Viewer Questions – How Did We Retire Early With Kids? (+ a Giveaway!)


hey it’s Tim and it’s amy from go with
less. welcome to our channel or welcome back to our channel. we’re really glad
that you’re here. today’s video tackles a subject that we are asked about all the
time on our channel. it’s one of our most frequent questions and it has to do with
financial independence and kids. do we have kids specifically/ make sure that
you tune in through the whole thing because we have a really great giveaway
coming up at the end of the video. every Wednesday we come out with a new video
here at go with less talking about our early retirement and how we retired
early .please be sure to hit the subscribe button, give us a thumbs up and
with that let’s get started. I have three kiddos from a prior marriage and about
12 years ago when those kiddos were introduced to Amy, she began raising them
as if they were her own. all three of our kids are 18 or older. our youngest turned
18 earlier this year and she’s off on her own. our kids have left the nest so
it’s just the two of us at home now. we wanted to talk a little bit about the
process of us discovering the fire – financial independence – movement because
she was with us as a teenager, so it was kind of a big deal. we’re also a little
purposeful about not talking about the children because they are adults and
they haven’t volunteered to participate in our channel. so we purposefully avoid
conversations about them because they’re not active participants in this and we
are trying to honor their privacy. yeah so Tim and I have put an enormous amount
of our life out of the public Internet. this is not for everybody and we
absolutely (as Tim mentioned) we want to respect their privacy so we’re not gonna
get into nitty gritty details. these are other adults that we’re talking about so
hopefully you respect that they aren’t really interested in their whole lives
being put out on YouTube either. we completely get that. even if they were
little bitty we probably wouldn’t want to be putting them out on the Internet
either. but it’s something that…it’s their lives so we are trying to let them
have their privacy. so what I’m gonna start with is our daughter going through
fire with us. when Tim and I discovered this whole movement, she was 13 years old
in the eighth grade. we had a big sprawling ranch house and from our
bedroom to her bedroom you couldn’t scream and be heard. it was that far away
because it was so spread out. that was kind of crazy. her room was
enormous. we had this fancy house. well when we really jumped on the bandwagon
of financial independence and early retirement and all of that our daughter
came along for the ride, of course. she’s part of our family! so we had – our boys
were already gone – but we had conversations on the dinner table
constantly about personal finance. I don’t know about you if this is
something you’re interested in maybe you’re having these conversations
constantly. well we did with our daughter too. we did with ourselves and our
daughter – she’s at the dinner table with us. this is what we’re talking about. so
we were kind of obsessed. we still are – that’s why we’re doing our channel. but
it actually helped our relationship. I think she took a lot of lessons away
from the conversations. in addition to the help that it provided to our
relationship, it seems like she’s taken some life lessons in terms of money and
how her relationship with money. in addition to -sort-of the relationship that’s
improved with us. when we moved out of our big house into our townhome we
shared a wall with our daughter. she’s been gone for two weeks now, so we’re
still trying to adjust to the fact that she is out on her own. that’s been a
little challenging, but while she was here over the course of the last four
years I think that we became a lot closer with her because of proximity. I
think the fact that we shared a wall with her and this the fact that we were
a closer in proximity meant that we were actually to be closer in terms of
emotionally as well. I agree and that’s a really impactful time between 14 and 18
years old. so how fortunate that we had that experience. and when Tim says it’s
challenging that she’s living on her own? not because of her, because she’s doing
unbelievably well. but having your little one leave the nest is definitely a
little bit of growing pains and we miss having her around. so the challenge is,
like I said, she’s independent and having a fabulous life and we’re incredibly
proud of her. but having a big change from having this big kind of spendy life
to reeling it in and going to our towns goodwill and having a much smaller home
in a townhome community? this was a huge shift for someone who might be – I don’t
know – a little status conscious at this time of year in your mid-teens. this
could affect anybody at any age but especially as a mid teen. we kind of live
in a hoity toity town I guess, and she came along for the ride completely. I
don’t know that all kids would have done it as well. actually I’m sure that all
kids would not have had such an easy transition. many do, many don’t.
thankfully she did. so she came along for the
ride she was super gung-ho. as Tim mentioned she really took the lessons
that we have been learning ourselves. she’s really internalized those so now
she’s careful about living on a budget and earning more money and she has two
jobs. she doesn’t have to have two jobs but she got two jobs because she wants
to sock away some money. and she’s really careful looking for good deals for food
and things that we naturally do and she just kind of learned at our side I guess.
so it’s really funny to see that kind of play out in in her. I’d like to think
that some of those life lessons that we provided her along the way are the
reason that she’s able to be out on her own right now. she has some confidence
that she might not have otherwise had because of the fact that she can get
away with living with less and things like this. so I believe that…it’s all because of us (jk)!
that is not true. if you’re watching this sweetheart, we don’t believe this.
now we’re also gonna talk about college because this is a huge one. we get this
question over and over again. Tim and I had the intention to fund all three kids,
a big giant chunk of their education. that was our intention. our kids had
different plans. and like I said we’re not gonna get into the nitty-gritty but
they did not want to opt for the traditional four-year college right
after high school. and we saw the writing was kind of on the wall as they were in
high school, I guess. so we stopped contributing as much to a 529. we
realized that we may not need this 529 money for our kids’ education because
they were looking to go in different paths and in fact it looks like they
have gone in different paths. and they may end up in college at some time. but we do still
have a chunk of money set aside in a 529. we’re not ultimately sure what’s gonna
happen with that money, but it is still sitting there and available for some
child’s education. we’re expecting our daughter to go to school after she takes
a break. but again life can take different turns and it is her choice. and
no matter how much we might want to push College on our kids? it was their choice
to make and certainly they’re adults and they’re able to make that choice on
their own. we’re also asked what our children think about our nomadic plans
and when they don’t have a home to come back to what what how does that feel?
well, the nice thing about our situation here is that my ex-wife has a home here
in our community as well as my children’s grandparents – my ex-wife’s
parents. and so they have existing places where they can come back and so I don’t
feel like that they necessarily are
begrudging our decision to make this nomadic move. now that we’ve talked about
kids and our financial independence we’re gonna turn the page and kind of do
the other side of this equation which is parents. our parents and financial
independence. my parents divorced when I was in high school and found their soul
mates soon after that. so I’ve had the good
fortune of having two sets of parents in my life, really since I was right right
about early high school. all amazing people. yeah, they love Tim! who
wouldn’t love Tim? and I was an only child, raised by my grandparents and my
single mom. and both of us learned a lot of lessons from our parents and we’re
gonna share some of those because I think they shaped who we are today. my
dad and stepmom were investment bankers in the 1980s. think Wall Street and Wolf
of Wall Street, the movies. they were working in these environments and they
are frugal at heart. I wasn’t always frugal. so Tim and I –
we’ve talked a lot on our channel that we weren’t – we were he thought we were
frugal, but we really weren’t frugal. but I did see what frugal looked like. I should
have known better. whatever! my parents went to work in this environment of excess
excess excess 80s. their co-workers wore furs to work. they took private cars to
work. they took the subway to and from work and wore normal clothing and their
peers would say “why are you not living large like the rest of us?” and it
just wasn’t their style. so fortunately, I saw them live this way and it took a
little while, I think, to really imprint but it was those lessons way back
there and they have come out in the past five years which are incredible. I’m also
gonna share that they weren’t into gifts. they weren’t into stuff at all. they were
into experiences. so my dad and stepmom are major major travellers and showed me
that traveling the world is a worthwhile thing to do. and I followed along on
their adventures from afar like “wow! like that sounds so cool!”. so big surprise that
I am where I am now but it certainly is aided by my parents
leading this way all around the world. and it was so cool that I might be able
to do this myself someday. so kind of getting that “no stuff” and enjoying
experiences especially travel really really sunk into my cor.e there
are two money lessons that I really took away from my mom. the first one is gonna
be hard work. my mom owned an answering service in our
small town where she slept in front of a switchboard that was in our house. so
this was before the age of voicemail and things like that. and so she literally
worked 24/7 and she would have people come and relieve her – only for an hour – just a few hours. and so she she definitely taught me the
value of hard work. and then the other thing that she taught me was…I guess she
taught me…gave me a healthy fear of debt. so I don’t know why but she
definitely didn’t like the idea of having debt, didn’t like the idea of
credit cards. and so if you’ve watched any of our travel hacking videos, I’ve
embraced a different side of tha.t but nonetheless I certainly was fearful of
having debt of any sort of substantial amount. yeah fortunately she didn’t
imprint on the credit cards. yeah not so much. but we still have avoided debt
forever other than our mortgage. in the yeah, so we avoided debt but credit cards we are a-okay with credit cards! yes we are!
yeah and when it comes to our parents in their advancing ages, they are okay. so I
mentioned I have two sets of parents. they are both set through their lives
and I don’t have to worry about saving for them in their future which is a gift
to me as well. and the same thing for my mom. my mom has always assured me that
she’s always been an independent woman and she’s certainly been financially
independent and has shared with me that she’s set and capable of taking care of
herself. so we are definitely very lucky and that our parents gave us some
early life lessons. as well as we’re very lucky because they were savvy enough to
make sure that they can care for themselves as they advanced in age. and
this is gonna lead us to our giveaway. this week our friend Cameron Huddleston
is coming out with a new book. it’s gonna be on Amazon and it releases on June
25th. for now there is an early bird price on Amazon so there is a discounted
price and it is perfect with this topic that we’re talking about. it’s called mom
and dad, we need to talk – how to have essential conversations with your
parents about their finances. this is incredibly important, like I said.
actually like Tim said. we know that our parents are taken care of but
this money could be a real funny thing to talk about. I’ve been talking about it
with my family for really my entire life. so it’s something we’re very comfortable
about. I know many families are not that comfortable. but it’s really important to
know – what are your parents intentions and how do you fit into that?
so this is our giveaway. one copy of this book. Cameron is going to send one lucky
reader a copy. you do have to live in the 48 contiguous United States in order to
enter and here’s how you enter. put a comment down below that includes your
state. by the way if you aren’t – if A. you don’t want this book – maybe this
doesn’t apply to you or you do not live in the 48 contiguous United States? we
still want you to put comment so we’re gonna ask for comments about a different
topic…about a related topic…in a second. but if you want to participate in the
drawing? how we’re going to know that you want to participate in the drawing is
that you’re going to have some comment. and in it you’re gonna say and “I live in
Ohio” or whatever. and then whenever we pick the winner we’re gonna pick that
winner by the way on Sunday June the 16th. this video goes live on Wednesday
June the 12th. so get your comments in before the end of day June 16th. we’re
gonna pick a winner. and then we’re gonna notify you in the comments of YouTube. so
make sure you’re looking at your notifications because we want to get
that sent out. now if you don’t win the book, please go ahead and buy her book.
we’re gonna put links to it in both the video description and the comments. but
we have done work with her she’s just profiled us for various magazines. she’s
an excellent writer. we’ve met her in person. she’s a lovely human being and
she’s working with aging parents herself now. so, she’s going through the process
and wants to help others along and we want to help our audience be able to
have these conversations. so please make sure that if you again haven’t won the
book, go ahead and pre-order because you’re gonna get that at a discount in
the next week or two. there’s a related topic that we’re going to cover and
that’s going to be “what ifs”. what if something awful happens? how are you
going to financially accommodate this given situation? and so we’re going to be
talking about that in the next couple of weeks. we’re gonna be traveling next week,
so that video is coming out in the next week or two. but we have a lot to say
about what ifs because this can derail your entire financial independence early
retirement plan if that’s something that you want to be doing. and we’re gonna be
talking about this quite a bit. so that’s coming out on a Wednesday
and we hope that you’re gonna watch that because you’re gonna subscribe down
below we hope? yep! make sure to give us a thumbs up! and
this week’s comment – we want to understand – what kind of household where you brought
up in? were you brought up in a household that discussed money or never said a
word about money? so put a comment down below. I’m gonna answer those as soon as
I can. I’m hoping to be all caught up over the next few weeks because we’re gonna
be in France. yeah! so see on Wednesday. with that, au revoir! au revoir!

29 thoughts on “Viewer Questions – How Did We Retire Early With Kids? (+ a Giveaway!)

  • Ok well, not the best example of financial success!!! Listen, we paid for three college educations for three sons and NO they NEVER heard that college was an option!! We would of done anything to see that that happened….however, having said that, they also took some loans to have a responsibility in their future as well. They are successful individuals with families and we are all the way debt free….it takes focus and future planning but it’s possible to do both!!!!!! People, not sure who these people are but their road is not the path I would recommend!!!!!!!

  • Money was never really discussed when I was growing up. Now that I have my own child, money and the family budget are a part of our conversations.
    I live in CT.

  • Some questions are more challenging to answer than others. "What do we do for health insurance?" is one of those. "What's your family situation?" is another. We don't have "the answer" for either of these tricky subjects but didn't want to shy away from answering them. There is no perfect answer. Each situation is unique…this is our story. **As mentioned in the video, our friend, Cameron Huddleston's new book is out soon. You can pre-order it here – https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/111953836X/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_taft_p1_i0

  • Hi from Canada! I grew up in a household of money secrecy. To this day (I am almost 50), my parents won’t talk about money. I have broached the subject countless times as I need to know where things are at, banks used, etc. in case anything happens. It’s a no-go from them. As for my kids, I have talked about money, investing, debt, borrowing – you name it – and my kids are like sponges. We hold some investments together, they attend meetings with us, sit in on discussions with realtors, bankers, etc. to really get familiar with the lingo and how things work. I hope they can be more money savvy than I was. It took me years of trial and error to figure things out.

  • I live in Virginia and we have always tried to financially educate our children. ‘The Richest Man in Babylon’ was required reading in our home.

  • Thank you for this giveaway. I'd love to win. I live in Western NY State! 🙂 I was brought up in a household with a single mom of 6 kids who taught us to be very careful with money. I am trying now in my mid 50's to finally learn again, and apply these important lessons.

  • Super content! Thank you! I live in South Carolina (however, parents are in PA). The book sounds perfect! Money wasn't discussed much as I was growing up, but we have talked about it with our (now adult) children. 😀 Appreciate the giveaway!

  • Thanks for sharing more of your story in the video! I’m obsessed with all the ideas I’ve gotten from you. Growing up, we didn’t discuss money very much, and I’ve since found out my parents were living on high-interest credit cards, even though they were both successful, hard workers. They were living above their means. With my husband, we’ve experienced building our dream home and being house-poor, and then moving and having a much more sensible house, but then knowing we had lots of extra slush in the budget, living large and being very non-frugal. Now that we realize that retirement could be in sight, we’re finally dialing it in, and learning and doing all we can to expedite that process. Thank you for the lessons!!!The book looks great, and I live in Florida.

  • Impressed by you Tim as a child of a single mom who worked so very hard for you to step back and say I have enough I am going to retire is impressive. So many people can't do what you have done. Amy as a child of divorce same goes for you. I don't need the book my mother will never talk to me about money…….New Jersey

  • I NEVER buy souvenirs on my travels:
    1/ it is a waste of money
    2/ the people you buy it for or yourself…after a while you forget about it
    3/ bad for the environment when it is thrown away

  • Thanks Amy and Tim sharing a little information about my book — Mom and Dad, We Need to Talk: How to Have Essential Conversations With Your Parents About Their Finances. This book draws on my experience as both a financial expert and a daughter who has had those essential money talks with a parent. Full of practical advice from my life, from others who’ve had the “talk,” and from financial, legal and elder care experts, Mom and Dad, We Need to Talk offers tips on getting over your fears of having this conversation, a variety of conversation starters, strategies for talking about difficult topics such as long-term care and much more. You can get more information at https://cameronhuddleston.com/mom-and-dad-we-need-to-talk/.

  • My parents were of Germanic origins and felt that their money was theirs and my brother and I were never told anything about the household money. We lived well but money we did not earn was none of our business as far as they were concerned. We were given modest allowances. It did create some tension when we went off to college and moved away from home, as we did not know how to manage money. To this day…..I still have no idea about my parent's money situation–just that they are very comfortable in their retirement and have everything that they want in life. I feel a debt free life is the way to go and am sorry it was not promoted when I was a young adult. I am doing my best and have learned a lot on my own and am still learning. Thanks for this video.

  • It’s great that you have influenced your daughter positively . Good money habits and attitudes will see her through life.

  • Great topic! Good to hear that you addressed the debt issue and the importance of not relying on debt to fund your lifestyle.

  • Hi: I think it is great that your youngest is on the FI path at such a young age. Good for her. What made me a saver? Grew up in a dysfunctional alcoholic family. My mother always saved for the next crisis. Never long term because, warm fed and dry were the goals. Sometimes met, sometimes not. MY parents have both passed so we don’t have to have that talk. My husbands Mom and Dad are in there 80’s and their finances are a total wreck. We help them every month. I have two sisters that are older than us and we help both of them. Their SS is very low. Less than $1000.00. They are 69 & 71, both in poor health. There is such a large segment of the Boomer’s that are like my dear sisters. No assets, no extra income over their SS. It’s tragic. Yes, you need to have the talk early on enough that it could do some good.

  • Awesome video guys! Thank u for the positive message! Book sounds great I live in Colorado! I read about you guys in a Kiplinger magazine! If i remember correctly u guys live in Colorado?

  • I’m in NC. My mom is actually very proud that Ive taken such an interest in personal finance, started my YouTube channel, and I’m trying my best to spread what little I’ve learned! The only sticking point for me is that her entire retirement has been invested in an annuity by her financial advisor…. but she trusts him…😩

  • Greetings from the Hoosier state, Indianapolis. Great topic. Nice to see you all having kitchen table conversations with your daughter involved. The impact we have on our children is much greater than we realize. They may not always listen to what we tell them to do, but they do what they see. I watched my single mother save and roll coins and I still today save coins. My daughters, you guessed it, they save coins in a jar. No one sat us down to instruct us, we did what we saw. Good example = generational impact.

  • Hi, we live in the Buckeye State of Ohio… Our parents both never told us much about money, except dont go into debt, we didnt listen. 20 yrs. ago we stopped & paid off all our debt. We came across financial freedom principles in 2011, had our 2 girls go thru a series of classes & are aware how behind we are, working on staying out of debt & saving for future in semi-retirement is hard now. We will perservere as we move forward with wisdom & knowledge & are not afraid to talk with our grown daughters about this.

  • How about a video about your volunteer activities. How do you make your retirement meaningful and purposeful? Many people talk about foreign volunteer activities. do you plan to do this?

  • Money was not discussed in my family when I was growing up. One of the reasons was that money was tight and, perhaps, somewhat of an embarrassment for my parents.

  • Thanks for the sincere and honest video.
    There are many cultural differences that make it more difficult for people in Latin countries to follow your example. Here in Brazil many kids go to college in the same city and keep living with the parents. Many move away only when they marry. Also, taking care of elderly parents at home is common. In the US, there is a much more advanced structure for assisted living, people often move to other states, etc.
    On the other hand, my kids love to travel with me, and I find fulfilling the opportunity of showing them the world, even if it is for a shorter period of time. Have your kids accompany you in your last travels? Are you planning to?

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