The Power of Self-Responsibility – Matt Kahn

how do we care for others without
caretaking for others do you know what I mean and I think the difference really
quick is when you care for others it means you are giving of yourself openly
generously genuinely and thoughtfully no matter where others are in their journey
but you’re not holding yourself hostage and waiting for them to heal and shift
before you are set free so we care without caretaking and in the name of
self responsibility I think it’s really really essential kind of love this into
energy just so good you felt where you can talk about these really clarifying
things but from this gentle heart opening energy a lot of them been in the
name of self responsibility we can really start to see how do we interact
with reality as awaken heart centered beings what does it actually mean to
judge and how do we unravel that tendency so let’s talk about judgment
for a moment to be aware of the shortcomings the
necessity of healing the unconscious patterns and other people to be aware of
the density and darkness that obscures their perception of reality that causes
them to project instead of Inquirer to conclude instead of asked to draw
assumptions instead of ask for more information that’s not a judgment that’s
awareness that’s an awareness it’s only a judgement when you decide to
ridicule gossip and condemn the person for how they are to talk about the
condition is to gain clarity from your perspective if it leads to shaming or ridiculing or defining someone as bad
versus good that would be called a judgement does that make sense now
here’s where it gets interesting and a little sticky for a lot of us let’s say
you have someone in your life that when the going gets tough and when the
pressure is on they may not be able to process their stress and I project it
onto you as criticism or make your life not so easy by the way they don’t know
how to manage their circumstances and you say to yourself this is not how I
like to be treated and I think that it’s best for me to draw a boundary and not
subject myself to this type of behavior when they’re acting this way now to the
other person they may think that’s a judgement
and in their mind they may say you should be able to be with me no matter
how I act but that’s not a measurement of self-acceptance if you condemn the person in your mind
that’s a judgement and as a result of that judgment you might say I can’t
spend time with them the I can’t spend time with them might be the right
boundary that you and they both need but you don’t have to condemn them in order
to draw that boundary does that make sense so in my book everything is here
to help you I talked very specifically about how we respond to anger how is
anger here to help us anger whether in yourself or someone else says I’m too
overwhelmed by the healing process occurring in my field and the one who is
angry needs space to heal and process by themselves whether they know it or not
so when we are treated disrespectfully the one who disrespects us is begging on
a soul level for space and it’s a message they’re not receiving because
they’re too entrenched in their ego so when we are abiding as our soul we say
the person who is disrespecting me needs space to heal by themselves
even when their ego says I need your companionship we’re the one that says
I’m gonna give you the space you need that’s called drawing a boundary when
people are at their most useful and beneficial expression in your life
they will treat you with respect now you can have someone in your life who is
just releasing emotionally and might need you to hold their hand while they
emotionally barf and they don’t have to make it about you they’re just gonna say
hey look I gotta said his words and if you can be here for me that’d be great
and then you can hold space if you can and if you start to feel fear or you
start to feel anger agitation that’s your inner voice saying your
being there for them in the way that you can and they need you to be but at this
moment you need to take a break and draw a boundary for yourself because now this
is actually too much for you so in the new spiritual paradigm it’s really it’s
really important to create boundaries and I say this to you as someone who in
my life I never knew about boundaries I never knew what a boundary was I always
thought a boundary was a limitation I never thought of it as a space of refuge
to take care of myself I had to learn that I’ve had some amazing teachers so so creating boundaries is when you know
the interaction with someone else has reached its peak potential in that
moment and that sometimes people can be blessed by our presence and other times
they’re more blessed by our absence and to know when the moment is done is just
by tuning in to your inner emotional compass and the boundary is actually a
part of the soul contract between the two of you because there’s a contract
that says if you desire interacting with each other here are the gifts of mutual
benefit you can share while being in each other’s presence breathing in and
out each other’s vibrational frequency while speaking to each other and then
when those files have been swapped and we need to integrate what we have
exchanged there will be a sense of I think the moment is done I think my
attention is going elsewhere or someone will act in a way where a boundary needs
to be created that’s about the discernment of
understanding why we come together and when it’s time for that moment to end
just like at the end of a meal there’s a time when you know to ask for the check
there’s just that sense of where’s the where’s the server right you just know
same thing with interactions there’s a moment where there’s a ripeness of our
sharing and there’s a moment where I think this is kind of runnings course you ever had that funny experience with
family who stayed just a little bit longer than they should have right on sudden that final day and
you’re like are you sure you don’t need a ride to the airport I said oh no my
flights not so like tonight there might be earlier flights you can get home
early do laundry think of how ahead of tomorrow you’ll be you’ll be so ahead of
the game right you ever had that moment the best here’s the best way to interact
with family the best trips or time you spend with your family should be ones
we’re on the last day you’re all saying I wish we had more time if you at the
end say god it’s like we just got started I wish we had more of this you
have created the perfect amount of time with someone you always want that God
we’re just getting started but you almost want to like rearrange your
flight schedule but don’t leave on the high and there are nerds and family they
go oh god I just wish we had some more time together like I know this would be
really good they go should we rearrange our trip now no no no no this is this is
this is the sweet spot this is the sweet spot right at the end of the time
together you should already be missing each other
that’s when you got it right not do you stay just a little bit longer and it’s
just kind of like you know just waiting it out that’s way too long
so when we’re interacting as human beings just like just like aren’t there
times where you feel in yourself oh there I could go out and be sociable
friends or I think I need to stay home and just take care of myself you have
that right energetically I just think I need some me time for me I might say you
know I’m integrating some big upgrade which happens all the time and when I’m
going through an upgrade sometimes my field is so sensitive that being around
people is just too much for me it’s all just too intense I got walk into a room
if I’m going through a real sensitive grade and I feel everyone’s stuff and
people are talking and everyone’s voice and mannerism and expression feels like
it’s happening inside my body and so there are times when it’s just
you know I think I need to be by myself and integrate and be silent and go
inward and that’s really the cornerstone of heart centered consciousness knowing
how to read the signs of your inner guidance so you can take care of
yourself plus you and so drawing boundaries isn’t to push someone away
but if you’re drawing a boundary for someone in in a in an ego structure or
someone who’s waking up but doesn’t know what a boundary was so that was for me I
didn’t know what a boundary was I had to learn but there are people in your life
and I can look at my family and go when I’ve tried to create a boundary for my
family how upset they got they felt rejected and abandoned they didn’t see
that the boundary was for me to take care of myself they were just looking at
what they thought they were losing or missing they thought me spending time by
myself meant I didn’t want to be around them and on some level it’s not
incorrect they go well now it’s like you don’t
want to be with us well it’s not that I don’t want to be with you I just want to
really be with me and if you’re there I can’t do that
so it’s not really incorrect right when people get hurt it’s not like there’s no
kernel truth to it right if you want your own alone time in your partner
because it’s like you don’t want to be around me well I want to be around me
and if you’re there it’s not that full immersion it’s not untrue it’s not the
purpose of it so we don’t have to judge and condemn people as oh you’re this
your lower I’m higher Oh God you know all that stuff we don’t do that label
people whatever and even the things we’ve talked about at this retreat we
talked about different you know passive aggressive tendencies narcissism these
things these aren’t judgments these are understanding the way certain patterns
play out in our minds within ourselves and others
so when having greater awareness of what’s playing out we can be aware of
when these things are active what role are we being asked to play and when
someone is acting in a way that is disrespectful to you an energetic
invasion taking away from your ability to freely choose how to be or just
distracting to you in a way that doesn’t feel good
you have the ability to create a boundary that says you know I care about
you on a soul level and I think that I’m going to remove myself in this moment
and I think what I will see you some other time and if someone gets upset or
hurt by that they’re free to do so they’re already in a healing swirl so
them being upset by that is not the biggest surprise and when they get upset
by you taking time for yourself do you know what they’re doing to your need for
space they’re judged against they’re judging you for taking the time you need
to be whole because when we when we are imbalanced relationships we are
celebrating each other’s wholeness and if there’s someone in your life that
needs space to find their wholeness so to come back with you and celebrate
wholeness well then why wouldn’t we cheer that on and if we can be with each
other when we’re less than Hall and support each other that’s great but we
have to be honest can I be there for that person don’t think about the person
you want to be think about the person you actually are there’s a lot of us who
want to be certain expressions of spiritual perfection
we’re already perfect as we are but there’s there’s there’s a certain way we
want to be we read about it we go oh I want to be like that and we try to be
like that but is it actually where we’re at because you have to be honest about
where you’re at to work through the barriers to be limitless that’s why I can be on stage and tell
you in my life I walked through life and and so many things have no effect on
bless you and then when something does affect me I’ll be the first person to
admit it so we can talk about it I’m not afraid of that I’m not trying to be like
anything I’m just being myself with you and there’s an inherent perfection to
just being yourself wow this person needs me and I really
want to be there for them I want to be the kind of person that says hey I’m
your rock you know just flip out yell at me and I know you’re only yelling at me
the things other people have yelled at you about this isn’t about me and you’re
just gonna go and just let it rip and I’m just gonna be a rock and I’m gonna
be in Samadhi and immoveable and just be your support and when the time comes
you’ll be that but if you can do that for two minutes great and if you can’t
do it at all why judge yourself why judge yourself for saying to someone you
know I’d love to be there for you but my nervous system doesn’t have it within me
to give you what you want so I have to give myself what I need think of it as
someone who desires things in their life big-ticket items but their bank account
doesn’t have the funds for those checks to clear they’d like to buy all those
things but they don’t have it in the bank to cover that expense do they same
thing energetically you’d love to be there for people but do you have the
money in the bank to cover that Shack or is a can abouts and for it to bounce
energetically means you’re gonna be there for someone in the way you
actually can’t your nervous system doesn’t have it within you and your
nervous system is gonna crash and you’re gonna have to spend even longer time
healing that cuz you didn’t get the mess does that make sense be there for
someone because you’re proving to yourself with a spiritual being you are
and blowing out your adrenals not everyone can be there in the way people
need and it forces them to go inward and be by themselves but you don’t need to
judge people for how they act you don’t need to judge them for the way they are
you just need to be able to ask yourself is this what I’m ready to experience and
is this what I need you know what they need remember we’re going from
caretakers to being a caring partners this may be what they need but is that
what I need do I really want to be there for them while they’re going through
this and if there’s a desire to go my god my beloved is going through hell I
want to be there for her like a man whose wife’s in labor and she’s in
excruciating pain pushing a baby into the world and the husband’s like honey
I’m right here for you this is us we got this and if they have another epidural
please maybe just squirt it in my mouth like a
fountain I don’t mean to foretell the future when
the doctor has to see you honey do you want an epidural I’m gonna answer
it say yes that’ll be a double sir make it a double stat so are you feeling more
comfortable with the importance and benefit of a boundary are you
understanding that instead of surrounding yourself with a bubble of
light and trying to be there for people when that’s not what you need you
understand that removing yourself from the moment is actually the protection
that you can walk around with right the greatest psychic self defense is the
power of discernment and the willing to acknowledge what you need and not wait
for other people’s approval now of course at the same time we don’t have to
walk around and do in a very caustic and sharp and jagged manner you know like I
need my own space and if you don’t like that you’re a problem like we don’t do
all that that’s what people do when you’re not comfortable speaking the
truth when you’re not comfortable speaking the truth you come from this
very aggressive standoffish place because you’re actually afraid of being
rejected by others and you’re just trying to push people away in a very
callous way because you don’t know how to just stand for what you need right
the most courageous thing you can do is let people know what you need from a
place of openness and humility hey I really know you need me to be here for
you god I wish I could do I wish I wish I could be the person that could be
there for you right now but my adrenals don’t have it with it
me my nervous is done is already in its own the frazzled state and unfortunately
I’m have to take care of myself right now so as soon as I’m back online we can
revisit this for right now I had to take care of me
and someone doesn’t like it that’s just a part of their healing
journey so as a segue in this conversation about self responsibility I
want to kind of Anna Douglas before I want to dispel a very old
misunderstanding on the spiritual journey because there’s nothing wrong
with the old spiritual paradigm just like having old text books are not
useless but if they haven’t been updated it’s not extraordinary use
extraordinarily useful does that make sense
like if urine if you’re in a class on geography and your book is from like
hundreds of years ago and a teacher asks you a question and as a what country is
at this coordinates and you open up that book and you go Pangea you’re not gonna ace that shit are you name this European state Gaul no that’s France right same thing with
our spiritual textbooks our knowledge it’s not wrong it’s just old it needs to
be updated so I talked about teachings I’m updating teachings for now so you’re
not spiritually looking for Pangea they’re not trying to vacation in Gaul you’ve been updated so let’s update
something and here’s one of the major misunderstandings of the old spiritual
paradigm and again I’m just using terms now just again another aside I use terms
like narcissists because it describes the kind of echoic patterning that a lot
of us as energetically sensitive Souls have been hurt and affected by it’s not
to point fingers it’s not name-calling it’s none of that stuff it’s just a way
of identifying why people who you wanted to be loved by or unable to treat you in
the way that you’re able to act it’s just an understanding at the same time
especially now in this new millennium that word narcissist gets thrown around
quite often doesn’t it right I choked with Hay House because we were talking
about book titles and I was just joking and you only knew you and you joke and
you go hmm and I joked about I’m gonna write a book called
they can’t all be narcissus so before we kind of unpack this I just
wanna I know unfortunately I’m not sure I want to go around the country teaching
that for months so maybe I do I don’t know but it’s funny maybe an article I
write that’s that feels like as much time as I
want to put them that or I’ll teach this and this will be the YouTube video and
then that will be that right and then the face button in the Facebook or
YouTube narcissistic community will be all up in arms about me what would be
the complaint from the narcissistic community about my video not the
narcissists are very upset about the video you did it they’re upset that it
took away from time to focusing on themselves how dare I
so before I go into this let’s just have a really really simple heart standard
way of really understanding the simple deficit narcissism narcissism is a
condition now part of the problem is when were being compassionate for
people’s conditions we we also have an assumption that it’s okay that they
treat us the way they do okay that’s the big misunderstanding because we’re
having compassion but we’re being affected by them so we have to learn
this really interesting level of communication where we say hey I have
compassion can I totally see her going through something I’m not sure you mean
to act this way but I’m being affected by your behavior I love you I’m sorry
but I have to remove myself now do you feel that okay so we have compassion for
conditions but we don’t have to be victimized as if that’s what it means to
hold space for people the people that you are going to hold space for are the
people that can actually be respectful in their healing and make it about their
journey and not what’s wrong with you as soon as they make it about you they’re
distracting from their journey so self-absorption is a tendency to
focus on ourselves and not include the awareness that there are other people in
this world right self-absorption is to focus on myself at the exclusion of
others now to have your own space to have a little me time that doesn’t mean
you’re excluding people that means you’re going inward but to walk around
this world and making it all about me and no awareness that there are other
people also that’s called self absorption it’s a
tendency to focus on you only you what you think what you feel what you believe
at the exclusion of other people narcissism is not a tendency it’s the
inability to consider anything else but you does that make sense so some people
in your lives don’t have the inability to consider you they just have a
tendency to make it all about themselves that’s a tendency and some people have a
extraordinary tendency right a talent a knack a propensity Klingon and the glass says what I me so
some people in your lives are going through such deep healing crisis’s now a
lot of people in your lives don’t know they’re on a healing journey
they don’t know that they think healing is when you have a medical diagnosis
they don’t understand the ongoing and emotional psychological and spiritual
energetic healing awakening expansion and transformation that literally starts
occurring the moment you’re born they don’t know that so in not knowing that
they are going through this accelerated spiritual awakening that is beyond the
awareness of their human personality and so their ego is just focused on the
optimi centric perception what adds to me what takes away from me does this
person have anything for me oh they don’t why am I talking to them what are
you gonna do for me you’re not gonna add to me why are we talking your my way you know
that’s just classic ego behavior that doesn’t mean narcissist cuz that’s just
a tendency to focus on ourselves and that’s just how we view life when we’re
incubating an ego and ego is just the soul in its most dormant state so we
still respect the soul but it’s on its way slowly but surely like a child
having a tantrum when we go ahead one day you’re gonna be a heck of an adult
right now welcome to the show and we do it with compassion we don’t blame the
child and hold them accountable based on hula girl in 2000 adult-like a
childhood found a tantrum and you go Johnny that’s no way for an accountant
to act because Johnny’s got 20 years before it
becomes that right that would be unfair so to look at someone going through an
egoic episode honey honey honey that’s no way for an ascendant master to be
honey you have wings right so we hold space for others waking up out of the
tendency of self-absorption and here’s something else very interesting sometimes you’re in relationships where
it is imbalanced where you think you’re being there for more than other people
are being there for you at the same time today is the day of self-responsibility
so I’m not gonna say this is true all the time I’m just gonna ask you to
consider consider the fact that when you are totally aware of how other people
are too self-absorbed to be there for you but that is actually a subtle
perception of self-absorption as well because of seeing life through the lens
of what about me instead of asking the question what do I need to take care of
myself DC they can’t all be narcissists it’s a real cool term to throw around I
talk about a condition called narcissism the inability to focus on anything else
but yourself the inability right those people have a tendency and exaggerated
tendency a well strengthened tendency it’s clever it’s crafty it’s a lot of
things but the inability the inability and that’s pawns to God why I think on a
spiritual level we have manifested such a president
so that we can all we use this willy-nilly term narcisse’s and he steps
up and goes look let me just be the poster child and show you what it really
looks like and we can just compare and contrast from this model what causes narcissism is profound
amounts of time spent in a state of emotional neglect the greatest form of
abuse now I I’m not going to say that physical and sexual abuse isn’t the most
extraordinary example cuz it is so there’s two kinds of abuse to come risky
jump all around but it all makes sense two kinds of abuse just like there’s two
aspects to the ego so it makes sense that when you your ego is shaped by how
other egos have affected you that you would be shaped by two forms of abuse so
in the ego structure there is the passive side the aggressive side the
aggressive side of abuse is violence rape bless you violence rape assault
captivity torture these types of things the aggressive side the passive side of
abuse is called emotional neglect and sometimes we are the most traumatized
not by what people do to us but by what they withhold does that make sense so
oftentimes it’s the act if the aggressive side of abuse that makes us
into the victims it’s the passive side of abuse called
neglect that creates narcissist because it’s think of the think of the
play of opposites it is the passive abuse of neglect that
turns someone into this aggressive character to always make it about that
to make everything about them because early in their life someone didn’t give
them the attention that they needed there’s two sides of a view is passive
and aggressive one is being affected by what people do to us
and then there’s what people don’t do for us when you are self-absorbed
everything is what about me what about me this is what I need this
is what I want and that’s okay to have desires but do your desires run you to
the point where you’re unaware of other people around you that self-absorption
narcissism is no awareness of anyone else and the inability to self reflect good minute they self reflect there are
reasons for their behavior that make it okay right they started it but in the
old spiritual paradigm one of the biggest misunderstandings is that there
is one spiritual path that’s a one-size-fits-all
and that’s not the way it is there are two different spiritual paths one for
the energetically sensitive who has already in past lives or who was simply
born not rooted in self-absorption and usually for the energetically sensitive
beings we are the ones that start off in victimhood and from victimhood heal and
become the hero of embodied heart centered consciousness so we go from
victim to Lightworker now when you are someone who is going
through that kind of a journey so it means that either in a past life or just
you were born at a frequency where your surrender is going to be different
if you are beginning your spiritual journey you are often gonna start off in
some form of self-absorption or a pattern of narcissism and your surrender
is going to be far different the old spiritual paradigm is actually more
geared towards the self-absorbed narcissistic tendency and so we have
been doing the old spiritual paradigm up to this point which is why a lot of the
processes don’t actually work let it go can be useful for a reformed
self-absorbed being but for us we try to let it go and nothing happens because
for you the version of letting go that you need is your feelings matter see how
different that is so in the old spiritual paradigm they said there’s one
spiritual path one size fits all and it caused you energetically sensitive
beings to feel bad about yourself that you can’t quite do things right it’s not
that you can’t do a riot say you’re on the wrong path the path for a narcissus
is actually a spiritual form of the 12-step program but for us there’s a
different path and the old spiritual paradigm you were taught that life’s a
mirror that all the stuff you see outside of
you is reflecting what’s unresolved in you now that was true
the Buddha would sit around talking to his students and disciples and say how
can I be the enlightened one when all these students must be reflecting the
things I don’t know that’s not true Jesus would be on the cross going how
could I call myself unconditional love when people are stoning me and hating me
that’s not true so we have to really look at life as a mirror in a different
way so here’s the new updated version 2.0 for energetically sense of the sauce
alright so we can take our maps of Pangea sell them on eBay
and update our files welcome to France right bye-bye Gaul welcome to France so
life is a mirror the goodness in every person whether covered by layers of
density or obviously shining out a transmission of energy however subtle or
palpable it is to you it’s a goodness and every person now
there is goodness and every person it’s just how deeply buried and
suppressed is it by the pain of their past the goodness of every person is
reflecting back to you the light of your soul the conditions you see in others
that cause them to appear damaged and less than what you need them to be are
all the things you’ve already resolved in yourself the old way says will if you
see something in someone else that’s really in you right someone’s being mean
to you why do I hate myself see that doesn’t make sense that goes to self
blame not self empowerment so the goodness in people reflects the light of
your soul the conditions you see in people you can only notice the
shortcomings when I say shortcomings I don’t mean that as a judgement I mean
the things people are working out in order to become their best it’s not
wrong to look at someone and say you know what you’re amazing you’re unique
you have a lot of talents and that aspect of you need some buffing out
that’s not wrong that’s just awareness the shortcomings the conditioning the
patterns the unconsciousness and other people you’re only seeing those exact
things because those of things that have been in you by and large have been
resolved you only can see what limits other people if it’s already been healed
in yourself does that make sense okay does that feel better I agree now
how do you know when the things you notice and other people are still things
being healed and you you have an emotional trigger there are layers to
healing layers not just one moment many moments layers so there’s this tendency
to have one foot in the door of resolve and one foot in the door of evolution
one foot in the light one foot in the dark and we’ve healed something to such
a degree that we can become aware of the conditionings of other people to see it
from that perspective but if it still triggers you on some level that means
there’s still something active in you that needs to be healed because other
people only trigger and you what is there for you to be healed which is why
when you have a reaction to someone else’s behavior that’s yours that’s self
responsibility and you go to someone going how can you do this to me now
again I’m not talking about abuse I’m not talking about you get attacked by
someone and you feel certain way and you go well I guess that’s mine to heal the
truth is what the attacker brings up emotionally is yours to give back and
heal to make you better but that doesn’t mean you deserve to be treated that way
no one deserves to be treated in a disrespectful way we just happen to be
living on a planet where beings are still learning about the evolutionary
process so they’re still unable to go through the cycle of evolution in an
unconscious manner and if you’re meant to catapult to a higher level of
consciousness sometimes the darkest things happen to us just to uplevel us
in the most extraordinary way and as you up level to extraordinary level of
consciousness you will then be there to be in a position to heal other people
who have been affected by the attacks of abuse just like the abuse that brought
you to the new level of consciousness to free other people so it’s not a judgment to look at
someone in your life and go wow they keep going through this pattern and I
see that they’re really hurting and they keep missing this that’s that’s
awareness and you have to decide if when they’re going through that is that
something that is complementary to your reality or is it taking away from the
experience of you being whole onto yourself
and to make that assessment is not a judgment that’s empowerment to ridicule
judge and renounce them in your mind to shame them for that how dare you act
like that and because you act like that you don’t get to be around me now we’re
judging you feel the difference so the things in you that we turn inward
turn to the past and send back is because someone showed us yes you’re
able to see what someone else is learning because you have healed it to a
certain point where their conditioning can reflect to you what you’ve already
learned you’ve learned it so you’re not lost in the me centric perspective of I
you’re actually seeing it in another you’re seeing it from great space the
space is the awareness like if you step back you see a bigger perspective you’re
seeing it in another person because you’ve healed some space in yourself
it’s not just lost here you see it here but there’s still something to heal if
you’re triggered and it’s not wrong to be triggered we have to kind of stop
shaming ourselves we’re being triggered let’s make up a new term that we can
abolish on this spiritual journey that’s abolish trigger shaming right isn’t like a book thing right now
everyone’s company shaming like that your beauty shaming I don’t them shaming
I heard one that was one of the funniest narcissistic inventions I had ever heard
in my entire life and I had to sit back and I had to take ten minutes of my life
and just roll on the ground laughing that someone pointed out to someone else
they’re rather abusive tendencies and the other person accused them of bully
shaming how standing a new frontier of narcissism you know really when you
point out how my words are affecting you and making you feel little it I think
your bully shaming I really would love to be able to suppress you in a state of
harmony what if that guy I thought you know what that’s great that’s great
that’s so ridiculous amazing I don’t know if I
it’s eleven eleven it’s eleven eleven after all it was just an example of how
you know funny the narcissistic again just as consciousness has no end to how
great it can be that conditioning if when not ready to heal there’s no
there’s no end to how deep denial can go that’s that’s the example so I’m saying
that’s abolish trigger shaming trigger shaming meaning if you get triggered why
shame yourself cuz to shame yourself for being triggered is to say someone’s
reminding me that I’m ripe and ready to heal something in my body and instead of
actually saying yes to the healing I’m gonna actually hold on to what’s ready
to be healed and I’m gonna make up a bigger story of disempowerment about
myself no no no I’m not gonna heal this I’m gonna hold onto it and turn it into
a weapon and stab myself with it that’s what triggers shaming is when you don’t
have the right to have a reaction instead of saying I didn’t have the
awareness to know what was bubbling up inside of me and this person showed me
what I’m ready to resolve can we actually be that humble that’s what self
responsibility is all about because some people are so lost in the belief of what
they think is true their blame blame blame and the emotional trigger says by
the way this is your shit if you react to someone else’s
conditioning it’s also yours why shame yourself why not just go okay
thank you thank you for triggering the crap out of me only in a spiritual
journey can we feel unsafe and think we’re failing some pop quiz
what got angry oh my god I got angry like you failed the present moment exam like you get emotionally triggered and
out of out of out of a darkened corner Eckhart Tolle a step selves how dare you
I dare you what time is it now good day I don’t know why I made it
totally gone for Hitchcock creative license like are you allowed to
have like and here’s the thing a lot of people will allow themselves be
emotionally triggered but they’re lost in believing that their viewpoint when
they’re triggered is correct and then their blames become a form of
righteousness and that doesn’t make us narcissist that
makes us self-absorbed beings that’s a moment would become self-absorbed
instead of self-aware or self responsible when you’re triggered that’s
yours as yours to facilitate greater healing does that make sense
good that’s why I did the practice with you at this retreat of just sitting
because when the feeling bubbles up we don’t have to jump in to blame when a
question pops up we don’t have to immediately ask sit with it sit with it be with your experience before bringing
other people into it sit with okay I’m feeling some reaction okay there’s an
opportunity for me to heal what can I do with it
what’s the adjective to describe how I feel oh this feels like fury wow that’s
a big one whoo-hoo in my life may be furious that belongs to so and so I turn
back I allow all the fury to be sent back to this person as blessings for
their journey ahead wow I feel lighter Thank You person who triggered me do you
see and you doing that process maybe not in the same room or the moment is the
person that triggered you but here’s the magic of unique consciousness you don’t
to do it the moment you get triggered that’s another thing we try to do I have
to be able to be perfect in the moment anytime you’re triggered there’s a layer
being healed if the same feelings being triggered
there’s deeper layers to be healed and if the same person is triggering you
keep doing the healing just work the process just work the process because if
the same person is triggering you and you wonder why is the same person keep
wises keep happening now we’re going to self judge but we’re not judging them
we’re judging ourselves we’re judging the process and making into a problem
remember that from day 3 or 2 or 1 or whatever though we’ll just work the
process what you’re aware of in others is what you’ve already healed which is
why you have the space and perspective to heal it what triggers you is what
binds you to a level of consciousness that you are outgrowing we heal it by
feeling in our body the trigger by asking ourselves what is the time in my
life god bless you where I felt this emotion the deepest or
the first time who is the character that helped bring this up in me I give this
pattern back to them not as karma not as darkness but as blessings for the
journey ahead I heal that lineage I contribute to the healing of the person
in my life who triggered me and I free myself now by the laws of unity
consciousness you don’t have to do that healing in the heat of the moment any
person that triggers you the moment you do that forgiveness process I just
demonstrated you heal the lineage in yourself like I demonstrated and you
also clear density and the person that triggered you so the healing work you do
is also assisting the people that trigger you so if you’re being triggered
is cuz there’s something in you that needs to be cleared and the people that
are triggering you are waiting for you to clear it to lighten the loads they
can be more conscious to learn to do that themselves
so everyone’s being helped everyone’s being helped the cross-sections of how
one thing heals all people is fantastic and incredible when you really
understand it and so really the reason why we don’t blame and judge is not
because it’s it’s a spiritual no no it’s because why would I take the time to
develop greater self righteousness self judgment and self absorption when I
actually know how to liberate myself and do so much to heal the planet why would
I why would I say no to that opportunity sorry I can’t help myself in the planet
evolve I’m too busy building a case of judgment against someone else and
feeling bad about myself that’s not what you want to experience so I’m giving you
the choice so you can start acting and being the way you want to be I’m not
saying you should stop judging I’m saying what’s the allure of judgment
when all it is is a false level of protection that we talked about
yesterday as the price of being right all you get is to be all alone and be
right while on emotional fire burning in your
own inner torment that’s what we call hell and the Christ walks through hell
and says are you ready to enter the light nope not yet still just smoldering
in the heat of my own righteousness and the Christ walks away and comes back are
you now ready to enter the light you see this is what the metaphor is and the
Christ walks through the fire of hell untouched because self judgment and
righteousness cannot touch the vibration of a being who is protected by the
energy of self awareness and self responsibility because the christ walks through life
and says beloved one let me heal your pain and if something arises in me thank
you for showing me what’s mine thank you for showing me what’s mine thank you
were for reflecting the light of my soul back to me by the goodness I see in you
and if there’s anything left in me that needs to be buffed out trigger me now
and make it good trigger me now and life goes okay you’re in a sacred partnership
here with your beloved you come home and going there’s a lot of things I need to
process and in the middle of your deepest sharing life goes now let’s make
your partner yawn and then when you unpack all the things
you want to share in your brilliant theory of why life is against you and
you say honey baby what do you think what were we
talking about triggered like a ninja right your
partner okay you don’t realize because you’re so busy like just sharing you
don’t realize and life’s like you know your partners is putting on their ninja
outfit just getting ready to trigger you you don’t even see it coming the only
state coming here’s a funny thought you couldn’t imagine how spectacularly
perfect anyone is when you need to be healed and triggered when you need to be
healed and triggered life will turn anyone into anything that you need to
feel what is within your being game fucking on and I’m and I’m not making
light of it because it’s it’s deep it’s painful it’s the world will trigger you
it’s politics will trigger you it’s everything and it gets real deep and
it’s real dark and it can get real intense so even if you’re going through
dark night of the soul when you’re going through dark night of the soul it’s not
like I got trigger those good honey that’s not it it’s no it’s the plight of
the world it’s literally I see the darkness
affecting people and it’s eating me alive that’s a dark night of the soul
and all of us are at various stages of evolution some of us are making our way
through dark neither soul some of us are in the residential section of hell just looking for some sort of breath of
air and perspective so whether we are just trying to figure out how to be the
best partner with our beloved’s whether we’re just trying to figure out how to
be aligned and more self-aware responsible and less judgmental or we
are literally being eaten alive by the insanity of unconsciousness the process
is what do you feel that’s step number one what is the ad step number two what is
the adjective to describe or define the way you feel no matter who triggered it
what are you feeling how do we define it forget who triggered it once you’re
aware of what you’re feeling what caused it disappears doesn’t exist once you
feel it we let go of the one who revealed it do you own a meme so once
you’re triggered you go oh I’m feeling boom the person that triggered it
irrelevant doesn’t matter cleared of charges when
your attention goes off of blame and on to self responsibility
you’ve just forgiven him without saying those words that’s what forgiveness is
pardon and set free the people that brought your attention to the healing at
hand what are you feeling find an adjective to describe how you feel in
your body angry sad jealous vengeful anything you will know what the feeling
is because you will feel it you’ll taste it and you’ll define it with a word an
adjective lonely regretful shameful pitiful ugly
rejected once you define it step number three who in your life made you feel
that the deepest or who is the first person to introduce that and if that if
those if those two questions have to different people than we do the process
with both you will always have in your past
someone that was involved in your emotional upbringing so even if the
person didn’t cause it who are the characters present when I felt that the
first there’s always a character we’re not blaming the character we’re just
pinpointing a character so we know where to send the energy we know the return
address that’s all we’re looking for the return address so even if you go well
this person didn’t cause me to feel angry but they were present during the
anger it’s not their fault that you were angry it’s their lineage you’re healing
does that make sense so step number one yes I’m triggered what am I feeling step
number two define the feeling step number three who in my past copy you
know and cause as a perception but just play it out who in my life was present
when I felt that the deepest or the earliest and then I take the feeling and
you say the words silently or outloud whatever works for you or you do it
energetically however you’re wired to be I allow these patterns of whatever the
emotion is to be sent back to the source of its origin as blessings for their
journey ahead that’s it that’s the whole process that’s the process of
forgiveness and again and a little bit we’re gonna take some questions just
let’s work the process for a moment and as I’m speaking it to you you’re feeling
the process occurring as we unpack this you’re actually feeling things be swept
out energetically as I teach you the process that’s the multi-dimensional
nature of this offering I know this is probably bringing up questions and again
we’re gonna have time for plenty of questions and I love that because it’s
my pleasure and honor to serve you so deeply and decisively but just with this
much so far that we’ve has been shared does this make sense
does this help clarify the way we can start to live as conscious beings and
not get swept up in the things we’re here to heal thank you that’s what I
feel as well because day five is about look we have gone through a lot of
emotional healing we’ve gone through a lot of clearing we’ve gone through a lot
of expansion we’ve deepened a lot of relationships we’ve done a lot of
incredible work in a short amount of time and now we have to prepare
ourselves to return back to the wilderness of our present home and
reality and all I want to do is give you some evolutionary camping equipment because some of us are in the jungle
running around naked looking for berries I just want to give you some clothes
some camping equipment there’s a tent and let’s just make our experience a
little more pleasant do you mean little more pleasant little more pleasant
here’s why we are here to anchor heart-centered consciousness to help the
world heal and to fulfill our mission as anchors and light bearers of a new
reality but as far as our interpersonal lives are concerned do you know what
that doesn’t include calling people on their stuff instead we work our process
now if people in relationships are acting in a way that is disrespectful or
limited or is not feeling good to you we have conversations we communicate we
talk about this happened and if there’s any is there a way but maybe next time
we you can talk to me this way I prefer it it would feel better to me we
communicate our needs we don’t share our blames we communicate our needs we don’t
share our blades so if you’re gonna talk to your partner your friend your
neighbor about something that you did not like or didn’t feel good to you what
I would say is we’re not ready to share with others unless we bring with us a
productive solution of a better way to do it because the communication is that
I didn’t like that and the question is well what is the better alternative so
next time that you were setting them up for success don’t shame them for their
failures set them up for success if someone did something to you that didn’t
feel good you better have with you a better
opportunity and solution so at least they can learn a better way of
interacting with you and if the person becomes incapable
of acting that out or is it uninterested in that more heart-centered option then
that gives you a great perspective as to what role they may play in your life
going forward so we set our relationships up for success by saying
look if something is not feeling good let me help my partner my neighbor my
lover my family my friends let me help them learn the way I would
like to be treated and let me give them the opportunity to
be a part of my world and if they can get it fantastic if it takes them a
little bit of time we all have our own learning curve but we set people up for
success because if you tell people what didn’t feel good but you don’t have a
suggestion as to what would feel good then they’re just left with oh my god I
failed you and then there without the confidence to actually be there for you
during the times when you’re hurting the most so we set people up for success that’s what communication is all about
we communicate our needs we don’t share our blames we work our inner process but
not instead of communicating we work our inner process so to create a space so we
can communicate diplomatically and in diplomacy we share our needs we make
suggestions of what would feel good so we can all grow together just feel that for a moment let’s feel
that for a moment so when we’re emotionally triggered someone is showing
us what is ours to be healed and resolved now we can work the process and
then still sit down with our partners and say look you did that and that
triggered me and I know that’s my stuff but if there’s any way going forward if
instead of maybe talking to me like that if we can talk to me in a different way
that would really really mean a lot to me I mean do you see how diplomatic that
is like look when you talk to me that way honestly a triggered the shit out of
me all of a sudden you weren’t you you were my mom and I was eight and I had a
little bit of a freakout thank you for helping me clear some
lineages of eight-year-olds thank you very much thank you that was awesome
namaste but here’s the deal if there’s a way that when you talk to
me you can communicate with me in this type of way and maybe say these kind of
words it would really help me remember that you’re my partner or not my mother
that’d be awesome I would love that
so I know you didn’t mean to but I’m just trying to make this moment so that
we can really understand each other like do you understand how diplomatic that is
yeah that’s how we learn to communicate we don’t blame and refuses you the
process we don’t just do the process and refuse to communicate it’s a balance of
both and sometimes we learn the process but we get so entrenched in the process
that we forget how to be human beings we are emotional beings and we’re also
expressive beings so we learn to become conscious we learn to communicate and
it’s a balancing of all these aspects and if we just take our time every
moment will show us exactly what the moment is geared for sometimes we go
inward or we clear a lineage and sometimes we come out of our inner
experience and communicate our needs without sharing our blames now emotional
trigger has a very obvious way of seeing what’s yours that someone brings up in
you judgment is the most subtle form of emotional trigger because you are
avoiding feeling the trigger by being in a state of righteousness or
self-absorption now then the subtle form of judgment that helps us avoid working
the process and being humble and being present our healing journey in the
subtle form is called gossip so to eliminate gossip which is an unconscious
tendency it’s an avoidance of self-responsibility here’s the new rule
of engagement we talk to people not about people if you are if you see something and
you’re not ready to talk to someone work your inner process and there’s nothing
wrong with talking to someone else going I need some I want to talk to this
person about this issue but I don’t how to talk to them when you’re appealing to
someone else you’re saying does your insight have any insight for me as to
how I can approach this situation I want to communicate I want to share my needs
but I think I’m just gonna go in to blame can you assist me when we’re
talking to other people were asking for help when we are gossiping or just
swapping judgments we talk to people not about people that’s extraordinarily
important even when I see what happens on the news I don’t tell anyone what I
see do you know why I’m not their salesman I’m not about their salesmen
I’m not gonna watch something ridiculous and walk around my world good could you
believe what’s happening I don’t work for them I don’t work for them I’m
employed by the light so that’s what I talk about so that’s we have to decide
who do we work for and when we work for the light we talk
to people not about people that’s self responsibility feel the strength from
that feel the character in that feel the pride in that feel look feel the you
know what I feel good about me I feel good about me I know I’m learning how to
communicate I’m taking responsibility for what gets triggered in me whether
it’s being triggered by someone at the store whatever it’s being triggered by anything will trigger you when it’s time
to heal and the reason why the rules of the spiritual paradigm even the old is
go within at just means when it’s your – he’ll know what to do the people that
blame persecute and shame and act the way that is so hurtful do you know what
these people who are so aggressive and so conditioned and so ugly sometimes in
their behavior do you know what they’re actually just demonstrating to the world
I am going through the depths of the healing journey and I have not been
taught how to heal when someone’s acting inappropriately they’re saying I don’t
know how to heal that’s why I shared the process with you what am I feeling
what’s the adjective who do I associate that to give it back and clear the
lineage and even sometimes in a moment like this I can walk you through the
process and some of us are actually feeling like this stewing energy we
heard the process and right now we’re not actually doing the process so let’s
try it right now together either the emotion you have the hardest time
dealing with or the most difficult feeling you’re having right now what are
you feeling or the thing that gets between you and
the people you love the most you know pick any one they pick whatever question
resonates don’t do all of the questions just the one that resonates the most
size are gonna be the shitstorm right now the thing that always shows up most
often or the thing that gets between who you love the most what’s that feeling
I’ll even extend the process can you find in your body where it resides can
you actually locate it right now where is it I’ll just extend the process to
make this more vivid for us where is it in your body does it have a shape or a color a texture a smell located in your body if you can and if
it seems to be largely in your body let’s just make it a bigger area maybe
it’s not just a chakra maybe it’s my torso some of us maybe it feels against
as big as the whole world just locate it just notice it notice the color the
shape the texture just become aware of this is what our crazy crazy world is
trying to bring your attention to why should we ask ego consciousness to work
so hard thank you for showing me this this is mine to heal and it’s mine to
heal because it’s mine to give back now who in your past caused you to feel this
the deepest or was the first person to introduce it we’re just finding a return
address for not projecting blame and we say out loud I allow all of those
who conditioned me to feel this way to be pardoned and set free as I send these
patterns back to the source of origin as blessings for their journey ahead and to clear all lineages of ancestry with whom they belong and so I am
forgiven to be forgiven is to be the one who won
packs the conditioning and returns it back as blessings to clear the lineage I
am the one taking responsibility for what’s been triggered in me I’m the one
who has successfully sent it back I am forgiven doesn’t mean you did something
wrong I am forgiven means I’m the one that took responsibility for what arose
in me I’m the one that sent it back I’m the one that cleared the lineage and I
am the one who is self responsible in a moment that mattered most for the
well-being an evolution of an entire planet that’s what it means to be I am
forgiven which means I’m lighter as a result of this process of self
responsibility and all we have to do is make sure the things that trigger us
aren’t consuming our attention from the process at hand feel how deep that was and the only caveat is that sometimes
you’ll do the process and you’ll feel a little bit of lightness but the feeling
will still linger and all that means is that you will send it back but the
feeling says the feeling says I’m that deep feeling inside of you that’s been
judged so often that I’ll go but I just need a little time to hang around so
then we do ‘simply we have we have a little sidebar process which is we sit
with the feeling the child knows it’s time to go to sleep time to go to the
light but it’s just it’s just not quite ready and it’s fighting okay honey sit
with me for a few moments have a glass of water and when you’re a kid and you
want to go to sleep and you try to do anything to just to stay up no no no I
need a glass of water and your parent goes I’ll give you with that one thing
honey here’s a glass of water let’s have a glass of water together so if the
feeling if you do the process and the feeling goes not so fast that means I
have to sit with this I have to sit with this and just let it be the angry
hurtful child that gets to be with the parent or attention that never had
remember what’s the most passive form of abuse emotional neglect and the triggers
inside of you are either the angry dark emotions of caring with you other
people’s energy from their aggressive unconscious tendencies or the residue of
how much attention you didn’t receive and that neglect is healed by being
present with ourselves so we worked the process if he feels lighter fantastic
and if there’s still like the oh I’m still angry or I’m still mmm so in this moment you might feel lighter
by the process we did yeah here’s my next question to you is there something
that is still lingering in you probably find it in your body describe it with an
adjective does it have a color does it have a location does it have a shape
does it have a texture then we sit with it remember it can be the same because
we clear it and send it back and then if it’s still there we go oh well this
needs me to sit with it let’s sit with it right now and all I
want you to do is not try to make it soft I just want you to be the softness
around it be the softest space for it to be let your emotions right now be harsh
let them be angry let them be vengeful just be the softness around it that says
it’s okay I’m not trying to I’m not trying to not hear you I’m not trying to
control you I’m just gonna give you a safe place to be
it’s okay it’s okay and even if it’s even if it
has a voice that says it’s not okay you’re right it’s not okay and that’s
not that’s not condescending we’re allowing it to be right it’s not okay
you just said it’s not okay so now we update our files it’s not okay it
doesn’t have to be okay but I’m going to be with you it doesn’t have to be okay
we just have to sit with it while it’s not okay because it doesn’t feel okay
because of the ongoing memory it’s looped in but you are okay with sitting
with it that’s the only one who has to be okay is the one sitting with it it
doesn’t have to be okay it’s a memory it only knows past you are the observer of
the present you can be okay with that which isn’t okay that’s the distinction
of awakened consciousness if the observer holding the innocence of a
memory like a parent embracing a child are you the child being held or are you
the observer holding it make that clear distinction and maybe it feels like a
little bit of both that’s okay we sit we sit and we relax and we let
the feeling have the undivided attention and never had before we’ve sat in this
retreat and now I’m making it functional so it’s actually a tool for you bless you sit with the feeling you ever
seen an expectant mother who’s mm-hmm you know however many months away
from giving birth and what do you often see a mother doing just sitting with her
hand on her belly just connecting with her child why can’t we do the same thing
a pregnant woman is expecting a child but what your birthing is a moment of
transformation that’s what you’re expecting maybe the water hasn’t broken
away yet just like a mother who doesn’t have to
go god I can’t wait for this to be out of me maybe sometimes that’s the case
but the mother can sit there and go out I I cannot wait for this one to be born
why can’t we sit here with our hands on our belly and go I cannot wait for this
to be healed not to get away from it but the excitement like it like a like a
newborn baby is gonna be born and that newborn baby is your expanded
consciousness oh my god there’s a newborn consciousness birthing within me
I can’t wait for this to dawn I’m so excited I’m just gonna sit here as an
expectant parent just being with that which is being healed oh my god this is
this is so exciting I get to be with the things that countless generations
couldn’t deal with do you know strong that makes you that we’re healing and
sitting with the things that have eluded the consciousness of countless
generations there are infinite bloodlines of families that have certain
accomplishments that bought land that built things that took things from
nothing from a field of wheat and made towns that’s incredible
but somehow didn’t have the emotional intelligence to sit with this feeling
right now you are doing what they could never do it wasn’t their time to figure
it out and you’re doing it for them and for yourself there are beings that have
invented vaccinations that have eliminated polio and this was the very
thing they could get right look at what your accomplishment is look at the history of conflict and war
without the whole political storyline and what caused people’s and families to
battle each other and to fight each over other over land and resources and not
work together as a community but be in conflict because they couldn’t do this
they couldn’t feel uncomfortable and just sit with it and say I will heal
this by transforming neglect into emotional freedom by being present which
with that which cries out for me do you know how big of a deal this is this is
the healing option that gossipping blaming and complaining will never
provide you instead they are just opportunities to go out if I’m gossiping
complaining and blaming I am obviously triggered on a very subtle level let me
sit down and take responsibility and heal the lineages in the cells of my
body that are crying out to be set free from their cycles of abuse let me free
some beings right now and may I be the one that leads by example may I set some
free some beings free right now and may it begin with me because if you think
anything in this world is gonna change politically or physically first it
changes vibrationally first and then we have the space at capacity to create new
rules laws agreements and so forth it all begins within so we are creating a
new infrastructure for an enlightened civilization by clearing the space for a
new land to dawn and the space we are clearing is called
our cellular body and the roadmap to clearing your
cellular body so another acreage of land opens for our
new world to be created occurs through the map of our emotional intelligence by
knowing the process to work and people that work this process what is their
identity I am forgiven I am the one who liberates all not the one who needs to
be liberated and the one who is forgiven the one who works the process does not
live and regret spiral in gossip be instigated in the blame be coerced into
conflict instead they walked this planet knowing if I get triggered that’s mine
too clear cuz I am forgiven and if someone has a problem with me let me
forgive them someone maybe you’re not triggered but you’re in the presence of
someone who’s acting in a way that says I am healing and I don’t know what to do
that’s what meanness is now you’d have to stay in the moment with them remove
yourself and then we work the process as masters even if you’re not triggered but
just to say maybe what I do will help them maybe maybe not but why not just
give it a shot what was I feeling from them boy I was feeling a lot of judgment
where in my life did I feel the deepest judgment or the first judgment who are
the characters send it back blessings of the blessings ahead clear more of a
lineage and by the laws of unity consciousness if that ricochets out of
my heart and opens them up so that they go home and don’t beat their children
and abuse their partner well thank God I got to be a light worker that’s the
potato that’s the potential of this is rather
extraordinary what had that person was mean to me it didn’t really emotionally
trigger me so I really don’t have anything I need to do but let me choose
to do the process on their behalf so that maybe they go home and don’t take
it out on innocent people that’s how we become spiritual superheroes that’s how
we become a part of the solution instead of being engulfed in the pain of the
problem right what is what is the problem say the problem so big I can’t
see a solution in sight that’s why I teach you the inner process
because the solutions not here it’s in here sometimes the solutions out here
people are mean and nasty and insufferable pack your bags and go
there’s a solution check into your local Marriott shelter friend’s house
couch-surf and work your process just feel it’s been offered today in
this first morning session and we’ve gone from again feel how much more clear
everything is right now you know what I’ve prepared you to do
I’ve prepared you to interact with other human beings in a much more mindful and
conscious way because now other people can be exactly who they are but you know
the rules of engagement you have the right to not be around anyone for
whatever reason they can be the most spectacular high vibrational being and
if you need some space to just be by yourself create a boundary why blame why judge when all that does
is make you more into a person who needs to work a process of forgiveness instead
of being I am forgiving forgiving I am try this I am forgiving forgiving I am that’s the confession of saying I am a
light worker I am here working the process to bring the solution not to
perpetuate the problem I am the light the light I am I am the light the light
I am I am the light the light I am I know I just switched I forgot what we’re
doing I’m the light the light I am I am the light the light I am I am forgiving
forgiving I am why are we forgiven because I am the
light the light I am the minute you realize that you’re in the light all
your human past is done I am the light the light I am I am forgiven forgiven I
am I am forgiven forgiven I am I am
forgiven forgiven I am I am forgiven forgiven I am
I am forgiven forgiven I am I am the light the light I am I am the
light the light I am I am the light the light I am
I am the light the light I am let’s feel that you

97 thoughts on “The Power of Self-Responsibility – Matt Kahn

  • I have a YouTube channel of my own and my yesterdays vlog was EXACTLY THIS MESSAGE. Oh how people need to hear this.

  • At about 48:40 Matt touched on a great part of the reason for the Trump presidency. It's part of his role to trigger others areas that they need to take responsibility for. But I'm amazed at how many ppl who believe themselves to be so spiritual haven't figured that out yet. Still running around blaming Trump for their own lack. Before we can truly resolve current problems ppl need to face themselves. I've never seen so much projection in my life as I've witnessed from the Never Trumpers & #Resist ppl. Honestly I didn't want any of the cadidates. But I found it quite interesting watching the response to him winning. Insanity!!!

  • It’s so great, Matt! You’re speaking about boundaries! It took me a long time to learn and understand them too. Much love xx

  • Exactly what and when I need it! Blessings! I can hardly wait to receive my copy of your new book!

  • i got the weirdest headache listening to this… very similar to the headaches i sometimes get during a reiki session

  • About 3 days ago I was really thinking about Matt and how he hasn’t posted in a while. Very excited for this content!

  • love matt and share with everyone whether they are "on the path" consciously or unconsciously! aloha!

  • Perfect timing for me. So overwhelmed with what needed to be healed in me that I could not even remember what to do 🙂
    Love this process. ♥♥♥

  • A narcissist is never you. It's always someone else, which makes you mad because then it isn't all about you.

  • I just had a spiritual inside orgasm…..this was so damn good and so timely and I was so desperatly waiting for Matt to talk more about narcissists. Thank you Matt. You are a god sent.

  • So grateful to be guided to this…total understanding and so needed to hear. Thank you thank you thank you

  • Thank you, Much Love & Appreciation for you Matt….I love your fiery enthusiasm in your voice & words…You always give us lots of fiery, truthful, spiritual wisdom food for our soul & spirit to look at & take responsibility for our actions & words…Wow…We are so Blessed to be here listening to this Divine video…Sending Much Love to all here 🙂

  • Matt you are amazing, love all of you insights! I continue to be transformed by your presence and words of infinite wisdom.

  • What drivel.. Why trust a human who talks in such absolutes, it makes very little sense, he’s talking from a perspective where for what he is saying there is absolute right and wrong, there has to be one way, like these ways are best for every person and these absolute decisions in each moment will give you and the other human the most benefit from life and teach each other the most valuable lessons….!?!?

    There are many paths not limited exclusively to two. There is no right or wrong path, just life, this human has took it upon himself and decided he knows what is right and what is wrong for everyone, and that he is in a position to just tell people how to be.. This kind of talk can easily be as toxic if not more than what he is suggesting

    Judgement can be useful more for some humans less for others from a different perspective, some require it to learn and move forward or break a cycle.. same with ego it can be useful in positive ways or negative (see above narcissist hiding in plain sight)..

    Couldn’t “respect” also be putting someone else’s need so far above your own no matter what and taking risks because the only thing you know for sure is that you don’t know the best or right path, that we do not and cannot know or predict the future or outcome? Sticking around longer than others might, might often be what that other person is missing in life, loyalty beyond reason, good old blind faith in yourself and your intuition. It’s good to listen and have guidance of course but surely the best path is your own individual path of just doing, trusting your own intuition, making mistakes, owning them and moving forward not acting on one humans opinions of what we should do or do not, based on their very limited life experience (as vast as he may proclaim it to be..)

    Shouldn’t we all act the way we want people to act around us.. If you want loyal people who will push the boundaries to be there when no one else would be then you should learn to act that way. If you listen to this spiel then you’re learning to act his way only, which can of course be good for a few others at certain stages of life if they are lucky but for the rest they will never face any adversity because when things get tough they would likely embrace an arbitrary “boundary or two” which would likely be confused at least 50% of the time for an excuse or pointless avoidance through fear which is simply allowing fear to control your life, how is that good advice..?? How could anyone ever possible know where that line is for each person.

    Why is it called healing? Why not just all learning? The implication that we are all broken yet in the same breath we are perfect, and of course that has to be here otherwise he wouldn’t have an audience.. Right? Couldn’t this be seen as using people’s weakness to gain recognition to play to his ego because it is all about him in reality?

    How could a human possibly know of understand where each persons limits are and how it effects our human physiology, avoidance of pain or suffering can be massively detrimental to our mental strength, our very physiology, how can these conversations be structured as such so generally..

    Pushing boundaries and facing adversity at every given opportunity is proven with scientific study (yes science and spirituality and coexist and even compliment each other) of humans for decades; showing that it’s very effective for human development and growth so what are you actually waffling on about? It’s the very best way to gain strength and understanding of ones self and others around us.. never giving up on each other, always showing we can be there for each other no matter the cost can be such a powerful and good thing.

    He is obviously trying to push his idea in a very specific way for people to listen, so he does have an agenda, so he’s actually lying to you, otherwise he wouldn’t be able to speak on stage this way…. Playing to people’s softer loving and caring, comfort zone areas of the already confused mind desperately in search of salvation!! It’s the “lowest hanging fruit style” of teaching, playing to everyone’s ego ironically. His use and interpretation of words is so “intelligently” crafted to manipulate people and is soaked in ego which is why he talks about it so much like it’s a bad thing as a whole…. Consider: directly under a huge sign behind him saying “all for love” stood on a stage talking at people as a self proclaimed or heavily implied healer/teacher with an important message you must hear to “heal” yourself. But he has absolutely nothing to gain..!? I smell an egoic, narcissistic ninja spending hours talking about it openly to distract emotionally vulnerable humans from his own affliction.. I guess I could be wrong though…. You decide for yourself because I’m sure even if a little time is required you are all intelligent enough and empowered enough not to require my advice or opinion, I just felt compelled to give another perspective

    Learning is the most important thing we can do and we don’t receive many valuable lessons from one person preaching their understanding of life.. listening to many totally opposing views is a great start, get it from making your own mistakes and owning them, facing your fears and pushing your boundaries.. opening up to being hurt so you can learn to fix yourself, to learn how to heal. Keep it simple

    No one single person can tell you what is best for you, empower yourself by living life, taking risks, doing things instead of avoiding things, get outside of any comfort zone, that’s where amazing and beautiful life is found, it often comes with a shit ton of hard times but they lead to lessons and learning and growth.

    I would strongly advise people to question this kind of preaching at you the meaning of “love” and other words they clearly doesn’t fully understand, what a guy.

    Definition of narcissist: a person who has an excessive interest or admiration for themselves.. hmmmmm 🧐👌🏽🤯🙈

  • Matt Kahn has changed my life completely.. I feel I owe so much to him. He speaks to my soul and has aided my souls journey more than I could ever express. Thank you, Matt. You are so beautiful and my inspiration in many of my darkest moments. THANK YOU ❤️

  • Listening to this while in full blown adrenal fatigue😂😭 Matt always knows.
    Thank you❤ Love and blessings

  • This was a divine answer to what I experienced today, thank you for this latest transmission, pls keep them coming!!! xoxox

  • Listening to Matt speak always raises my vibration ✨ so much appreciation and gratitude for your wisdom and clarity ❤️

  • i feel as i already know Matt, its like im familiar with his energy…and he is so wise, yet inncocent and good hearted. It feels so good to listen to someone who talks out of the purity of their heart!

  • This is about everything that I’m going through right now 💖 plus welcome clarity after reading “dodging energy vampires” although does this mean I neglected my son emotionally or that no amount of my time even as a baby would have made a difference to him as this is what he came to experience? He has been tricky since day one…,

  • Matt, I'm in awe now at the synchonicity of the topic in this talk. With all the craziness lately, my girlfriend & I are quite sure that these things are here to teach us BOUNDARIES. As we've been discussing what are the right words to respond with or how to exactly respond and how to clear, You showed up with even more assistance. Namaste

  • Outstanding info – just love all the updated spiritual paradigm info – my heart thanks you Matt Kahn… so much

  • The Universe's magic and humor trumps the LIE once again,  BAM!    LOVE THIS GUY!  "Trigger Ninja" ~ hahaha….   Matt,  you're awesome, thank you for helping me take full responsibility……

  • This is one of my favorite talks you've done Matt. Exactly what I needed considering what's happening in my life right now. This one I will probably watch more than once to really let it sink in and remind me of this awesomeness 🙂

  • Omg! This breakdown of the 2 sides of abuse is profound! (Around 33:00 –>)
    Thank YOU Matt for updated Truths through belly laughs and sincerity 💌💖)

    Orlando, Fl

  • Perfect timing. Just what I needed because this is exactly what I am working on. I love you so much.

  • wow I really needed to hear this! feels so good in my body like a big breath of fresh air clearing my recent triggers <3 God bless you matt and thank you for all you do xxxx

  • always spot on! So deep. So true. So insightful. So healing. So liberating.
    Listening for the second time to fully absorb these pearls of wisdom.

  • Matt Kahn, thank you for turning around to come back for us.. you are my Moses… 🙏🏽💚🦋❤️🗾

  • When triggered; "I allow these patterns of (whatever is experienced without judgement or a need to make wrong) to be sent back to their source of origin to be healed by where it came from (in reference to their lineage)." 🙏

  • Missed you Matt. May you all ways have deep grace on your journey. Keep on talking rocking our world.

  • Wow my dear teacher. Once again, this is exactly what I needed in this time in my life. I needed to understand about narcissism. Even if I am in my heart, it has been difficult living with a narcissist husband for 20 years. I did not know what to do anymore. It has caused extreme emotional and physical pain and suffering. I needed your guidance and it came at the right time…before I swirled back down in vibration and down on my knees again. Thank you.

  • I am not sure why but I find it very distracting now that you are standing and that you have lost the weight. I am not sure why. When I look at your videos now, it is all I think about. I don't even hear your words anymore. Very strange. Must be that some of my own issues are surfacing.

  • Oh ! I really thank you for this message! Sitting with the feelings triggered bring me a peace and new consciousness!

  • Oh Matt, I am so grateful you exist and are here to share your light!! I love how you spoke directly to me in the first minute of this new video. haha!!! And then just continued to do so for the next hour. I tell everyone who I think will really listen about you and your clear messages. So much love, beautiful man!!

  • 40:55 Holy shit, that blew my mind! It clicked PERFECTLY. I never heard it articulated, but the internal search for a trigger recently felt totally off. It all makes sense now! Thank you so so much, Matt.

  • Thank you so much, I had to write another message. I needed the keys you gave in this transmission. I am releasing so much because of this video. I am so grateful for the key. I needed the key. Now I have a tool. I am sobbing in gratefulness my dear teacher. Please continue to guide me.

  • Wow where to start? Firstly thank you for sharing your light, for shining it at the exact moment I needed to feel your words. I cannot understate how important this was for me to feel, hear, learn, acknowledge and own today. I have cried in pain as a joyous release experience. Tears that, as they stream down my face are like the caresses of healing hands. The specific reason I needed this was because of a deep fear of losing the most beautiful being I know, and that fear was triggered by her asking for space. I was led by my past, very deep rooted pain, that, though I am aware I have, this video invited me to engage with it with the power of who I am now. To care for it, and forgive it and myself. To be able to go to my beloved and simply say thank you to her for giving me the opportunity to heal and to grow. She does this often, but today I really learnt the extent at which she is able to be that catalyst for me to grow as a being of light and love. Almost as if her intuition is to know that how I react to the request of space in the relationship is a sure way to know, not if she loves me or not, because that is unquestionable, but that for us to truly grow, I must face the pain I carry with me. And separation was the way to do it, and it brought me to you Matt Khan. And I am forever grateful for your words, kindness, wisdom and love, because from today I will be filled with more love and light than I have for a long time. Simply thank you.

  • I was triggered at the start of this 😉 So exquisite as always, exactly what my heart needs for the next step in my healing, the actual steps to heal within, release others and LOVE – thank you angel!

  • LOL! I just wrote an email to Matt yesterday, telling him how much I miss his YouTube talks. Ask & it is given, before I even ask! Thanks, Matt! P.S. This is already one of my favorite messages I've ever heard from you, & I'm only 18 minutes in. Perfect timing!!! YES!

  • The energy of grace is amazing.It was just yesterday that I had ask myself many of the questions that Matt talked about and now I was given a map to deal with the pain and anger from my past. thank you so much. One thing I am learning is tho I have a Guru the teachings will come to me in so many ways. Being open and being grateful and learning the world is our school.

  • What a gift you have given. I am already using it and I will share with my family. Thank you Matt #newlightworker

  • This helped me tremendously in clearing and letting go of things I've been struggling with for years. Thank you so much, Matt <3

  • WE HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY. God wants us to understand:There is a direct connection or tie between prophecy and prayer.
    Many people have received a prophetic word for their lives, but failed to see it come to pass. Why? They didn't fulfill their part by birthing the divinely prophesied purpose from the womb of intercession.
    Prophecy must be conceived, received and birthed in prayer and intercession.
    ''That which is born of the Spirit is Spirittual… (John 3:6).
    Both the prophet who receives the wind, have a responsibility before the lord.
    When the word of the lord came to Mary, the mother of Jesus, it had to be received and nourished in her before it could be birthed. ''But Mary kept all these things [Greek= rhema meaning living words] AND PONDERED THEM IN HER HEART'' (Luke 2:19).
    Mary brought the word of the Lord to birth by prayer, praise,patience and faith.
    Mary becomes a model for all of us to follow in our walk with God.
    We are then responsible to nourished and bring the word spoken to us to birth by our prayers and intercession. Like Mary we must say, ''Let it be unto me according to your word.''

    God want you to help, we need your help
    God miracle for faith, healing and deliverance.
    Email: [email protected]
    06 bp 1434 Abidjan 06
    Cote d' Ivoire
    West Africa
    Rev. ONI Ekogiawe Pascal

  • hello, also I am damn curious to know Matt Kahn's perspective on karma…how does he take karma and how does he merge it with how the Love Revolution??Gawd!! I sure wish and hope over ope he makes a video on that one!!!

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