[Music plays] Spontaneous Talks with Mooji Monte Sahaja
June 19 2013 The FAST Way to Freedom [Music fades] [Mooji:] So, playfully, what we were saying, I’ve started this juice diet now, and I intend to keep it going for a while. And it was asked, ‘Oh, yes, we’d love to fast with you.’ Some people said like that, ‘We’d love to fast with you.’ But amongst them are even some skinny people, and I thought, Why? You don’t have to fast with me. Or I will give you a certain kind of fast or something; different kind of fast. I need this type of fasting for my body but maybe, maybe you can fast from your vasana for a month.
[Chuckling from the group] You see? And so, what I thought about is like, for instance… Also, one very good thing that most people could do, is, instead of saying things like, ‘I’m so agitated today,’ or whatever,
whatever people say like this. But more, change the way that you… Even just the language of saying, ‘I am agitated,’ to, ‘Some agitation is coming up in me,’ there’s very big difference, actually. Because the ‘I Am’, itself, The ‘I Am’, itself, is consciousness, actually. And is not a person. the conditioning that we absorb, when the consciousness is identified with the body and conditioning, then it believes itself, to be just merely a person. And so, thereafter, all its interactions with other persons, or become other person, or personal, and this is already a severe limitation and a distortion of what the truth is, you see. And because everybody now do it; internationally, we all speak, you know, ‘I am so sick. I am so tired. I am this,’ and so on. And it seems innocent enough because nobody challenges you to say things like that. But I feel, that when you say, ‘I am agitated,’ the ‘I Am’ is never agitated. But when you send this message,
‘I am agitated,’ inside, it creates some disturbance because then, you have, somehow, limited your space. The natural space of Being gets contaminated with this feeling, ‘I am is agitated,’ because that’s what it means, in fact. ‘I am’ is agitated, but it is not agitated. The sense of agitation is like waves or something that may come inside; or, ‘I’m sick,’ or, ‘I’m so sick of this,’ and so on. It is so glibly or casually used. So, if there was something to fast on,
it would be to that. Say for the next, for the next, say, even try it for one week. Whenever you find that, that natural response comes, like you know, ‘I am…’ you know, in the expressions I’ve just used are examples, ‘I don’t like. I don’t.’ Yeah. To, really, stop for a moment, and reflect and say,
‘Is that true?’ The ‘I’, it’s not the ‘I’, the true ‘I’ doesn’t want. It’s because of this habit of feeling, ‘I am – I am agitated.’ Why something has to push it back into the person and make it be the person who says, ‘I am agitated.’ Because the ‘I Am’ cannot be agitated. It is the witness of the sense of agitation but itself, is beyond all those: the effects of the play of interrelated opposites. So, if you could do that and be aware of this, and find a new way of expressing that,
if it needs to be expressed, at all. You see? ‘I am so tired of this.’ No, this tiredness is now arising, so, it’s not the ‘I Am’ that is tired. And that, really, makes a change. It’s not just a sort of semantics play but it, really, is the way in which we… you, somehow, bring a kind of claustrophobia
into your Being by doing that. So this is just something arising for the moment. It will come and go; I will still be here. So, I cannot be agitated. Sometimes it may seem,
‘But it’s such a small thing to make a change about.’ It’s an enormous thing! It’s an enormous thing to be making a mistake about, because everyday, almost behind every expression that we seem to think that we do, or think, or act in some way, the seat of it, is the feeling ‘I’. You try and think of anything
that you want to say without ‘I’, and you will see how often your ‘I’ is involved in the statements you make, and the things that you do,
and reports that you make. And when you say ‘I’, it is indicative of consciousness,
not of person, actually. You see? And even when you are speaking with people
who are not so familiar with this type of talk, I don’t think they will find it so… it might be quite illuminating for them, also. If people say, ‘Oh, you look very tired.’ He says, ‘No, I’m not tired. I mean, some tiredness come and go, you know. It’s not what I am.’
[Soft chuckle from the group] They can kind of, ‘Hmmm? [Laughter]
Okay.’ If they are bit sort of like, switched on, they will say, ‘Hey, you know what? I never thought of it like that.’ But it leaves some lot more free space. If I say, I am that, you know. You see, it’s like somebody telling you, ‘You are that.’ You don’t like it when someone says, ‘You are that,’ but you yourself say, ‘I am that.’ So, if there can be a consciousness about that, you know, you feel that the reflex and the conditioning is just to say this. But then, something now would stop you a little bit, and you check-in again and
just say, ‘This is not really true. This is just a visitor. It comes and goes,
and it is watched inside my own Awareness-Self.’ [Friend 1:] Maybe we can allow each other
to just to remind each other if some… [Mooji:] Yes, it changes the inner climate and orientation so much. And then, I would like you to report in a week if it makes any difference to you. [Friend:] Start with…
[M:] That would be a good fasting. [M:] That would be a good fasting. But I did think, at one point, if each one was honest enough to come and say, ‘Listen, this is my vasana, actually, it’s that…,’ and name it. And then, I say, Okay, I put you down. I put you down for two weeks, okay? Starting from… [Friend 2:] I think others see other people’s vasana more clearly.
[Laughter] [M:] Well, this is true, this is true, this is true. [Friend 2:] And we could get a list from everybody else.
[More laughter] [Friend 2:] And you choose the top ten, Mooji. [Continuous laughter] [M:] It is said that, ‘The ego cannot smell its own breath.’
[Chuckling from the group] But one who is, somehow, free from egoic concern or self-defense easily detects what is not
in service to the truth, much more. Because, obviously, if you identify, ‘I am this thing,’ then there’s a kind of vulnerability there, and you will shelter it. We will defend it. Because you have included it in your kingdom, it becomes part of your house. But when you see,
‘But this is still appearing and it’s not… It’s not really welcomed here. Why should I be sheltering the devil?’ [Friend 3:] Mooji.
[M:] Yeah? [Friend 3:] Can I just say what mine is, at the moment, so everybody can help me stop, at least for one week? [Friend 3:] Fasting from complaining and fault-finding.
[Mooji:] Yes. [M:] This is very good, from complaining or finding fault. This is like the vasana that has been just expressed. Very common one. So, you know, as from this day, for a week, you’ll be bringing more light, more self-awareness to that. And, of course, why is it a vasana? Because it is a challenge to overcome it; because a tendency seems to be established, and more or less, we just put up with it or we carry on with that. So like this, I think it’s very good,
a very honorable thing, and there’s a great power in exposing things that we seem to feel insecure about, and bring it into the light of openness. And, we can, yeah, put you down for a week. [Laughter] It’s good that we can expose these things and bring some mindfulness to this, and it’s going to make a huge difference. The first one I spoke about, I think it’s very, very good. To watch this feeling of the ‘I’, or how quickly we combine ‘I’, which is the sort of witnessing consciousness, to an activity, a self-label, and make it personal, which it is not, doing that. And, also, to bring up and to admit, ‘Yeah, I’m having trouble with this thing. And I keep doing this and I see, you know, the ‘I’ who keeps doing this, again goes back to the first one.’
[Friends:] Yeah. You know. ‘This tendency keeps arising in me, and something, you know, something goes for it, a sort of identity. You know, what I am gets lost in that, then I’m confused, you know.’ Even to speak this language which is more authentic, more true, that, ‘I’m the witness of this,’ feels like,
‘That’s an effort.’ Because it’s more easy just to say, ‘But I did it, man!’
[Chuckling from the group] You see? So, you can keep on, and this is how we carry on, somehow, all of this, or how these habits, they carry on. So, it is a bit of an exercise;
it takes a little effort in the beginning but it bears very sweet fruits and immediately, also. You’re feeling the kind of spaciousness, like you’re not left with a heavy sense of guilt,
or something. ‘Oh, I did this thing bad again.’ But that, this tendency comes up, and something seems to identify with it. And then, it feels like, it’s like, ‘Ah, so heavy.’ [Friend 4:] Moojiji, I feel what I see is that there is some tendency to… I don’t know how to call it, like put out fires, like something is uncomfortable with maybe not being seen right, or it perceives itself not being perceived right, or if something is going on, like to always kind of… Let’s say, there is an argument, and to always say, ‘Okay, he didn’t mean it,
or she didn’t mean it, and this…’ [M:] To try and pacify prematurely.
[Friend 4:] To pacify things, [Friend 4:] and I just feel like there is so much space that, somehow, after that happens, I see that it doesn’t happen like it’s… it’s something, something is…
something feels smelly about it. Like, really, it’s not true with that,
like it’s just automatic, instead of conscious, or something like this. It has to do with this idea of how you perceive people, and the ideas of the mind, of how it is perceived. [M:] And sometimes, that can also do,
have something to do with… [M:] that something feels unbearable for you.
[Friend 4:] Hmm. [Mooji:] To let something burn itself out, exhaust itself. It feels like, you know, ‘Oh, that’s just too painful to watch,’ or something like that. And… It used to be more, so I could… As you speak like this, to speak for myself, I also grew up, very much, you know, to see, like someone who is doing something wrong being caught and cornered was like, Oh, my God! So painful, you know. Because they’re really gonna get it now,
they’re gonna get cooked. You see? Because something has been exposed, something is not true, and they’re being confronted about it; and it’s not apologetically. It’s like, you know, You’ve got no… because, then, I noticed that I was… in order to save the discomfort, then, I would give them the benefit of the doubt – which you don’t, really. You see? You sort of let them off. Say, Okay. They say, ‘Yeah,
but I didn’t really mean to…’ Okay, well next time, just be careful. But, really, you wanna say, ‘You little rat, you did it!’
[Laughter] You know, but you couldn’t get yourself
to say something like that. So when I saw that, that was really being expressed, then, something used to be, really, there’s a feeling of, No, oh! Like, painful to watch someone being caught and that they had no excuse. They could not, you know, like, they had no place to hide, like this. So, gradually something opened up to that, and said, You know, but it’s a good thing to be caught where you run out of excuses. Your excuse don’t, you know, don’t work. You know, somebody caught you
with your hand in the till, and you’re just saying,
‘Well, I was just doing my nail polish.
[Laughter] And it just opened, it was…’ And you say, ‘No, you were stealing something!’ – ‘No! How could you say that?’
– ‘No, no, but you are!’ [Soft laughter] To see that clear light of honesty, and someone being caught, that was sort of like, so painful, you see? So, that is something that I felt, when I heard you, that to have it expose something, expose something. Sometimes you just have to let something burn itself out. That what you imagine it’s going to be like, unbearable, turns out to be, actually, it turned out good in the end because the person needed to be caught, in order to put a stop to that type of activity or something. You know, so sometimes, to let it play out is very good. So if you want to fast with me,
[Soft laughter] you can take up a kind of fast like that, and we can write it down. Write it down: the date and when you check-in again and what have you noticed since, give some feedback. [Friend 5:] How much weight loss have you lost?
[Soft laughter] [M:] Yeah, how much, how much…Yeah.
[Friend 5:] How many kilos have you lost? [M:] How many kilos of egoic concepts? [Soft Laughter] [M:] How much space you regain?
[Friend 6:] Mooji, I can report. [Friend 6:] Since I heard you say, many times,
‘Who is speaking? Who is speaking?’ And I’ve been doing it for a while. And one of the effects is that when I see ‘I’, there is immediately awareness about it. ‘I’ – it feels when it comes out of my mouth and… and even…it’s shorted in the way in my head already, when it comes, then, it stops already.
[M:] It’s very good. [M:] It is very good, because this hammering at the ‘I-feeling’… Because so often, we are speaking always on the base of, ‘I did this and I saw; when I went there, this thing happened’
and ‘I, I, I, I’ and no one seems to stop it. So here, not every time, because it would be so frustrating, if every time,
we have to, ‘Which ‘I’ are you using?’ But sometimes, after a while, it builds up a certain amount of noisiness and smelliness, or you may use ‘I’, you know, say fifteen times in a minute, or two minutes, or something, and for the most part, you let it flow. But at a certain point, it’s just too much. You say, ‘Stop, for a moment. When you say this, what are you representing when you say ‘I’ in this context? What do you mean? Who is the ‘I’?’ Like that. You know? But it’s not just willy-nilly, you have to be a bit intuitive, and to sense that this is an appropriate moment,
it comes this moment. And when you are checked-in like that, and confronted like that, where you have to, somehow, slow down and replay what you have said, then you have to, somehow, come to an awareness of this. Then, this is going to help in other exchanges. Something here reminds you, ‘But, but again when you say ‘I’,’ or you start to be aware when others are speaking, how often their ‘I’ is rooted in egoic references. And then, you reflect back, ‘But my gosh, you know, it is also occurring here.’ So, this thing that you just mentioned now, it’s such a good exercise because here, we don’t just accept. When you say, ‘I, I, I, I’ and then, it becomes such a noise; when there’s a noisy ‘I’, noisy ‘I’ means that which is carrying a lot of history, a context of person-hood, likes and dislikes, then judgments come, then frustrations, and then, the… all of this very sticky use of concepts. Then, we have to be able to challenge these conversations, and say, ‘Please, stop.’ Because this is, you know… we have heard in London now, you know, now, you can be fined, or you may even lose your home if you cause too much noise pollution in London. If you make too much… one time we didn’t have that, but then after a while it’s too much! They say, you can go to court for noise pollution. And now, you also come to court for concept pollution. Too much ‘I-pollution’. [Laughter] Too much ‘I-pollution’. You know? Then, you make the whole place smelly; make people very unhappy. Then, you’ll become more aware, and then, like this, we’ll outgrow these tendencies, and you’ll be surprised at how quickly things change. And a whole smelly room becomes something very fragrant, like an open field, it’s very beautiful. Like that. So this habit, wild habit, unchecked habit, you know, ‘Yes, but I like this and I…’ it is not excusable, once you have come into the ashram of your Being. And if you’re coming into the ashram of your Being, then these things cannot be overlooked anymore because they’re at the very root of a lot of self-deception, at the very root. So, you cannot be working on other things, when the primary thing, which is, really, that which you should give most attention to, is overlooked. [Friend 7:] I feel like, [Friend 7:] this vasana is the belief that I am a person. This was what I thought, and I feel like, it goes along with what you’re saying. And I feel that rather than looking at the little things that just to conquer the whole thing, it’s to keep checking-in, which is, actually,
already happening, naturally. Like, in every moment, that something doesn’t feel true – and you know, you just know. You know! Then, there’s a checking-in, like, ‘Who is this one?’
[M:] Yeah. [Friend 7:] And this, I feel, is… I’m disappearing. The one, who I thought I was, is disappearing. [M:] It has to be. [M:] Because if it doesn’t, then, what the hell, is any spiritual sadhana about? If you’re only just parotting things, and it doesn’t lead to a change in the orientation of your thinking. So many people are just parotting these things. But what does it mean if it doesn’t amount to a disappearing of that old regime of thinking? It has to be thinning out. So, when one checks-in, like, you know, the sense of ‘I’ and it is looked into, probed into it, little substance is there, little substance is there, and it’s thinning away, moment by moment, it’s thinning away. ‘Cause the thing is that, ‘I’ can hide behind so many stones. You see? Of all the letters in the alphabet, ‘I’ is the slimmest one. [Laughter] And still, something is hiding [More laughter] behind this ‘I’, itself. The biggest thing, isn’t it? So, it can only be exposed, really, through that earnestness, I would say, that urge, a real sense of determination to be free of it. Because, why? Because you see the fruits of this egoic identity. What rotten fruits it bears. Because it does bear fruit but not tasty ones. And for a while, you know, it has been unavoidable that we, somehow, identify in that egoic state, for a time, but gradually, somehow, the consciousness must wake up from that sleep of identity, of such limited identity. Because it can go on and on, and we can hide behind, something even can be hiding behind, even the thinnest thing, it’s hiding behind, and yet, it causes so much trouble. This is why, constantly, I’m pointing again, you know. When you say ‘I’, what are you referring to, now? And if you’re honest, you check-in and say, ‘Actually, yes, it’s the person again.’ And again now, and – ‘Ahh, [sighs in exasperation] it’s my body-mind again.’ And this thing again, ‘Oh, it’s my arrogance here again.’ You see? Until, eventually, you get sick of yourself. You see? At a certain point, you just get tired of this, this very rancid identity, and something just… a shift takes place internally, and you cannot go back to that anymore. It’s just like old shoes that you have outgrown. One time, you used to wear, you know, size two shoes, then, when you go to size three,
you cannot wear size two shoes again. And when you go to size five foot, you cannot go to size three shoes again. So, something is outgrowing itself, all the time. As it happens outwardly, it must also happen inwardly, also. Where there is… where the consciousness is identified with limitation, it must outgrow that. And it has been put in front of you the most direct way, the most direct mirror, actually: Who am I? Because every sentence has ‘I’ behind it: ‘This is what I think; this is what I did; I used to meditate; I am a Christian; I am a Muslim; I am this; I don’t like that; I disagree; I agree; this is my philosophy, this is my reli…’ This ‘I’ – what is ‘I’? That has such, such confidence? You see. And each time, as you slow down enough just to take a look, you start to see, you know, that it is not truthful, it’s not truthful, it is not truth. And would you want to, once you’ve slowed down and look, would you want to continue identifying with that fox? Then you see, ‘No, actually. It’s not true to me now. Who is the me now?’ You see? Then, you see it has no history. That, which exposes the unreal, itself, is without history. Then, one finds, you know, ‘But, that must be the seat of ‘I’, itself. That is the true seat of ‘I’, itself. And it has falsely been put into a lot of different masks.’ So, therefore, it’s why I say,
Always keep looking under the kilt of ‘I’. See what is the ‘I’ wearing today. You see? And then, somehow, like this, you bring that consciousness; that self-awareness becomes alive and… everything change so quickly! But if it’s not looked at, everything seems to remain the same for so long. Because throughout a day or a week, how many times? Thousands of times, we are saying ‘I’. Thousands of times, nobody’s counting, but it must be thousands of times. ‘I went there.’
‘What do you think?’ ‘Yes, I’m going,
– I’ll come back in a minute.’ ‘I’m gonna…’ And it’s such… it’s the most persistent habit, and nobody looks into it. Nobody is looking into it, at all. That if the root perceiver is, itself, a contamination, then everything that is arising for it becomes contaminated. Therefore, I say, You can begin in the simple way that I have pointed out. Recognize: These things are coming up, but they’re not what I am. When you say, ‘I am frustrated,’ you turn your ‘I am’ into frustration. You see? And something, at a deeper level, knows, ‘This is not right. Something is not true here. But what choice have I got?’ You see? So like this, it’s already a good start. So, that’s it. [Friends:] Thank you. Thank you, Mooji. [Music plays] A tendency (vasana) seems to be established
and we put up with it. It is a challenge to overcome a vasana. The ego cannot smell its own breath, but one who is free from egoic concern or self-defence can easily detect what is not in service to the truth. If you want to fast with me, you can fast from your vasanas and see how many egoic concepts have you lost and how much space you regain. – Mooji [Music fades] www.mooji.org