Video Game High School (VGHS) – S2: Ep. 3


( pinging sounds ) Jenny:
OKAY, FINAL STAGE. NOW MANEUVER YOUR LIPS
THROUGH THE ANXIETY FIELD TOWARDS JENNY’S FACE.
GO LEFT, LEFT! KI, THIS IS REALLY WEIRD. USE THE BREATH MINT!
IT’S GONNA BOOST
YOUR CONFIDENCE! NO, NO,
DON’T HIT THAT. GUYS, GUYS! I CAN KISS JENNY
ON MY OWN, TRUST ME. – WHAT, NOW?
– RAAHHHH! UM, NOTHING. WE WERE JUST BETA-TESTING
KI’S NEW VIDEO GAME. IT’S A HIGH SCHOOL
VIDEO GAME. VIDEO GAME HIGH SCHOOL’S
VIDEO GAME. SMALL PART WITH YOU IN IT. YEAH,
THAT’S WHY I’M HERE. KI, I CAN’T GET
PAST THE FLAG POLE. OH? UH, OKAY. LET ME SHOW YOU. UM… HEY, SO DO YOU WANT TO GET
SOME LUNCH SOMETIME? – WE SHOULD HANG OUT
MORE OFTEN.
– UM, OKAY. HEY, UH, WANT TO PLAY
THE PART OF THE VIDEOGAME WHERE I’M MAKING OUT WITH KI? I’M COMING TOO, GUYS. IT’S JUST ROLLPLAYING! ( pinging sounds ) ( distant combat sounds ) BOOM! MATRIX AND D
DOMINATED THE ST. CATHERINE
GIRLS ACADEMY PUNISHERS
IN LAST NIGHT’S MATCH. THAT MAKES
THREE WINS IN A ROW FOR THE LITTLE J.V. TEAM
THAT COULD. I TELL YOU WHAT, SHOTTY, IF
ME AND THE OLD BALL AND CHAIN HAD HALF THE CHEMISTRY
AS THESE TWO, I WOULDN’T BE SLEEPING
ON THE COUCH. OR DRUNK
AT TEN IN THE MORNING! HA HA! YOU SHOULDN’T
SAY THAT AGAIN! OH. IT’S OK– OH, MY GOSH. – I’M SORRY.
– IT’S FINE. YES, WELL, IT’S CRUNCH TIME,
SO MOTHER IS WIRED IN, BUT FATHER COULD NEVER RESIST
A GOOD PARENTS’ DAY. UH, YEAH, WHEN IS
YOUR DAD COMING IN? DUDE, KI’S DAD IS COMING
IN, LIKE, 30 MINUTES. PAY ATTENTION.
WE’RE PLAYING POKERMON. YES, TAHT’S RIGHT,
AND YOU TWO ARE BOTH INVITED. ESPECIALLY YOU, JENNY.
YOU’RE MY COOL FRIEND. OH. WELL, THANKS, KI. – I’LL TOTALLY BE THERE.
– EXCELLENT. LET ME JUST GO GET CLEANED UP, BECAUSE SOMEBODY
GOT PAINT ALL OVER ME. YEAH, WELL, UH,
IT PAINTS ONE
TO KNOW ONE. ( Ted laughs ) WOW, YOU JUST SAID THAT,
AND WE ALL HEARD. LATER, GUYS. LATER! OKAY, KI, SO WHEN I MEET
YOUR DAD, IS IT
“HELLO, MR. SWAN,” OR SHOULD I SAY,
“C AT LESS THAN
LESS THAN OPEN QUOTES. “OH, MR. SWAN! CLOSED QUOTES!
RETURN ZERO SEMICOLON!” TED, YOU LEARNED C++,
KIND OF. OH, YES.
I KNOW MY ACCENT SUCKS, BUT I REALLY WANT
TO IMPRESS YOUR DAD, SO I’M BRINGIN’ OUT
THE BIG GUNS: MY K-POP LOOKS,
MY J-POP CHARM, AND MY BIG, HONKIN’
SMART GUY BRAIN. ( sighs ) COME ON.
COME ON, COME ON, COME ON. CATCH YOU LATER, DADDY-O! ( Ted chuckling ) TED… DID YOU JUST GIVE
YOUR DAD $5,000? I OWE HIM CHILD SUPPORT. NO BIG, JUST SMART
AND RESPONSIBLE TED PAYING HIS DAD FIVE LARGE. NO, NO. TED, HE PAYS
YOU
CHILD SUPPORT. NO, BRIAN. DON’T MEAN TO MAKE YOU
SOUND SUPER DUMB, BUT THAT WOULD BE CALLED
FATHER SUPPORT. OH, MY GOD, GUYS,
I’M SUPER DUMB. JENNY.
I GOT SOME GOOD NEWS. THAT DOESN’T SOUND GOOD. THE PTA IS GIVING ME
THIS PARENT OF THE YEAR
THING IN THE MORNING. I’M NOT GOING, AM I? THE BRUNCH IS AT TEN,
AND THEN YOU GIVE
A SPEECH AT 11:30. THERE’S A SPEECH? JUST, LIKE, A PAGE,
ABOUT HOW I’M A GREAT MOM. I’M NOT STAYING UP ALL NIGHT
WRITING A SPEECH ABOUT YOU. I HAVE PLANS. JENNY,
THIS IS IMPORTANT TO ME. THE COUNTESS
WILL BE THERE, AS IN THE HEAD OF
THE NATIONAL FPS LEAGUE, SO MAKE IT GOOD. YEAH, I KNOW
WHO SHE IS, OKAY?
I JUST… I DON’T REALLY FEEL
LIKE TALKING ABOUT YOU IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY. WELL, IT SUCKS TO BE YOU. SEE YOU AT TEN. CAN’T WAIT
TO HEAR THAT SPEECH. OKAY.
I THINK I GOT IT. – EACH PLAYER STARTS
WITH FIVE CARDS.
– FOUR CARDS. – D’OH! I’M NEVER GONNA
LEARN THIS GAME IN TIME! I’M SUCH AN IDIOT. YOU ARE NOT AN IDIOT. YOU’RE JUST… CURIOUS
ABOUT THE WORLD. HUH. BRIAN, AM I JUST
CURIOUS ABOUT THE WORLD? WHAT? NO, TED, YOU’RE NOT
AN IDIOT. YOU’RE JUST, UH… OKAY, UH, GUYS, I GOTTA GO. WAIT. BRIAN, YOU’RE
MY BACKUP COOL FRIEND. I’M SORRY, KI.
I’LL MEET YOUR DAD TOMORROW. OH! WHAT HE SAID!
I’M OUTTIE! TED, MY DAD’S GONNA
BE HERE ANY SECOND! EXACTLY. I CAN’T LET HIM
SEE THAT HIS DAUGHTER IS DATING A BIG, DUMB IDIOT. OUT OF THE WAY, OLD MAN! SWAN’S THE NAME.
KEN SWAN. I’M KI’S FATHER. OHHH! OF COURSE YOU ARE! PLEASE EXCUSE ME. COME IN! ( villainous laughter ) ( video game pinging ) YES! ( chuckling ) CRAP! ( chuckling ) YOU’RE BLUFFING. YOU’RE STALLING. ( dog growling ) ( dog groans ) ( sighs ) YOU HAD ME SWEATING
FOR A MINUTE THERE, KIWI. NOW, ABOUT THAT WAGER. CAN WE PLAY ANOTHER GAME?
I HAVE A REALLY GREAT WAGER. ISN’T IT PAST YOUR BEDTIME? YES. YES, IT IS. TOMORROW, THEN. DEAL? DEAL. WHEN WE GET HOME. HOME? OH, SORRY, I HAVE
CLASS TOMORROW. HONEY, YOUR MOTHER
AND I HAD A TALK, KI, AND WE DON’T THINK
THIS SCHOOL IS
GOOD FOR YOU. BEG YOUR PARDON?
ON WHAT GROUNDS? WE PLAYED THE GAME
YOU SENT HOME. HIGH SCHOOL VIDEO GAME,
WAS IT? NOT YOUR BEST WORK. QUITE A BIT OF VIOLENCE
AND KISSING, AND MORE THAN A FEW BUGS. KI, IT’S NOT LIKE YOU. IT’S STILL IN BETA! NO, I CAN’T LEAVE HERE. I’M LEARNING SO MUCH.
I’M BECOMING A BETTER DESIGNER. The Law: NO, YOU’RE NOT.
YOUR NEW GAME SUCKS. YOU HEARD
THAT SAD CHILD, HONEY. IT’S TIME TO COME HOME. WAIT. I REQUEST
A PERFORMANCE REVIEW. THIS ISN’T
UP FOR DISCUSSION. ARTICLE 44, SECTION G
OF THE SWAN FAMILY
CONTRACT STATES, “IF KI FEELS HER
PARENTS ARE BEING
MEAN AND UNREASONABLE, SHE CAN REQUEST
AN OFFICIAL REVIEW
OF HER PERFORMANCE.” VERY WELL. WE START AT 0800. YOU HAVE 12 HOURS
TO PREP YOUR CASE. BETTER GET CRACKIN’. LOVE YOU, SIR. LOVE YOU, TOO. COME ON IN. WANT A BLACK
LICOURISCE SODA? MY DAD
SENT A CARE PACKAGE. OKAY. OH, IS HE NOT COMING? UH, HE CAME LAST YEAR,
BUT MY MOM’S HERE THIS YEAR, AND THEY DON’T REALLY
HANG, SO… HMM. WHAT ABOUT YOUR PARENTS? UMM… WELL, I LOST MY DAD
WHEN I WAS 3, AND IT’S DOUBLE-XP WEEKEND, SO SHE’S PROBABLY NOT COMING. WOW. THAT’S… ROBUST. SO, UH, WHAT DID YOU
HAVE TO WRITE A SPEECH
ABOUT YOUR MOM FOR? OH, YEAH, SHE’S WINNING
MOTHER OF THE YEAR, AND I’M SUPPOSED
TO INTRODUCE HER, BUT I SUCK AT SPEECHES. DO YOU WANT TO SEE
WHAT I HAVE SO FAR? SURE, YEAH. FIRE AWAY. “WHAT CAN I SAY ABOUT
THE INCREDIBLE MARY MATRIX?” THAT’S IT. THAT’S…
ALL I GOT. OH. OKAY. UM… NOT A BAD START. BUT ARE YOU– IF YOU’RE
ASKING ME FOR MY ADVICE, I WOULD PROBABLY
START OFF, LIKE, TELLING A JOKE
AND THEN MAYBE SEGUE TO A COUPLE HEARTWARMING
ANECDOTES. I DON’T REALLY HAVE
ANYTHING LIKE THAT. WELL, SURE YOU DO.
I MEAN… YOU KNOW, LIKE FOND MEMORIES
WITH YOUR MOM, YOU KNOW, LIKE, UH, BIRTHDAY PARTIES
OR GRADUATION, MAYBE FRAGGING NEWBS
TOGETHER. JUST YOU KNOW– YOU KNOW, LIKE CUTE MOTHER-DAUGHTER
KIND OF STUFF, UM… YOU KNOW, JUST
TO SAY SOMETHING NICE
ABOUT YOUR MOM. I CAN’T. I MEAN, I CAN’T
THINK OF ANYTHING.
I DON’T– I DON’T HAVE
ANYTHING TO SAY
ABOUT MY MOM. ( softly ) JENNY. Hey. HI. HEY. THANKS FOR LISTENING TO
MY CRAP LAST NIGHT. OF COURSE. Mary Matrix:
JEEZ, IT’S 10:15.
THE BRUNCH IS– MOM! MOM! M-MARY! COACH! HEY, BRIAN, DON’T YOU HAVE
SOME TABLES TO WAIT ON? OH, CRAP. CALHOUN’S
GONNA KILL ME. JUST GO, BRIAN. SORRY, SORRY, SORRY, SORRY. IT’S OKAY. UM, NOTHING HAPPENED. SORRY. JEEZ, MOM,
HEARD OF KNOCKING? GET DOWN THERE. NOW. I MUST SAY,
YOUR PROFESSOR LAYTON HAS NO UNDERSTANDING
OF WHERE THE PUZZLE GENRE FITS INTO CAILLOIS’
FOUR CATEGORIES OF PLAY. THEY TEACH YOU TO PLAY
GAMES HERE, FATHER. IT ISN’T CARNEGIE MELLON. CLEARLY. HAVE YOU
LEARNED ANYTHING HERE? OF COURSE. EXCEPT FOR FREDDIE’S CLASS,
BUT I DROPPED THAT ONE. YOU’RE DROPPING CLASSES? OH, LOOK, MY R.A. BOARD. THIS IS WHERE I SCHEDULE
ACTIVITIES AND CHORES FOR THE ENTIRE FLOOR. WENDELL! DID YOU
CLEAN THE BATHROOM? UM… YEAH. WENDELL. UH… NO. ( comical groan ) WITH ALL THIS MIDDLE
MANAGEMENT WORK, I HOPE YOU’RE STILL
FINDING THE TIME TO FLEX
YOUR CREATIVE MUSCLES. OH, I SURE DO. IN FACT, AS R.A., I FLEX MY WAY
AROUND CREATIVE
CHALLENGES ALL THE TIME. – SHANE!
– I’M A BUSY MAN, KI! WHAT DID YOU THINK OF
MY CREATIVE IDEAS FOR– I THINK I DON’T CARE
ABOUT YOU, YOUR JOB, OR FINISHING
THIS SENTENCE, SO… THAT’S MY BOSS. HE PREFERS NEGATIVE
REINFORCEMENT. HMM. BUT I SAVED THE MOST
POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT OF THE IDEA OF WHY
THIS SCHOOL IS REALLY
GREAT FOR ME AND WHY I SHOULD
STAY HERE FOR LAST– MY BOYFRIEND, TED. OVULATIONS, OLD BEAN. AND WHY ARE YOUR
ASSAULT PLAYERS
USING ACOG SCOPES? IN MY DAY, ALL WE NEEDED
WAS A SIMPLE FOREGRIP. COUNTESS KELLY,
MAY I PRESENT MY DAUGTHER, JENNY MATRIX. SORRY I’M LATE, MA’AM. A GOOD VARSITY CAPTAIN
SHOULD ALWAYS BE
PUNCTUAL, JENNY, AND BARRING THAT
THEY SHOULD BE ABLE
TO MANUFACTURE A DECENT EXCUSE. YEAH, I WAS UP
ALL NIGHT WITH A FRIEND WRITING A SPEECH
ABOUT MY WONDERFUL MOTHER. WE LOST TRACK OF TIME,
HE AND I. HE AND I? AM I TO UNDERSTAND
YOU’RE LATE FOR BRUNCH BECAUSE YOU HAD A BOY
IN YOUR ROOM ALL NIGHT? Calhoun: I AM HUNGRY!
WHERE’S BRIAN? ERNIE!
WOMEN ARE TALKING! NOW, JENNY, WHY DON’T YOU
TELL US ABOUT THIS
BOY FRIEND OF YOURS WHO’S OCCUPYING
YOUR VALUABLE TIME. HELLO. UM… MY NAME IS BRIAN.
I WILL BE YOUR SERVER TODAY. WE’LL ALL HAVE TUNA. I’m sorry I’m late. I’m allergic to tuna! Okay. ( video game combat sounds ) WHAT? THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE! NO! NO! Voice: HEY THERE,
SHORT STACK. HA HA HA HA HA! LEARNING A VALUABLE LESSON ABOUT RESPECTING THE PEOPLE
YOU’VE HURT IN THE PAST? WELL, DON’T! WHO… WHAT ARE YOU? I’M THE BEST VERSION OF YOU
THAT EVER EXISTED. THE PRIDE BEFORE THE FALL. THE COOL BEFORE THE STORM. I’M THE LAW, AND YOU’RE JUST A STOOGE, A PATSY, THE CHUBBY DILLWEED
EVERY CREW JOCK USED TO WEDGIE INTO THEIR
LOCKERS IN MIDDLE SCHOOL. NOW YOU’RE JUST
LAWRENCE PEMBERTON. NEVER SAY THAT NAME TO ME! OKAY, JEEZ.
SWITCH TO DECAF,
KEMOSABE. WHICH IS WHY YOU MUST
REMAIN FOCUSED. YES, MA’AM,
I COMPLETELY AGREE. A VARSITY CAPTAIN
KEEPS HER SKILLS LEET AND HER SOCIAL CALENDAR
CLEARED SO SHE CAN PRACTICE,
PRACTICE, PRACTICE. YES, MA’AM,
I COMPLETELY AGREE. ESPECIALLY WHEN SHE ONLY
RECEIVED HER STATION THROUGH HER MOTHER’S
INTERVENTION AND THE UPRUPT MELTDOWN
OF HER EX-BOYFRIEND, WHICH LEADS ME
BACK TO MY POINT: NO BOYFRIENDS. OKAY, LADY, YOU KNOW WHAT? I AGREE. IF I EVER CAUGHT
TWO OF MY PLAYERS DATING, I WOULD BENCH THEM BOTH
FOR THE REST OF THE SEASON. GOT IT? I DO, AND I LIKE IT. JUST THE SORT OF DISCIPLINE I’D EXPECT FROM PARENT
OF THE YEAR. LET’S EAT. NOW, MARY, LET’S TALK
KNIFE-RUNNING. ERNIE! IS THAT
A BACON CHEESEBURGER? I DIDN’T EVEN–
I DIDN’T EVEN ORDER THIS! BRIAN! ( Calhoun
clears throat ) I’M SORRY. I WILL
FIX THIS IMMEDIATELY. THAT BOY IS AN IDIOT! HE’S MY FRIEND. I BEG YOUR PARDON. BRIAN, HE’S MY FRIEND. AND MY PERSONAL LIFE
IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. WE ARE NOT TALKING
ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW. YEAH, WE ARE.
YOU CAN’T JUST WALTZ
BACK INTO MY LIFE– YES, I CAN.
I’M YOUR MOTHER. SINCE WHEN? WILL SOMEONE GET
THAT MAN A TUNA? WELL, SORRY IF I APPEARED
SO DUMB BEFORE, KENNETH. I’M NOT! ( Ted chuckling ) MAY I FETCH YOU
A PIZZA DUNKS? I’LL JUST HAVE
SOME WATER, THANKS. AH, A WATER MAN!
FINE TASTE. I ADMIRE A DAD WITH
A SOPHISTICATED PHALLUS. YOU KNOW WHAT, SPORT? LET’S JUST GET DOWN
TO BRASS TACKS. ( chuckles ) OKAY. TED. THAT’S SHORT
FOR EDWARD? THEODORE. AH, GREEK,
FROM “GOD’S GIFT.” TED WONG…
( speaking Asian language ) YOUR PARENTS MUST THINK
VERY HIGHLY OF YOU! NO, THANK YOU,
I ALREADY ATE. YOU LIKE MY DAUGHTER? UH, YES, VERY MUCH. DO YOU TWO GET UP
TO MUCH KISSING? NO! YES! I MEAN, MAYBE…
PERHAPS. LET’S GET BACK
TO THOSE BRASS TAXES. I MEAN,
DO WE REALLY NEED THEM? DISCUSS. LET’S DISCUSS
WHAT YOU DO KNOW YOU DO WITH MY DAUGHTER. UH, WELL, UM… WE GO TO CLASS. WE TALK. AND YOGA. AND EVERY SUNDAY
WE GET UP EXTRA EARLY AND MAKE THOSE LITTLE
PANCAKE BALLS. THEY’RE SO CUTE.
WHAT ARE THEY CALLED
AGAIN, KI? EBELSKIVERS.
THEY’RE CALLED EBELSKIVERS, AND WE USED TO MAKE THEM
EVERY SUNDA MORNING, BEFORE OUR FAMILY WALK. I’VE SEEN ALL I NEED TO SEE. YOU CAN GO. OH, UM… OKAY. IT WAS VERY NICE
TO MEET YOU. THAT WAS VERY RUDE,
FATHER. LET’S REVIEW. YOU STAY UP LATE,
YOU EAT JUNK FOOD, YOU’RE DROPPING CLASSES,
WHICH DOESN’T SEEM TO MATTER, ‘CAUSE YOU’RE NOT
LEARNING ANYTHING, BUT WORST OF ALL,
YOUR ART IS SUFFERING. I LIKE IT HERE. I’M MAKING FRIENDS. THE LESS SAID
ABOUT TED THE BETTER. AS FOR YOUR OTHER FRIENDS, I DON’T SEE HIDE
NOR HAIR OF THEM. IS SOMEONE HAVING
IMAGINARY FRIENDS AGAIN? I AM NOT! THEY ARE
REAL AND WONDERFUL, AND NOT JERKS. LIKE YOU. I’M SORRY THAT YOU
FEEL THAT WAY, BUT YOU ASKED
FOR A PERFORMANCE REVIEW, AND YOU FAILED IT. YOU’RE COMING HOME, KI. HEY. SORRY ABOUT ALL… THAT. YIKES. YOU KNOW, I DON’T THINK
THERE’S ENOUGH ICE CREAM IN THE ENTIRE WORLD
TO DEAL WITH THAT BUNCH. ( both chuckle ) BUT… I DID FIND
A PIECE OF GUM. SUGAR-FREE. BUT WE HAVE TO SPLIT IT, ‘CAUSE I’VE HAD
A PRETTY ROUGH DAY MYSELF. CHEERS. I’LL GIVE YOU
A THOUSAND BUCKS TO GIVE
THIS SPEECH FOR ME. NAH, YOU’LL BE FINE. I MEAN, IT DOES SUCK… BUT SHE’S YOUR MOM, AND YOU HAVE TO DO THIS. AND YOU’LL DEAL. YEAH. I’LL DEAL. OKAY. WELL, I HAVE
TO GET BACK TO WORK. ( soft chuckle ) ( knock on door ) KIWI? I WANTED TO APOLOGIZE
FOR EARLIER. I DOWNLOADED SOME
SWELL GREGORIAN CHANTS
FOR THE RIDE HOME. ( chuckles ) THAT’S VERY
CONSIDERATE, FATHER. ( Ken sings along
with Gregorian chant ) FATHER, DO YOU MIND
IF WE PLAY THAT LAST
GAME OF POKERMON BEFORE WE GO? WHATEVER
MY LITTLE GIRL WANTS. WHAT’S YOUR WAGER? MY FREEDOM! HONEY, WHY DELAY
THE INEVITABLE?
I ALWAYS WIN. BUT IF I WIN,
I STAY AT VGHS. IF YOU WIN,
WHICH YOU WON’T, I’LL DO THE DISHES
ON WEDNESDAY NIGHTS. LASAGNA NIGHT. YOU ARE DESPERATE. VERY WELL. LET’S POKERMON. ( jolly game music playing )♪ ( dog barks ) ALMOST NOTHING! ( game beeping and whirring ) WHOA! YEAH! HA HA HA HA HA! WHOO! I’M BACK! NO ONE CAN BEAT THE LAW
EXCEPT THE LAW! KI, YOUR GAME HAS PROBLEMS! HA HA HA HA HA HA! OH, DUDE, LAW!
PUT SOME PANTS ON, MAN! MAKE AN EFFORT.
DO SOMETHING. NEVER! NEVER AGAIN! HA HA HA HA HA! ( clears throat ) WHAT CAN I SAY ABOUT
THE GREAT MARY MATRIX? UM, WELL, STAY AWAY FROM
HER MEATLOAF, FOR ONE. ( laughter ) YOU’VE ALL HEARD
OF MARY MATRIX. SOME OF YOU
MIGHT EVEN KNOW HER, BUT I’M THE ONLY ONE
WHO GETS TO CALL HER MOM. AND, UH… RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING,
I WANTED TO BE MY MOM. FRAG BOWL 23,
WILDCATS VS. WARRIORS, AND SHE WAS EIGHT MONTHS
PREGNANT WITH ME. I’VE SEEN THE CLIPS, MOM,
YOU WERE HUGE. SO… IT’S THE FINAL ROUND.
THERE’S FOUR MINUTES
LEFT IN THE GAME AND HER TEAM’S DOWN
BY FIVE POINTS, AND SHE GOES INTO LABOR,
BUT YOU DIDN’T STOP. YOU JUST KEPT PLAYING, AND YOU
BROUGHT YOUR TEAM A MIRACLE. THE WILDCATS
WON BY THREE POINTS. AND THEN YOU HAD ME
RIGHT THERE IN THE ARENA. I DIDN’T EVEN GIVE YOU TIME
TO GET TO THE HOSPITAL. I THINK… I JUST WANTED
TO MEET YOU SO BAD: THE BOSTON BANSHEE,
THE SIREN OF DEATH. TWENTY-TWO YEARS OLD,
AND FIVE CHAMPIONSHIP TITLES. SORRY I ALMOST
LOST YOU YOUR SIXTH. WHILE YOU WERE AWAY, DAD AND I,
WE WOULD WATCH EVERY GAME, EVERY PRESS CONFERENCE,
EVERY INTERVIEW. YOUR COMMITMENT TO THE GAME
LEFT ME IN AWE, SO WHEN I STARTED PLAYING,
I TOOK YOUR HANDLE: MATRIX. JENNY MATRIX. BECAUSE YOU WEREN’T
JUST MY MOM, YOU WERE MY HERO. WELL, YOU ALL KNOW
THE REST OF THE STORY: STAR PLAYER
BECOMES STAR COACH, AND NOW SHE’S HERE. SO IT IS MY HONOR
TO PRESENT MARY MATRIX WITH THE PTA’S PARENT
OF THE YEAR AWARD. I LOVE YOU, MOM. WAS THAT SO HARD? THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH. WELL, HONEY,
HERE WE ARE AGAIN. SO… AM I BLUFFING? ( knock on door ) HEY, GUYS. UM… MR. SWAN, I THINK WE GOT OFF
ON THE WRONG FOOT. I’M REALLY SORRY. HEY. WHAT’S GOING ON? TED, WHAT WOULD YOU DO
IF I HAD TO GO HOME
FOR A WHILE? OH, I-I DON’T KNOW. I MEAN,
I’D MISS YOU A WHOLE BUNCH, I’D BE REALLY SAD, BUT IF YOU
REALLY HAD TO LEAVE, I’D UNDERSTAND. YOU’RE A GENIUS. I FOLD. INTERESTING. YOU WIN, BUT I’M
CALLING YOUR BLUFF. YOU WON’T TAKE ME HOME. IF TED IS MATURE ENOUGH
TO LET ME LEAVE, YOU DEFINITELY ARE. THIS ISN’T ABOUT VGHS; THIS IS ABOUT ME
GROWING UP WITHOUT YOU. AND IT HURTS. IT’S CLASSIC
EMPTY NEST SYNDROME. I’M SORRY, DAD,
BUT I’M CALLING YOUR BLUFF. I’LL BET
YOU DIDN’T EXPECT THAT. IT WAS EXPECTED. BUT I DIDN’T
EXPECT IT SO SOON. FATHER. – I LOVE YOU.
– I LOVE YOU TOO, KIWI. HEY, UH, MR. SWAN. UM, WOULD IT BE OKAY
IF ME AND KI CAME OVER ON THE WEEKENDS? WE SHALL MAKE EVIL BEAVERS. ( laughs )
MY DAUGHTER’S RIGHT. YOU’RE A GENIUS. EVIL BEAVERS IT IS. ( knock on door ) YOU SURE?

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