be proud to pay his attendance ah to be sure sir I won't presumed to be troublesome for my habitation is a great way off very true madam and he's engaged besides madam a hackney-coach will do as well madam wrote Beast be quiet the father from home madam the more occasion you have for a guard pray madam Lord sir he seems to press sheets a decline it in dumb show nah the Devils in his impotence now he wheedled she smiles he flatters she's simplest he swears she believes he's a rogue and she's a woman in a moment without their miCoach debts wish me joy hands the lady out which you up yeah your little Picard go follow your master and he'll lead you where the sir to the Academy child tis the fashion with men of quality to teach their pages their exercises go where'd you go with him – sir that woman may do him some harm I don't like her why how now mr. page do you start up to give laws of a sudden do you pretend to rise at court and disapprove the pleasure of your betters lookee Sara if ever you would rise by a great man be sure to be with him in his death elections and as a step to your advancement follow your master immediately and make it your hope that he goes to a beg neo heavens forbid exit now would I sooner take a carton company of the hangman that it copes with that woman what a strange antipathy if I'd taken against these creatures a woman to me is a version upon a version a cheese a cat a breast of mutton the squalling of children the grinding of knives and the snuff of a Kendall scene two L'Amour says lodgings enter Mirabelle and L'Amour's to convince me sir that your service was something more than good breeding please to lay out an hour of your company upon my desire as you have already upon my necessity your desire madam has only prevented my request my hours make them yours madam eleven twelve one two three and all that belonged to those happy minutes but I must trouble you sir to dismiss your retinue because an equipage at my door at this time of night will not be consistent with my reputation by all means madam but one little boy here a page enter Orianna order my coaching servants home and do you stay she's a foolish country boy that knows nothing but innocence innocence sir I should be sorry if you made any sinister constructions of my freedom Oh madam I must not pretend to remark upon anybody's freedom having so entirely forfeited my own well sir to a convenient towards our easy correspondence but we entered into a free confidence of each other by a mutual declaration of what we are and what we think of one another now sir what are you in three words madam I am a gentleman and have 500 pounds in my pocket and your name is Mustafa now madam the inventory of your fortunes my name is Nemours my birth Noble I was married yang to a proud rude Sahlin impeaches fellow there has been spoiled the gentleman crying ruined my face till at last i took heart leapt out of a window got away to my friends sued my tyrant and recovered my fortune i leaved from fifteen to twenty to please a husband from twenty to forty I resolved to please myself and from thence upwards I'll humor the world oh my heart oh now I think on it mr. Mustafa you have got the finest ring there I could scarcely believe it right pray let me see hmm yes madam tis tis right but but but but but it was given me by my mother an old family ring madam an old-fashioned family ring aye sir if you can understand yourself for a moment I'll wait on you immediately certainly the Stars have been in a strange intriguing humor when I was born I this night should I have had a pride in my arms and that I should like well enough but what should I have tomorrow night the same and what next the same and what next night the same super breakfast super dinner soup for supper and super breakfast again but he is variety I love the fair who freely gives her heart that's mine by ties of nature not of Arts who boldly owns whatever her thoughts indict and is too modest for a hippo crate L'Amour's appears at the door she comes she comes as he runs towards her for Bravo's step in before her he starts back huh Oh bitch murdered murder to be sure the curse strumpet to make me send away my servants nobody near me these cutthroats always make sure work what should I do I have but one way are these gentlemen your relations madam yes sir gentlemen your most humble servant sir you most faithful you're so with all my heart your most obedient become gentleman salutes all around please to sit no ceremony next the lady prays sir well sir and how'd you like my friends they all sit Oh madam the most finished gentleman I was never more happy in good company in my life I suppose sir you have travelled yes sir which way may I presume in a Western barge sir very pretty facetious Prichard gentlemen hahahaha sir you have got the prettiest ring upon your finger there Oh madam such a service with all my heart offering the ring by no means sir if army ring takes it no matter madam aside 700 pound by this light praise what's a clock mm-hmm sir I have left my watch at home I thought I saw the string of Earth just now oh it's my life sir I beg your pardon oh here it is but don't go putting it up oh dear sir in English watch Tom pew in so presume do you like it madam no ceremony you see that you service with all my heart and soul aside Thompkins hanging but Sir above all things I admire the fashioned inmate of your sword hilt I'm glad you like it sir will you part with it sure sir I won't sell it no silly sir no gentlemen but I'll bestow it with all my heart offering it oh sure we shall rope you aside that you do I'll be sworn I have another at home praise gentlemen you're too modest have I anything else that you fancy so will you do me a favor to the first Bravo I am extremely in love with that hat which you bear will you do me the favor to change with me lookey sir this is a family hat and I would not part with it but if you like it they change hats aside I won't buy a handsome pretence to quarrel with him some wine sir your good health pulls Mirabelle by the nose Oh sir yeah most humble servant a pleasant frolic enough to drink a man's elven pull him by the notes how the present is pretty humour gentlemen help the gentlemen to a glass Mirabelle drinks how would you like the wine sir very good are the kind sir but I tell you what I find we're all in trying to be frolicsome dick ass for my own part I was never more disposed to be merry let's make a night on huh because the wine is pretty but I have such good Indy at home look here gentlemen let me send for half a dozen flasks of my burgundy I defy France to match it will make us all life all air prey gentlemen huh shall us have his Burgundy yes faith we are we can here call it the gentleman's servant exit footman thank you yes yes your servant is a foolish country boy sir he understands nothing but innocence hi I'm Adam here a page enter Oriana take this key and go to my better order him to send half a dozen flasks of the red burgundy marked a thousand and be sure you make haste I long to entertain my friends here my very good friends take a glass of wine your master and I have changed that sunny in a frolic where at you this pretty boy honest Mustafa Mustafa out of Picardy this is the first errand he's made for me and if he does it right I will encourage him the red burgundy sir the red mark a thousand and be sure you make haste or salsa exit sir you were pleased to like my ass have you any fancy for my coat no II sir yes served a great many honest gentlemen very faithfully the incidence of these dogs is beyond their cruelty your melancholy sir only concerned madam that I should have no servant here but this little boy here makes them confounded blunder I lay my life on I will not be disappointed in my wine for the universe he'll do well enough sir but Supper's ready will you please to eat a bit sir Oh madam I never had a better stomach in my life come then we have nothing but a plate of soup aside ah the marriage soup I could dispense with now exit handing the lady shall we dispatch him to be sure I think he knows me no tails look a man in the face after a injury therefore will murder him exeunt scene three old Mirabelle's house enter door tete my friend is forsaken me I have abandoned my mistress my time lies heavy upon my hands and my money burns he might poke it but now i thinkand my Myrmidon sat upon duty tonight I'll fairly stroll down to the guard and not away the night with my honest lieutenant a reflects the wine a story and a pipe of tobacco going off Bazaar meets him who comes there stand Haidee now she's turned to goon lookee sir I'm told you intend to travel again I designed to wait on you as far as Italy then I'll travel into Wales Wales what country is dead the land of mountains child will you never out to the wave course there's no such thing as a high road rather always in a high road because you travel all upon hills but bead as it will I'll jog along with you but we intend to sail to the East Indies east or west this all one to me I'm tight and light and the fitter for sailing but suppose we take through Germany and drink hard suppose I take through Germany and drink harder than you suppose I go to a bawdy house suppose I show you the way this woman will you go to the guard with me and smoke a pipe long the devil's in the woman suppose I hang myself there I'll leave you and a happy witness the gallows is welcome hold hold sure catches him by the arm going one word before we part let me go madam or I shall think that you're a man and perhaps may examine you stir if you dare I have steel spirits to attend me and can raise such a muster of fairies as shall punish you to death come sir stand there now and ogle me he frowns upon her now a languishing sigh he groans now run and take my fan faster he runs and takes it up no play with it handsomely I know he tears it all in pieces hold how da humors cockscomb captain spare my fan and I'll Hawaii you rude inhuman monster don't you expect to pay for this yes madam there's 12 pence for that is the price won't sir it cost a Guinea well madam you shall have the sticks again throws them to her and exit ridiculous below my concern I must follow him however to know if he can give me any news of Orianna exit scene four L'Amour says lodgings enter young Mirabelle bloody hell hands I overheard you was not I two hours ago the happy gay rejoicing Mirabelle how I flew my hopes in a Fair coming prospect of a long scene of years life courted me with all the charms of vigor youth and fortune to be torn away from all my promised Joy's it's more than death the manner to buy villains oh my Orianna this very moment might have blessed me in thy arms and my poor boy say nothing boy confusion – they come still no news of my wine gentlemen enter the four Bravo's no sir I believe your country boobie has lost himself and we can wait no longer for it true sir you're a pleasant gentleman but I suppose you understand our business sir I may go near to guess at your employments Uther hallo I presume you a physician you were Scribner and you must stock Java aside Oh cutthroat see God sir I am a broken officer oh he was cashiered at the hitter of the army for a cow so I took up the trade a murder to retrieve the reputation of my courage I am a soldier too and would serve my king but I don't like the quarrel and I have more honor than to fight in a bad cause I was bred a gentleman and have no estate but I must have my Hall and my bottle throw the prejudice of Education I am a ruffian – by the prejudice of Education I was born a butcher he's short sir if your wine had come we might have trifled a little longer come sir which sword will you fall by you mine sir drawers Oh mine drawers or Moyne drawers or mine drawers I scorn to beg my life but to be butchered of us knocking oh there's the wine this moment for my life or death enter Orianna lost forever lost where's the wine child coming up sir stamps entered or tete with his sword drawn and six of the grand Musketeers with their pieces presented the ruffians dropped their swords Oriana goes off the wine the wine the wine youth pleasure fortune days and years are now my own again how am i dear friends do not I tell you this wire would make me marry dear captain these gentlemen are the best natured facetious witty creatures that ever you knew enter la Morse is the wine calm sir oh yes madam the wine has come see they're pointing to the soldiers your ladyship has got a very fine ring upon your finger sir it is at your service Oh is it so oh dear 700 pound out welcome home again with all my heart that's my life madam you have got the finest build watch there Tom pians I presume sir you may wear it home hardened by no means just too much wrap you of all taking it from her good dear time thou art a precious thing I'm glad I have achieved e putting it up what my friends neglected all this while gentlemen your pardon my complacent stir lady now is it simple to be so out of humour at my entertainment and I so pleased with yours captain you are surprised at all this but we're in our frolics you must know there's some wine here enter servant with wine come captain this worthy gentleman self tweaks the first bravo by the nose he roars but now where where's my dear deliver my boy my charming boy I hope some of our crew below stairs have dispatched him then what safe though dispatched I'll have y'all tortured racked torn to pieces alive if you have touched my boy here Paige Paige Paige runs out yeah gentlemen be sure you secure those fellows yes sir we know you and your guard will be very civil to us take them to justice the guards carry off the Bravo's now for you madam I'm so pleased to think that I should be revenged on one woman before I die will mrs. Snapdragon which of these honorable gentlemen is so happy to call you wife sir she should have been mine tonight cuz Sam pray here at her last night sir she's very true to us all for and her old Mirabelle Dugard and bizarre Robin Robin where's Bob where's my boy what is this the lady a pretty creature in faith our key child because my son was so civil as to oblige you with a coach I'll treat you with a cart indeed I will a madam and you shall have a swinging equipage three or four thousand footmen at your heels at least no less becomes head quality monster Monster High you're all a little monstrous let me tell you enter young Mirabelle ah my dear Bob are thought safe man no no sir I am ruined the Sabre my life is lost No he came and brought us the news but where is he Oriana ha runs and embraces her my dear preserver what should i do to recompense your trust father friends gentlemen behold the youth that has relieved me from the most ignominious death command me child before you all before my late so kind indulgence stars I swear to grant whatever you ask to the same stars indulgent now to me I will appeal as to the justice of my claim I shall demand what was mine before the just performance of your contract to Orianna discovering herself oh yeah Oriana or Rihanna in this disguise I resolved to follow you abroad counterfeited that letter that brought me into your service and so by the strange turn of fate I became the instrument of your preservation few common servants would have had such Connie my love inspired me with the meaning of your message because my concern for your safety made me suspect your company moo Belle you're caught caught I scorn the thought of a musician notice my voluntary act this was no human stratagem but by my providential stars designed to show the dangers wandering youth in curse for the pursuit of an unlawful love to plunge me headlong in the snares of Vice and then to free me by the hands of virtue here on my knees I humbly beg My Fair preservers pardon my thanks are needless for myself I owe and now forever do protest me yours tall alder doll kiss me daughter no you shall kiss me first to the Morse for your the cause aunt well bazaar what say you to the captain I like to beasts well enough but I don't understand his paces so well as to venture him in a strange road but marriage is so beaten a path that you can't go wrong I is so beaten that the way is spoiled there is but one thing should make me thy husband I could marry thee today for the privilege of beating me tomorrow calm calm you may agree for all this mr. de garde are not you pleased with this so pleased that if I thought it might secure your son's affection to my sister I would double her fortune fortune has she not given me mine my life estate my all what is more her virtuous itself behold the foil pointing to LA Morse that sets this brightness off to Ariana here view the pride to Orianna and scandal of the sex what Liberty can be so tempting there till amorous as a soft virtuous amorous bondage here to Orianna the end end of act 5 end of the inconstant by George Farquhar it secretary of state who's that for heaven's sake his valet de chambre sir you must know sir that the intrigue lay folded up in his master's clothes and when he went to dust the embroidered suit the secret flew out of the right pocket of his coat in a whole swarm of your crambo songs short footed oaths and long-legged pin Derrick's impossible ah sir he has loved her all along there was Oriana in every line that he hates marriage now sir this plot will stir up his jealousy and we shall know by the strength of that how to proceed farther come sir let's about it was speed his expedition gives our king this way for expedition to the French giveaway Swift to attack or Swift to run away excellent enter young Mirabelle and bizarre passing carelessly by one another bizarre aside I wonder what she can see in this fellow – like him young Mirabelle aside I wonder what my friend can see in this girl to admire her a wild foppish extravagant array quell a light whimsical impertinent madcap whom do you mean sir whom do you mean Madame a fellow that has nothing left to reestablish him for a human creature but a prudent resolution to hang himself there is a way Madame divorced me to that resolution I'll do it with all my heart then you must marry me yogi yes sir don't think you're ill menace to me shall excuse your ill usage of my friend no by fixing a quarrel here to divert my zeal for the absent for I am resolved nay I come prepared to make you a panegyric that shall mortify your pride like any modern dedication and I'm Adam like a true modern patron shall hardly give you thanks for your trouble come sir to let you see what little foundation you have for your dears efficiency I'll take you to pieces and what piece will you choose your hard to be sure because I should get presently rid on it here courage I would give to a Hector here wit to elude playmaker here honor to an attorney here body to the physicians hand yourself to its master I had the artist dream last night of the Duchess of Burgundy we thought the furbelows of a gown were pinned up so high behind that I could not see her head for a tail and a creature don't mind me do you think so that you're humorous impertinence can divert me hello sir I'm above any pleasure that you can give but that of seeing you miserable and mark me sir my friend my injured friend shall yet be doubly happy and who shall be a husband as much as the rites of marriage and the breach of them can make you hear Mirabelle pulls out a virgil and reads to himself while she speaks reading at regina doulas quiz father a post at a mountain the similary idioms ferocity they feel it done – very true Postini fuss by a favour friend Virgil it was but a rascally trick of your hero to forsake poor pug so inhumanly I don't know what to say to him daredevil what's virtue to us sir very much madam the most apropos in the world so what should I chop upon but the very place with a perjured rogue of a lover and the forsaken lady are battling at tooth and nail come madam spend your spirits no longer we'll take an easier method I'll be Aeneas now and you should be Dido and we'll rail by book now for you madam Dido necked an austere arm or neck did that starik quondam neck monitory then it grew daily genera Dido poor Dido looking at her rudeness the France impatience hello I could almost start out even to manhood and want by the weapon as long as his to fight him upon the spot what shall I say now she rants why quibble Santi theorem yum-yum neck Maxima you know a man no the woman's purse was spirited away right right madam the very words pair feed a cradle saurons Coco's with you Matias go sir fly to your midnight revels excellent if the query isn't oh no the day they take his impudence he vexes me so I don't know whether to cry or laugh at him ha bravely perform my dear Libyan alright the tragedy of Dido and you shall act the part but you do nothing at all unless you fret your stuff into a fit or here the poor lady is stifled with vapours drops into the arms of a maids and the cruel barbarous disease full wander is in the very next line cold pious Aeneas there's authority for you sorry indeed Aeneas stood to see her in a pout but Joe himself who never thought good to stay a second bout commands him off with all his crew and leaves poor die as I leave you runs off Kodai ways for a dear mad deceitful agreeable fellow on my conscience I must excuse Oriana that lover soon his angry fare disarms who slightly pleases and whose faults are charms exit enter petit runs about to every door and knocks mr. Mirabelle sir where are you nowhere to be found enter young Mirabelle what's the matter petite most critically met ah sir the one who has followed the game so long and brought the poor haired just under his paws shouldn't let a mongrel kerchief in and run away with the push if your worship can get out of your allegories be pleased to tell me in three words what you mean plane plane sir your mistress and mine is going to be married I believe you like sir your humble servant sir going come here the petite married see you now sir tis no matter I only thought to do you a service but I shall take care how I confer my favours for the future sir I beg Ten Thousand pardons bowing low it is enough sir I come to tell you sir that Orianna is this moment to be sacrificed Marion past Redemption hmm I understand him she'll take a husband out of spite to me and then I'd have loved me she will make him a cuckold but who is the happy man Oh Lord sir I'm her ladyship's most humble servant now must I be a constant attendant my lord sir they too have my way to my lady's coucher accountants I presume sir a Spanish count sir that mr. du gard new abroad has come to Paris saw your mistress yesterday marries her today and whips her into Spain tomorrow ah is it so unless I follow my cuckold over the Pyrenees actually married within the precinct of a bee do I would be the man to lead it to church but as it happens I'll forbid the banns where is his mighty dawn have a care sir he's a rough cross-grained piece and there's no tampering with him well would you apply to mr. du gard or the lady herself something might be done for it isn't despite to you that the business is carried so hastily oh it's so sir here he comes I must be gone exit enter old Mirabelle dressed in a Spanish habit leading Orianna good my lord but nobly choice had better suited your Lordships merit my person rank and circumstance expose me as the public theme of raillery and subject me so to injurious usage my lord that I can lead no claim to any part of your regard except your pity breathes he vital air that dares presume with rude behavior to profane such excellence show me the man and you shall see how my sudden revenge shall fall upon the head of such presumption is this thing one strutting up to young Mirabelle sir good my lord if he or any he pray my Lords a gentleman's a stranger Oh your pardon sir but if you had remember sir the lady now is mine her injuries are mind therefore sir you understand me come Madame leads Orianna to the door she goes off young Mirabelle runs to his father and pulls him by the sleeve a coupe Monsieur Comte your business sir buh-bah what language is that sir Spanish milord what do you mean this sir trips up his heels a very concise quarrel truly I'll bully him three dates in your give me fair play offering to rise by all means sir takes away his sword now Senor where's that bombast look and fustian face your Township war just now strikes him the rope quarrels well very well my own son right but hold sir ah no more jesting I'm your father sir your father huh my father then by this light I could find in my heart to pay thee aside is the film merit why sure sir I hadn't freighted you out of your senses but you have sir then I'll beat them into you again offers to strike him why rogue Bob dear Bob don't you know me child downright distracted thou miracle of impudence which they'll make me believe that such a grave gentleman as my father would go masquerading that that a person of threescore and three would run about in a fool's coat to disgrace himself in family why you impudent villain do you think I will suffer such an affront to pass upon my honoured father my worthy father My dear father yes sir measured my father but once again and I'll send your soul to that grandfather this minute offering to stab him well well I am NOT your father why then sir you are the saucy hectoring Spaniard and I'll use you accordingly enter Dugard Orianna maid and petite du gard runs to young Mirabelle the rests of the old gentleman fie fie Mirabel murder your father my father what is the whole family mad give me why Sir I won't be held no nor I neither let me be gone pray offering to go my father ah you dogs face I am your father for I have borne as much for thee as your mother ever did oh then this was a trick it seems a design contrivance a stratagem oh how my bones ache your bone sirrah why yours why sir and I've been beating my own flesh and blood all this while Oh madam to Orianna I wish your ladyship joy of Union dignity here was a contrivance indeed pray sir don't insult the misfortunes of your own creating my prudence will be counted cowardice if I stand tamely now comes up between young Mirabelle and his sister well sir well sir do you take me for one of your tenants sir that you put on your landlord's face at me on what presumption sir dare you assume thus draws what's that to you sir draws help help the lady faints Oriana falls into her maids arms vapors they purse should come to herself being angry fit a dram of asafoetida of jealousy hearts horn and water if the mother burned fellows if grief ratafia they'd be straight stays or corns there's nothing like a dram of plain brandy exit hold off give me ah oh my brother would you preserve my life and danger not your own would you defend my reputation leave it to itself it is a dear vindication that purchased by the sword for there our champion proved victorious yes your honor is wounded I and your lover may be wounded that's another thing but I think you are pretty brisk again my child hi sir mind his position was only a pretence to know about the quarrel the capricious takes your sex excuses this artifice an hour's exit come mr. du gard take courage there's a way still left to fetch him again sir I'll have no plot that has any relation to Spain i scorn all artifice whatsoever my sword shall do her justice pretty justice truly suppose you run him through the body you run her through the heart at the same time and me through the head brought your sword sir we'll have plots competitor let's hear what if she pretended it to go into a nunnery and so bring him about to declare himself that I must confess has a face a face a face like an angel sir odds my life sir is the most beautiful plot in Christendom we'll about it immediately excellent end of Act three act 4 of the inconstant by George Farquhar this is a librivox recording all librivox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit librivox.org act the fourth scene one old Mirabelle's house enter old Mirabelle and Dugard the lady abbess is my relation and privy to the plot this nunnery will bring him about I warrant ye entered with it here what are you Oh mr. Mirabelle you have done fine things for your posterity and you mr. dark art may come to answer this I come to demand my friend at your hands we saw him Sir Oh restore him what do you think I have got him in my trunk or my pocket sir he's mad and you are the cause don't that can a be for I was as mad as he when I be got him mad sir what do you mean what you being said by shutting up your sister yonder to talk like a parrot through a cage or a decoy duck – blimey out of spite then I'll beat the out of spite and make a most confounded husband Oh sir I shall macchi a good husband makes a good wife at anytime I'll rattle down your China about your ears and all rattle about the city to run you in debt for more I'll tear the FIR below of your clothes and when you swim for vexation and you shan't have a penny to buy a bottle of Hearts horn and you sir shall have hearts all in abundance I'll keep as many mistresses as I have coach horses it all keep as many colors you have grooms that's sweet madam there is such a thing as divorce but sweet sir there is such a thing as alimony so divorce on and spare not exit that separate maintenance is the devil there's their refuge o my conscience one would take cuckolding from there Taurus action because the women are so handsomely rewarded for it exit enter door tete and petite and she's mighty peevish you say Oh sir she has a tongue as long as my leg and talks so credibly you would think she always spoke wheels that's an old language methinks for her philosophy but sometimes she will sit you half a day without speaking a word and talk Oracle's all the while by the wrinkles of her forehead and emotions of her eyebrows me I shall match her in philosophical Ogle's faith that's my talent I can talk best you must know when I say nothing but do you ever laugh sir laughs what she do laughing why she's a critic sir she hates a jest for fear it should please her and nothing keeps her in humor but what gives her the spleen and then for logic and all that you know I I I'm prepared I have been practicing hard words and no sense this hour to entertain her then place yourself behind this screen that you may have a view of her behavior before you begin I long to engage her lest I should forget my lesson here she comes sir I must fly exit petite and dirt at stands peeping behind the curtain enter bizarre and made bizarre with a book sure hang books they sell our temper spoil our eyes and true in our complexions throws away the book Hey the devil such a word the reason was total come wench let's be free call in the fiddle there's nobody near us which other Lord there was not he a friend a minuet music quicker time wood we had a man or to do stealing away you shall have the devil sooner my dear dancing philosopher that's my life he is one runs to do a tat and hails him back it's all my learning preparation come to this come sir don't be ashamed that's my good boy you are very welcome we wanted such a one come strike up dance I know you dance well sir you're finally shaped for it come come sir quick quick you miss the time else but madam I come to talk with you hey I talk as you dance Tarkus you dance come but we were talking of dialectics hanging dialectics music mind the time quicker Sarah come and how do you find yourself now sir in a fine breathing sweat doctor all the better patient all the better comes a signal sing I know you sing well I see you have a singing face a heavy dull sonata face oh I see oh you're modest sir but come sit down closer closer here a bottle of wine exit made and returns with wine come sir Singh sir but madam I came to talk with you Oh sir you shall drink first come Fumiya bumper here sir bless the king would I were out of his dominions by this light she'll make me drunk – oh pardon me sir you shall do me right feel it high up no sir can you drink a health under your leg rare philosophy that faith come off with it to the bottom now how do you like me sir oh mighty well madam you see how a woman's fancy varies sometimes splenetic and heavy then gained frolicsome and how do you like the human good let me sit down to answer you for I am heartily tired sorry poor Nate a young man and tired up for shame and walkabout action becomes us a little faster sir what do you think now of my lady lapel and lady Coquet the Dukes fair daughter are they not brisk lasses then there is black missus bel-air and brown mrs. spell face they are all strangers to me madam but let me tell you sir that Brown is not always despicable Oh large sir if young mrs. baggert L had kept herself single till this time of day what a beauty they had been and then you know the charming mrs. monkey love the fair gem of such a mess upon my soul I don't and then you must have heard of the English both spleen amour how unlike a gentleman Hey not a syllable Aunt as I hope to be saved madam no why then play me a jig music they come sir by this light I cannot faith Madame I have sprained my leg then sit you down sir and now tell me what's your business with me what's your errand quick quick dispatch thought so maybe you are some gentleman's servant that has brought me a letter or a haunch of venison death madam do I look like a carrier cry you mercy I saw you just now I mistook you upon my word you are one of the travelling gentlemen and pray sir how do all our impudent friends in Italy madam I came to wait on you with a more serious intention than your entertainment has answered sir your intention of waiting on me was the greatest affront imaginable however your expressions may turn it to a compliment your visit sir was intended as a prologue to a very scurvy play of which mr. Mirabal and hugh so handsomely laid the plot marry no no I am man of more honor who is your honor where's your courage now ads my life sir I have a great mind to kick you go go to your fellow Rick now ray let my sex and get drunk for vexation and write a Lampoon but I must have you to know sir that my reputation is above the scandal of a libel my virtue is sufficiently approved to those whose opinion is my interest and for the rest let them talk what they will for when I please I'll be what I please in spite of you and all mankind and so my dear man of honor if you be tired Connor over this lesson and sit there till I come to you runs off Tong dee dum ha ha ha Ed's my life I have a good mind to kick you homes and confusion starts up whatever man so abused hey Mirabelle sit me on enter petite well sir how do you find yourself yes son of a 9 hide hoard you come to abuse me I'll kick you with a vengeance she had dog petite runs off endure tete after him end of Act two act three of the inconstant by George Farquhar this is a librivox recording all librivox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit librivox.org act the third scene one old Mirabelle's house enter old and young Mirabelle meeting Bob come here there Bob your pleasure sir are not you a great rogue sir ah that's a little out of my comprehension sir so I've heard say that I resemble my father your father is you're very humble slave I tell you what child thou art a very pretty fellow and I love the heartily and a very great villain and I hate the mortally villain sir then I must be a very impudent one for I can't recollect any passage of my life that I'm ashamed of come here there my dear friend duster see this picture shows him a little picture orianna's cha what sir won't you look upon Bob dear Bob for thee come hither now dust want any money child no sir why then here's some for thee come here now how canst thou be so hard-hearted an unnatural on merrily rascal don't mistake me child I aren't angry as to abused this tender lovely good-natured dear rogue why she sighs for thee and cries for thee pouch for thee and snubs for thee the poor little heart of it is like the first mom my dear boy be good-natured like your own father be now and then see here read this the effigies of the lovely Orianna with thirty thousand pound to her portion thirty thousand pound you dog thirty thousand pound you rogue how dare you refuse a woman with thirty thousand pound you impudent rascal will hear me speak sir here use sir if you had 30,000 tongues you could not out talk 30,000 pound sir nay sir if you won't hear me I'll be gone sir I'll take poster Italy this moment ah the fellow knows I won't part with him well sir what had you to say the universal reception sir that marriage has had in the world is enough to fix it for a public good to draw everybody into the common cause but there are some constitutions like some instruments so peculiarly singular that they make terrible music by themselves but never do well in a concert why this is the reason I must confess but yet it is nonsense – for though you should reason like an angel if you argue yourself out of a good estate you talk like a fool but Sir if you bribe me into bondage with the riches of Croesus you leave me but a beggar for want of my Liberty was ever such a perverse fool heard it's a death sir why did I give you an education was it to dispute me out of my senses of what color now is the head of this cane you'll say tis white and ten to one make me believe it – I thought that young fellow studied to get money no sir I have study to despise it my reading was not to make me rich but happy sir there he has me again now but Sir did not I'm Mary to oblige you to oblige me sir and what respect pray why to bring you into the world sir wasn't that an obligation and because I would have it's still an obligation I avoid marriage how is that sir because I will not curse the hour I was born lucky friend you may persuade me out of my designs but I'll command you out of yours and though you may convince my reason that you are in the right yet there is an old attendant of 63 called positiveness which you nor all the Wits in Italy shall ever be able to shake so sir you're a wit and I'm a father you may talk but I'll be obeyed this it is to have the son fine agenting than the father they first give us breeding that they don't understand then they turn us out of doors because we are whiter than themselves but I'm a little apprehensive me in return of which I have a very great honour for you and your family and shall take care that your only and beloved son shall do nothing to make him aid his father or to hang himself so dear sir I am your very humble servant runs off here sir ah rogue Bob villain enter due guard ah sir kiss but what he deserves to his fault sir he don't deserve it what have you to say against my boy sir I shall only repeat your own words what have you to do with my words I have swallowed my words already I have eaten them up I say that Bob's an honest fellow and who dares deny it enter Bazaar that dare i sir I say that your son is a wild foppish whimsical impertinent cockscomb and where I abused as this gentleman sister is I would make it an Italian quarrel and poison the whole family come sir tis no time for trifling my sister is abused you are made sensible of the affront and your honour is concerned to see her we trust lookee mr. de garde good words go farthest I will do your sister justice but it must be after my own rate nobody must abuse my son but myself for all Doberman be a sad dog yet he's nobody's puppy but my own eye that's my sweet natured kind old gentleman wheedling we will be good then if you join with us in the plot are you coaxing young baggage what plot can you have – we do a fellow of 63 a plot that 63 is only good for to bring other people together sir you must act the Spaniard because your son will least suspect you and if he should your authority protects you from a quarrel – which Orianna is unwilling to expose her brother and what part were you act in the business madam myself sir my friend is grown a perfect changeling these foolish hearts of ours spoil our heads presently the fellows no sooner turned knaves but we turn fools but I am still myself and he may expect the most severe usage for me because I'm either love him no hate him exit well said mrs. paradox but sir who must open the matter to him p'tee sir who is our engineer general and Harry Combes enter petite Oh sir more discoveries our friends about us hey speak freely you must know sir oh what's my life I'm out of breath you must know sir you must know what the devil must be no sir then I have pants and blows bribe sir relieved your son Secretary of State Act one of the inconstant by George Farquhar this is a librivox recording all librivox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit librivox.org the inconstant a comedy in five acts by George farquar Esquire dramatis personae old Mirabelle read by Todd young Mirabelle read by Thomas Peter captained irritate read by Craig Franklin doog are read by Nemo Patti read by Eva Davis first bravo raids by our Mapstone second Bravo read by the radish Bravo three recorded by Chuck Williamson Bravo four read by Sun at the X ours Oriana red-bellied Anya Bazaar read by Sonia L'Amour's read by Rapunzel inna page read by Sandra Lady read by RIE stage directions read by Kalinda act the first scene 1 the street enter Dugard and his man petit in riding habits sera what's o'clock turn double oven sir no more we have rid a swinging pace from no more since to this morning p'tee run to Russo's and bespeak a dinner at a lui door ahead to be ready by 1:00 how many will there be of you sir let me see Maribel 1 do a tete to myself 3 and I 4 how now sir at your old traveling familiarity when abroad you had some freedom for want a better company but among my friends at Paris pray remember your distance be gone sir exit petit this fellow's wit was necessary abroad but he's too cunning for domestic I must dispose of him some way else who's here old Maribel and my sister my dearest sister enter old Mirabelle and oreonna my brother welcome miss you Maribel I'm heartily glad to see you mr. du gard by the blood of the Mirabelle's I'm your most humble servant why sir you've cast your skin sure your brisk and gay lusty health about you no sign of age but your silver hairs silver hairs then they are quick silver hairs sir whilst I have golden pockets but my hairs be silver and they will odds bud sir I can dance and sing and drink and no I can't winch but mr. to guard no news of my son Bob in all your travels your sons come home sir come home Bob come home by the blood of the Maribel's mr. du gard what say you mr. Miravalle retard sir he certainly come and you may see him within this hour – swear it mr. de garde presently swear it sir he came to town with me this morning I left him at the banya being a little disordered after writing and I shall see him again presently what and he was ashamed to ask a blessing with his boots on a nice dog well and how fares the young rogue huh a fine gentleman sir he'll be his own messenger a fine gentleman but as a rogue like me still why yes sir he's very like his mother and is like you as most modern sons are to their fathers why sir don't you think that I begat him why yes sir you married his mother and he inherits your estate he's very like you upon my word and pray brother what's become of his honest companion Durrett at who the captain the very same he went abroad he's the only Frenchman I ever knew that could not change your son mr. Maribel is more obliged to nature for that fellow's composition then for his own for he's more happy into attached folly than his own wit in short they are as inseparable as finger and thumb but the first instance in the world I believe of opposition in friendship very well will he be home to dinner think II sir he has ordered me to bespeak a dinner for us at Russo's at a lui door ahead lui door ahead well said Bob by the blood of a Mirabelle's Bob's improved but mr. de garde was it so civil of Bob to visit monterosso before his own natural father hey hark ye Orianna what think you now of a fellow that can eat and drink ye a whole Lois door and his sitting he must be as strong as Hercules life and spirit and abundance before God I don't wonder if these men of quality that their own wise can't serve them do we door ahead tis enough to stalk the whole nation with bastards tis faith mr. du gard I leave you with your sister exits well sister I need not ask you how you do your looks resolve me fair tall well shaped you're almost grown out of my remembrance why truly brother I look pretty well thank nature and my toilet I eat three meals a day I'm very merry went up and sleep soundly I'm down but sister you remember that upon my going abroad you would choose this old gentleman for your guardian he's no more related to our family then Prester John and I have no reason to think you mistrusted my management of your fortune therefore pray be so kind as to tell me without reservation the true cause of making such a choice looky brother you were going a rambling and it was proper lest I should go a rambling to that somebody should take care of me ultimate seer Mirabelle as an honest gentleman was our father's friend and has a young lady in his house he's something I like and he was chosen him for her guardian as well as I hmm Matt was el these are the same we live merrily together without scandal over perch we make much of the old gentleman between us and he takes care of us all the week we dance and sing and upon some days go fast church and then to the play now brother besides these motives for choosing this gentleman for my guardian perhaps I had some private reasons not so private as you imagined sister your love too young meta bells no secret I can assure you but so public that all your friends are ashamed aren't my words my friends are very bashful there I'm afraid sir that those people are not ashamed enough for their own crimes who have so many blushes to spare for the forts of their neighbors hey but sister the people say sure hang the people they'll talk treason and profane their maker must we therefore infer that our king is a tyrant and religion a cheat but key brother their court of inquiry is a tavern and their Informer claret they think as they drink and smell the reputations like a lush a lady's health goes briskly around to the gloss but her honor is lost in the toast hey but sister there is still something if there be something brother says none of the people something marriage is my thing and I'll stick to it marriage young Maribel marry he'll build churches sooner take heed sister though your honor stood proof to his home bred assaults you must keep a stricter guard for the future he has now got the foreign air in the Italian softness his wits improved by converse his behavior finished by observation and his assurance is confirmed by success sister I can assure you he has made his conquest and tis a plague upon your sex to be the soonest deceived by those very men that you know have been false to others but then sister he's as fickle the God's sake brother tell me no more of his faults for if you do I shall run mad for him say no more sir let me but get him into the bands of matrimony I'll spoil his wandering I warrant him I'll do his business that way he never fear well sister I won't pretend to understand the engagements between you and your lover I expect when you have need of my counsel or assistance you will let me know more of your affairs Maribel is a gentleman and as far as my honor an interest can reach you may command me to the furtherance of your happiness in the meantime sister I have a great mind to make you a present of another humble servant a fellow that I took up at Lyon who has served me honestly ever since then why will you politic him he has gained so insufferably on my good humor that he's grown too familiar but the fellows cunning and maybe serviceable to you in your affair with Maribel here he comes enter petite well sir have you been at Russo's yes sir and who should I find there but mr. Maribel and the captain Hatchin has warmly over a tub of ice as to hem pheasants over a brood they would not let me bespeak anything for they had dined before I came come sir you shall serve my sister I shall still continue kind to you and if your lady recommends your diligence upon trial I'll use my interest to advance you wait on your lady home p'tee ex a chair a chair a chair no no oh okay just buy next door excellent seen to a tavern young Mirabelle and dirt at discovered rising from table had come to Maui once more my dear captain we have ate heartily drank around Lee paid plentifully and let's go for once I liked everything but our women they look so lean and tawdry poor creatures to the shore sign army is not paid give me the plum Venetian brisk and sanguine that smiles upon me like a glowing Sun and meets my lips like sparkling wine her person shining as a glass in spirit like the foaming liquor ah Mirabelle Italy I grant you but for our women here in France they are such thin brawn fallen Jade's a man may as well make a bed fellow of a cane chair from a light and seasoned country nothing but fellows foppery in fashions there's nothing in this side Alps with my humble service G ha drama la santé Italy for my money their customs Gardens buildings paintings music policies wine and women the paradise of the world not pestered with a parcel of precise old Doughty fellows that would debar their children every pleasure that they themselves have passed the sense of commend me to the Italian familiarity here son there's fifty crowns go pay your girl her week's allowance i these are your father's for you that understand the necessities of young men not like our musty dares who because they cannot fish themselves would muddy the water and spoil the sport of them that can but now you talk of the plump what do you think of a Dutch woman Oh that woman's to compact nay everything among them is so a Dutch man is thick a Dutch woman his squab a Dutch horse is round a Dutch dog is short a Dutch ship is broad bottom and in short one would swear that the whole product of the country were cast in the same mould with their cheese's hi but Mirabelle you have forgotten the English ladies the women of England were excellent did they not take such insufferable pains to ruin what nature has made so incomparable well they would be delicate creatures indeed could they but thoroughly arrived at the French mean or entirely let it alone they only spoil a very good air of their own by an awkward imitation of ours but come detect let us mine the business and hand mistresses we must have and must take up with the manufacturer of the place and upon a competent diligence we shall find those in Paris shall match the Italians from top to toe now I'm Mirabelle you will do well enough but what will become of your friend you know I am so plaguey bashful so naturally an ass upon these occasions that ah you must be bolder man travel three years and bring home such a baby as bashfulness a great lusty fellow and a soldier fie upon it lookee sir I can visit and I can ogle a little as thus or thus now then I can kiss abundantly but if they chance to give me a forbidding look as some women you know have a devilish cast for their eyes or if they cry what do you mean what do you take before face Remember Who I am sir a person of quality to be used at this rate egad I'm struck as flat as a frying pan words of course never mind them turn you about upon your heel with a jump day ere hung out the end of an old song cut across caper and at her again georgette imitates him they'll hang it true never do opens what did my father mean by sticking me up in a university or to think that I should gain anything by my head in a nation whose genius lies all in their heels well if ever I come to have children my own they shall have the education of the country they shall learn to dance before they can walk and be taught to sing before they can speak come come throw off that childish humor put on assurance there's no avoiding it stand all-hazards doubt a stout lusty fellow and hashed a good estate look laughs Hector you have a good side box face a pretty impudent face so that's pretty well hmm this fellow went abroad like an ox this returned like an ass let me see now how I look pulls out a pocket glass and looks on it a side books face say you you get I don't like it Mirabelle Pfizer don't abuse your friends I could not wear such a face for the best counties in Christendom why can't you blockhead as well as I why thou has impotence to set a good face upon anything I would change half my gold for half thy breasts with all my heart who comes here also Mirabel your father enter old Mirabelle where's Bob dear Bob your blessings sir my blessing damn you you young rogue why did not you come to see your father first sir ah my dear boy I am heartily glad to see thee my dear child in faith captain dirt eight by the blood of the Mirabelle's I'm yours well my lads you look bravely in faith bob has got any money left not a farthing sir why then I won't get your sous I did but jest here's ten pistols why then here's ten more I love to be charitable to those that don't want it well and how do you like Italy my boys Oh God in the world's Rome Naples Venice Milan and a thousand others Oh fine I say you so and they say that GRE is very fine too indifferent sir very indifferent a very scurvy err the most unwholesome to a French Constitution in the world sure nothing on these rascally gazetteers have misinformed you misinformed me on sir where are we not beaten they're beaten sir we beaten why how was it pray suite sir there sir the captain will tell you no sir your son will tell you the captain was in the action sir yes also more than I sir for he was a macaroon confound you both for abrasive cowards here are no Germans to overhear you why don't you tell me how it was why then you must know that we marched a body of the finest bravest well-dressed fellows in the universe our commanders at the head of us all lace and feather like so many boat oh I don't believe there was a man of them but cadenza Charma yeah dance very well are you fellows in faith we cape it up to the very trenches and they saw peeping over a parcel of scarecrow all of coloured gunpowder fellows as ugly as a devil egad I should never forget the looks of them well I have breath to fetch they were so civil in need us to welcome us with a cannon but for the rest we found them such unmannerly rude and sociable dogs that we grew tired of the company so we in danced back again and did you all come back no two or three thousand of us stayed behind why Bob why cha because they could not come that night no sir because they could not come that night but come sir we were talking of something else pray how does your lovely charge the fair Oriana alright sir just ripe you'll find it better engaging with her than with the Germans let me tell you and what would you say my young Mars if I had a Venus for thee to come Bob your apartment is ready and pray let your friend – be my guest – you shall command the house between ye and all be as merry as the best of you excellent end of act 1 act 2 of the inconstant by George Farquhar this is a librivox recording all librivox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit librivox.org act ii scene 1 old Mirabelle's house oreonna and bazaar and you love this young rake do you yes in spite of all his ill usage I can't help it what's the matter with you huh before that any young lying swearing fluttering Ray Kelly fellow should play such tricks with me oh there devil take all your Cassandra's and Cleopatra's for me I warrant now you played a fool when he comes and say you love him eh I certainly I can't dissemble the soul besides to suppose that we're contracted contracted a lackaday poor thing what you have changed rings or broken an old broad piece between you I would make a fool of any fellow in friends well I must confess I do love little coquetting with all my heart my business should be to break gold with my lover one hour and crack my promise the next he should find me one day with a prayer book in my hand and with a play book another he should have my consent to buy the wedding ring and the next moment would I ask him his name Oh My dear well they're no greater tie-up on my heart then there is upon my conscience I would soon throw the contract out of doors but the mischief on tis I am so fond of being tired that I am forced to be just and the strength of my passion keeps down the inclination of my sax but he is the old gentleman enter old Mirabelle where's my wenches where's my two little girls hey have a care look to yourselves in faith there are comin the travelers are a-comin well which of you two will be my daughter-in-law now misery bazaar what say you mad cap Mirabelle is a pure wild fellow I like him the worse you'd lie hussy you like him the better indeed you do what say you my other little filbert hey I suppose gentleman would choose for himself sir why that's discreetly said and so he shall enter Mirabelle and door tete they salute the ladies Bob hark ye you shall marry one of these girls sir da sir marry them both of you please bazaar aside he'll find that one may serve his turn both why you young dog do you banter me come sir take your choice der Ted you shall have your choice too but Robin shall choose first come sir begin well which do you like both but which will you marry neither neither don't make me angry now Bob pray don't make me angry looky Sarah if I don't dance at your wedding tomorrow I shall be very glad to cry at your grave that's a bull father a ball why how now I'm grateful sir did I make the a man that thou should make me a beast your pardon sir I only meant your expression Harkey Bob learn to better manners to your father before strangers I won't be angry this time but hoons if ever you do it again you rascal remember what I say exit cha what does old fellow mean by mewing me up here with a couple of green girls come yet what do you go I heard mr. Mirabelle you had forgot no no matter man forgot I've brought you a thousand little Italian curiosities I'll assure you madam as far as a hundred pee stalls would reach I hadn't forgot the least circumstance sir you misunderstand me uh so there Alex madam from Rome I do remember now you made a vow of chastity before my departure vow of chastity or something like it was it not madam Oh sir I wanted a present exit she was coming full mouth upon me with a contract what I might dispatch each other near a mill lady there observe her she's one was pretty faith and seems to have but few words I like her mainly speak to her man pretty speak to her madam of the gentleman who declares met him don't believe him I declare nothing what the devil do you mean men he says madam the few are as beautiful as an angel he tells a damn lie madam I say no such thing are you mad Mirabelle why I should drop down with Jayma so madam not doubting but your ladyship may like him as well as he does you I think it proper to leave you together going duet holds him hold-hold why Mirabel friend sure you won't be so barbarous as to leave me alone really speak to her for yourself as he were Lord Lord that a Frenchman should want impotence you look mighty dinner madam she's deaf captain I had much rather has heard dumb the gravity of your ear madam promises some extraordinary fruits from your study which moves us with curiosity to inquire the subject of your ladyship's condom huh not a word I hope in the Lord she speechless if she be she's mine this moment Mireille do you think a woman's silence can be natural but the forms switch logicians introduced and which proceeded from simple enumeration are dubitable and proceed only upon admittance hoity-toity what a plug are we here Plato in petticoats I let it go on man she talks in my own mother tongue this exposed to invalidity from a contradictory instance looks only upon common operations and is infinite in its termination rare pedantry axioms axioms self-evident principles then the ideas were with the mind is preoccupied Oh gentlemen I hope you pardon my cogitation I was involved in a profound point of philosophy but I shall discuss it somewhere else being satisfied that the subject is not agreeable to your sparks that profess the vanity of the times exit good I weigh Good Wife bias to here does het dust here this starched piece of austerity she's mine man she's mine my own talent duty I'll measure in dialectics faith I was seven years at the University man nursed up with Barbaro cellar and dairy fairy Oh Burlington did you ever know man that post metaphysics made me an ass it was faith had she talked a word of singing dancing plays fashions all alike I had found it at the first step but as she is Mirabelle wish me joy huh you don't mean marriage I hope no no I am a man of more honor bravely resolved captain now for like credit warned me this frozen snowball will be a conquest above the Alps but will you promise to be always near me upon all occasions never fear by then you shall see me in two moments make an induction from my love to her hand from her hand to her mouth from her mouth to her heart and soak improved in her bed get the door Oh Maddie's now the game begins and my fool is entered but here comes one to spoil my sport now shall I be teased to death with his old-fashioned contract I should love her too if I might do it my own way but she'll do nothing without witnesses forsooth I wonder women can be so immodest enter Orianna well madam why do you follow me well sir what do you shun me tis my humour madam and naturally swayed by inclination have you forgot her contract sir I remember that contract is that it was made some three years ago and that's enough and conscience to forget the restaurant is sufficient sir to recollect the passing of it for in that circumstance I presume lies the force of the obligation obligations madam that are forced upon the will are NotI upon the conscience I was a slave to my passion and I passed the instrument but the recovery of my freedom makes the contract void come mr. mobile these expressions are expected in the regular ray of your humor but I've hoped for very different sentiments from your honour and generosity Nokia madam is for my generosity to such a service with all my heart I'll keep you a coach in six horses if you please only permit me to keep my honour to myself consider madam you have no such thing among a in does the main point of policy to keep no faith the reprobates though what a pretty little reprobate and so get the about thy business well sir even all this I will allow to the gaiety of your temper your travels have improved your talent of talking but they are not a force I hope to empower your morals morals oh why there tis again I telli child there is not the least occasion for morals in any business between you and I don't you know that of all commerce in the world there's no such carcinogen deceit as in the traffic between man and woman we study all our lives long how to put tricks upon one another no fowler lays abroad more nets for his game nor a hunter for his prey than YouTube to catch poor innocent men why'd you sit three or four hours at your toilet in the morning only with the villainous decide to make some poor fellow a fool before night what do you sigh for what do you weep for what do you pray for wife or a husband that is you employer Providence to assist you in the just in pious design of making the wisest of his creatures are fool and the head of the creation a slave so I am proud of my power and I'm resolved to use it hold-hold madam not so fast see a variety of vanities to make cockscombs of us so we arouse oaths and pata stations of all sorts inside is to make fools of me you and this in short my dear creature is our present condition I have sworn and light briskly to gain my ends of you your ladyship is patched and painted violently to gain your ends of me but since we are both disappointed that is make a draw in battle and part clear on both sides with all my heart sir give me up my contract and I'll never see your face again indeed I won't child what sir neither do one nor to the other no you should I made unless it pleased to be otherwise upon my terms what do you intend by this sir why to starve you into compliance lookee you shall never marry any man and shoe it as good let me do you a kindness as a stranger sir Europe what am i man a villain sir I'm glad on I never knew an honest fellow in my life but also villain upon these occasions and you drown yourself noted a pretty dilemma the poor lady has made a vow of virginity when she started making a vow to the contrary with every poor woman so cheated into chastity sir my fortune is equal to you my friends as powerful and birth shall be put to the test to do me justice what you'll force me to marry you will you sir the law shall but the law can't force me to do anything else can it sure I despise the monster kissing me friends then don't cry child and you should have your sugarplum come madam do you think I could be so unreasonable as to make you fast all your life long no I did but chest you shall have your Liberty here take your contract and give me mine no I won't yeah what is the girl for no sir you shall find me cunning enough to do my soft justice and since I must not depend upon your love I'll be revenged and force you to more others into the snare your son sir because she has deserted him he has forsaken the world and in three words has hanged himself there very same turned friar you'd lie sir just 10 times worse Bob turned friar why should the fellow shave his foolish crown when the same razor may cut his throat if you have any command o you any interest over him lose not a minute he has thrown himself into the next monastery and has ordered me to pay off his servants and discharged is equip egde lets me alone to ferret him out I'll sacrifice the abbot if it receives him I'll try whether the spiritual or the natural father has the most right to the child but dear captain what has he done with his estate settled it upon the church sir as a church nay then the devil won't get him out of their clutches ten thousand liras a year upon the church just downright sacrilege come gentlemen all hands to work for half that some one of these monasteries shall protect you a traitor from the law a rebellious wife from her husband and a disobedient son from his own father exit will ye persuade me that he's gone to a monastery is your sister gone to the Phillies repent 'yes I tell you sir she's not fit for the Society of repenting maids why so sir because she's neither one nor t'other she's too old to be a maid and too young to repent exit du gard after him seen to the inside of a monastery enter Orianna in a nun's habit and bizarre a herpes oh there is no harm in Justin with his religious habit to me the greatest jest in the habit is taking it in earnest brown bra consult me thanks to the mortification of an honoree because I fancy the habit becomes me aware contrived mortification truly that makes a woman look ten times handsomer than she did before hi my dear were there any religion in becoming dress our sexist devotion were rightly placed for our toilets would do the work of the altar we should all be canonized but don't you think there is a great deal of merit in dedicating a beautiful face and parson to the service of religion not have so much as devoting them to a pretty fellow come come mind your business Mirabel loves you tis now plain and hold him to it give fresh orders that he shan't see you we get more by hiding our faces sometimes that by exposing them a very mask you wets desire but a pair of keen eyes through an iron great fire double upon them with view and disguise but I must be gone upon my affairs I have brought my captain about again as why will he trouble yourself with a coxcomb because he is a coxcomb had i not better have a lover like him that I can make an ass of then a lover like yours to make a fool of me knocking below a message from Mirabal I lay my life she runs to the door come hither run though charming nun come hither what's the news runs to her don't you see who's below I see nobody but a friar odd I'll pour blind Cupid a friar don't you see a villainous genteel mean under that cloak of hypocrisy as I live Mirabel turned friar I hope in heaven he's not in earnest in earnest are you in earnest remember what I say if he would yield to advantage and hold out the attack to draw him on keep him off to be sure the cunning gamesters never gain too fast but lose at first to wind more at last exit enter young Mirabelle in a friars habit save your sister your brother young lady having a regard for your shows health has sent me to prepare you for the secret habits by a confession my brother's care I own and to you sacred sir I confess that the great crying sin would I have long indulged and now prepared to expiate was love by morning thoughts my evening prayers my daily musings nightly cares was love she's done right stuck mad and earnest death and confusion I have lost her you confess your faults met him in such moving terms that I could almost be in love with the sin take care sir crimes like virtues are their own rewards my teeth delight to became my only grief he and whose breast I thought to my heart secure turned a robber and he spoiled the treasure that he kept perhaps that treasure he esteemed so much that like the miser no afraid to use it he reserves it safe no Holy Father who can be Mars in another's wealth that's protocol of his own his heart was open sheds all he knew and what alas must then become a mine but the same eyes that drew this passion in shall send it out in tears too it's now here my vow young Mirabelle discovering himself no my fairy angel here on my knees behold the criminal that vows sentences Neels ha no concern upon her enter old Mirabelle where where's this counterfeit nun madness confusion I'm ruined what do I hear puts on his hood what did you say sir I say she's a counterfeit and you may be another for aught I know sir I have lost my child by these tricks sir what tricks her by a pretended trick sir a contrivance to bring my son to reason and it has made him stark mad I have lost him and a thousand pound a year young Mirabelle discovering himself My dear father how your most humble servant my dear boy runs and kisses him welcome Xing Ferris My dear boy it is all the trick she's no more undone than I am no the devil bit then kiss me again my dear dad for the most happy news and now most venerable holy sister kneels your mercy and your pardon I implore for the offence of asking it before lookey mightier counterfeiting nun take my advice be a nun and good earnest women make the best nuns always when they can do otherwise Oh sir how and happily have you destroyed what was so near perfection he is the counterfeit that has deceived you huh look he's sir I recant she is a nun sir your humble servant did I on the friar this moment was ever a tall fool so battered by a brace of young ones hang you both you're both counterfeit and my plot spoiled that's all shame and confusion love anger and disappointment will work my brain to madness takes off her habit exit I throw by the rags they have served a turn for us both and they shall even go off together takes off his habit exit throwing away the habit seen three old Mirabelle's house entered or tete with a letter reads my rootless was only a proof of your humor which i have found so agreeable that I own myself patent and willing to make any reparation upon your first appearance too bizarre Mirabelle swear she loves me and this confirms it then farewell gallantry and welcome revenge it is my turn now to be upon the sublime I'll take her off I warrant her and her bizarre well mistress do you love me I hope so he will pardon the modesty of of what of a dancing devil do you love me I say perhaps I what perhaps I do not ah abused again yet woman I know hold-hold sir I do do confirm it then by your obedience stand there and all go mean now as if your heart blood and soul would like to fly out at your eyes first the direct surprise she looks full upon him right NYX that they do your part or bleak she gives him the side glance right now depart and languish she turns from him and looks over her shoulder very well now sigh she sighs now drop your fan on purpose she drops her fan now take it up again come now confess your faults are not you a proud say after me proud in pertinent impertinent ridiculous ridiculous flirt poppy zooms woman don't provoke me we are alone and you don't know but the devil may tip me to do you a mischief ask my partner immediately I do sir I only mistook the word cry then have you got a handkerchief yes sir cry then handsome me cry like a queen in a tragedy enter two ladies laughing yeah hell broke loose upon me and all the Furies fluttered about my ears betrayed again that you are upon my word my dear captain the Lord deliver me what is this the mighty man with the bull face that comes to frighten ladies ah madam I'm the best natured fellow in the world a man who a mistaken and man has Menace the awkward creature is some tinker stroll in a Perry wig come ladies let us examine him they lay hold on him examine the devil you will I lay my life some great theory made in man's clothes they will do it looky dear Christian women pre hear me will you ever attempt a lady's honor again if you please to let me get away with my honor I'll do anything in the world will you persuade your friend to marry mine oh yes to be sure and will you do the same by me good me if I do it the coast be clear runs out to visit ladies was critical for our diversions we'll go make an end of our tea excellent enter young Mirabelle and old Mirabelle your patience sir I tell you I won't marry and though you send all the bishops in France to persuade me I shall never believe their doctrine against their practice you would compel me to that state which I have heard you curse yourself when my mother knew have battled it for week together never but once you rogue and that was when she longed for six flanders mares hi sir then she was breeding of you which showed what an expensive dog I should have of you and your petite well petted how is she now mad sir calm pompous no I'm mr. Mirabelle you'll believe that I speak truth now when I confess I have told you Heather – nothing but lies darn testing has come to a sad earnest she's downright Asst director enter bazaar where is this mighty Victor the great exploit is done Oh sir – the old gentleman your wretched Ward has found a tender guardian of you were a young innocence expected protection here has she found her ruin I the fault is mine for I believe that rogue won't marry for fear of begetting such another disobedient son as his father did I have done all I can Madame and now can do no more than run mad for company cries enter to guard with his sword drawn away revenge revenge patience patience sir old Mirabel holds him Bob draw patience the coward's virtue and the Braves man failing when thus provoked villain your sisters frenzy shall excuse your madness and to show my concern for what she suffers I'll bear the villain from her brother put up your anger with your sword I have a heart like yours that swells it in a front received but melts at an injury given and if the lovely orianna's grief be such a moving scene who will find a part within this breast passes tenderizer brothers to prove that soft compassion for her grief endeavor to remove it there there behold an object that's infective I cannot view her but I am as mad as she enter Orianna held by two maids who put her in a chair a sister that might dying parents left with their last words and blessing to my care goes to her sister dear sister hi poor child poor child do you know me you you are birdie to go sir oh oh my heart but you never in love fair lady and do you have a dream of flowers and gardens I dream of walking fires and tall gigantic sights take heed it comes out what's that pray stand away I have seen that face sure how lights my head is what piercing charm says beauty even in madness I cannot for I must be up to go to church and I must dress me put on my new gown and be so fine to meet my love hey oh well not you Tommy where my heart lies buried my very sores touched your hand My Fair how soft and gentle you feel I'll tell you your fortune friend she stares upon me you have a flattering face but is a fine one I warrant you have five hundred mistress's eyes to be sure a mistress for every Guinea in his pocket will you pray for me I shall die tomorrow and will you ring my passing Bell do you know me injured creature no but you shall be my intimate acquaintance in the grave weeps Oh tears I must believe you sure there's a kind of sympathy and madness for even I hugged her as I am to feel my soul so toss the storms of passion that then I could cry for help as well as he wipes his eyes what have you lost your lover no you mock me I'll go home and pray stay my fear innocence and hear me oh my love so loud that I make all your senses to the place restore them to their charming happy functions and reinstate myself into your favor theater alone sir tis all too late she trembles hold her her fits grow stronger by her talking don't trouble her she don't know you sir not know him what then she loves to see him for all that entered to a tete where are you what the devil melancholy and I hear he said and such a ridiculous up

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