– Today we ask the age-old question. – Will it milk? – Let's talk about that. (funky electronic music) (fire crackling) – Good Mythical Morning! – And Good Mythical first
episode of season 15! – Woo!
– Bam! And to start the new year
and new season off right, we're going to shift
the boundaries on one of life's most familiar
beverages, cow teat juice. Now, granted, there are a
growing number of alternative non-cow milks already. There's soy, almond, coconut, cashew, macadamia, many
more, but those are boring. Ours are going to get weird. – Yes they are, but first,
if you wanna see us live in concert, you're in
luck 'cause we've added three new shows to our
concert series in April. We're gonna be in St. Louis,
Missouri, Columbus, Ohio, and the DC slash Maryland area. Tickets go on sale
Friday but you can go to rhettandlinklive.com today
to sign up for our newsletter to get early access to tickets and VIP. – Mm-hm, and plus tickets
are still available– – Yeah, tickets are still available. – In London and Nashville so
that's at the same website. Now, let's get into milk mode. It's time for– – [Rhett and Link] Will It Milk? – Now since our cow would not
cooperate to make anything other than boring milk, we
are gonna mimic the approach of your common nut milk
to make ours today. – All you gotta do is put
nuts in a milking sac. We're gonna be saying that a lot, just go ahead and let it sink in. Add water and then let it
soak two to three days, then you ring out the sac and bam, you got bonafide drinking milk. So Mythical Chef Josh
has done with this with a bunch of things that aren't nuts. I mean figuratively, they are nuts– – Yes.
– But not actual nuts. And all we gotta do is squeeze
'em, starting with Twinkies. – Yes. Not only are Twinkies
delicious, bring in the sac. They're also great apocalypse food because they last forever,
the only problem is, they're not good for you
unless you turn 'em into milk, 'cause milk does what? – A body good?
– Yes. – Why are you so close to me? – 'Cause I'm emphasizing this. – 2019, you're gonna be this close to me? – Yeah there's gonna be
a lot of this emphasis. – (chuckles) Okay, all right. – All right so we, squeeze it, man. – Well what's in this bag? – There's 28 Twinkies in there,
half of which are blended and the other half were left whole. – We call this Twinke de leche. (Rhett softly moans) – You're being real ginger with it. (Rhett groans forcefully) It's springing a leak on the side. – [Rhett] Well yeah
you told me to go hard. – [Link] Are there holes everywhere? – [Josh] Yeah, you're doing great. – [Rhett] (groans) Milk hard. Oh (chuckles). – Milk what? – Milk hard! (chuckles) If you're gonna milk, milk hard!
– Milk hard? – That should have been
the campaign in the 80s. – Speaking of milk hard, I already got one that's fully done. Boy that was difficult,
difficult to make this one. – You know what, making milk is hard! Is another way. – I think you've got enough, dude. Seems like a great idea. Dink it–
(glasses clink) Drink it. – Oh. – It's so sweet.
– Oh. – I mean, wow, you'd
think it'd be watered down a little bit, but– – That's just water and Twinkies? – [Josh] Yup. – This does not taste
watered down one Twink. – No, it tastes so Twinkie. How do you make Twinkie into an adjective? – So good. This is so good!
– Twinkie-ee. – I'm so, it's 2019. We're back.
– The year of the Twink. – Yes. (crew laughs) Twinkies, will it milk? – Yes.
– Yes! – Back during our Munch
Madness tournament, Cheetos came in second
place after losing to Lay's sour cream and onion chips, but maybe they would have won
if we had have milkified them. Link's got a bag full of
three full bags of Cheetos. – Oh yeah. – [Rhett] Cheeto milk just
has a good ring to it. (Link moaning forcefully) It's hard, isn't it? – Oh yeah. Milking ain't easy. (groaning forcefully) Oh, that's plenty. Woo, gotta get the blood
out of my face now. (chuckles) – Yeah, you thought I was
being dramatic, but no, squeezing a nut sack is not easy. – We call–
(chuckles) We call this Milkeetos. Dink it. Drink it too. – I thought this was gonna be horrible. – It's corny. It's greasy. – And– – Cheesy.
– Yeah. I am getting the exact flavor profile of a Cheeto in liquid form. – But it–
– Which is everything I dreamed it would be. – But look, there's like a
whole thing of oil on top. – [Rhett] Don't look at
it, don't look at it. – Like look at it, it's like
glistening grease on top. How is there so much grease in a Cheeto? Look at that. – Interestingly, mine is
not as greasy because– – They whisk it.
– It was homogenized. – I think Josh whisked
that one right before he brought it out. – I requested homogeneization of my milk. – But a fresh-squeezed Cheeto is greasy and that gives me a negative vote. I don't know if, are you
saying the taste overrides it? – I think it's great. I mean it's not as good as Twinkie milk. I mean it's not the year of the Cheeto. You know, I'm not going that far. – Yeah, it's too fatty for me, man. – Really? – I guess we can go split
decision on this one. – [Rhett] Cheetos, will it milk? – No.
– Yes! – It always makes me feel
sad when I visit a farm and see the chickens staring jealously at the dairy cow's udders. That pink finger balloon gets
all the farmer's attention. So in an effort to make
farm chickens feel better, we're gonna make fried chicken milk. – Okay. – And this is Popeye's
fried chicken breast. We're using that just so we
can call this breast milk. (Rhett chuckles) – Okay.
– Squeeze it in there. – As you can see–
– 12 full chicken breasts, half blended without the bones, the other finely chopped with the bones. The question is are we making broth? The answer is no, we're
making breast milk! – And I am squeezing this breast milk directly into the new
redesigned Good Mythical Mug that you can get for
yourself at Mythical.store. – Oh yeah.
– Oh gosh. – I already got a glass
of breast milk over here. – I'm not gonna make any
breast squeezing jokes. – So with chicken broth,
you don't have the fried– (Rhett grunts)
Stuff. – Oh man.
– So that's what makes this different, special,
and potentially better. – Milking would be a great workout. That could be the 2019 craze. Everybody's getting pumped from milking! – Yes. You do it like this and you get the pecs. You do it like this and you get the delts. You do it like this
and you get the glutes. You can't see what I'm doing
'cause it's under the table. – Okay, you think Billy
Blanks would get in with that? – Yeah he's sitting around waiting for– – Billy Blanks is back and he's milking. (mugs clink) – Dink it, mm. – What? How does this keep happening? It literally is again,
the exact flavor profile– – Yes.
– Of fried chicken. – And I don't have to chew. – We could sell this to the astronauts. – Fried chicken without the chewing. Astronauts line up. It's hard for them to line
up 'cause they're floating all over the place but get in line, boys. And girls. Anyone can be an astronaut.
– Hold on. I'm not kidding. This could be the future of food. 'Cause think about it–
– I agree, man. – You're being hydrated and you're being, what's the word for hydrated that's– – Made happy.
– That's not water. Sustained? They need a word for putting
solid foods in your body that's the same word that
there is for hydrated. You gotta stay eat-drated. (Link chuckles) – But then we wouldn't use that word 'cause that's not what this is. – No you're getting it. I'm saying you're getting the nutrients, you're getting the liquid. You don't need to eat chicken, you just need to drink chicken milk. – It's like eating
without any of the work. – [Rhett] Fried chicken, will it milk? Yes.
– Yes. – I'm what you might call a lignophile. That's someone who loves
wood, but all the many ways that I've experienced wood over the years, I've never seen it milked. Until now. – Just get a little smell of this wood. This is mesquite and cedar wood. Oh don't hesitate to get right in there. – Wow, love it. Love everything about it. – I'm not gonna put that back in the milk. – I wanna be hydrated with it. – Okay.
– Oh oh oh oh. – Whoa! She's already gushing. Here we go. Oh that's brown. Now we don't have a name for this one yet but we do have a slogan. Got wood? – That's like a shirt
that would be on sale for $7 on Myrtle Beach. – (chuckles) Right. – You know? – Oh there it is. – Link, would you like some milk? – Yes. – Would you like to taste this milk? – Yes.
– Would you? – Yes. – It looks like cider. It looks like cider.
– It looks like cider. Probably tastes like wood water. – It's definitely a sipper. – Yeah, you don't– (chuckles) Yeah that's right. – I really, I want to save this. – Savor it?
– Again, we do a lot of things on this show. We discover a lot of things
and the thing I have discovered is that when you milk something,
you're getting its essence. – Yes. – It isn't like, oh, milk. Wood milk tastes like something else. No, wood milk tastes like wood. – Yeah, it does not water it down. – It tastes just like
you're drinking wood. – Don't go hard with this stuff. I think you'll become laminated inside. – There's something to it though. I mean, is it horrible? Is it as horrible as
you thought it would be? I thought this was gonna be awful. – I think it needs like bourbon. – I think it could use
a little simple syrup, maybe some lemon. – Yeah. But we keep sipping it. – Mm-hm. – Take it camping? – Yeah, take it camping. – Or make it when you're camping. – What happens when you
throw it on the fire? Does it flare up or does it go out? Who knows, we gotta go find out. – Let's find out. Wood, will it milk? – [Rhett] Surprisingly, yes!
– Yes! – Next up, we're not
gonna do cockroach milk, not because it's too nasty
but because it's actually already been done, yeah,
there's a certain cockroach that births live young
and then feeds them milk, so that just raises the bar for us and that bar contains spiders. – Does the cockroach have nipples? – It's an excretion which then they eat so in that definition–
– Yum. – Of milk, it is milk. So maybe let's, do you wanna
squeeze first or open it? – Let's squeeze first.
– Squeeze first. – So we know what we're up against. There's a lot of spiders in here. We've got a zebra tarantula. We've got, well actually, 30 of them. (chuckles) And then we got
five in tact completely. Gah. And we call this the amazing spider milk. (Link chuckles) ♪ Spider milk ♪ ♪ Spider milk ♪ ♪ Milks whatever a spider milks ♪ The spider teat. The spider nipple. Spider nipple, that'd be a good superhero. – It'd be a really small superhero. Okay. I haven't smelt it yet. – Why is it pink?
– I have one over here that's remade. It is pink, and what, oh come. So you got a, what is
that, tarantula parts? What is this, a garnish? – [Josh] I think it slipped
through the milking bag when I did it. – Good one. – [Link] Yeah, that is not
the type of garnish that– – I'm getting the smell,
I'm getting the smell. Oh gosh. (Link retches) I'm just gonna–
– It's earthy. – Show you the inside of this, just– – Dump it right here.
– Dump the outside here. Just to show you what spiders look like when they get milked. – [Crew Member] Oh. – Oh wow. Oh gosh.
– Golly. That, that is awful. I think we should have drank
it before I showed you that. – Yeah.
– Look at the spider flesh. Oh gosh! Spider flesh, it's that color. – Yeah take that. Yours is gonna be fresh. Mine, who knows how long
mine's been sitting out. Okay. (whimpers) Okay. Okay, it's a new year, it's a new season. – If the theory holds true that– – Same old us. – The milk version of things
is the essence of things, then this is the essence of spider and that sounds like a cool cocktail. Have you tried essence of spider? (glasses clink) They
have it at that place. (Link gags) (Rhett retches) Oh gosh. I swallowed a little, oh! (both retching) Oh no! Oh! – I actually vomited and Twinkie came out. Which, hot tip, if you're
gonna drink spider milk, start with a whole bunch of Twinkie and a little bit of Cheeto because– – That's awful! – Oh. I actually, I retch a lot
but I don't vomit much. I guess 2019. Bring it. Okay, all right. What did that taste like? – The essence of spider. – It's earthy, there's like
a dirtness quality to it that doesn't help. – It tastes like–
– Oh gosh. – Everything that–
– We should just– – Is a spider and everything
that a spider is around and just look at it. We didn't need to drink it to
find out, we just, we just, we did, so you wouldn't
accidentally make spider milk. – Spiders, will it milk? – No!
– No! – Thanks for liking,
commenting and subscribing. – You know what time it is. – Hi I'm Sarah the cheese lady. We're here in Tulsa and
we're carving cheese. – And it's time to spin– – [Kids] The Wheel of Mythicality! – She's still going at it!
– Yep. – Click the top link to
watch us try popcorn milk in Good Mythical More. – And to find out where the Wheel of Mythicality's gonna land. We've turned the GMM
mug green for season 15. Get yours now at Mythical.store.