Season 11, Episode 14 – Reconciliation | Red vs. Blue



Donut: Pretty neat, huh Doc: So, who uses this? Donut: Mainly just Simmons and Caboose Oh wait, it looks like Sarge has a profile now. Like! Doc: And you just…talk about yourself? Donut: You can post pictures and stuff too. I've been downloading this picture of Freckles for a while Doc: How long's that been going for? Donut: Oh, just a few hours Doc: You spent hours of our limited energy just downloading a single picture? Donut: It is a very high quality picture Doc: Well, you can't argue with that. So, is this all you did while we were out last night? Donut: Nope! I cleaned this base from top to bottom. It was the least I could do to make it look more presentable I did the dishes, swept sand off the floor… Doc: Wow. Did you clean Grif's room? Donut: Grif has a room? Doc: Well he and Simmons share that side of the base. But Grif's stuff kind of overflowed onto the roof Donut: Wooo, let me take a peek! Doc: Oh my gosh! If this post gets over 10 000 likes, Basebook will pay for a rescue team to come save us! (Donut makes a happyish sounding noise of exclamation) Doc: I know, it sounds too good to be true Donut: Dexter Grif! Grif: Huh? Donut: I can't live in this base with the way you've been treating it The layout is all wrong! The colour palette is atrocious! And the garden doesn't even have flowers in it – just vegetables! Also, I think someone tried to plant candy corn at some point Grif: (cough) I wonder who did that? Doc: How's the testing going? Grif: Well, Doc, after countless experiments, I have determined that the teleportation cubes are still FUCKING AWESOME All other data has been inconclusive Doc: Grif, I really think we shouldn't be messing with these – they could be dangerous! We can't keep just throwing them around all willy-nilly Donut: Gimme that! Grif: Hey! (cube noise) Grif: My stuff! Doc: Nice arm Donut: There. If you're not responsible enough to clean your room, then you can just say goodbye to everything that was in it Grif: Oh man (beep) Simmons: Hey! Somebody liked my post. Heh – things are sure looking up for Private Simmons What the- (cube noise) Simmons: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Wash: What are you doing? Tucker: I'm fixing the radio Wash: By beating it with the butt of your rifle? Tucker: It worked for you Wash: But that was- Tucker: You know what? Why don't you just come over here and do it yourself? Wash: Try connecting the antenna port to the amp Tucker: What? Wash: If you increase the input voltage, that will just fry the radio, but if you were to transmit through and amp- Tucker: All I hear are words that would get me beat up in high school Wash: Tucker, I'm being serious Tucker: Oh my God. Stop the fucking presses. Agent Washington is being serious Wash: If you just listen to me, you could do this! Tucker: Well I don't want to do this – you ever think of that? All I want to do is stand around and talk to my friend, but he's gone now and all I've got is you! Wash: What? Tucker: It's fucking bullshit Wash: (sigh) Wash: Did you know I was one of the worst freelancers in my squad? There was Agent York, our security specialist, Agent North, the sharp shooter Carolina was an expert in martial arts and Tex was…well, you know Tex Tucker: Cool story, bro Wash: I was known for getting a grappling hook stuck to my balls Tucker: Ok, where are you going with this? Wash: Church was your leader for years. You guys knew each other inside and out Tucker: Dude, don't phrase it like that Wash: But I'm new to all of this. I've never really had to lead anybody before But when Church and Carolina disappeared, I didn't have a choice I had to try Tucker: Well, there's your problem You tried too hard, man. I mean – Church wasn't the best leader ever. But he never made us run laps or do push ups or anything He just took the blame whenever shit went wrong That was pretty much it Wash: Well…we're shipwrecked, low on food and have to do whatever Caboose tells us or we'll be killed by a robot Tucker: Sounds like you really fucked up Wash: Yeah…kind of looks that way Tucker: But, I guess, you weren't really our leader when the ship crashed – so you don't have to take the blame for that one Wash: Whoops. Sorry – knocked a cable out of the wall. Hope that wasn't important (alarm) Wash: Heh. I'll take some of the blame Tucker: Whatever Wash: So, are you going to fix this radio or not? Tucker: Well, when I started the radio was working, but the signal wasn't strong enough and now it's just…not working Wash: Sounds like you really fucked up Tucker: Don't be a dick Wash: You're a capable soldier, Tucker At least compared to your usual aquaintances You just need to…try Tucker: Oh Wash: What (click) Tucker: It was just turned off Caboose: Attention Blue Team (echos) Wash: Uhh, yes Captain? Caboose: Um…yeah I know we all said that we wanted to fix the radio and that was really important…to fix the radio and the tower and all that is really important… Wash: We'll probably die if it's not repaired Caboose: But…um I really need you guys to go back to Blue base and kinda…clean up Tucker: Clean up what? Caboose: Garbage and robot parts and gross socks all over and uh Simmons… Yeah um Simmons actually won't stop rocking back and forth in the corner and it's kind of um…kind of freaking me out Wash: And you're sure you mean Blue base? Freckles: Do not question your commanding officer Wash: Ok, ok We'll be there in a few minutes Caboose: Assistant captain best friend Freckles initiate piggy-back sequence! Tucker: You realise we're all going to die because of him? Wash: Tucker, I need you to head back to base and do what you can, I'm going up to the ship Tucker: You're leaving me again?! What the fuck do you need to go to the ship for? Wash: I found something. I just need you to buy me some time Tucker: Why? What're you gonna do? Wash: Hopefully… I'm going to put a stop to this Locus: You four, with me We're going hunting Grif: What's up, forever alone? So, uh, you wanna do something with your life or you just wanna sit around on your ass all day like a loser? Yeah! Me too! So, er, just subscribe and keep watching youtube. It's way easier

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