SWALLOWED WHOLE | Attack On Titan: Wings Of Freedom #2


*Wha-psh!* TOP O’ THE MORNIN’ TO YA LADDIES! My name is jacksepticeye, and welcome back to ‘Attack on Titan!’ The Titan kicked in a hole in the wall… and all these mad bastards are gettin’ ready to go and kill everything els- Wait, can I actually go down there and kill them? I have no idea. That’d be really fun though… But I think I have to go over here and talk to these people. Hello! Whadda- what do you want? [Reading Thomas’s dialogue in overexaggerated Japanese] Oh wait, that sounds incredibly racist. Sorry. [laughs] Jesus I don’t mean to do that! [Reads the dialogue in English] He’s the guy in the abriged series, he’s like *imitates* “Are you being sarcastic?” [More dialogue reading] Oh Eren, stop being such a fuckin’ Drama Queen… Is that Mikasa? No. Uh…. So I don’t know who I’m going to talk to- Okay. I need to upgrade some shit, maybe? Could you be any slower at getting ready? HEEEEEY! [As Keith] HOW ABOUT YOU SHUT YOUR NOISE HOLE!! HUH!? [As Jack] Fuckin’ talking to me like that… Okay I didn’t get- Oh, I got one of these, yeah. I didn’t get one of these last time. Maybe, can I afford it now? Gas pressure, gas capacity… Blades- Okay. Gas capacity I think, I need more than anything else. Buy this? Oh yes indeedy! I will sirree-bob. Omni-Directional Mobility Ge- Oh no. Uh, Equipment Modification- Okay, blades Can I… can I do anything to these? Upgra- Equipment Upgrade. Can I? Ohhhh! Okay, so… You equip the materials, and then- Er, you equip the blades, then you get the materials from the titans, or… Finishing a level really well. And then… “Low-Quality Rare Metal” I got one of those for – or maybe I got three of them, actually – for getting an S rank on the last level. And then you can get Sharpness Up and Durability Up. Ahhm… What can I get here? Gas Capacity and Gas Pressure… It costs $1,050 to do, though. So, I can only upgrade one IF I want to upgrade one. Which I DON’T THINK I want to do right now. I think I’ll be okay for right now I’ll get a bit more money. Um Cash in. Blades Oh! I can… I can send in my training blade Ohhh cool! I’m trading Scabbard and Training Gear Oookay. Awesome. So that gave meee… Forty, forty and fifty. Niiiice! and now- [Reads dialogue] Got it! Sure thing, solider! Get ready. Chop, chop! Uh, acquisition. Iron, bamboo fragment. Uh, d-..kay what am I doin’ here? Is this me buying them? Cost. Yeah. So, I have six held and I can get… Okay. So, if I want to upgrade my stuff and I don’t have the materials then I can just come in here. Iceburst Stone Fragment. Um… No. I don’t- I don’t wanna buy anything. I don’t wanna buy anything just yet. I-I think I’m okay. Who am I going to talk to? Somebody over here. Hello! [imitates Japanese] [Dialogue] YES SIR! [Reads GM’s Dialogue] Got it!! Um… Can I please, like, fly through the city? With my Omni-directional Gear? That would be really fuckin’ cool. If like… Okay… get from point A to point B… can I get- Do like some races or something? That would be really fun cause the other– like, fan games that I was doing it was all about gettin’ your speed up but this… It’s like…okay I’ll compare it this way If you’ve played Spider-Man 2 on the PS2– Best Spider-Man game ever made. Best- One of the best superhero games ever made I was going to say that, but some of the Batman Arkham games are pretty fuckin’ good as well. Imagine the swinging in that where it was like– Okay you have to hold a button but you actually had to be near the buildings. And then you…you could use- you could actually use physics and you could use your own n- wherewithall to whip around corners pretty quick! That’s what the– the, like, Attack on Titan fan game is like that. The Feng Li? Is that what it is? The fan game that you can play in browser. That’s what that’s like. This is like the Amazing Spider-Man that came out… er… Actually I’d compare it to like Spider-Man: Web of Shadows. If you’ve played any of those games you know what it’s like! That’s what the swinging and the pulling is like in this You just hold a button and it does it all for you and it makes you look cool, but there’s little things here and there that you can do to, kinda like, speed it up. I dunno they probably make snuff up again. This guy ALWAYS freaked me out. [Reading – and impersonating – Kitz’s dialogue] Oookay. I’m with Jean, and… Got it!! Hai! So, we gotta… we gotta mop up the Titans in the town. [Reading more dialogue] Hai! I can do this! Kitz, got it. [More dialogue] Jean wants to get away from everything. [Reading dialogue] Teh-haha! She says she’ll hold them back… …because she wants to be with Eren. but really she’d actually just accel- them because she’s like the best… she’s the best fighter since Levi! Oookay, you guys are talking a lot of shit. We’re just gonna move it on so I can kill some Titans! Armin! Yosh! Yeah! Oookay… Got it! Don’t worry bro, we’re on it. Igsah!!! Hoh! Oh man, do I not get to actually fight any of them- Is it just going to be a cutscene? Oh that’s so cool! It’s like Spider-Man without being Spider-Man! I want it! [Slightly insane Laughter] Yeah baby!! That’s fucking awesome! Sick! Head to Armin Got it, hi! What are we doing? Join up with Armin and work with them… Ok, how do I do that? Ohhh Ohhhh, ok You may have up to four team members following you at a time when you exceed this number You can use to switch between them Awww, sick! Aww awesome! So I can actually recruit my own Teammates There’s, there’s C ranks! Everywhere! Um, hello can you be better?! Smoke signal spotted! hoi! [More Japanese] I dont know what I’m sayin’! [Reading the text box] I like this! I thought the game was just going to be just, like Ok, watch cutscene, kill Titan, watch cutscene But the fact that I can actually go around the tine– town a little bit! And I have side missions and all that That’s cool! I wanna do these things! Um, who is back up here? A distress call… Yeah, I got it! Hello! [Imitates game dialogue] Ok so I can have four… So I can get like another one Right? Oh god, I’m going miles away Hupp ahh yush! Hello! NICE! Lets head out, team! It’s time to fuck shit up! [Sings the AoT Intro] [Even More Singing] What is it Jath?! Ohhhhh shit balls ECH! KESUKE! Nice…. Complete Subjugation is about to happen to this bitch! It’s cool watching all your friends fly around as well! Nice! Now do it! Do it bro! Yatta! Heh heh heh… Eat dirt bitch! Wait is that all the distress signal was? “Sorry, we’re joining this fight.” New smoke fields…signals found on the battlefield IS HE DEAD?! Or she….I don’t know [Reading dialogue] Approaching it and pressing B…AW NO! Sorry bro… You is dead! Whoooo whooo! HEEE YUSH! Did we kill it?! Superior Subjugation! Nice! who has, Who has items? Can I have? Can I has? Tasukete! Ok, cool, I need to replenish my gas My gas goes out pretty quick I need to fuckin’– Need to increase that after a while Yesssshussssh! Huh! KOIU! Chop his legs! Nice! Awww, ‘kay, I didn’t– I didn’t get it. I didn’t get it, It was out of the way I like that too! That the body parts actually get in the way of each other So you have to be clever about it! I’m wasting a lot of my gas getting around! But speed is key!! Ok I had it but you fuckin’ annoyed me with it! Ahh yea! Complete Subjugation! NICE! I like doing Complete Subjugations because I think, I get like, extra items for it. Is everybody focused?! Everybody attack the same titan please! Nice!! GET IT DUDES! GET IN THERE! SLICE AND DICE! Fuck it up! I’m outta gas already! HUEGH! Oh shit.. I can just stick to it! Ahhh HYA! NICEE!! I didn’t get super speed, because I don’t have gas I need to replenish my blades as well Ge- get new blades! AWESOME! Ok cool – there’s more shit going on over here Yass But I kinda wanna kill all the titans… This is what the game is about after all Now that I’m actually in the city and I’m do’in semi open-world shit? AAH GAUUD what is happening, JESUUS CHRIIST Okay that was only a small titan So you only have to do- OH YES! Hello! Would you like to DIE FOR ME?>:(

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